I'm a bloke. I hate shopping, but I need Breeches. HEELLLLLP!

soapy

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I have spent an hour looking for breeches on the internet (spending an hour on shopping ANYWHERE is a record for me) but have not found anything I want. This post is my next desperate (some may call it lazy) attempt to find the breeches of my dreams. If I sound fussy it's probably because your a woman, but lets face it, women have a whole gamut of choice. Us blokes don't. Following is my list of demands. Any help in locating such a garment is appreciated, as are sarcastic comments ;-)
OK, Here goes:
1) I DON'T want beige, cream, white, navy or black breeches.
2) I do want brown, khaki, taupe, olive or, at a push grey breeches.
3) I DON'T want saggy pleated breeches (even if they are "more flattering").
4) I do want stretchy, close-fitting breeches (it's a sport, everything in sport is stretchy and tight-fitting these days. It's for a good reason. Deal with it!).
5) I DON'T want full seat breeches and I DON'T want gossamer thin breeches.
6) I do want knee-patch breeches and I want them thick enough for winter use.
I have tried the Townend soft-shell breeches but they don't have enough stretch. I have tried Mark Todd and they're OK for summer, but not winter.
HEEEELLLLLLLLP!!!! please!
 
Go into your local tack shop and try some women's breeches on. I can assure you that you won't be the first man to do this and some of them are marked unisex anyway.
 
Those Equetech ones look OK, better than I found anyway. The embroidery near the pocket is a bit weird though. I reckon they've put a picture of women't breeches up accidentally. Men don't want embroidery! Do they? I don't. Other than that excellent effort. Thanks!
 
Those Equetech ones look OK, better than I found anyway. The embroidery near the pocket is a bit weird though. I reckon they've put a picture of women't breeches up accidentally. Men don't want embroidery! Do they? I don't. Other than that excellent effort. Thanks!

t shirt should cover it but know what you mean, hopefully wouldn't be too noticeable in the flesh, least it's not diamanté!
 
t shirt should cover it but know what you mean, hopefully wouldn't be too noticeable in the flesh, least it's not diamanté!
Yeah, when is Katie Price gonna do a Men's range? I can't wait. I just put "Equetech Mens close contact breeches" into google and it comes up with a different picture of non-embroidered, pleated ones. But they're not massive pleats so reckon I could live with them. Now it's just trying to figure out if they're cosy enough for all the blizzards and howling sub-zero winds we're gonna get this winter.
 
Yeah, when is Katie Price gonna do a Men's range? I can't wait. I just put "Equetech Mens close contact breeches" into google and it comes up with a different picture of non-embroidered, pleated ones. But they're not massive pleats so reckon I could live with them. Now it's just trying to figure out if they're cosy enough for all the blizzards and howling sub-zero winds we're gonna get this winter.

If they aren't then could always add some full chaps or over trousers for the worst weather.. but that's more shopping!
 
Dont reckon you ride at all, just posting to chat to ladies.
I hate shopping with a passion but dont class time spent in tack shop as shopping.

PS straight male rider of 49 years experience!
 
Am also surprised how civilised this is!

Equestrian clearance usually has a good range of colours some at clearance price.

Weren't there those infamous pair of Ollie Townend men's leg wear that looked rather snug... or were they jodhpurs? They may come in something other than white?
 
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