I'm being bullied

[ QUOTE ]


She replied about me being a stupid little girl and I said at least I had age on my side you old trout! Then I turned on my heel and shot off ... see I'm not brave really!!!!

So, standing up to her didn't do much good.

[/ QUOTE ]

LMAO - nice one. I'm usually quite brave but I'd have shot off too after calling her an old trout. Well done you!
Seriously though, if she is that bad the best thing to do is just ignore her and if she speaks to you don't answer and walk away.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I don't think that you can expect someone else to fight your battles for you. Just ignore her after all as we know with our husbands your can't argue with someone who won't argue back. Just tell her that you don't wish anything to do with her and you won't be speaking to her again until she is going to be civil to you. If she says anything behave as if she were not there. There is nothing more annoying than being ignored.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree........some people just have to have attention, even negative attention. IGNORE her, laugh at her and get on with having fun with your horse....it'll drive her batty if she thinks that she isn't getting to you.
laugh.gif
 
I agree with everyone else and say YES go to the YO asap. Bullying like this is way out of order.
If I know I'm in the right I will stand my ground on an issue as you did with the barn doors.
Take someone with you to back up what you say when you go to the YO.
Good luck and let us know how you get on with it
 
as a YO, i would certainly want to know if one of my liveries felt bullied. to be honest, we have had it on the yard, and when we had 2 complaints they were asked to leave, i think no-one, YO or not likes confrontation but its part of being a YO as there sure are some nutty hor owners out there!
i think if you go alone, the YO may just put it down to a clash of personalities. i think you need to either
A - get this woman wound up (doesnt seem hard, just open the door again!) when the YO is around so they can witness it 1st hand
B - tell the YO whats going on - ideally with the support of other liveries going wih you or if this isnt possible,
get the YO to go and ask other liveries what they think of her.
the YO needs to be proactive with this or people will leave because of this vile woman, and why should you/they go through the hassle and upset.

good luck.
 
Just smile sweetly and tell her that you're imagining her naked on the toilet. That should make her give YOU a wide berth. Problem solved!
 
I can only echo what other people have said and that you have a word with your YO about this woman who sounds awful to be honest
frown.gif

No one should be intimidated by anyone in my opinion and it does sound like this person is behaving that way with you.
Behaviour like that is totally unacceptable in my honest opinion and I would feel drawn to involving the yard owner at this point because I have the feeling she will just carry on as she likes.
Sadly some bullies and small minded people don't get the message if you ignore them or stand up to them. I know because I had issues at school years ago and I tried both methods with all sorts of bullies and it didn't work. In fact in some cases it made the matter worse. Ignoring meant they worked harder in trying to make my life a misery and by standing up to them they just enrolled the help of others.
I swear some people really 'get off' on this kind of thing and that is so very sad, imo.
The reason I said involve the yard owner is because the livery is their business and only they really have the authority to sort this out in the end.
Going it alone doesn't always work. Like school bullies in some cases people only respond to some sort of authority or when their circumstances ( ie her livery) are threatened. After all the methods I tried at school it was only when head teachers were involved did the issue get resolved and the bullies were made to look like the utter prats they were that it all eventually stopped.
Because of my own experience in the past it makes me unhappy to see or hear of anyone being bullied in any shape or form, whether it is physical or emotional, as both are as bad as each other in my opinion.
I would have a word with your yard owner and explain what has been going on.
If the lady is not told on her bike then at least you may get the opportunity to move stables so as not to be next to her or she might be moved. I think the latter would help because then you may not feel quite so intimidated if she is not as close to you.
Good luck and I hope everything turns out for the best x
Caz
 
I definitely think you should speak to your YO, especially as other people have witnessed her behaviour too. It only takes one bad apple to ruin it for everyone. Don't let her do that!!!

Horses are supposed to be fun, it's an expensive way to be miserable that's for sure. Sounds like she has had her own way for far too long, wherever she has been. Good luck, I hate this kind of thing, it's really upsetting isn't it?
 
What a horrible old witch! Well done for standing up to her - keep it up.

I would also have a word with your YO, not from the point of view of her fighting your battle but just so she's aware of what's going on. I would also ask for a stable away from this cowbag if at all possible. If she has a go again, tell her that you do NOT wish to speak to her and ignore her completely.

Don't let her put you off, she's so not worth it. She'll probably bugger off in a while to cause havoc elsewhere!
 
This is why when we had a yard all new liveries were on a months trial - it meant we could get rid of them when they turned out to be morons who upset everyone else.
 
Treat her as if she is invisable, don't lower to her standards and retaliate....like someone has said, ignore her even if she does speak to you, whether it be nice or horrid, ignore her.
 
Sounds awful, poor you. I'd start logging all the incidents whilst they are fresh in your mind, along with who witnessed it all going on. Don't bite back, just take it and give her enough rope to hang herself with, and keep logging it. When you've got a good long list, take it to the YO and insist she sorts it out. Keep an ear out for any other stables that may be coming vacant in your yard and get your horse moved. You could one day stop her mid flow and very calmly say something like "we've noticed that you seem to be very unhappy and wondered if there is anything we can do to help you?" which would stop her in her tracks. If you know where she came from perhaps you could ask there what her track record was like? it would be nice to know its not just you that has suffered! Good luck, deep breath and chin up.
 
I believe the term 'bullying' is far too over-used these days. If there was no violence or threat of violence all you had was a harmless encounter with a gobsh*te. Continue to stand up for yourself, as you have done, inform the YO she's a pain and caused your horse to nearly jump on you, carry on as normal and don't let her get to you. If she wants to waste her breath shouting, let her, its not doing you any harm. If she touches you she'll be off the yard before her feet can touch the floor as no yard needs much of an excuse to chuck off very unpleasant people.
cool.gif
 
Top