If you were a horse, how would you be described in a sales ad?

15.2hh middleweight mare. Very good doer with excellent manners and a good education although selling as hasn't quite lived up to competition expectations despite being a trier. Has been known to enjoy mud and long distance rides but looking for a quieter life. Would excel at showing due to having a cooks arse and a ladies' face.
 
Chestnut mare - 4 white socks. Do not try anything trendy on me (and leave any ropes well alone) Born to hunt, and galloping is my forte. Might do other stuff if it suits.....
 
This temperamental but hardworking mare is offered for sale thru full fault of her own. Having had a successful and varied career in several disaplines and bred 2 cracking foals she is now ready to continue her career. She requires expert handling as she can snap and kick but treat her right and you'll get a cracking ride out of her... No time wasters or joyriders need apply.
 
17.2hh bay MW mare. Occasionally goes lame but will try her hardest regardless. Special needs foal at foot. Refuses to be covered by another stallion, prefer the company of geldings ;)
Definate temperament issues so needs careful and sensitive handling. Not a novice ride. Good for dentist and vet but can be fussy with the farrier. Can be a pain in the arse to catch but once caught is easy going, will put in a cheeky nip or kick if you overstepp the mark :D
 
Great thread.

Palomino cob mare 13hh. Very, very good doer. Willing to try all PC activities but not athletic enough for PC teams. Intelligent and generally steady. Good with vet and dentist but poor traveller and hard to shoe.
 
Dark bay mare, sensible but gets bored easily. In foal with filly at foot although broken to ride. Has shown, but could do with further schooling as a bit green -may do dressage. Loves hacking.

Just realised how much this sounds like my mare (apart from the bay bit and being in foal) - maybe we are well suited after all!
 
15hh dun mare .. As stubborn as they come, naps and is very spooky! She will try her heart out for you on her terms only. Lame in offside shoulder if in anything more than light hacking, also has neurological problems and can loose balance completely at times so suspected wobblers but unfortunately the vet cannot get near enough to give a full diagnosis! Bad with vet, farrierand to load. Fussy eater

Free to any home!
 
15HH Irish Grayed out HW Cob mare, aged with occasional unsoundness but suitable as a light hack. Very good doer. Good in traffic, with farrier, vet, loading etc. Can be difficult to catch and very, very stubborn. Needs specialist shoeing. For permanent loan (afraid to sell in case she ends up on a lorry to Europe within the week! :D)
 
Solid cob, works hard but doesn't suffer fools. Lives on fresh air and likes the odd hoon up a stubble field.

Funny there don't seem to be any geldings on this thread ;)

(Edited to correct all the flipping predictive text)
 
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Evil nasty 19hh fire breathing monster, won't do anything useful and costs a fortune to keep

(NB. None of this is true but my boy thinks he's in heaven at the moment as he's still off work after me having had a baby so he definitely wouldn't want to be sold as he might have to actually do some work!!)
 
Mothers dream, 15.2 dark bay cob. Excellent with children and novices, will look after them all day. Not a ride for experienced or bossy riders as she does not appreciate being told what to do however when asked politely will try her heart out.
Very good doer, kept in a starvy paddock year round but seems to live on fresh air!
 
14.2 aged mare with long mane, intermittently lame on off hind, extremely good doer, very spooky jumping but excellent on the road both alone and in company. Lives in or out but does need restricted grazing due to weight issues. Throws interesting shapes in dressage to music. Would suit wealthy gentleman weekend rider and comes with extensive wardrobe. Not good with children.
 
Some of these are brilliant!

13.2 palamino show pony, a sensitive forward going ride who can be spooky at times. Good to hack out, will go first or last but prefers company. Will pop a course of small jumps and do a basic dressage test but needs more schooling to improve. Needs lots to keep her occupied or she will make her own entertainment. Loves to be groomed and pampered. Comes with an extensive wardrobe.
 
Plain bay TBx (poor doer, Probably not in the advert, but Id be the type difficult to keep weight on)
can be lazy, and a bit of a grumpy mare (pulling faces mainly) Can be spooky
Enjoys all disciplines at low level, will try hardest to please.
:D
 
Dun Shetland mare, hates dressage but likes jumping, lazy and opinionated, very sensitive to the cold and rain so likes to have good shelter, can be anti social with other horses, unfit so needs work!
 
15:2 fine mare of unknown breeding.
Safe and sensible in all types hacking, doesn't like jumping but would excel at distance rides, dressage. Easy to do in every way doesn't mind hot or cold weather, tho can be a bit of a poor doer due to small appetite.
Would live out if had the right shelter.
 
Add to mine:

Very prone to mareish episodes and is reactive if disagreeing with what is happening, intelligent so likes a variety of tasks!
 
16.2 black mare, breeding unknown, needs experienced home as can be a handful doesnt kick or bite (much).
Grumpy in the mornings and evenings, can be caught in a good mood around noon! Very opinionated and will let you know if you are doing it wrong.

Enjoys dressage and jumping but thinks XC is too much like hard work. Hacks alone (if in the mood) and in company.

Requires daily pampering sessions, 5* food and climate controlled stabling, will not live out 24/7 as doesnt like to sleep outside.

*on second thoughts just stick her in a hotel:D
 
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15hh TB typical chestnut mare project horse. Suffers from sunburn and eats and sleeps a lot. Young green and naive, prefers to be in company. Skittish or lazy without warning. Loves to jump but not keen on loud noises or insects and doesnt travel well. Patient home required, preferably rich attractive farmer
 
12.2 hand bay section B 6 year old mare. Will have a go at most things but mostly good at teaching children. Highly strung and extremely feed aggressive. Not good as a companion as doesn't like other horses and needs to be kept out of the cold.:D
 
16.2hh bay british sports mare. good to hack alone and in company, but prefers to be in lead. enjoys jumping, hunting, team chase. Had been known to kick. not suitable for novices due to spirited temperament. Prefers a gentleman rider. .;-)
 
16.2hh dark bay, skinny TB, can be highly strung at times but once her blood is up will try her hardest, very loyal and loving :D
 
Ardennes. Aged. Can be mare-ish. Needs slowly bringing back into work. Can live on fresh air but is bl00dy grumpy if made to do so.
 
Aged cobby type mare, more than happy to spend all day out hacking just don't expect the same enthusiasm schooling. Was bright bay now going a little grey. Likes the company of other animals but can do without humans quite happily.:D
 
aged grey TBX broodmare (was chestnut), bred 2 fillies by different stallions, both showing more talent than dam. Sound on a good day but always a willing forward ride and despite a late start is starting to show some latent talent for dressage. Needs an experienced rider to bring out her best as can be argumentative. Price is negotiable but a five star home is essential.
 
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