I`ve turned into a wimp...help please..!!!!

SatansLittleHelper

SatansLittleHelper

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This could be long, please bear with me.....:o

I used to ride alot when I was a teenager (Im now 31) and 2 years ago finally had the chance to come back into horses which I did, I have a Clydesdale, an ID/Sports Horse and a baby WB/ISH.

The prob Im having is with the ID..I bought him last yeat 3.5 years, he had been backed early in the year and turned away to grow up...had had limited handling and came to me a bit of a handful. I spent all winter bonding with him and could do anything with him...as he turned 4 he was then sent away for 4 weeks to be brought back into work etc. Trainer was thrilled with him, said he was great and has a a massive natural ability for jumping (which is what I wanted, his Sire is a Grade A jumper). So I brought him home, hacked him out a few times and was over the moon, the I got on and he bronced resulting in me being bucked off and really hurting my back (I didnt have a body protector on, me bad, I have learned my lesson..!!!). Once I had healed I got back on him wearing a friends body protector which was a bit long in the back, although my boy behaved well I felt really awkward and havent been back on him since (this is all in about 12 weeks). So now he is a big mud monster in the field and I desperately want to ride him again. I have no facilities such as a school so I just hack him out to get him used to seeing different things (he is spooky with traffic).
Im about to purchase a new body protector but I feel sick at the thought of getting back on, even though Im not actually scared of him...if that makes sense..??
I desperately need some tips to help build my confidence with him as he and I could have a fab future together and the bond I have with him is amaing, this is my horse of a lifetime, I know it :o
 
Have you tried lunging him before you get on? It can just give them the opportunity to blow of any steam before you get on meaning that you don't have to deal with the bucks and can see what sort of mood he is in.
 
Just take tiny steps. Get on him and sit for the first bit. Next day get on him, sit and then walk down the road. Next day walk a bit farther. That really helped me when I was having confident issues regarding the riding. I took tiny tiny steps but now aft a bit of time I am back to my old self and hoon around a bit when we are out. If you dont even feel you can sit on himt hen get someone to lead you out. Dont expect too much too soon and dont put too much pressure on yourselves.
 
Do you have a riding instructor you could bring him to and get to ride him a few times, then give you a few confidence building lessons on him? A few lessons in an arena might help you get your confidence back.
Maybe a hacking buddy might help too. Someone with a sensible "nanny" horse to keep you company and make the nerve wracking situations easier to handle.

When I lost my confidence I asked my instructor to hop up and ride for a bit before I got back up. Just seeing someone else ride my boy helped my confidence, the issues I'd been having with him didn't crop up when my instructor got on, which made me realise I was triggering it. When I got up I had a friend on foot beside me for the first few minutes, until I felt comfortable to go a bit further away. They sat with me in the arena for a while, then went and sat outside when I was happy.

Take your time with it, maybe do some groundwork with him too.

Wishing you all the best with your boy. :)
 
I'm another body protector convert after I got catapulted off and broke my collarbone. I now wear it all the time and I don't notice I have it on.. It's a bit like a seat belt in that once you get used to it it seems odd and wrong to ride without. I've an Aerowear Outlyne.

I'd do the same as advised above.. Take it slowly, lunge him, get used to handling him on the ground..backing up and stop /walk on / back up exercises maybe get him bending his neck side to side and up n down. And deep slow breathing when you get on to keep you both calm. He sounds like a great horse so best of luck. :)
 
Antw23uk said:
Honestly? I say sell him to a home where he can fulfill his potential and get yourself a nice quiet older plod along horse to enjoy.
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First thing I want to say is that I do not need nor want a "plod", hence why I bought the horse I have :confused:
As for selling him, there is not a snowball in hells chance of me ever doing that. Yes he has potential, but he is a horse...HE doesnt care if he fulfills his potential or chills out in the field forever getting muddy and eating ;):rolleyes:
So thanks for the advice but Im looking more towards working with my confidence again than wanting to part with the best horse I have ever owned.

As for the other messages, a HUGE thank to all of your info/help/advice...I am definately going to try doing some small steps, incrementaly seems to be the way to go. I dont care how long it takes, he is a baby..I just want to do right by him..!!! :D:o
 
HeavyHorseHugger said:
First thing I want to say is that I do not need nor want a "plod", hence why I bought the horse I have :confused:
As for selling him, there is not a snowball in hells chance of me ever doing that. Yes he has potential, but he is a horse...HE doesnt care if he fulfills his potential or chills out in the field forever getting muddy and eating ;):rolleyes:
So thanks for the advice but Im looking more towards working with my confidence again than wanting to part with the best horse I have ever owned.
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Just what I thought. :D Fulfilling potential is a human thing, nothing to do with what horses want or need. Good luck.
There might be some useful stuff here. http://effectivehorsemanship.wordpress.com/2012/04/28/whats-your-confidence-question/
 
The first few times I rode my mare I got someone to walk alongside me, just up and down our lane (my uncle soon got bored of being lumped with that job!). I can honestly say just having someone there made me feel so much better, until I was happy for him to stand at the top of the lane and wait to make sure I came back! So that would be my suggestion :) best of luck, it's worth it in the end!
 
Little steps and celebrate every single one of them! My mare had severely knocked my confidence, which culminated in her bucking me off and actually managing to spin round & kick me as I was on the way to the floor! I then swore I was never riding her again... (she had come to me as having slight problems, but it wasn't anything I didn't think I could handle, hence taking her on)

She spent quite some as a field ornament, while I regrouped. When I came to get back on her, the first day I spent 45 minutes stood on the mounting block debating whether I could actually get on this horse! And slowly working myself up into a good and proper panic about it! After 45 minutes I actually not only put my foot into the stirrup but sat up on her. I walked 5 minutes down the road (she's always been better being ridden on the road than in the school - so I wouldn't necessarily recommend that for you!) clinging on to the saddle for dear life, as though I'd never sat on a horse before. I was proper pooping myself! Got halfway down the village and decided I couldn't go any further so turned around and went home.

This went on in much the same fashion for the next few months, with the time to get on getting much less and the time actually riding out getting much longer.

It has taken us quite some time to get there, but we have since been out doing prelim & novice dressage, jumping, and I hack her pretty much anywhere now. We still have moments where I just have to go "you're scaring me. I'm getting off now". If I get to that point and I'm out hacking, I will just get off, walk her for 5 - 10 minutes in hand and then get back on - and this seems to work for us to get both our heads back in the right place.

My mare is definitely not a plod, and quite possibly in someone elses hands she could have gone far. But she's a happy soul, and she is most definitely not a horse that just everyone can ride (which she has demonstrated by dumping pretty much everyone that gets on her, except for me and my instructor....). She's nearly 16, and she's not going to leave my stables now. And to be honest, if she's still being a madam at 16, I think I just have to have some days where I have to be scared, and try again another day!!

Also - placebo effect or not - but try rescue remedy. I used this on me and my mare for those first few months when we were finding our "riding feet", as I think it helped.

Sorry - I have rambled on rather - but good luck, have brave hugs (as they really DO help :D) - and let us know how you go on :)
xx
 
HeavyHorseHugger said:
First thing I want to say is that I do not need nor want a "plod", hence why I bought the horse I have :confused:
As for selling him, there is not a snowball in hells chance of me ever doing that. Yes he has potential, but he is a horse...HE doesnt care if he fulfills his potential or chills out in the field forever getting muddy and eating ;):rolleyes:
So thanks for the advice but Im looking more towards working with my confidence again than wanting to part with the best horse I have ever owned.

As for the other messages, a HUGE thank to all of your info/help/advice...I am definately going to try doing some small steps, incrementaly seems to be the way to go. I dont care how long it takes, he is a baby..I just want to do right by him..!!! :D:o
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Go girl! Absolutely right too. :D make sure you get your BP fitted correctly. The place I got mine had a saddle set up to sit on to make sure it covered the relevant bits.
I've got to a place with my riding and horsemanship that I now appreciate the difficult ones that test you. They are the best teachers as long as you stay safe.
Just crossed a big hurdle today myself. My first lesson since I fell and broke my collar bone three months ago. So back at the scene of crime and everything went really well.:D Apart from not bring able to ride my favourite because he went lame and getting back on Mr Lazy Plod. Ohh tired legs.
 
Just remember that a knock to your confidence is a temporary thing, just take little steps and you can get back to where you were before.
Anything that can boost your confidence like wearing a BP is a good thing, I always wear and don't care if people think its overkill for an hours hack - if it stops me thinking 'what if' then I think its a good thing!
By the way mine is an Airowear Outlyne, get it properly fitted so you're comfy and away you go (even if your first steps are a 10 min walk up the lane!)
 
Huge thanks to everyone, you have all given me some ecellent advice..!!!! Lots of good ideas here for me to pick through. Im just going to do one little thing at a time...No rush for him or me. I have ordered my body protector so am hoping to make a start net week with him, will keep you all updated. :D

I do want to say to those that think I should sell him...why..?? He is a very happy and well loved horse, just because Im having confidence issues doesnt mean he is not the right horse.....surely everyone has the occasional wobble even with the most eperienced riders/horses..??? Im not one of these people who will sell a horse at the first sign of trouble, I made a commitment to him. Its up to ME to make it work.
 
The Boy said:
Just remember that a knock to your confidence is a temporary thing, just take little steps and you can get back to where you were before.
Anything that can boost your confidence like wearing a BP is a good thing, I always wear and don't care if people think its overkill for an hours hack - if it stops me thinking 'what if' then I think its a good thing!
By the way mine is an Airowear Outlyne, get it properly fitted so you're comfy and away you go (even if your first steps are a 10 min walk up the lane!)
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^^ this :)
 
Just wanted to say take your time there is no rush... Spend time on groundwork.....get him back to where he was before.......only when you Really feel ready get back on...... And most importantly take the pressure of yourself.....have fun, take care and be safe.......you'll get there xxx
 
claribella said:
Just take tiny steps. Get on him and sit for the first bit. Next day get on him, sit and then walk down the road. Next day walk a bit farther. That really helped me when I was having confident issues regarding the riding. I took tiny tiny steps but now aft a bit of time I am back to my old self and hoon around a bit when we are out. If you dont even feel you can sit on himt hen get someone to lead you out. Dont expect too much too soon and dont put too much pressure on yourselves.
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i like this - seems reasonable - hope you feel better soon :)
 
Good luck once again op. If you get stuck and it seems mind over matter google NLP (neuro linguistic programming). It might help. :)
 
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