If only they could talk

[stangs]

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Blame Black Beauty. And yes, this is blatant anthropomorphism.

I know this comes up often in terms of "if only he could tell me where it hurts or what's upsetting him", but does anyone else wish they could just sit down and have a chat with their horse about their life? Whether there were particular horses or people they really cared for in the past, what they've thought of the things the two of you have done together, and what they've seen and experienced in general? For example, there was a horse at Brecon yesterday who'd apparently raced at Hong Kong - he's clearly lived a far more varied life than most people, and yet all any human will ever know about that is bits and pieces. You just have to wonder what was going on in his head.

My own gelding has lived in places I may never see, had experiences that I may never have, and, given that we know horses have pretty good memories, I just wish I could ask him about it. But also be able to tell him what I know about what the horses he grew up with are doing now, and what the future holds for him.

 

[MerryMaxmas]

I often think that about the dogs I've had, all of them have been rescues, some have ended up needing a new home because their owner has gone away, one was found as a puppy, my current one was abandoned, I bet they would have some fascinating, and in some cases heartbreaking stories to tell.

 

[Gloi]

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Blame Black Beauty. And yes, this is blatant anthropomorphism.

I know this comes up often in terms of "if only he could tell me where it hurts or what's upsetting him", but does anyone else wish they could just sit down and have a chat with their horse about their life? Whether there were particular horses or people they really cared for in the past, what they've thought of the things the two of you have done together, and what they've seen and experienced in general? For example, there was a horse at Brecon yesterday who'd apparently raced at Hong Kong - he's clearly lived a far more varied life than most people, and yet all any human will ever know about that is bits and pieces. You just have to wonder what was going on in his head.

My own gelding has lived in places I may never see, had experiences that I may never have, and, given that we know horses have pretty good memories, I just wish I could ask him about it. But also be able to tell him what I know about what the horses he grew up with are doing now, and what the future holds for him.

I'm glad in that most of mine have come direct from the breeder so I know their history and there are no awful experiences hiding in their past.

I still would like to be able to communicate though.

 

[Red-1]

I can imagine both of mine's thoughts...

Grass.... grass.... that grass looks nice.... grass.... where is she to give me my tea?

Although, people think (generally) that I am quite sensible, but I have had a few communicators. Some have done nothing, some come up with random rubbish but a couple have had startling revelations.

However, even the startling revelations have been somewhat random.

 

[Bonnie Allie]

Oh gosh no! I had a Connie gelding that would have definitely been a swearing, smoking, heavy drinking misogynist. He also suffered man flu once and we imagined the mares he shared a field with sighing with lots of eye rolling.

 

[Jenko109]

Noooo.

Let's face it, most horses would prefer to stay out grazing with their friends than they would go riding. If they could say 'oh, please don't make me go' then we would never get to ride!

And with dogs! Well! I would be out walking all day, everyday! Can you imagine!? 'Can we go again?! Let's go again!!'

 

[Glitter's fun]

Oh gosh no! I had a Connie gelding that would have definitely been a swearing, smoking, heavy drinking misogynist. He also suffered man flu once and we imagined the mares he shared a field with sighing with lots of eye rolling.

I'm thinking of that film about a bad teddy bear!

 

[Glitter's fun]

Isn't it dinner time yet?
Isn't it dinner time yet?
Don't make me pull a cart
Isn't it dinner time yet?
Yikes a cart.
Oh , false alarm its a pram. Are you ok down there mum?
Isn't it dinner time yet?

 

[Rumtytum]

 

[Barton Bounty]

BB is the opposite, he loves to go out. If I try to give him a day off and put him back in the field. He will stamp his foot at me. He loves getting out and about and in summer, I have ridden twice a day

 

[MiLeTa]

I'd love to be able to have a chat with mine- he's a proper comedian sometimes and he makes me laugh enough without words, so I think if he could speak, he'd be hilarious.

Having said that, at other times, I always imagine him like Harry Enfield's Kevin... 'It's SO UNFAIR'

 

[pinkfluffy]

Horse no1:
Why are you still here? If you're here, feed me.
Here are my TEETH!
Why are you telling me off for biting you?
I'm sad now, say sorry.
I accept your apologies...
Here are my TEETH!
*sideways head lunge*
Oh hi, is it tea time?

Horse no2:
How's it going? Yeah, he's a nightmare. Want a hug?

 

[smolmaus]

I am convinced that because I talk at all my animals so much, just absolute stream of consciousness garbage, I have made all of them more chatty. The cats never shut up and pony nickers and huffs at me all the time now. When I say good girl she agrees with me, "yes, I am good girl, hurry up with the treats".

If we could have like, 30 seconds of clear communication I'd ask her what she actually enjoys and what she's only doing because I ask her. Apart from eating, obviously. And tell her that I will keep her safe, I hate that we can't just tell them that they're safe

 

[gryff]

I can imagine both of mine's thoughts...

Grass.... grass.... that grass looks nice.... grass.... where is she to give me my tea?

Although, people think (generally) that I am quite sensible, but I have had a few communicators. Some have done nothing, some come up with random rubbish but a couple have had startling revelations.

However, even the startling revelations have been somewhat random.

Interesting you should say that...years ago, I won a communication in a charity raffle and thought, do you know what, let's have a go.

The things the person said about my horses were very interesting...very random, including really wanting to try watermelon!
But, rather spookily, my gelding said something about being my special boy, but he like sharing me with my other special boy, Tonto. Tonto was my very first dog. The apple of my eye who died years and years before the advent of social media. It gave me goosebumps, that's for sure.

 

[Barton Bounty]

I know a medium who talks to horses, I have never had her out but other girls have and it was good

 

[Caol Ila]

Fin could sure tell some stories, and Hermosa could explain what she was doing with her half brother.

in a moment of desperation/weakness, I had a communicator 'speak' to Gypsum. She got a lot of things flat-out wrong and what wasn't wrong was ambigious enough to be applicable to many horses. She said Gypsum had evented (she had not). She said the horse in the opposite stable reminded her of her mother (doubtful...mum was a bay TB; this was a grey Connie). She said she'd had a foal (she definitely had not). She said she'd been ridden by a young boy who she'd been very attached to (unlikely...her previous owner, a mid-40s woman, bought her direct from the breeder as a 2yo and did not even have kids).

However, I know of other people who have had uncanny experiences with horse psychics. I have always fancied doing an experiment where I would, first of all, ask a few of them the same questions about the same horse and see how much variation occurred in their answers. Then secondly, I would ask a few questions I already knew the answers to, i.e. what does Fin remember about being a young horse? If the answer in any way involved a bond with or training from humans, then imagine the QI 'wrong' buzzer noise!

The trouble is that unless someone funded you for it, or animal communicators agreed to participate for free, it would be expensive research because they charge a fair chunk of change.

 

[Pippity]

Blue's history is entirely unknown. She was imported from Ireland as a 5yo, passed around dealers, and I got her rising 6. I would LOVE to know more about her past. She was terrified of sheep when I got her, but cows were fine. Dogs are her bezzie mates, even after being attacked by one. Doesn't care about any traffic, but nearly fell over with terror when she saw a manhole cover. I'd love to know more about where she came from, what she's done, whether she's had the foal that the vet and I suspect she has, etc.

 

[little_critter]

I can imagine both of mine's thoughts...

Grass.... grass.... that grass looks nice.... grass.... where is she to give me my tea?

Although, people think (generally) that I am quite sensible, but I have had a few communicators. Some have done nothing, some come up with random rubbish but a couple have had startling revelations.

However, even the startling revelations have been somewhat random.

That’s funny, I had a communicator talk to my boy and she sent me her report. Apparently you start the conversation with an unimportant question like “do you prefer apples or carrots?”
My boy kept trying to steer the conversation back you food like “….so those carrots you mentioned?”
It was interesting to read and I think it hit on some things.

 

[Birker2020]

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Blame Black Beauty. And yes, this is blatant anthropomorphism.

I know this comes up often in terms of "if only he could tell me where it hurts or what's upsetting him", but does anyone else wish they could just sit down and have a chat with their horse about their life? Whether there were particular horses or people they really cared for in the past, what they've thought of the things the two of you have done together, and what they've seen and experienced in general? For example, there was a horse at Brecon yesterday who'd apparently raced at Hong Kong - he's clearly lived a far more varied life than most people, and yet all any human will ever know about that is bits and pieces. You just have to wonder what was going on in his head.

My own gelding has lived in places I may never see, had experiences that I may never have, and, given that we know horses have pretty good memories, I just wish I could ask him about it. But also be able to tell him what I know about what the horses he grew up with are doing now, and what the future holds for him.

I agree. But i think you can also run the risk of humanising them too much too. Especially when you compare them to the Black Beauty scenario.

I felt sorry for Lari when i had him. He'd suck or mouth things like a baby and had learnt to stick his tongue out when unsure of things or worried. I felt like mothering him because I felt like he'd been pushed into work too young and not allowed to have fun as a youngster. So i felt sorry for him, which is never a good thing with animals as its easy to run the risk of spoiling them.

So he's probably been allowed to run rings round me to a certain extent. He's not spoilt by any means but i suspect if he could talk to me he'd be saying "thanks for the lovely long holiday and the varied menu of spinach carotts and apples in my tea. I never got that when i was in my competition home"

 

[Alwaysmoretoknow]

Ginger: ‘Thank God you’re here – there’s a huge, dangerous thing in my water – it’s a moose!’
Me: ‘I doubt that very much – moose are enormous and live in Canada.’
Ginger: ‘It IS enormous and it’s swimming in my drinker! I asked the horse next door and he said it’s a moose. Do something quickly before it eats me!’
Me: ‘The horse next door is German – I expect he said mouse with an accent.’
Ginger: ‘Argh – get it out, get it out, mooses are really dangerous!’
Me: ‘You are a perfect fool – look it’s a mouse.’
Ginger: ‘Argh!’
Me: ‘Ok – gone now. Stop hiding in the corner and come and put your boots on so we can do some work.’
Ginger: ‘Can’t. Traumatised.’
Me; 'God, I can't believe I pay to keep you.'

 

[Caol Ila]

Ginger: ‘Thank God you’re here – there’s a huge, dangerous thing in my water – it’s a moose!’
Me: ‘I doubt that very much – moose are enormous and live in Canada.’
Ginger: ‘It IS enormous and it’s swimming in my drinker! I asked the horse next door and he said it’s a moose. Do something quickly before it eats me!’
Me: ‘The horse next door is German – I expect he said mouse with an accent.’
Ginger: ‘Argh – get it out, get it out, mooses are really dangerous!’
Me: ‘You are a perfect fool – look it’s a mouse.’
Ginger: ‘Argh!’
Me: ‘Ok – gone now. Stop hiding in the corner and come and put your boots on so we can do some work.’
Ginger: ‘Can’t. Traumatised.’
Me; 'God, I can't believe I pay to keep you.'

I’ve had the opposite sort of conversation.

Me, hiding in the corner of the stable from a crane fly on the wall: Yikes, help it’s a crane fly.
Horse: You idiot. It’s a harmless bug. Get me my dinner.
Me: But it’s creepy.
Horse: You don’t get to criticise me next time I spook at a plastic bag. Just saying.

 

[SEL]

The Appy would need a couch and therapist - she'd have more to say about her early life than prince harry. A vet once talked about getting her into the Priory for weight loss and although I do know there is a rehab centre for horses called that, for one minute I had visions of her amongst the celebs, hoof on brow, telling them her blubber wasn't her fault (whilst sneaking in Domino pizza).

Baby cob would be all about the food and how the gate to the rested paddock needs opening. You know annoying children who won't stop saying muuuuum, muuuuum until you give in? That's him.

Microcob has had half her voice box removed but she's the one I know the least about. I suspect she'd tell me she just wants more babies.

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

The Shetlands today were all very talkative and wanted to speak to each other even though they had never met before. I do wonder what their conversations would be like. My chestnut mare and the black mare in the class were desperate to chat.

 

[Boulty]

I do not wish to have any opinions voiced to me from an ill mannered Scottish oik whose mission in life seems generally to do as little work as possible! I foresee topics such as turning the electric fence off, giving him access to the grass in the track middle, hacks being replaced by picnics and an end to schooling & tbh all physical activity in general. I’m pretty sure he’d also declare his undying love for his best gelding mate and announce that from now on he is self identifying as a dog and expects to be treated as such.

 

[Peglo]

I would love to know if my wee Italian is happy in northern Scotland compared to the hills of Italy. She seems happy. But I dare say all I’d get is ‘do you have any treats for me? Treats please! I’ll have a treat and a scratch.’ (But in Italian so I would have no idea what she’s saying.)

 

[Lexi 123]

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

Years and years ago we had one of these horse psychics talk to my dartmoor as he had been sent home from his lvtb home as unridable yet when he left here he was the easiest, pechiest ride you could ever wish for. She knew nothing other than that his name was Freebie. Most of what she said was utter nonsense. And the best bit came when she said he wanted a red bucket not a blue one and he wanted to be called Free not Freebie. He has never had a blue bucket in his life, black rubber skips are the order of the day here.

A different one spoke to Flint and she said that he told her that he gets visited by a ghost of an old man every so often. He liked the old man and associated him with tartan, red hair and a big fancy country house. That one was a bit weird as a few years before Flint has won the Ridden championship at Kinross show - in front of Kinross House being ridden by a lass with red hair and he got a tartan sash for winning. Even creepier was that the judge that day was an older gentleman who had indeed died the following year.

 

[stangs]

Let's face it, most horses would prefer to stay out grazing with their friends than they would go riding. If they could say 'oh, please don't make me go' then we would never get to ride!

But they already express that with their body language. If anything, it'd be an improvement because you could tell them that it's just for an hour and then you'll leave them be for the rest of the day.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

I would love to know if Dolly is happy in her retirement. Sometimes she seems a bit low mentally rather than physically, but that may be a hangover from her Lymes according to my vet. She can be quite an aloof sort of mare a lot of the time, but lately she is very much in my face and resting her chin on my shoulder and just breathing quietly into my year. I feel quite sad and depressed sometimes about certain things that have happened in my recent life and I am sure she picks up on that. On those days she is particularly polite and affectionate even if food isn't involved lol! On the better days when I am more cheerful and upbeat she reverts back to her usual stroppy and demanding self and seems quite relieved she doesn't have to pussy foot around me in case I start crying or something equally tedious for her to deal with.

I know for certain she is far and away happier living with me than her previous homes, she was really quite switched off when she arrived, and when I went to try her. I don't think anyone had been cruel to her or anything dramatic happened to her, but she was a hunt hireling and I think had not had the benefit of one to one with anyone for all of her 10 years before she came to me. She is definitely a one person horse, although she does give my son a close second on the list now as he has looked after her as much as I have this past year or so. He was delighted when she first bothered to whicker at him when he appeared with her food!

 

[Mrs G]

I fear the basis of any conversation between my boy and me would be him telling me I’m sooo annoying, always hanging around and faffing with him! I would like to explain why his ‘Dad’ and favourite human suddenly disappeared though (my late husband).