If someone you knew

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I think it is hugely subjective too, I am at around 14-14.5 stone and not proud of it. I was unsure whether I would feel comfortable asking my horse to go up the hills to get onto the Downs with me at this weight. He is a 19hh Warmblood, so many said I was being silly, neglecting to consider that he is still in the process of building muscle and getting stronger. RI has said it's more than fine so I feel better but will endeavor to lose a 2-4 of stone at least.

It's the same with a fat horse, I have heard a lot of people say oh 'x' cob is built like a barge, it can carry a heavy rider when IMO it can carry less of a rider as it is already >50kg overweight. It doesn't matter what you say people will always have something to say to ok their weight, or as an excuse.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Gosh what a minefield, unless a clear case of abuse of the horse/pony she is riding I don't think I would feel it was my business to comment.

However if it is a friend (a very good friend) I would perhaps go along the lines of something like...you feel you would like to be a tad lighter to ride your own horse more affectively, does she want to join you in a mutual support to both get fittter (i.e thinner!) to enjoy your riding, improve your horse's way of going and just feel better in general. Be aware though she might be very worried herself about her weight, so go gently if you can.

As someone who has managed to increase my weight by 1.5 stone since an accident stopped me riding or doing anything active at all in the past 10 months or so, I am very embarrassed and conscious of the extra pounds. And very worried when I am able to ride again and get my horse back from his enforced holiday by the sea I will look like a great lump of unhealthy lard sitting on him. but he is 17.3 and chunky with it, my family laugh when I suggest I might now be too big for him but it doesnt stop me worrying about what that extra 1.5 stone will do to his back.

 

[Equine_Dream]

too heavy because too fat or just a big person? if too fat jsut say so "you are too fat to ride this horse/pony you need to loose 4 stone "or whatever . if too big just say you are too big you need a bigger horse/pony. tell it straight dont pussy foot around. its better in the long run. if they dont like it well tough people are too namby pamby these days.

Charming ?

I don't understand why anyone would feel it was their place to say anything. Unless they wanted to ride one of my horses, I'd mind my own business

 

[IrishMilo]

I don't understand why anyone would feel it was their place to say anything. Unless they wanted to ride one of my horses, I'd mind my own business

Because sometimes it's a welfare issue. One hell of a difficult subject to broach though.

 

[Equine_Dream]

Because sometimes it's a welfare issue. One hell of a difficult subject to broach though.

I understand that but presumably vets/trainers/yard owners/whomever sold the person the pony have not brought the subject up, and if they had this person has clearly not listened to them, so what makes you think they'll listen to another random livery?

 

[IrishMilo]

I understand that but presumably vets/trainers/yard owners/whomever sold the person the pony have not brought the subject up, and if they had this person has clearly not listened to them, so what makes you think they'll listen to another random livery?

Not all trainers/vets would say something, especially as they have to consider ramifications like losing business.

 

[Petalpoos]

It is difficult I know, but it can have consequences. I let someone ride my haffie, and I thought they were probably too big, but hey, sturdy pony, it will be alright. It wasn't OK and she went down on her knees on the road. Weight may not have been the cause of the fall, but she never did it before or since, so never again.

 

[SEL]

oh this is hard! I'm watching someone who has piled on the pounds during lockdown get on their horse with their backside over the saddle and refusing to get involved I have mentioned the need to keep my own weight down because of a vet instructed weight limit on one of mine but they just nodded wisely and made no comment at all on their own weight - so I wimped out and ran away!

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

I’m quite blunt but tbh going at it like that just makes you sound like a knob.

Was thinking the same actually. I’m a straight shooter and I’d expect a fistful of fives for that and deserve it.

 

[Equine_Dream]

Not all trainers/vets would say something, especially as they have to consider ramifications like losing business.

Even when it's a "welfare issue"?.....surely if it was THAT serious a concern for the welfare of the horse a professional of all people would be the first to speak up.
If a vet/trainer/YO have not thought it a serious enough issue to speak up I don't see why it's more a fellow livery's (assuming it is on a yard) place to say something.
Don't get me wrong I do think its important we keep our weight in check for our horses sake. I lost 2 stone previously because I felt I was too heavy for my tank of a Welsh pony. In reality he could have still carried me at my heaviest as I was no where near too heavy for him even then, but I was of the view that just because he could carry didn't necessarily mean he should.
So I appreciate the impact a riders weight can have. But that doesn't mean I would deem it my place to tell someone they were too heavy for their own horse. If they wanted to ride one of mine that's a different story, but what they choose to do with their horse is none of my business.

 

[ester]

I think it's trickier because it is a new horse.
I have had it mentioned to me on one occasion (by instructor) and that was fine as they then knew I was aware and doing something about it.

It is also possible that they are intending to lose weight/if DIYing that might happen anyway. So I would be treading carefully.

 

[Wishfilly]

Even when it's a "welfare issue"?.....surely if it was THAT serious a concern for the welfare of the horse a professional of all people would be the first to speak up.
If a vet/trainer/YO have not thought it a serious enough issue to speak up I don't see why it's more a fellow livery's (assuming it is on a yard) place to say something.
Don't get me wrong I do think its important we keep our weight in check for our horses sake. I lost 2 stone previously because I felt I was too heavy for my tank of a Welsh pony. In reality he could have still carried me at my heaviest as I was no where near too heavy for him even then, but I was of the view that just because he could carry didn't necessarily mean he should.
So I appreciate the impact a riders weight can have. But that doesn't mean I would deem it my place to tell someone they were too heavy for their own horse. If they wanted to ride one of mine that's a different story, but what they choose to do with their horse is none of my business.

Not everyone sees an instructor/trainer regularly- especially during lockdown. The vet may not yet have seen the horse/owner together, and may not until jabs need doing or there is another reason to come out. Some YOs aren't horsey- mine wouldn't get involved in an issue like this, for example.

I agree it's a really tricky issue, but if it's a proper welfare issue, I think waiting for a professional to mention something might mean waiting too long.

Not that I have any idea how I'd bring this up, though!

 

[HollyWoozle]

I agree that it is a very difficult subject to bring up as others have said and I think, in all honesty, it's better to keep quiet (unless you are the vet or instructor). I do agree with steering people in the right direction and giving an opinion as much as you can without being rude, ie. "wouldn't you prefer something a bit bigger?" for people looking to buy horses too small, that sort of thing, but it's also very subjective.

 

[WelshD]

No I wouldn’t say.

as someone who is the wrong side of 20 stone I think people tend to understand their weight if they are on the least bit on the tubby side but many are blind to that when it comes to riding and choice of mount.

it’s not worth the battle as they will inevitably trot out the 15% / 25% / 75% rule depending on what bit of crap they’ve read that week or day they ‘need’ to ride for their health/mental health.

 

[Equine_Dream]

Not everyone sees an instructor/trainer regularly- especially during lockdown. The vet may not yet have seen the horse/owner together, and may not until jabs need doing or there is another reason to come out. Some YOs aren't horsey- mine wouldn't get involved in an issue like this, for example.

I agree it's a really tricky issue, but if it's a proper welfare issue, I think waiting for a professional to mention something might mean waiting too long.

Not that I have any idea how I'd bring this up, though!

Fair point but that's a lot of "if buts and maybes".

Each to their own but it's not something I would make it my business to get involved in.

 

[Wishfilly]

Fair point but that's a lot of "if buts and maybes".

Each to their own but it's not something I would make it my business to get involved in.

True, but I'm just making the point that in some cases, waiting for a professional to step in could result in a long wait!

 

[Gingerwitch]

Maybe she has multiple layers on so is not really fat?

 

[Tiddlypom]

Maybe she has multiple layers on so is not really fat?

That’s what I’m trying to kid myself with about my excess lockdown weight .

 

[Brimmers]

Honestly I would just stay well clear. People who are completely ignorant of how much they weigh and the welfare of the horse underneath them will completely ignore someone else's opinion being thrust on them.

If theyve asked for an opinion in whether they are too heavy then it's different, but still approach with caution!

Fact is, people are getting fatter as a whole. So what used to be fat, is the new chunky. What used to be chunky, is the new normal. Peoples views of themselves are skewed. And I say this all as someone who works hard at keeping their weight down (as am 5'11) for the welfare of any horse they ride.

 

[daffy44]

Its so difficult, and I am so grateful that as an instructor I have never had a client where I felt I have had to say something for the horse's welfare. I have had clients ask me if they need to be lighter, and every time I have been able to answer honestly that their weight is fine, but their fitness could be improved, and whenever I have said this it has been taken very well by the client.

I did have one client who I was thought was borderline, but fortunately her friend is also a longstanding client of mine, so I said something to the friend, and she told me that the larger lady was very aware of her weight and was already doing things to address it, so I was very relieved! Firstly that I didnt need to have the conversation, and also for the horses health, and it became visible over the following weeks that the lady was working hard on herself and becoming a much better size for her horse.

But its really hard, and unless it was a really good friend, or a real welfare issue I'd stay out of it.

 

[skint1]

When I was searching for my horse I had a (tiny) lady at my yard keep showing me adverts from a dealer that she knew but then say "oh prob not up to your weight" Worse still, she knew of an absolutely perfect horse for me that a friend of hers had except that it wouldn't carry my weight.... Worse still, I was in the tack room next to hers and unfortunately when she didn't realise I was there I heard her say that someone my weight shouldn't ride at all and she didn't know why I was even trying to find a horse.

She may have been right, I've since lost quite a lot, and I wasn't riding then as my horse was retired, and I am still not riding now... but I hadn't asked for her help finding a horse, she offered, and part of that meant I had to divulge my weight to her, which wasn't vast, I didn't need a hoist to mount or anything, but to a petite lady it probably did seem a lot. I felt it was a bit hurtful and possibly mean to "find" horses to a show a person, also know of a "perfect" horse for them just so that you can then say "oh, but so sad, you're too fat for it" and then be laughing about them behind their back. It would have been better if she'd just told me her concerns directly and not tried to find horses for me.

So OP, I guess if you feel you must say something to her, do it sensitively and if you find it's a talking point at the yard, and why wouldn't it be as it seems such a popular topic any time it comes up here, try and make sure she's not in earshot when you're all expressing your concerns about her weight and the horse she is riding if you've not made her aware of those concerns.

 

[Lady2021]

Probably not because I won’t want to start a fight.