I think I may hate her!!

C

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Little background...I have had my horse for almost three years, she is a WB x cob almost 13. Had her almost 3 years but she has had over a year off due to an accident we had resulting in her damaging her suspensory ligaments (hind) and then taking eight months to get her fit and schooling again, long time I know but being the breeding she is she lives on air and had become obese with no work, despite the lack of grass and stingy hay nets she got, so I had to give the extra time to walk the weight off.
She works amazingly well in the school, she uses every single part of her body, she is supple and straight has the most amazing collected work and although not as good as her collected her extension is good as well, she is a very responsive ride, in fact can become a hot head, and being the breeding she is she is very powerful.

Anyway despite her age, she has never been to a competition in her life. I am not hugely competitive myself, but there was dressage on last night so I thought I would take her to it as it was at home. My daughter was riding as well and as her horse can be nappy I thought I would be moral support for her as my girl does not nap.
The show field is a five min hack from the yard so we headed off together and our instructor came with us as well. It was quite quiet still, only about eight horses there as we were on early. I warmed up and she was a little bit tight and tense, but not feeling too bad and as we relaxed she worked in better and better. I quietly moved her away from the others and she was happy to do this, no change in her work, other horses were being lunged, some were shouting, boxes were pulling in and unloading and i took her past all the monsters and she still worked well. I was to go second in my test, but my instructor was watching the time and had worked out the girl before me hadn't turned up, so I trotted down to the judges car and said so she asked if I would just go first then, I said that was fine and I turned and said to my instructor I was just going, turned my horse around to ask her to trot round the arena and "boom" she erupted.
First I got a launch, this was followed through with a buck to slamming halt, to a squeal and kick out. we then got a few paces of very tense trot before another bucking fit to canter on the spot to launch to buck to halt to trot to spin ( probably added that for a bit of spice) then the horn went and with a huge kick I got her to the entrance where she tried to plant, small discussion and we extended trotted our way down the centre line, bold and straight I may add, till we got to around G where I asked her to flex right and woohoo... collected canter round the corner, up the long side in launch trot, start to ask for our first circle, there we are in canter again....I ask her to trot...flying change...she goes whoops wrong leg, changes again...I ask for trot again..I get buck again and so it continues. The only time I got the pace I wanted in the place I wanted was our free walk and exiting the arena :0 she then stood there in a heap looking at her mates in a "wow boys that was exhausting" way!
Me? well I put on a brave face for my daughter who rode her darling horse beautifully, and tried to laugh it off, but when I got home I just cried with sheer frustration. I spoke to the judge who said she also couldn't see what triggered it off and she felt so sorry for me as she had watched me warm up and my girl had really caught her eye as her paces are just wow, and my instructor, who is also a judge said that even a little tense her paces would have been 7's if she had behaved, and when she is working at home she is consistent 8's and 9's in her trot and canter. But last night it was 3's, 4's, and 5's as she was never doing what she was supposed to be doing...how embarrassing...a rubbish 41% ;( Not being the most confident of people when it comes to riding in front of others this has been a huge blow for me.
Anyway Just needed to get it off my chest, thank you for reading xx
 
Bad Luck:(:o The only way round it is to keep at it until either you or the horse relaxes, or both. Next time you could try putting her on a horse walker for half an hour, or going for a hack and then go straight in. Her paces might not be so good but you may manage to finish the test.
 
You can't expect every horse to behave perfectly at their first competition! This is why you have to keep taking them to lots of little shows , lessons, riding club clinics to allow them to get used to the atmosphere of a show environment . The first show is stressfull and difficult for most horses!
Poor mare sounds like she was a saint to start off with then the busyness of the atmosphere just got to her- can't say I blame her if she's never been to a show before! Take her on lots of little outings so that she can get used to it all.
 
Oh no don't be disheartened, I know the feeling as I ride a youngster for an owner and he can warm up beautifully then get in the ring and its like "woah mum this s just to exciting". Not sure if it would work for you but I now always enter the most easy test they have just to get him in the ring and treat it like a warm up. I then go for another test later so he just has to stand around and chill. Fingers crossed he's now starting to settle really well and always gets top marks in his second test as he's been in and seen it all. We are now in the process off weening him out of this :) good luck xx
 
That's the joys of competing unfortunately! :) They are not machines, and for a 13 yr old mare to be at her first ever competition it was bound to blow her mind a little bit.

Just get her out more and more and don't "hate her" for getting upset!!!
 
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We spend ages preparing ours for shows. They go and have a wander round maybe do an in hand class. Sometimes we go and just do the warm up then leave it at that. I think it was a huge ask of your mare and her head just went. I'd dial it down and get some miles on the clock
 
Don't let it get you down... my horse completely embarrassed me the other night at our xc clinic, despite the photos showing different. Refused to jump things we'd jumped a million times before, bronks, rears.
They do it to keep us on our toes, and to ensure we remember that horses are, and will always be slightly neurotic and unpredictable :)
As mentioned previously, maybe just go straight in after a hack next time with out a true warm up.
Dont give up, she sounds like he could be a real star ;)
 
Going to admit the bit I am trying to avoid admitting to myself.
I was on another yard for ten years, place was my entire life, when there I had a lovely boy who I did a lot with, he was my pride and joy. Another girl on the yard was very very competitive and would accuse me of holding him back etc...and things just got difficult.
I lost that horse four years ago and I fell apart.
This girl had a lovely school master but she wanted something else, she went and tried a few at a yard further south from us and came back raving about this fantastic mare who is talented but sharp. Our instructor advised her that it was not the horse for her and in fact the seller would not sell to her. I then was approached about another horse at the same yard who was for sale and was given first refusal. I went to the yard to see it, but it wasn't the horse for me, I was close to giving up as I thought I would never find the feel my old boy gave me.
I rode a few that day as the RS part of our yard was looking for a few new horses. I then mentioned the mare the other girl had tried and they said oh she is just coming in come and see her, well before I knew it I had rode her and for the first time in the ten months since I had lost my boy I enjoyed it and I bought her there and then.
A few months after that I left that yard, I had had enough of this girl bitching and her boyfriend was becoming more and more involved in the yard and I had taken a huge dislike to him as he was just smarmy and thought he could buy his way in.
I do not speak to anyone from the old place, I will say "hi how you" when passing but apart from that I have no interest. I keep hearing through the jungle drums that they are constantly asking about me and my daughter and what we are doing.
This girl, from the old yard, was there last night. Our times were far apart and I knew I would be done before she turned up so that wasn't an issue, I think...no, I know, what is getting to me is she will have seen that ***** mark without seeing the reason why it was so bad, and yet again she will be saying it was my fault, and Im holding my horse back and she is wasted on me. I was just getting over all that and WHAM its all come rushing back.
Oh and I don't hate my horse..she is a old hag, but she is my old hag. Also I have taken her into the competition field when there has been other bits going on, just at the end of a hack when we were still doing fitness work, had a wander round and let her see things, perhaps I need to take her inside the boards and school her a bit more on grass, never bothered her in the past, but she is a lot more bouncy since her suspensory's stopped bothering her.
Thank you all for answering, its good to get things off my chest...Im in for it when I get to the yard..lesson lesson lesson!!!!! Instructor is a rock she wont let it go until I sort my head out x
 
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You just need to do lots more of it! She's bound to be excitable at her first show, especially as she had to leave her stablemate behind to go into the arena. It's a lot for them to take in. Keep taking her. Take her to a few really small shows, let her get used to the atmosphere and the routine of being plaited, loaded, tacked up, warmed up etc. She will get used to it :)
 
I would say its harder taking an older horse to a competition over a younger one. The older one is used to its life how it has been, then suddenly gets plonked in something totally strange.

I had a horse who was an excellent hunter, but had probably never been to any shows before I got him at 9. He was a total pig at shows.
 
Countrychic said:
We spend ages preparing ours for shows. They go and have a wander round maybe do an in hand class. Sometimes we go and just do the warm up then leave it at that. I think it was a huge ask of your mare and her head just went. I'd dial it down and get some miles on the clock
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this.

huge ask of her and more homework should have been done. I took mine to shows just ride round the warm up and boxed off site for lessons for months prior to his first show and he was (and still can be) a total knob in the warm up.

credit where credit is due-she warmed up well ,so although the actual test went to hell in a handbasket... you are half way there.
 
Prince33Sp4rkle said:
credit where credit is due-she warmed up well ,so although the actual test went to hell in a handbasket... you are half way there.
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^^ And this is the point ^^ She's never been to a show before so you need to look at the positives rather than concentrating on the negatives. What did she do well? What did you do well? What could you do in preparation for next time to make sure you improve on things?

Also... my last horse had been to countless shows, clinics, lessons away from home, hunted, fun rides etc etc... yet he could still be truly vile sometimes at a show, if he chose to be. That's just horses I think and you have to chalk it up to experience. I now have a green youngish (5 when I got him, rising 7 now) who had only hunted when I got him. We've spent the last year doing lots of work at home and doing small, low key competitions. Whenever I've taken him, I've always fully expected some sort of tension, maybe a few fireworks, goggly eyes at something etc. At his first show he was beyond awful, spent the entire time bucking, squeaking and snorting. But I hadn't really expected anything less. So we went out again a few days later, again really low key show, and he was a million times better. Different horse, and better again the next time we went to a show. It does get better, you just have to keep at it.
 
Prince33Sp4rkle said:
this.

huge ask of her and more homework should have been done. I took mine to shows just ride round the warm up and boxed off site for lessons for months prior to his first show and he was (and still can be) a total knob in the warm up.

.
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Don't get me wrong, Im on a competition yard, she has been taken over to the show field when other things have been happening, we have clinics and comps most weekends here so she has been in the atmosphere on plenty of occasions. I didn't just drag her out unprepared and expect her to do an amazing test, I know it wasn't the atmosphere, there was no "I cant cope" about her it was very much "I dont want to do it". That' s why I am sticking to the things at home for now as I know she will worry in a new place and that would have been unfair on her.
 
She'll get used to it with practice. Don't stress. And as for the other girl, screw her! She's not your friend or anyone who matters to you so therefore what she thinks is of no significance AT ALL! Just prove her wrong by taking the mare out as often as possible. Eventually she'll chill and your scores will be fantastic xx
 
If she's been to places where competitions are held and is used to hustle and bustle, then I think you need to look at yourself in terms of your change of mindset when you told the judge you were ready to go in.

Did you tense; was the 'horrible' girl from the last yard on your mind?

Amazing what horses pick up on even if we think we're calm within ourselves! I know if something doesn't go as planned I will tense then it just makes it worse and horse becomes git from hell (was even told by a judge last year to sort my horses back out as it definitely had a back problem - it didn't, it was just me transferring my feelings to my horse as I got more and more flustered as each movement was cr*ppier than the last).

As others have said, get out there loads until a dressage test becomes a day in the office :)
 
Awww don't beat yourself up sounds like you have a very talented by sharp and sensitive mare who was picking up on vibes you will have been giving out without realising. Keept getting out there! Who cares what these people think!
 
Top tip - lose the baggage ;) forget what other people think of your or your horse and get on with doing what makes you happy. When your horse is naughty don't take it personally - she is not doing to annoy you or spoil your day ;)

Good luck :)
 
icestationzebra said:
Top tip - lose the baggage ;) forget what other people think of your or your horse and get on with doing what makes you happy. When your horse is naughty don't take it personally - she is not doing to annoy you or spoil your day ;)

Good luck :)
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Oh I wish I could do this, i honestly do! I love my girl dearly and my issues have obviously let her down. :( Im lucky to now have a very very talented and patient instructor and a yard full of wonderful people who couldn't be more supportive if they tried x
 
icestationzebra said:
Top tip - lose the baggage ;) forget what other people think of your or your horse and get on with doing what makes you happy. When your horse is naughty don't take it personally - she is not doing to annoy you or spoil your day ;)

Good luck :)
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This! I used to enter an SJ arena chanting "I don't care" in time to my canter. It really helped.

I can sympathise on that feeling of truly hating your horse in the bit after a terrible test. I used to be in tears before we even halted on my old boy. On one occasion I got off virtually as we exited the arena and handed him to my mum and walked off. Couldn't face him after how he'd behaved. I loved the very bones of him, but when he'd go down a centre line and pretend he'd never been ridden in his life, there's only so much you can take.

I found when I took the 'I really could not care less" approach, even when tests were worse than what you got (we scored a 75 at an ODE once- the next worst score was 38... 25% trumps 41%!) I was enjoying them much more.
 
I agree with a lot of the others and think you pegged your expectations way too high. For a first competition together, both of you getting there and back in one piece would have been the level I would have aimed at. The fact she worked in well then becomes a bonus.

Is it possible for you to hire the arena you rode your test in and have a couple of lessons there just to get you both settled again. Some places do test riding practice sessions, maybe that's something to look into. Good luck, I'm sure you'll get there, but baby steps are the key. :) x
 
councillor said:
Oh I wish I could do this, i honestly do! I love my girl dearly and my issues have obviously let her down. :( Im lucky to now have a very very talented and patient instructor and a yard full of wonderful people who couldn't be more supportive if they tried x
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Also... don't beat yourself up about it! Horses are very forgiving so you should be too - you had a bad day, got hit by nerves. Tomorrow is another day and all that so pick yourself up and resolve to try to do a bit better next time. Look for the positives and build on them rather than look at all the negatives :)
 
Wandering around a warm up when you're not competing is one thing but then adding the competing element into it is another ball game altogether. Your nerves, tension or excitement would have added to hers and boom!

You need to work out which warm up strategy works best for her, it could be hours of schooling, just a quick 10 mins and in, or go for a hack and a gallop to get her beans out... It will take a few shows before you work out which warm up works so stick with it - I've had times when I couldn't get the ****** even in the arena, and horse bogged off at sight of flower pots and bogged off when judge tooted horn!! All the joys of competing :o)
 
Lots of good advice.
Just wanted to re-emphasise about how *you* may have changed when you went into the arena. I take my little mare to our local RC shows for intro dressage. She's great in the warm up and can go really nicely but as soon as the horn goes I know that I tense up and she does stuff that she doesn't do when I'm riding at 100% relaxation. I'm getting better at staying relaxed now (I don't even know why I got tense as it's a nice encouraging environment with no pressure and we have nothing to prove) but still I think very few people ride in exactly the same way under the judges scrutiny as they do when they're on their own.

So don't totally blame the mare - as someone else said; lose the baggage about the horrible girl as she's totally irrelevant - and get back there and do it again and again and again...
 
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