I think my horse is telling me 'it's time'

L

lhotse

Well-Known Member
Joined
25 August 2006
Messages
2,943
Visit site
My beautiful mare is giving up. She's been progressively eating less hay, and has stopped lying down in the stable. She is arthritic, but it's always been managed, she's 26 in April. This winter has been hard, what with the cold weather so I had already made the decision for it to be her last. I wanted her to have the summer first though.
Last week, we got our vet out to see her, and she said she was extremely stiff through her spine, and diagnosed spondylitis, an inflammation of the discs and tissues. She has been given Danilon, but it's only had the effect of making her stop eating completely as she thinks I'm trying to poison her. I think it also upsets her sensative stomach. Three years ago, I almost lost her from enteric septicimia, and she's not really done that well since to be honest.

But she has been happy.

Today, she refused to eat her Danilon in a treacle sandwich, bashed the door to go out, then grazed for half an hour before asking to come back in again. She then picked at her feed, had a bite of hay, then put her head over the door and contemplated. She always eats up, she loves her food. She is almost in a sort of dreamy state, not really quite with it, but not distressed either.
I think she has had enough, if I can't manage the pain because she won't eat, what can I do?

It's incredibly hard for me to make that phonecall, I have owned her since she was 4, all my adult life. She was my 18th birthday present.

But I will not see her suffer an undignified end, I owe her more than that.

I just wanted her so much to have some spring grass and sunshine.
 
Must be hard so close to it being spring, but I think you know your horse, and it sounds very much like she is telling you to let her go.
The sun will always be shining in her new pasture.

I think you already know what to do. thinking of you. ((((hugs)))):o
 
The most selfless thing you can do is grant her release.
Lucky girl to have had the same owner all her grown up life, and one willing to do the best by her. Not many horses can lay claim to that.
If you think its time, then it probably is.
 
Massive hugs!! As they always say, better a day too early than a day too late! She wont mind not seeing another Summer and as you say, she is normally a hungry and happy horse and now she wont eat anything and is jaded, I think she is trying to tell you too.

Worst decision in the world, especially as you have had her for so long. Good luck and massive hugs. Just spoilt her in the time you have left xx
 
awww hugs to you It really is such a horrible thing to have to think about....you know your horse and if you think she is trying to tell you then maybe it is for the best especially if she isn't eating her meds :( the weather isn't being helpful though can get some horses down bit like us :(

I always said to my boy that I would let him go with dignity and when he told me so to speak...he did so I upheld my promise to him never easy though :( :(

You have been by sounds of it a fantastic mummy to your mare and you can only do your best for her in anyway which way...what ever you deceide my thoughts will be with you.
 
Bigs hugs. However much you may want her to go in the summer maybe the time is now. It is a few more months til warm spring weather. Luckily I havent had to make that decision yet on a horse but I know with my dog he "told me" when it was time - you tend to know in your heart of hearts and can see it in them. I am sure you will make the right decision what ever that mey be but fingers crossed she picks up.
 
Oh my thoughts are with you..........
What a lovely life she has had with you for all that time. I've just got my first horse - he's 8 and I am already getting upset knowing one day that time will come. And my beautiful Birman cats have just turned 10....
They mean so much but we love so much we know when to do the right thing.
Thanks for sharing as we all need to face it sometime & its good to share & be a little prepared.
Best wishes x
 
You have my sympathy - it's hard when this happens, but you are obviously sensitive to your horse and want to do the best by her. From what you have written I think you are right and she is telling you it's time. I also know how hard it is to make that call, and it's obvious that you are thinking of her welfare ahead of your own.

My suggestion - though what works for me may not be right for you - is to set yourself a deadline in a few days or a week that if she's no better then you will have her PTS. Maybe you could see if the vet can suggest another way of easing her pain and stiffness, so that you know you tried every available route.

From my experience - spend lots of time with her, take lots of photos, hair from her mane or tail so that you have good memories. Be strong.
 
I think you already know what she is telling you. Be kind, give her release. Death isn't as bad as we believe it to be. Its just a step into the unknown but once we get there, its no longer 'unknown'.
 
I really feel for you. You know your horse best and whether its now or in the Summer, the decision will be heartbreaking and remember you will have done your best by her by not allowing her to suffer. The saying better a day too early than a day too late is so true.
Big Hugs
 
I had my mare pts before xmas. I had her from age 4 til she was 25. She had a short illness and stopped eating and drinking and I knew she had had enough by the look in her eyes. It wasn't as awful as I thought it would be and I am glad that I could stop her suffering anymore. I took a good chunk of her tail as a keepsake.
Its a hard decision but I think they do tell you when they have had enough.
 
I also think you know the time is now. You know your horse better than anyone, and the least we owe our beloved horses is a dignified end. The day I phoned my vet he could hardly understand me as I bawled and bawled down the phone. But I just knew, just as you do now. You are proving yourself to be such a caring owner. The pain will end for her, and begin for you now, but I'm sure you would rather have it no other way. I'm in tears writing this. Go and give her a groom, and a cuddle and spend some time with her.

Thinking of you xxxx
 
Massive hugs to you :(
I had to face the same decision in September. My beautiful TB mare who I had owned for 3 and a half years and had been having problems with her all through that with bucking etc was diagnosed with a slipped disk and had to be PTS at rising 8. I was heartbroken. Its such a hard choice but in the end you know your own horse . Everything is so peaceful when it happens and they are no longer suffering.
I agree with give her a few days or a week or so to perk up and if not then make the call and discuss it with your vet.
I don't envy you in this situation you have had her for so long, but again you know your own horse and I do believe they tell you when its time and you just "know".
Massive hugs to you and I am thinking of you. PM me if you need to.
Izzi xx
 
So sorry to hear about your mare, although personally I often find that once the decision is made then it is best to get things done sooner rather than later, otherwise I end up torturing myself over everything, once the ball's actually in motion I find it easier to deal with and almost a relief, as awful as that sounds. Of course that is just me, but I do think that waiting for a 'right time' is very stressful and of course there often isn't a 'right' time.
Will be thinking of you and your mare.
 
Me again. I agree with Touchstone. Prolonging it will be much harder for you.

Can I also add, my mare was also arthritic, and I feel relieved that I made the decision while she was still able to lie down and get back up, albeit starting to struggle. I'm so glad the day never came where she was stuck. She had a peaceful ending thankfully.

You have my sympathies xxx
 
Thankyou all for your kind words. Many times I have read other people's posts on a similar vein, and been in tears for them and their horses. I will give her the weekend, she is still bright in the eye, and like I have said, it may be the Danilon upsetting her. If she is no better, then the vet will come. If she does pick up, then I will give her as long as she is confortable and happy, but I will not see her suffer.
 
I'm sorry for you :(

We went through a similar thing with our old dog last year. He was arthritic and needed Metacam to be comfortable, but the medication gave him stomach ulcers and he refused to eat. It's so hard because when the medication works, it's great but when it has undesirable side effects, you are stuck. Quality of life over quantity, any day. The day before our dog was PTS we knew it was the right time - same as your girl, he just didn't seem to want to carry on any more.

It was a horrible thing to do and I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life (I'm 30!) but as soon as it had been done, it was a relief as well. That probably sounds cruel but it isn't meant to be. We had set a deadline earlier in the year and he perked up for a while, but when he went downhill again it was obvious it was time.

With regards to getting her to eat the medication, you could ask your vet for Metacam instead? I believe it is supposed to be more palatable than both Danilon and bute. Also maybe try disguising it with fresh mint - I've always found that works when they won't eat something.

My thoughts are with you.
 
lhotse said:
Thankyou all for your kind words. Many times I have read other people's posts on a similar vein, and been in tears for them and their horses. I will give her the weekend, she is still bright in the eye, and like I have said, it may be the Danilon upsetting her. If she is no better, then the vet will come. If she does pick up, then I will give her as long as she is confortable and happy, but I will not see her suffer.
Click to expand...

You are making the right decision *Massive hugs*
 
I was just going to suggest putting some mint or something tasty that she really likes in her feed, as our pony is on Danilon, and although it's supposed to be palatable, he treats it like rat poison and we have to put extra nuts and mint in with the medicated feed. I see someone else has already suggested mint. You will know what is best for your mare; I hope everything goes well for you, whatever decision you have to make. xx
 
My heart goes out to you at this time. I know from the sounds of your post that you love her with all yor heart and soul and she loves and trust you so the decision is never an easy one but grant her the dignity of peace. Its better to let her go now than to watcher her suffer at a later date. She will never be forgetten and will always be in yor heart this will never go away so just remember you gave her the best of yourself and she to you. My most heartfelt wishes to you at this time.
 
elsbells said:
It's the one big favour we are allowed to give our animals, that no-one is allowed to give us.
Click to expand...

Hugs, Hugs & more hugs - I'm sitting here with tears running down my cheeks thinking of you preparing to lose your best friend - I just hope when the time comes for my beautiful mare I can do it as repectfully as you xxxx
 
i am in the same position as you- only im choosing to end it before she starts to suffer when the harder ground comes- im not waiting for her to be crippled- or agonized if her tendon snaps- and i just dont know when that will be.
it is absoloutly awful, the worst thing ever. i wish i could give her the summer- but it wouldnt be fair on cloud. its tearing me apart- but you have to think of the horse.
you sound like a wonderful owner, and im sure she has loved being your horse and having so many special years together. i wish i could say the same :(
im so sorry (((((HUGS)))))
 
My mare is on metacam and gobbles it up no problem despite being very fussy and suspicious of anything new.

My vet once told me that horses have no concept of tomorrow, they exist only in the present and it is so true. One less day in her life will make no difference to her at all. She is so lucky that you are reading her so well, many people don't care enough to even look.
 
I'm sure you will do that right thing at the right time because that's what you do when you love an animal. I posted a couple of days ago some words that I wrote having just having come to the decision you are contemplating about my old mare who I have had for 17 years. I think in your heart, if you know its the right time - then it is. I dearly wanted my old girl to see the spring grass and snooze in the summer sun again but in the end it wasn't to be and now even two days after having her put to sleep, although I miss her like crazy I am incredibly comforted by knowing that I made that awful decision at the right time and didn't put it off - if its time - its time - I think you'll know instinctively. All the best with whatever conclusion you come to.
 
Can you mix the Danilon in something like apple juice and get a big syringe and get it down her that way? You could try speaking to your vet about a different painkiller, think you can get some in a paste form?

Its a very hard time for you and im sorry as I know how hard it is.

You will know when its time to say goodbye.
 
If you are asking yourself that question then 'its time'.

Have never had a horse PTS, but can equate it to dogs and cats I have owned in my life. Every time I have asked that question regarding one of them, Its time.

I wish you well with this. I am in working with tears streaming down my face, and its not my horse. Better a day too early than a day too late.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top