Idiot other half and feel like giving up :(

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katymay

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Took the boys down the paddock to get Harry tonight and Noah decided to ride him back, Harry is very ploddy and laid back at the minute and really thought we were getting somewhere with him, tacked him up fine and popped Noah on, walking sedately down the road, Noah having a go at holding the reins when my idiot of a partner who was following behind with other son and puppy let the puppy get too close behind to the point where she nipped Harrys legs, he leapt forward and to the side and poor Noah fell straight out of the side door onto the road (I did try and catch him) luckily he was wearing his body protector and was unhurt just shocked, he refused to get back on, I dont blame him, so after me shouting at partner all the way down the road I brought Harry back riderless, im so angry at him, Noah is now refusing to ride anymore, feel like giving up and just selling Harry, ive put so much time and effort into him since we have got him with handling, de-sensitising, loads of in-hand walking to bombproof him etc, there is no schools within hacking distance we could ride in and we havent yet got a trailer, and the farmer refuses to let us use his fields as he is anti-horses, his paddocks are way too small, should I just give up, feel so gutted :(
 
I don't think you can blame Harry. Maybe you should get rid of your partner if you are apportioning blame to anyone.
Stupid man!
 
No I dont blame Harry at all, any horse or pony would have done the same, he blamed it on the puppy, and I said your the one in control of the lead, men!
 
Noah will come round to riding again,in his own time. Best tip I've heard to ensure they do,is to get someone else's child to ride pony in front of your kids-jealousy and proprietorial feelings will soon overcome them! Hopefully,OH won't make same mistake again. ;) My non-horsey OH has to be kept under fairly close watch to ensure he doesn't inadvertently do something stoopid... :-\
 
I dont think you should give up, I think your son will come round, he is just a bit upset and shocked. Don't force the issue and I'm sure curiosity will get the better of him sooner rather than later.

And sounds like you need to put some ground work into your OH too about how not to act round horses
 
Ps men are hard wired to blame someone/something/anything else,other than themselves,for most mistakes they make...eejuts!
 
Oh Katy.... You are posting at 11 o'clock at night. This is never good. It's not unreasonable for a horse to jump forward if he is nipped on the heels. I'm assuming your partner got the fright of his life when Noah fell and now feels wracked with guilt. Poor Noah. Give him time to get over the fright with out any pressure to get back on a horse/pony. Go to sleep without making any decisions. Things always look bad at night and you will have a better perspective tomorrow. Trust me on this. Now is not the time; your rational mind is not at its best. Wait until tomorrow. (you poor love *hugs*)
 
ZondaR said:
Oh Katy.... You are posting at 11 o'clock at night. This is never good. It's not unreasonable for a horse to jump forward if he is nipped on the heels. I'm assuming your partner got the fright of his life when Noah fell and now feels wracked with guilt. Poor Noah. Give him time to get over the fright with out any pressure to get back on a horse/pony. Go to sleep without making any decisions. Things always look bad at night and you will have a better perspective tomorrow. Trust me on this. Now is not the time; your rational mind is not at its best. Wait until tomorrow. (you poor love *hugs*)
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Have to agree, have another think in the morning :)
 
I wouldn't over think this, yeah oh was a prat, but it was an accident and your wee lad is ok. I would try and not make a big deal of it. I doubt very much that it has knocked your horse back any. He just reacted as any horse would. I could bet that your horse has forgotten about it already. Do you have off road hacking or is it all on roads? That can put an added pressure on as you have traffic to think about as well as thinking about a young horse. I hope Noah is ok, i am sure he will get over it quickly. x
 
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Sorry but you shouting and making a fuss at partner - turning it into a big deal, probably frightened your son more than if you had just made light of it. These kind of things happen with kids & horses. Give it a break and he will no doubt show an interest again.

I found that kids cannot be pushed you just have to provide the opportunity, and make it easy (and fun) for them.

I suggest you say -sorry I yelled at daddy, I got a fright, and I probably frightened you, mummy is a silly duffer. Harry is a silly duffer, and so is that puppy. Next time we will make sure puppy can't do that, and we will have some fun. (with a big smile- the more you laugh about it the less the kids worry). Then leave it and don't push it .
 
Urg, that sounds like a very annoying situation! Agree with the others, don't give up on Harry :)
Also, I think Venevidivici may have a good point! I helped out at a pony party today and there were 2 kids who were terrified of horses, but came along for their friends party. After seeing all the other kids having fun, they were soon on ponies and didn't want to get off!
I'm sure it'll seem better in the morning :)
 
Thank you for all the replies, I do feel less shocked this morning, I sometimes question my sanity whether I have done the right thing trying to teach Noah to ride when there arent any off-road opportunities, He is in one piece and im hopefull that after a few days he will decide he wants to get back on, as soon as we have bought the trailer I will be taking him and pony off for proper lessons, I will keep you all posted :)
 
jeeve said:
Sorry but you shouting and making a fuss at partner - turning it into a big deal, probably frightened your son more than if you had just made light of it. These kind of things happen with kids & horses. Give it a break and he will no doubt show an interest again.

I found that kids cannot be pushed you just have to provide the opportunity, and make it easy (and fun) for them.

I suggest you say -sorry I yelled at daddy, I got a fright, and I probably frightened you, mummy is a silly duffer. Harry is a silly duffer, and so is that puppy. Next time we will make sure puppy can't do that, and we will have some fun. (with a big smile- the more you laugh about it the less the kids worry). Then leave it and don't push it .
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Have to agree there, I bet your OH felt absolutely terrible even if he did blame puppy! Animals are unpredictable and children have to learn that these things can happen but people fall off unhurt and get back on all the time, and it's up to them when they feel brave enough to get back on. How old is Noah? I think having another kid ride pony probably would be a good idea, show it is fun and (reasonably) safe and he will hopefully want to get back on, but if he doesn't then pushing will just make it stressful.

If your OH is not horsey then you really have to spell things out (god knows I do with mine bless him but I am just happy he wants to be at all involved - we had an escaping in road incident last night *breathe* it was entirely my fault as I should have been in control)! He will have had a wake up call now!
 
At the end of the day your son is going to fall off 100 more times if he is learning to ride - it was just a matter of time. Yes it was silly to let the puppy get so close but if he is un-horsy I can understand why he would think nothing of it. If your son wants to ride he will, you can't force it :)
 
I know my OH always blames someone/something else, except the time we were working in the arena (outside) with a very green horse (second ride). My OH decided to weld something about 20 feet outside the arena! No amount of desensitizing gets your horse ready for that. It was a ride I won't soon forget.:eek:
 
jeeve said:
Sorry but you shouting and making a fuss at partner - turning it into a big deal, probably frightened your son more than if you had just made light of it. These kind of things happen with kids & horses. Give it a break and he will no doubt show an interest again.

I found that kids cannot be pushed you just have to provide the opportunity, and make it easy (and fun) for them.

I suggest you say -sorry I yelled at daddy, I got a fright, and I probably frightened you, mummy is a silly duffer. Harry is a silly duffer, and so is that puppy. Next time we will make sure puppy can't do that, and we will have some fun. (with a big smile- the more you laugh about it the less the kids worry). Then leave it and don't push it .
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agree with Jeeve. If it were me I would just take the pony & child out by myself without the rest of the family. Too many distractions!
 
It must be a man thing, they just don't seem able to assess the potential repercussions of their action. Maybe something to do with lack of ability to multi task?? The refusing to take any blame is absolutely typical of the sex. But I'd calm everything down, the more fuss the more Noel will think something awful happened. It didn't. No one was hurt. He is fine, the horse is fine, the puppy is fine. Give it a few days and start again. Maybe it is time to start doing the thinking for your OH, much as you would with a young child.
 
what a shame can't really blame pony even with the best will in the world if he's been bitten he's bound to react :(

I have to ask and I hope you don't mind but why did you have a puppy out with two horses and children in the first place?

We don't ride out like that especially not on the road its me leading and my OH walks besides my son so that if the worse should happen my son is taken care of whilst I concentrate on the pony. I've got dogs but they stay at home I don't need the added distraction. Drivers can be so inconsiderate at times its just not worth the risk.
 
Hope Noah is ok, not much to add sorry but our baby is called Noah great name!! I remember when I was younger our instructor had a saying about you had to fall of 'x' amount of times before you are a good rider, I just remember every time I fell off being really excited and thinking 'yes, one down- I'm getting there!' may e I was just a bit simple and gullible lol but could still work.
 
I must be the only one thinking poor OH, I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose?! I know, lets do something silly and cause a little lad some potentially serious harm...
I'd try and be a little calmer, having a huge furore over a fall isn't likely to help in any way, shape or form.
 
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