I think I have lost my confidence

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hannabanana

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I am really confused on how I feel about jumping now. Since my nasty fall jumping at the beginning of may I haven't tried jumping once (which could of been prevented if I wasnt so stupid and wore a BP:mad:!) I have no desire to do it anymore, I used to love jumping, I was always the 'one' at the yard who took on any kind of fall, got up, got back on and did it again without no fear. Now I keep putting off trying it. I am not sure wether or not I would jump a jump if one was put infornt of me.
I feel really silly for saying this as its not like me to admit that im a bit scared of trying to jump again. :(.
I would of been kicking ass at my local show tomorrow, and going to the cross country in a few weeks but no, not anymore. I was considering just showing, but to be honest I dont think my riding is good enough, and my lad isnt showing material, for a start hes covered in lumps and bumps and he doesnt behave very well in the show ring, fine for schooling but not the show ring!
I am quite happy just happy hacking but people keep asking me why im not getting out there and doing things, I feel like I have failed myself for not trying again, but I dont want to, but at the same time I do, Im envious of all my horse buddies going to all these showjumping events. Oh im so confuzzled!!
Sorry for the daft post, I wanted to get this off my chest, it was bugging me.
Anyone else had something similar? Did your confidence get knocked what ever it was, and how did you overcome it?
 
I didn't have a bad fall but after some very nasty experiences I completly lost my nerve to even canter and ride out of the menage!

I repetedly said to myself to not worry its ok nothing bad will happen and this really helped me.

I also found counting my breathing helped if this made sense, I would say I'm going to do 2 breaths a second and then I'd do one breath a second. This helped me be in control in something so I felt more relaxed. Also listening to music helps.

How about doing trotting poles? And literally go back to doing the basics as if your learning to jump again. You will get through it, don't give up I almost did but with some amazng instructors and my mum I am now doing xc happily again :)
 
I would personally go back to basic, trotting poles and build up. I think we've all been there at sometime or other, I know you will suddenly click in again. But when you get to my age 60+ just going for enjoyable hack and I don't think you are ready for that just yet.:D:D:D:D:D:D
 
Dont give up i did (jumping) and regret it the longer you leave it the harder it gets. I say i hate jumping but if forced to do it come away having enjoyed it, wish I had stuck with it when i first lost confidence so i wouldn't be one of the "I dont jump" clique. My boy is really novicy when it comes to jumping so thinking of riding friends horse to build my confidence so i can help him, he loves it just not very good at it legs everywhere lol. If you decide not to jump you can always try dressage I now love schooling as im just not into hacking!
 
I lost my confidence to ride at all after a serious accident last year.
I've always really wanted to ride again as my daughter also rides and our horses have been our lives really, but as much as I wanted it, I equally found it hard, verging on impossible at times.

I got a new horse 3 months ago and I'm getting there, I have found that taking things are your own pace is most important. Forget what others think, its what you think that matters.
You have to want it to find the will to jump again, and I agree with the others about starting from the beginning, trotting poles is a great idea. I have found I've had to push myself daily, but it gets easier and the enjoyment will return and you will enjoy jumping again.

Having help and support from a friend is a huge benefit, someone to ride with to give you moral support and encouragement, and sometimes a kick up the rear if need be lol
Good luck x
 
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I had a bad accident almost a year ago. I wouldnt jump! In the end I told the instructor at my RC group jumping lesson to 'make me do it' and i nearly pooed my pants but i shut my eyes and did it. Tiny, little and often. You will get there in the end. Confidence is fragile so you need to take your time. It won;t come over night but believe me it will. Little and often, and celebrate every small achievement. Good luck!
 
If you can afford to have lessons then I recommend getting someone in that can start at the begining again and build it up.
Or if you don't fancy it on your horse at the mo, try finding a RS that has safe but capable horses so that you can start again.
Going back to basics with something you know you can do sometimes gives you that push to try something harder.
 
I lost my confidence many many times, but when i went into the school, I just started back at going over tiny cross poles, then building myself back up, eventually getting back to jumping cross country etc.
But also, just remember you ride for you. Not for anyone else. If you feel happy just hacking, bugger the rest asking why arnt you doing more! If you dont want to do anymore, dont do it!
 
I know how you feel hun - I had a serious accident 3 years ago - was leading a horse who bolted and my hand got caught in the lunge line and I was dragged 60' - got a hole in my head for my troubles.

I wasnt riding but I lost a lot of confidence and I did put far too much pressure on myself that first year or so after coming back to riding - I thought I could go back and jump the heights I had been doing previously but I was terrified on the few occasion I did dare to jump that high. When I realised I had nothing to prove to anyone but myself, I decided to take a huge step back and basically start again with my jumping - that way I might find that love of jumping I once had but without putting too much pressure on myself to go back to jumping 3' - so I have asked my new YO and RI to teach me to jump all over again - as if I have never jumped before and we will see how that goes :)

Good luck hun
 
We all lose confidence at some time, just take it easy,go back to basics and relax. There is nothing wrong with just hacking, I do it all the time. I have had some bad experiences but tried hard to get back little by little and it worked. Its part and parcel of riding. Enjoy it and never think you are hopeless, most folk dot ever go near a horse!
 
I lost my confidence after a bad fall. And REALLY lost it. For months I used to get a stomach lurch even if I rode over a mark left in the sand by a pole!!! I was still fine actually riding, and hacking out.

Horse was on livery at a riding school soon after that, I started doing little jumps on a schoolmaster, and once I felt ok with that, started doing it with my own as part of a weekly group lesson. After a few months of that, I confessed to my teacher that I was getting 'butterflies' during the afternoon leading up to the lesson, so she asked me why I was wanting to jump. I thought about it and couldn't come up with anything other than 'cos I think I should'. She said riding and horses should be fun, and if I didn't want to do something I was perfectly entitled not to do it. So I stopped. And felt hugely relieved!

A couple of years later, having been a 'happy hacker' for a while, a tree fell over a bridleway we use regularly. It was very, very low, but blocked the track. Everyone I was hacking with popped it, so we had to as well, and it became a regular thing. I started again having lessons, but took it very slow, and small, and although I'll never be hugely confident, I was happy enough to pop a little fence as part of a 'riding horse' class (in my photobucket). I was so happy I cried after, while stood in the line, what a wuss!

So I'd say try again, slow and steady, if YOU want to, not because other people think you should. If you don't, or nerves are bothering you, just chill and enjoy riding your horse until you feel ready again. :)
 
I bet there are loads of us who really relate to this post. I didn't even have a fall, just gave up for 10 years and then saw two really bad falls when I did take it up. I echo the slowly slowly approach. I dont think I'll ever get back to BE level but quite enjoy my lessons now and my 60cm rounds! LOL. Only thing is I've had to send my youngster away to be competed cos he couldn't cope with my lack of positivity.
 
I know how you feel. I've seen people lose their confidence before and always thought I would never react like that after a fall/bad experience, but all that changed a month ago when I had a nasty fall. I was mounting my horse and he let off a huge buck before I was properly in the saddle and took off bucking like an idiot. Needless to say, I didn't last long before I hit the ground hard. It's taken me all this time to get back on board and I still have real hang ups about mounting - I've only done it once since without someone holding onto him for me.

For me, the biggest step forward was actually admitting I'd lost my nerve and was scared. Since then I've asked people to help and I'm making progress. I think the key is to admit it and ask for help from someone you trust, just having that bit of support and someone to nag you occassionally makes all the difference. Just don't do more than you feel happy doing and you'll be fine.

Good luck x
 
OP you said your riding is not good enough for showing classes, may I suggest that you practice and have some flat work lessons, when you have more faith in your riding, then you will feel more positive about jumping as well, as you will know that you are in charge of the horse. I also think that if you concentrate on your riding skills on the flat you will become a better rider. I am old enough to be of the school of thought that good riding is not about how hight you jump, but how well you ride. :)
 
I used to be terrified of jumping solid fences after a spate of XC accidents as I kid. I know this isn't the proper way of doing things but I took my cob who I trust to death mock hunting. I made sure there was no jumping options at all times but after being tanked most of the way round I put him at a tiny log which he towed me into, at no time did I think he was going to stop so I ended up jumping nearly everything! I think also the adrenaline rush was very useful!
 
Ahh thanks guys! I didnt realise how many people have been in a similar situation to me. Its very nice to know im not alone! As for your suggestions, I would love to have some lessons, but I cant afford them at the moment, but I think I could benefit from some flat work lessons before jumping once I feel a little bit more confident and have some cash!
But you are right guys, I'm happy just hacking, I dont know why I take everything that people say to me to heart, Im such a sad sap! Thanks for your support :)
 
hi i had a really bad accident 3 yrs ago and thought i was over it but even if my lovley cob spooks a bit im terrified i also just want to have fun again and enjoy my riding like i used to i used to jump gymkhana ect 4 yrs ago and my lovely cob is perfect but i am so nervous i suppose having a metal plate in my hip is allways going to be on my mind please help give me some confidence again - sorry for this depressing post but when you love horses and they are your life its v hard when you lose your confidence
 
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