I was deluding myself

[MizElz]

I think our jumping days are over

We went out this evening, and to be fair, Ellie went beautifully, considering she hasnt seen a show jump for three years. But I was all over the place, and I just didnt get that wonderful buzz and adrenalin rush that I used to get after a round. Poor baby, she went so nicely, considering the fact that I was bouncing around in the saddle like a half-ton beginner

We went in the Clear Round, and I totally over-rode it, almost as if I was scared that she would put in a stop and bury me - totally unfounded, as it is something she has never, ever done! Went in for another round and it was a little better, but to be fair the course was geared up for ponies and we ran out of strides on every related distance. That isnt an excuse, though - a few years ago, we'd have been able to fiddle it. But today, Ellie tried to fiddle it, and all I did was hamper her.

I just dont think I have the heart for it any more. Without that buzz, there seems no point in doing it.

 

[dieseldog]

You'll probably get the buzz next time. I would go again and give yourself another chance. From what you have said you have every right to feel a bit nervous - it does get better.

 

[kombikids]

well bloody done for getting out there and doing it!!! you should be pleased that you did it !! pat yourself on the back - give it a few more goes so you start to relax and then youmay actually enjoy it.

 

[MizElz]

I dont think so. I've always suffered from nerves, and I've got to the point where I just dont want to put myself through it any more. The weird thing today was that I had no nerves going into the ring - normally, I'd be trembling and unable to talk, but today it was just the actual riding that was the problem. And all I could think of as I came out was, 'I dont want to do this again.' Quite the opposite of the old days, when that first round was all I needed to get me into it!

 

[Tharg]

Don't give up!, you'll get there.

 

[dwi]

there are plenty of other ways that you could get that buzz without taking her out jumping. I don't enjoy jumping that much after a couple of nasty falls as a teenager so we concentrate on other areas. I'd take a step back, think about what you do enjoy and go from there. I'm sure I remember you posting about really enjoying a sponsored ride recently?

 

[MizElz]

Yes, I love taking her on sponsored rides

I think that's going to be it now - we're happy hackers! We tried dressage last year, but neither of us are cut out for it. The thing with jumping is that Ellie truly adores it - she gets a buzz even if I dont, and it stops her from getting bored to be able to have a jump every now and again! But I think if we can do the odd sponsored ride and have a pop over some little fences, then I think I can keep her happy, and not get too stressed myself!

 

[MooMoo]

How about TREC ? i dont know much about it but i saw an article on it not long ago, its still got a bit of jumping but other things too. it looks really interesting.
or even just hacking, are there any good places to ride near where your horse is stabled? maybe you just need to find a new thing you and your horse can enjoy. not neccessarily competitive, just something you enjoy.
try not to be disheartened or too hard on yourself.

 

[Firewell]

I think u just seriously need 2 chill out (in a nice way)

look at this way... you were really brave just to give it a go! It sounds to me like you did brilliantly! your horse enjoyed it and you survived!!

If its not your thing anymore thats cool, but I think you should be very proud of yourself indeed. you havent jumped a course properly for 3 years!! Of course your going to be rusty

. Its better you over-rode than under rode anyway

.

Also trust me your not the first person to feel like they rode like a bunch of s***, lol! I bet it looked far better than it felt

and with so much expectation you put on yourself to pick up where you left off and do it perfectly its no wonder you felt a bit rubbish afterwards. I bet even top riders would feel rubbish after a 3 yr break

. Just be proud you did it!

 

[BBH]

Don't be too hard on yourself, it might take a while to get the buzz back but you are on your way, and as you said ponio behaved beautifully and that is what most people worry about.

Just keep going and the more relaxed you feel the more you will enjoy it.