Ill health affecting riding ability

[LynH]

I know there are no simple answers to my problem or even what I expect to get from this post but I am so frustrated and hoping someone may have been in a similar situation or trained someone like me and have some words of wisdom or just tell me to suck it up.

I have long term problems with my lungs and nerve damage around my ribs so am in constant quite severe pain. I also get chest infections/pneumonia and sinus migraines which are quite debilitating energy wise. I've had this for 11yrs with no real chance of things changing but I'm always optimistic that it will and always pushing myself possibly in the wrong ways to move forward. I'm having a particularly nasty nerve block procedure between my all ribs on Sunday in the hope it will give me some pain relief.

I have two horses who both used to do BD but only to novice/elementary before I became too ill to ride regularly and compete. One did have the ability to go med poss AM but with so many years in and out of work plus other issues this is no longer possible. The other horse, a TB, is retired/coming out of retirement. I haven't competed at all for three years but I constantly scan the BD schedules and plan how next summer I'll be back at it or look for a competition a couple of months away as a goal. I can pretty much tell you off the top of my head all the dressage events at my local comp centres for the next 6 months. I'd have thought after all this time I'd stop doing it but I can't. I'm not aiming too high, just to go out and do a prelim or novice test would make me so happy but even that is too much.

Over the summer I rode more regularly (3-4times a week) and was managing short schooling sessions but as soon as the weather changed it all fell apart. I hadn't ridden for 7 wks until last weekend and then mainly because she is so easy I got my retired horse in and rode her for 5 mins. I did 10 mins yesterday on her but still don't have the energy to ride my bigger stronger horse. I also ended up unable to move for hours afterwards as every breath hurt. I hate that my body doesn't work how I want, the rib pain is often so bad I cannot half halt and other times I can manage ok. I don't know until I am on how much strength I will have. I feel so frustrated that I know I can (or rather could) ride so much better but my pain levels and lack of fitness make me feel like a novice. My reactions are also slow due to huge amounts of opiate pain relief so for now I need to be riding something safe.

I'm very lucky that both horses can handle time off without being silly or dangerous when I get back on and they really suit my current situation but I don't like my current situation and I need to find a way to get past it. My main riding horse is an ID mare, lovely nature but spooky (that hurts) but she is 16.3 and quite long and not the most forward thinking so she's hard to get working from behind and to keep together. In the past I've enjoyed her most when I have longer periods of relative wellness and then prefer the enthusiasm of the TB when I am weaker although the bounce of the TB is quite painful. Neither horse will be going anywhere as I've had them for 14yrs+ and I do have help to keep them going but I dream of finding a horse that would be easier for me to ride and possibly get back out competing on. I'd love a nice young WB that has tons of ability but am realistic enough to know this is neither practical nor safe but I'm not really sure what I do need or if I should just forget about dressage and just focus on pottering around on my older horses feeling like an oldie myself. We moved to have the horses at home as driving was a problem and have built some lovely stables and an arena. These are currently torturing me as I can't use them but it makes my life so much easier having the horses at home, I can go inside and collapse or rest when needed.

I guess my biggest problem is admitting that the things I enjoy most, schooling and dressage, are beyond my reach and that I should content myself with a hack round the block. How do you ignore your dreams and accept that competing, training and having the riding ability that you used to have and still want are no longer a reality? Are there other options I should be considering?

 

[Exploding Chestnuts]

Is it possible to find a rider and you can be the trainer/groom?

 

[soulfull]

I really feel for you. I'm not as poorly as you but do suffer constant pain and weakness from rhuematoid arthritis

I had a big WB he was such hard work and movement too big for me

I've just bought a wonderful welsh cob who is so forward and light it's given me the option to start competing again

I guess for you it's whether you can afford or look after another horse

First I would try and find one you can ride that has less movement to hurt and that is nice and forward so you don't use too much energy getting them forward. I know it makes a massive difference! Then by trying one on a regular basis you would know if you could cope

 

[Gamebird]

Is it possible to find a rider and you can be the trainer/groom?

This. I know it's not what you want to hear but it may give you more pleasure than you think.

I used to ride a horse for a lady in a similar situation (though her health was better than yours) who had a combination of a young horse who was really too much for her and various injuries which made anything more than hacking quite difficult for her. She was previously very competitive and was herself surprised by how much she enjoyed being the owner/trainer/groom. The horse lived with her and I rode it 3 or 4 times a week and occasionally hacked out with her to accompany her. She probably only rode once a week in all. She loved scouring the internet and entering competitions for me, loved turning the horse out perfectly and taking it to competitions, loved still being part of the 'scene', loved standing at the side of the warm-up arena and pointing out how well her horse was performing to her friends. She was in control of all aspects of the situation, I literally just turned up when I was told and schooled the horse or competed it and she got a lot of pleasure from seeing it progress.

 

[LynH]

Thanks. I have had others ride the horses for me in the past to keep them fit but stopped as it actually made it harder for me to ride afterwards. I've tried again recently with my ID mare and have a lovely girl riding her but I'm ok about her hacking Breagh but I struggle when they are in the school. I don't like watching them at home as I'm desperate to do it myself but I am pleased that she is doing something with her. A few years ago I had someone compete B for me just once and I was upset for days afterwards. Maybe if/when I can't ride at all I could do that or let her take B jumping which I have no interest in but atm I can't even watch my friends competing their own horses. I have to skim through FB as it's too hard seeing how everyone is moving on, having fun and I'm hardly able to do anything.

Soulfull, I've just started riding my TB again after retiring her in January. She's so easy to ride, if a bit too bouncy, so if I can manage to build up a bit on her then trying some other horses to see how I get on could be a good next step. My horses live out with access to their stables so relatively low maintenance and I have freelance help and good friends around when needed. I would look at either replacing my older mare when the time comes or returning their companion pony so I only ever have 3 and then 2 in the future.

I know it seems insane having two horses and the pony when I'm ill so often but without them there really wouldn't be any reason to get out of bed and any physical activity I do is good for my lungs if not for my pain levels.

 

[meardsall_millie]

To take a slightly different approach (and I have no idea if this is possible) is there anyway you could get Para dispensation from BD? Then you may be able to have others assist with the homework and warm up for you at competitions, just leaving yourself the few minutes of actual test riding?

 

[TarrSteps]

In the spirit of full disclosure, I know the OP quite well and I'm sure she doesn't want to hear any more from me on the subject.

But to the larger question, I think this is a situation lots of people struggle with, if not because of illness or injury, then simply for reasons of increasing age and split responsibilities. I think most people hit a level where they realise they're not going to significantly progress in their riding, not because they won't continue to learn and improve, but because their circumstances prevent them from investing the time/energy/money in taking the next big step up. This is just as true for professionals as amateurs. Some people are in a position to make big changes in their lives to support their riding but, realistically, most of us are not.

This is quite depressing!

Moving horses home is a classic example. It's almost a cliche that people move their horses home and then have less time to ride! Although the OP in this case has beeeeautiful facilities.

 

[LynH]

To take a slightly different approach (and I have no idea if this is possible) is there anyway you could get Para dispensation from BD? Then you may be able to have others assist with the homework and warm up for you at competitions, just leaving yourself the few minutes of actual test riding?

I doubt I could get any dispensation as I have already been refused permission for a therapeutic use exemption as my medications are banned substances. As I often have very visible IV lines for medication I decided it was best to apply for a therapeutic use exemption. I was turned down as there was a permitted drug more appropriate for my condition unfortunately this drug is the one I am severely/potentially fatally allergic to and it caused all the damage to my lungs and nerves in the first place. I know plenty of people who although very careful about what their horses are given take banned drugs for everyday conditions such as asthma or heart palpitations so I guess the normal approach is not to apply for an exemption but to plead therapeutic use if caught.

Unfortunately in our sport as well as many other areas of life, there is considerable help and support for disabled people but none for those with life limiting illnesses.

 

[LynH]

In the spirit of full disclosure, I know the OP quite well and I'm sure she doesn't want to hear any more from me on the subject.

But to the larger question, I think this is a situation lots of people struggle with, if not because of illness or injury, then simply for reasons of increasing age and split responsibilities. I think most people hit a level where they realise they're not going to significantly progress in their riding, not because they won't continue to learn and improve, but because their circumstances prevent them from investing the time/energy/money in taking the next big step up. This is just as true for professionals as amateurs. Some people are in a position to make big changes in their lives to support their riding but, realistically, most of us are not.

This is quite depressing!

Moving horses home is a classic example. It's almost a cliche that people move their horses home and then have less time to ride! Although the OP in this case has beeeeautiful facilities.

Increasing age is another reason I put myself under pressure to do more. After losing 11 years to this illness already I'm very aware that the normal ageing process may be more rapid in my case. People with deteriorating conditions like arthritis must have similar feelings, that you need to cram as much in now before you get any worse. Another reason for hankering after a horse with lots of ability is that if I don't so it soon I'll be too old to do it at all.

I'm very fortunate in many ways, I had an income protection policy so I have an income even after 4.5 yrs on sick leave. People plan ahead to have a safety net in case their horse gets ill but rarely think of the consequences of their own ill health on their horses or their family. I also have very good facilities at home which were planned with my condition in mind and I have very good friends, like Tarrsteps, who not only support me in terms of enabling me to ride and keep my horses but also by talking sense into me when it's needed. There is a definite skill in being able to stop or advise someone from doing something they are desperate to do which isn't in their best interests without making them feel totally useless.

I guess at some point accepting that you no longer have the ability you used to comes to us all, I just don't have a family (kids), any non-horsey friends or a job to distract me and I really don't want to spend my days knitting ;0)

 

[finngle]

I think you can do anything if you are determined enough and I can see your love of riding is stopping you from being an owner. I would be the same if it were me.
I think the best course of action is to think positive even if you just get on to walk its still time in the saddle, focus on the pleasure side and then in the summer months consider competition... Maybe if there is someone you trust they can warm up for you so you arent tired before you go in the ring. Even if theres someone that can help you tack up/muck out thats energy saved you could use in the saddle.
I have no idea how hard it must be for you, my mum had to give up riding and she needs a wheelchair for going shopping etc. however I do know positive thinking helps; dont beat yourself up for what you cant do and enjoy what you can do,
I do hope you manage to get out riding and wish you the best of luck in making it to a competition, no matter how small its still a step forward

 

[finngle]

Stoppinh you from being JUST an owner os what I meant in previous post... Oops!

 

[TarrSteps]

Unfortunately, I would disagree that wanting something badly enough is enough to make it happen, especially where matters of health are concerned. I don't think it's the worst thing to accept that there are simply limitations in this world. I would love to run a yard (some days ) but there are limitations in my life that preclude this right now, not least because it would spectacularly inconvenience other people in my life. This is part of the struggle - being single minded (aka selfish) is actually very easy. It's balancing all those competing demands and limitations that make life so difficult

 

[soulfull]

Like I said I am in a similar position. I too was fortunate to have long term critical illness insurance
I too feel I have to cram as much into my life as possible before age and my RA mean I can't do the things I want

I too bought a posh WB. However he was my mistake!!

Although very laid back and non spooky. He was physically hard work. So lazy and had a really occasional party trick of pressing the eject button as soon as I got on
equally I would have struggled with a big forward WB

I sold him and have bought an awesome welsh cob who in all honesty will take me further in dressage than he would have, just because he was so difficult to get forward
But also I can show her. I have plans to do sj and xc because she is so easy and well behaved

If I were you I would look for something you immediately feel safe on and that is forward and light
I can't tell you how much fun I am having now. More than I have had in many years that's for sure!!

 

[Jesstickle]

I would love to be an owner. And by owner I don't mean have someone ride my horse occasionally I mean, buy a nice horse, have it kept at livery and just be involved in deciding which shows etc and then watch it compete and win. It sounds wonderful to me. I would keep myself something to hack about on/hunt but if I could afford it I would love to be able to keep a nice horse with someone who can really ride. I am not poorly or old but I can't ride for toffee and it would be a way to be involved with a higher level of competition than I could ever hope to ride at. Would you really not enjoy that?

I do hope you find a solution, you sound very stoical about what is clearly a horrible illness so you deserve a break quite frankly

 

[MS123]

I do hope you find a solution, you sound very stoical about what is clearly a horrible illness so you deserve a break quite frankly

Completely agree! I have nothing useful to say other than I wish you all the best. I take my hat off to you for being so positive and really hope things work out for you.

 

[finngle]

"Unfortunately, I would disagree that wanting something badly enough is enough to make it happen"

No but positive thinking can certainly help you on your way. Theres plenty of miraculous people doing what they want to do despite being told to stay at home.

I was merely offering support to the OP and I admire her attitude. If she wants to ride who are we to say to her "why not ride and just be groom/owner" certainly its a good idea but she has said she wouldnt want that,
If we cant think of ways to cope surely we should be lending words of encouragement

 

[pippixox]

it seems a real shame you can't get help that other disabilities do just because of drugs you need to take! they are not exactly enhancing your performance to above a 'normal' person, no lance armstrong effect i'm sure (sadly for you).
i agree with 'soulfull': find a horse, or pony, who is better suited- that is comfortable and doesn't require as much energy. even if they are never going to be an amazing dressage horse, but good enough to compete when you can.
all the best

 

[LynH]

finngle - Tarrsteps has seen the effects of me trying to do too much when I'm full of determination and realistically I'm never going to be able to do what I want no matter how determined I am. However you are absolutely right that positive thinking is beneficially in so many ways. I'm really not one for feeling sorry for myself even if this post seems contradictory to that but with all these things finding the right balance is key. My biggest downfall is constantly thinking that there's no point lowering my expectations as maybe 2moro I'll miraculously feel better.

 

[ironhorse]

Is sharing your horse an option, maybe with a pro rider as others have suggested?
My husband is in a very similar situation with a chronic lung condition and can't really ride at all in the winter. Thus we made the decision last year to sell his horse, and he shares the ride on mine when he feels up to it. He can't do any stable management except tacking up because of the dust, but I like pampering our horse so that's OK by me I also try to manage the horse carefully so that he has good rides - especially after the little so and so dumped him a couple of weeks ago! He didn't ride my horse at all until it was four as it was just too 'goey' for him - I still offer to do the warm up if he wants me to or just make sure he has been well worked the day before. He started competing again this year and has done really well, although at one show we saw the effects of too much stress and not enough warm up - the horse was an angel thankfully, but my OH couldn't get his breath and I thought he was going to pass out! He really enjoys competing when he is up to it, but also gets a thrill out of being the 'back up' team. He says its worth persevering for the fun he gets out of getting our boy to go well, but knows his limits and sticks to what he can do rather than worrying about what he can't. Hope you can continue to have fun with your horse Lyn x

 

[LynH]

If I were you I would look for something you immediately feel safe on and that is forward and light
I can't tell you how much fun I am having now. More than I have had in many years that's for sure!!

Sorry to hear that you've also had problems but it's really great to hear that you've found a solution that works for you.

I've been giving my situation a lot of thought recently as I had planned to put my elderly TB to sleep before winter and had thought that I can build myself up enough to go try horses next summer to replace her. I've become more realistic in my expectations or so I thought until a few weeks ago when I got a bout of pneumonia out of the blue. I've been infection free for two years which was a major achievement and now having been ill for the last 8 weeks I feel so frustrated that I may have been a little too optimistic.

As it happens I rode my TB twice this week and after writing this post today I took some extra pain killers and had a nice ride on Breagh. I managed about 20mins inc a short canter on each rein so now am all smiley. I am very lucky as my horses are safe even if they aren't perfect for me atm. I've had them for 14 and 13 yrs so I trust them and they've adapted well to all my limitations inc many of months of being one handed due to IV long lines in my left arm. I'm not going to rush out and replace them but I'm not one for rushing into anything so planning for next summer now will give me time to accept what I need to do rather than rushing ahead with what I want to do. Hearing that you are having more fun now gives me hope that in the next year or so I could also be improving my situation. I cannot sell the horses I have as they are 18 and 22 and I backed one and got the other straight off the track but I'm willing and able to let Breagh continue with a good rider so I can focus on a new horse when the time is right.

Jesstickle - I have a friend who had three stallions jumping with John Whitaker and other riders since so I've been lucky enough to see the benefits and huge expenses of being an owner. I did about 3 yrs ago put Breagh to a good Sandro Hit stallion in the hope of breeding either my next horse or if I wasn't able to ride to then put it with a good rider but unfortunately she didn't take. Tbh I'm not at that point yet as I do struggle to watch people ride at PSG or lower without thinking if I was well enough I would be trying to achieve that myself. Also I don't have the finances atm to fund another horse above this level. That's not to say that when I'm older or less able to ride that I won't enj

 

[TarrSteps]

I'm entertained that people are telling you to consider a forward going native. . .





(Before everyone jumps on me, she's got one of those kind of by accident but it's very green and she's got some other sucker to do all the boring work on it.)

 

[finngle]

Lyn I understand completely and while I never said being positive would necessarily get you back competing BD its bettet than feeling sorry for yourself, especially as its you who needs to decide where to draw the line as its very rare we listen to advice when our heart is involved. In the meantime support and positive energy will at least provide some hope for the future and I honestly do hope all works out for you

 

[LynH]

Oops.....
enjoy being an owner in the future.

For now I want to ride myself but am open to suggestions how to manage this or as Ironhorse suggests doing a combination of both.

Ironhorse - it sounds like you and your husband have a system that works for you and I guess the key point I took from your post is that flexibility is key. I have a nice young girl who recently started riding Breagh for me. She doesn't need the work to keep the fizz out of her, in fact the opposite, she needs the work to keep fit and the fitter she is the easier she is for me to ride. Finding a balance like you have with your husband where he gets to compete would be a good step forward for me even if I can play around at the lower levels.

It's not nice to hear that others have problems but at the same time it is good to know others have similar situations and that it is possible to find ways around it. I thought by starting this post that I'd like to hear from others in a similar situation to see if they had a system or approach that I just hadn't considered at all. I hope your husband continues to have fun with your horse.

 

[maximoo]

My heart goes out to you as I to am ill at the moment waiting to have embolization on my brain hopefully this will eventually sort me out but i to use to compete in dressage but at the moment takes me all the time to ride as I am constantly tired due to my medication so only ride every few weeks if lucky I am also looking to compete again next year hopefully but if I can't get out I am thinking of doing dressage online it just gives me something to aim at as my lad is a very well bred warmblood but he can go weeks without being rode then just gets on with it when I do ride he's my horse of a lifetime never give up life's to short

 

[TarrSteps]

"Unfortunately, I would disagree that wanting something badly enough is enough to make it happen"

No but positive thinking can certainly help you on your way. Theres plenty of miraculous people doing what they want to do despite being told to stay at home.

I was merely offering support to the OP and I admire her attitude. If she wants to ride who are we to say to her "why not ride and just be groom/owner" certainly its a good idea but she has said she wouldnt want that,
If we cant think of ways to cope surely we should be lending words of encouragement

Fair enough and I am duly chastised. I agree, it's very important to encourage people in their ambitions and support them when they are struggling.

I will freely admit that I am often the person urging caution and balance though, as my job often involves picking up the pieces when people have bitten off more than they can chew and been encouraged by well meaning people to 'keep trying' without a concrete plan for changing the outcome.i figure the world is full of people who advocate always looking on the bright side. Sometimes it can be helpful to say ' It's okay you couldn't get that done. It doesn't mean you didn't try hard enough, some things are not meant to be. Let's do this, instead.'

 

[LynH]

I'm entertained that people are telling you to consider a forward going native. . .





(Before everyone jumps on me, she's got one of those kind of by accident but it's very green and she's got some other sucker to do all the boring work on it.)

Hehe I doubt they meant an unbroken companion pony who is wider than she is tall but haha sucker you get to ride it and if you do get her out doing BD I may well whip her back off you ;0)

For those of you wondering why I don't ride the pony, my reactions are far too slow and my brain too fuddled by opioids to be getting on a newly broken stubborn 10 yr old. Tarrsteps is starting her education to give her a better future than an unbroken older pony would have. It does however mean that she's at my place regularly and has listened to my ever changing rantings on what I want to be doing and how useless my body is at times.

 

[Pidgeon]

What about the online dressage comps mentioned above? Could film them when you are having a good day and someone else could warm up for you. Take my hat off to you for your determination.

 

[Dunlin]

First of all I want to tell you how sorry I am for you and that I do understand everything in your post 100%.

I have suffered from M.E and Fibromyalgia for the past 6 years, it is progressively getting worse and as it has I have also had other health issues come along, probably because my body is quite frankly knackered.

I gave up owning horses at the age of 19 to do the usual things; Uni, work etc. I still loved and missed horses but I got back into riding 4 years ago by having a few lessons.

I then moved here (Dorset) to horsey country and found myself surrounded by horses and hunting and at the time my health had reached a manageable plateau so I found a lovely share. Since being in this share I have pushed and pushed and pushed to be reliable for the owner and to chase my teenage abilities and it has killed me and made my health a lot worse that I have not recovered from. I will also admit to sinking into very deep depression. It had been building for a while but what flicked the switch was taking the horse out to the nearest hunt meet one day. I was absolutely dead when I got there and it was only a 10 minute hack. I paid my cap, socialised and then hacked home in tears as I was in unfeasible amounts of pain and beyond exhausted. It was not the pain or exhaustion that got to me it was that I am 33 years old and I feel like my life has gone and I'll never get it back.

I had a long chat with horses owner literally last weekend and I have given up the share and she has someone else now but I can go up whenever I feel up to it (once a week or once a year) and do what I want, cuddle, groom, ride. There's no pressure on me now and I feel a lot better for it. I have also started counselling sessions to help me come to terms with having a long term chronic health condition which is also very good and I feel very overdue.

My counsellor said to me on Monday that having a long term health condition needs to be treated like bereavement at times because you have lost your former life unexpectedly and you need to grieve for that and come to terms with it. I completely agree with this and although there is no treatment or cure for M.E & Fibro I can at least try to get my head around it and find ways of dealing with it. If you have not already done so I think you could benefit from this.

I don't have any miracle cures or wonderful words of wisdom for you but you do need to stop pushing so much, the only thing you will achieve is making yourself worse. Enjoy what you can do and remember to smile when you are on board one of your horses, I know you're not doing dressage or schooling and it may just be a hack around the block and I'm trying not to sound patronising but one thing I have learnt in my time so far with this illness is that I am beginning to appreciate the smaller things in life like the feel of a velvety muzzle and the sound of crunchy frosty leaves under hoof. It's not jumping hedges or poncing up and down an arena but I am grateful that I did once have the chance to do that rather than not at all.

Although painful I hope the jabs provide some pain relief for you.

*hugs*

 

[soulfull]

I'm entertained that people are telling you to consider a forward going native. . .





(Before everyone jumps on me, she's got one of those kind of by accident but it's very green and she's got some other sucker to do all the boring work on it.)

oh I see lol.

Sorry to hear that you've also had problems but it's really great to hear that you've found a solution that works for you.

I've been giving my situation a lot of thought recently as I had planned to put my elderly TB to sleep before winter and had thought that I can build myself up enough to go try horses next summer to replace her. I've become more realistic in my expectations or so I thought until a few weeks ago when I got a bout of pneumonia out of the blue. I've been infection free for two years which was a major achievement and now having been ill for the last 8 weeks I feel so frustrated that I may have been a little too optimistic.

As it happens I rode my TB twice this week and after writing this post today I took some extra pain killers and had a nice ride on Breagh. I managed about 20mins inc a short canter on each rein so now am all smiley. I am very lucky as my horses are safe even if they aren't perfect for me atm. I've had them for 14 and 13 yrs so I trust them and they've adapted well to all my limitations inc many of months of being one handed due to IV long lines in my left arm. I'm not going to rush out and replace them but I'm not one for rushing into anything so planning for next summer now will give me time to accept what I need to do rather than rushing ahead with what I want to do. Hearing that you are having more fun now gives me hope that in the next year or so I could also be improving my situation. I cannot sell the horses I have as they are 18 and 22 and I backed one and got the other straight off the track but I'm willing and able to let Breagh continue with a good rider so I can focus on a new horse when the time is right.

Jesstickle - I have a friend who had three stallions jumping with John Whitaker and other riders since so I've been lucky enough to see the benefits and huge expenses of being an owner. I did about 3 yrs ago put Breagh to a good Sandro Hit stallion in the hope of breeding either my next horse or if I wasn't able to ride to then put it with a good rider but unfortunately she didn't take. Tbh I'm not at that point yet as I do struggle to watch people ride at PSG or lower without thinking if I was well enough I would be trying to achieve that myself. Also I don't have the finances atm to fund another horse above this level. That's not to say that when I'm older or less able to ride that I won't enj

I too have recurring bouts of phneumonia and asthma Not nice!!! Again though the forward ness of my new one means I can do much more before I get tired

I'm also burying my head in the sand and admitting it on here now will be my first step
I had replacement ankle surgery 2 years ago. The dam thing has started slipping out of place

I know at some point in the not too distant future it will mean more surgery, and I'm gutted. Just as I find my perfect horse I break. This cycle has been going on 10 years!!! I've not had a full summer or winter where both myself and horse have been well enough to enjoy it

It's heartbreaking. I am nearly 49 and I know as each season passes I have less and less time to have fun

I'm already taking masses of mega strong pain killers so there is no where else to go

I don't have any support so have to do all myself
Like Sunday I am hoping to take her showing. I will have to get her bathed and ready. Load and drive her and all the kit. I will be alone
Come home and do everything again
It may well take me a week to recover

Or I could wake up Sunday too poorly to go

I am not yet ready to share her and can't afford to pay for help either


I didn't mean this to be a poor me post. More I know how difficult it can be!!

 

[finngle]

"I will freely admit that I am often the person urging caution and balance though, as my job often involves picking up the pieces when people have bitten off more than they can chew and been encouraged by well meaning people to 'keep trying' without a concrete plan for changing the outcome.i figure the world is full of people who advocate always looking on the bright side. Sometimes it can be helpful to say ' It's okay you couldn't get that done. It doesn't mean you didn't try hard enough, some things are not meant to be. Let's do this, instead.'"

I can understand your take on things and I will admit I've seen plenty people over horse themselves, I do believe that horses can sense feelings you have and many can tell if you aren't able bodied, obviously Im gathering these arent crazy big horses Lyn has, mine and my sisters horses have always been gentle with my mum and if you look at rda ponies it can be done, even if it means buying/loaning a safer option you could still aim for a little dressage test even if you never get there online tests sound like a great idea! May be worth a go for my big loony of a horse