I'm not coping very well.....

[Benjamin]

Hi there,
Sad, and maybe a bit of a pointless post, but I am sad to say, Benj is being PTS on Friday.

I am incredibly sad about it. I am trying to be strong and matter of fact, and then I try and let it all out and cry like a baby. I want a hug, but want to be left alone.
Friends are sad about it, my sister had a little weep on the phone about it, so now I feel incredibly guilty.
I know what has to be done, but it doesn't make it any easier.

People keep making very helpful suggestions, and its not helping.

I am in a bit of a state at the moment. I thought that having time would be better, easier, than having to do it suddenly.

Pointless, I know. I apologise. I just needed to get it off my chest.

Paula x

 

[suzyqet]

Nothing I can say really but......................

((((HUGS))))

 

[flying solo]

So sorry, big hugs x

 

[SKY]

i'm so sorry, that is worst feeling, maybe arrange it to be 2morrow or wednesday and less time to wait, you wont be able to think of anything else. this is awful i lost one long time ago and she had tbps. so i know how you feel, big big hug for you and i really feel for you right now.

 

[ThePony]

Wish I could say something that would help, but afraid nothing anyone can say could take your pain away. Massive hugs for this hard time and try and console yourself with that fact that Benji won't know what is going on and he won't know he might have had a longer life. He will be happy with you, then sleeping. It is the kindest thing in so many circumstances. Big hugs for you and carrots for your boy xx

 

[scatty_mare]

Have a virtual hug. It is a very sad time and you are not going to feel better about it for a while, but you will eventually. Easy for me to say, doesn't make it easier for the moment.
It is the right thing for him, and you are brave to be letting him go with dignity x

 

[Curragh]

So sorry to hear your sad news. There is no right or wrong way you should be feeling, but just make the most of the time you have left with him x

 

[Thelwell_Girl]

Oh Paula, please dont apologise

As curragh said, there is no right or wrong way you should be feeling, but just make the most of the time you have left with him xxx

 

[Flicker]

I am so sorry for your impending loss - huge hugs.

Don't bottle anything in. If you want to cry, then cry. Worrying about what others are feeling will just make it harder for you to come to terms with it. At this time, you and your horse are your number 1 priority.

And give yourself time to grieve.

We'll be thinking of you both on Friday.

((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Rosehip]

Dont ever applogise for feeling like you do! To have this weeight inside you is like nothing on earth, so you have everry right to feel how you do!
Ive lost 2 now, but they were both fairly sudden, so I didnt have the feeling of foreboding you have now. All I can say is do what you feel is right at the time...if you want to cry, then cry, laugh then laugh, if you want to be alone then you have the right.... have a big long cyber hug from me!
I had 3 hours with my boy, and I pampered him like we were going to a show, maybe you could do something like this on Friday?
My thoughts are with you, stay strong and remember the good times xx

 

[maggy-may]

So sorry to hear this, it is never going to be an easy decision to make but you know you are doing the right thing by him. Just make this week as special as you can with him. Your friends will be there when you need them and will understand if you want to be on your own, will be thinking of you on friday. xx

 

[LauraWheeler]

Huge huge (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) to you. As others have said there is no right or wrong way to deal with what you are going through. When I got the news about Lucy the bottom fell out of my world. I was away on holiday, there was no way I could get home and she went down hill so quickly I had to make the desition to have her put down the next day. I cried down the phone to the vet, I cried down the phone to my friend who was looking after her while I was away. Then I cried the whole night through. I know what you mean about people not being able to say the right thing as I was on a canal boat holiday. I just wanted to be alone but there was no way I could get away. Everyone kept saying I was doing the right thing and it was all going to be ok but it realy didn't help me. I would have given anything to have seen Lucy that night but there was nothing I could do.
Spend as much time with your boy as you can.
If you need to cry, cry nomatter where you are or who is there. If you want to talk about your boy, talk about him. If you don't, don't.
Just do whatever it takes to help you get through this terrable time. If you ever need someone to talk to or just need someone to listen while you let it all out I'm only a PM away. I know you don't know me but I'm here if you need me ok.

 

[Benjamin]

Thank you Laura, and everyone who has taken the time to reply, it is much appreciated.

My apologies for not replying to you all.

Paula x

 

[MrsMozart]

Hug hunny.

Been there. No words, just hugs.

 

[Hippona]

Its crap hun. (((((((hugs)))))))

 

[Leg_end]

I feel EXACTLY the same and my boy is being PTS on Weds or Thurs Its a horrible thing to do but I know it has to be done. I sat in bed wailing last night, life just isnt fair and we've been through so much ***** I would have thought we deserved a break but clearly not

If you need to talk PM me x

 

[tinkandlily]

Big ((((((((hugs)))))))), i am so sorry, i had that same wait when my boy was pts, i could n'tstay with him very long the night before and on the morning i just couldn't go to the yard, which i really regret now, i should have been there early and stayed with him all morning, but instead i got there 5 mins before the vet, and just about managed to say goodbye. Spend all the time with him you can.

 

[Echo Bravo]

(((((((hugs))))))))

 

[ruscara]

I am so, so sorry to read this. I wish I could help, but I can only send you cyber hugs and tell you that I am thinking of you. How terribly sad. xxx

 

[Letslip]

Big hugs to you, and really sorry that you are having to go through this, there really is nothing worse.

 

[maletto]

Nothing at all anyone can say but just know that you are surely doing the right thing and it will get easier with time. No one expects you to be able to cope immediately so don't put too much pressure on yourself to put a brave face on.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

 

[ElvisandTilly]

So sorry. Big hugs.(((()))) xx

 

[Rose Folly]

Nothing I can say except will be thinking of you and Benji on Friday.

It's not much help, and is not meant to sound flippant, but my last two drifted off with their mouths stuffed with Extra Strong Mints - I just hoped their final thought was what a sucker Mum was.

I've had it done for me, and I've done it for others. Be there for your boy when he is PTS, but get a friend to take over any admin bits afterwards - then you can go and be with your thoughts.

Better times will come!!! Lots of love.

 

[Shysmum]

sending you huge (((((((((((((hugs))))))))).

I am so very sorry, it must be an incredibly hard time for you . Do keep talking here, as I know we'll all try and support you thru this. Anyone who has ever lost a treasured horse will be rooting for you.

Shysmum xx

 

[Moggy in Manolos]

I am so sorry to hear this, all I can offer is a *big hug* x

 

[jumpingmum]

I know exactly how you feel and can only offer a big hug. I made the decision to put my mare of 23 to sleep a couple of days before it happened as she was going downhill and not enjoying life and was in pain. She was the first horse I had ever bought, we hunted, evented, showed and had a wonderful time, I bought her at 4 and for 19 years she was my best friend.

She bred me 5 foals and they were fantastic as well, her last foal was Horse of the Year 2010, her last present to me. I loved her as I have loved no other horse and couldn't believe I wouldn't see her again. I rang everyone who knew her and they all came to see her and say goodbye with carrots and apples. Having lost my beloved jack russell suddenly it was actually easier to have time to say goodbye to my girl. It didn't feel easier before she was gone, it was agony, but after she was gone it left me in more peace having had that time. Thinking of you xx

 

[Benjamin]

Thank you all very much for your replies.

It has helped.

Paula x

 

[pottamus]

Nothing I can say to make it any better, but my thoughts are with you. xx

 

[riding_high]

my thoughts are with you. nothing more i can say. x

 

[TheresaW]

Oh P, wish there was something we could do to help. Give him and yourself a big hug from me. (Am crying myself a bit now).

xxx