I'm really struggling with riding....

[jules9203]

This will be a long post so apologies...
In the last 10 yrs nearly every horse I have bought has been pts. That includes the couple I have sold. It's been heart breaking. I'm going to list them as I want people to understand the point of this post.
One was lost to old age, one to SI problems aged 10. One through cancer aged 8, another due to conformation issues aged 7. One through sycamore poisoning aged 4. Two had major tendon issues. Worst of all was the mare I had bred that I had to have pts aged 7 due to navicular.
When I lost my homebred I went and bought a Welsh Sec D mare. My reasoning was she was 7, very low mileage and native - so hopefully resilient. I also decided that I was no longer chasing any goals and I just wanted something I could enjoy. I love mares and don't mind feisty. We are 18 months on and she has arthritis in both front feet and her hocks.
Before 2013 I had owned 3 horses and they had all been from youngsters to old age and had no issues. I have worked with horses for over 30 yrs and never known this amount of sadness (although I hear more and more that others have)
The point of my post is I am losing the love of riding. I don't want to put the emotional input into another horse that could go wrong. I know I should be schooling the Welshy but I go in the school and just want to turn round and come out again. I still love teaching and running my yard but never imagined a day when I really didn't want to ride and that's how I've felt for a while.
Has any one been through this and have any advice? I am so close to giving up riding

 

[ycbm]

I put down my last horse 10 days before Christmas . The second in one year, they were 8 (deformed bones) and 7 (advanced arthritis). I am not missing riding at all and I don't intend ever to buy another, the constant worry about whether they are OK and the pain of loss simply isn't balanced by the enjoyment I get now from riding.

I feel your pain and am so sorry for your losses. It hurts more every time.
.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Literally this morning was chat/messaging a friend, she’s on hho too.
We have both lost or retired too many and it’s so unfair
It’s hard to keep going

 

[Midlifecrisis]

Jules that sounds heartbreaking and I honestly think it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to ride…do the bits you enjoy at this moment. If the desire to ride comes back fab but it’s OK if it doesn’t. Cut yourself some slack because you ve had some painfully sad experiences…I’m sending you a hug because I don’t know how to make it better…sorry.

 

[exracehorse]

I’ve lost two in 6 months.

 

[catembi]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have had 6 x PSSMs in a row, interspersed with one that I couldn’t stay on (spooky) for variety. I currently have 3 x PSSMs at home and a Shetland. Paying for four, nothing I can ride faster than walk. I am thinking of buying a 5th in the spring but a big part of me thinks, what’s the effing point as it will only end in disaster. I won’t buy another without testing for type 1 and 2, but there are a million billion other things that could, and will, go wrong.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I'm sorry for your losses.
I'm not sure if telling you about other horses that have been pts early will help, it could just confirm your feelings but I know how you feel, I lost 3 consecutively, aged 6, 11 and 11, all to different catastrophic problems, all pts as emergencies. But I have had others that have lived long healthy lives with barely a thing wrong before they were pts because of old age. I know someone else who lost 8 in 5 yrs. I try to concentrate on the good memories

 

[LEC]

The ones I sell normally go on to a great age and the ones I keep are normally a disaster. I don’t know, it’s just horses. Jealous of those who have horses who keep going year after year but can’t quit the addiction. I think I expect horses to go wrong and it’s just a matter of when, so make the most of it when they are sound. I do think owning more helps as one might be able to do something. Out of 5 that I own, ride or manage I have 3 in work. One who has a downgraded life out on loan due to suspensory issues, one who has had £12k spent this summer on trying to stop her going blind and we still don’t know if she will go blind, one who has actually been ok apart from a tooth abscess and one who has been unlevel for 5 months so turned away to see if sorts it and a 2yo homebred.

 

[poiuytrewq]

The ones I sell normally go on to a great age and the ones I keep are normally a disaster. I don’t know, it’s just horses. Jealous of those who have horses who keep going year after year but can’t quit the addiction. I think I expect horses to go wrong and it’s just a matter of when, so make the most of it when they are sound. I do think owning more helps as one might be able to do something. Out of 5 that I own, ride or manage I have 3 in work. One who has a downgraded life out on loan due to suspensory issues, one who has had £12k spent this summer on trying to stop her going blind and we still don’t know if she will go blind, one who has actually been ok apart from a tooth abscess and one who has been unlevel for 5 months so turned away to see if sorts it and a 2yo homebred.

A few summers ago my daughter got a horse out of racing. So did I.
Hers a 4yo grey big baby. Mine a much older ram a lot bay.
She jacked it all in and I decided to keep the bay and loaned the grey to a friend.
Guess which one worked well and has been sound and heathy and the other the polar opposite!

 

[LEC]

A few summers ago my daughter got a horse out of racing. So did I.
Hers a 4yo grey big baby. Mine a much older ram a lot bay.
She jacked it all in and I decided to keep the bay and loaned the grey to a friend.
Guess which one worked well and has been sound and heathy and the other the polar opposite!

I had cancer so had to sell my good but very tricky horse. My dream is to complete 2* level. Guess what the one I sold did 4 months later…. Yep won 2*. I was pretty gutted at the time.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I had cancer so had to sell my good but very tricky horse. My dream is to complete 2* level. Guess what the one I sold did 4 months later…. Yep won 2*. I was pretty gutted at the time.

That must have been awful. Sorry to hear that

 

[nutjob]

The weather and the mud have been terrible this year. For me it's been a long, hard winter already. Can you give your horse a few weeks off then see how you feel when spring is approaching. I usually give mine a few weeks in Dec / Jan, it takes the pressure off if you are not planning to ride anyway. See how you feel in 3/4 weeks.

 

[eahotson]

This will be a long post so apologies...
In the last 10 yrs nearly every horse I have bought has been pts. That includes the couple I have sold. It's been heart breaking. I'm going to list them as I want people to understand the point of this post.
One was lost to old age, one to SI problems aged 10. One through cancer aged 8, another due to conformation issues aged 7. One through sycamore poisoning aged 4. Two had major tendon issues. Worst of all was the mare I had bred that I had to have pts aged 7 due to navicular.
When I lost my homebred I went and bought a Welsh Sec D mare. My reasoning was she was 7, very low mileage and native - so hopefully resilient. I also decided that I was no longer chasing any goals and I just wanted something I could enjoy. I love mares and don't mind feisty. We are 18 months on and she has arthritis in both front feet and her hocks.
Before 2013 I had owned 3 horses and they had all been from youngsters to old age and had no issues. I have worked with horses for over 30 yrs and never known this amount of sadness (although I hear more and more that others have)
The point of my post is I am losing the love of riding. I don't want to put the emotional input into another horse that could go wrong. I know I should be schooling the Welshy but I go in the school and just want to turn round and come out again. I still love teaching and running my yard but never imagined a day when I really didn't want to ride and that's how I've felt for a while.
Has any one been through this and have any advice? I am so close to giving up riding

Sometimes things just come to a natural end.If you enjoy teaching just carry on with that.If you are not QUITE ready, maybe just have a break from riding during the winter months and see if you feel better in the spring.

 

[marmalade76]

I've had a slightly different problem. I lost my "perfect" horse in 2017 due to Cushing's and have failed to find the "right" one since. My confidence has been completely eroded and I've lost a load of money on top. The latter has led me to the decision to never spend more than £2k again which is not ideal since prices have shot up but I'm not prepared to keep throwing money away (it annoys the husband massively for starters!) so my current horse is a retired polo pony who's not perfect but she's safe, unflappable, easy to do and very sweet so makes a great pet which is good because as she's rising 22, our riding days are going to be limited but at least I know that.

I have considered giving up riding and just having one as a pet (as most of my enjoyment comes from looking after them) but I'm not ready for that just yet, I do want to ride still, even if it is just a plod round the lanes. I do have some lovely friends who lend me nice, reliable horses for the odd day's hunting so I am very lucky in some respects.

 

[windswoo]

Because we live so long and are able to have animals in our lives we are going to lose them along the way.
It is always heart-breaking but difficult when you seem to loose a few close together or that they are unexpected losses.
We've got two dogs that are 11 this year and two horses both in their late teens.
The likelihood is that we could lose them all quite close together - it is going to be hard, but its how it happens sometimes.
If I lose the horses before I give up work I won't have anymore and I don't think we'll have another dog whilst still working either.
A complete differing lifestyle could be on the cards in the next few years.
Give yourself a break if you need to and see how you feel when the weather gets better. I think we all go through this as we get older - you're not alone.

 

[Flame_]

This will be a long post so apologies...
In the last 10 yrs nearly every horse I have bought has been pts. That includes the couple I have sold. It's been heart breaking. I'm going to list them as I want people to understand the point of this post.
One was lost to old age, one to SI problems aged 10. One through cancer aged 8, another due to conformation issues aged 7. One through sycamore poisoning aged 4. Two had major tendon issues. Worst of all was the mare I had bred that I had to have pts aged 7 due to navicular.
When I lost my homebred I went and bought a Welsh Sec D mare. My reasoning was she was 7, very low mileage and native - so hopefully resilient. I also decided that I was no longer chasing any goals and I just wanted something I could enjoy. I love mares and don't mind feisty. We are 18 months on and she has arthritis in both front feet and her hocks.
Before 2013 I had owned 3 horses and they had all been from youngsters to old age and had no issues. I have worked with horses for over 30 yrs and never known this amount of sadness (although I hear more and more that others have)
The point of my post is I am losing the love of riding. I don't want to put the emotional input into another horse that could go wrong. I know I should be schooling the Welshy but I go in the school and just want to turn round and come out again. I still love teaching and running my yard but never imagined a day when I really didn't want to ride and that's how I've felt for a while.
Has any one been through this and have any advice? I am so close to giving up riding

I think you have to change your mindset to stick with horses once you know everything is, or goes, wrong with them, or at least that's what's worked for me. Firstly, no jumping - it exacerbates anything the horse might be otherwise comfortably living with. Secondly, avoid scans, x-rays, internal investigations of any kind for anything chronic. Rest, conditioning, rest, conditioning, repeat. Go looking for internal flaws and you will find them and some more you'd never even suspected. If schooling's going badly instead of progressing, just stop doing it for a bit, rest, hack, try again later. It's a long game but better than looking at things day to day over whether, "is he a bit not quite right? Ooh better lunge him on a firm surface until I can see enough lameness to get a vet to come and do internal investigations and find everything wrong...".

I'm a postie, I walk at least eight miles a day, often double that, six days a week. I'm not 100% sound, sometimes I am, sometimes I'm far from it, but, on balance, I believe being so active is a better thing for my physical health in the long run than being far less active. I think the same applies to horses and we should aim to just keep on managing how to give them optimum exercise in spite of the fact that their bodies aren't always totally right or comfortable. Also, I don't subscribe to the idea that compensatory movement patterns are blanket wrong. Sometimes they are, but sometimes just by finding ways to keep on moving, the thing that's hurting can improve. Soundness is a journey that can be an interesting one.

I have a very good horse that is never sick or sorry, and about middling in terms of maintenance, but I've had a few pts young and it is depressing. There do seem to be a good few welshies around that aren't as sound as people expect, I don't know what's gone wrong there but, yeah, there are many around with problems. My arabs have been really bloody sound in spite of both enjoying copious foot pointing. Maybe hunting is the best bet (straight lines mostly on soft ground in winter), especially without jumping, as a way to enjoy riding with the lowest chance of soundness issues showing up (but it's not for me as I'm too much of a fair weather rider).

 

[eahotson]

I think you have to change your mindset to stick with horses once you know everything is, or goes, wrong with them, or at least that's what's worked for me. Firstly, no jumping - it exacerbates anything the horse might be otherwise comfortably living with. Secondly, avoid scans, x-rays, internal investigations of any kind for anything chronic. Rest, conditioning, rest, conditioning, repeat. Go looking for internal flaws and you will find them and some more you'd never even suspected. If schooling's going badly instead of progressing, just stop doing it for a bit, rest, hack, try again later. It's a long game but better than looking at things day to day over whether, "is he a bit not quite right? Ooh better lunge him on a firm surface until I can see enough lameness to get a vet to come and do internal investigations and find everything wrong...".

I'm a postie, I walk at least eight miles a day, often double that, six days a week. I'm not 100% sound, sometimes I am, sometimes I'm far from it, but, on balance, I believe being so active is a better thing for my physical health in the long run than being far less active. I think the same applies to horses and we should aim to just keep on managing how to give them optimum exercise in spite of the fact that their bodies aren't always totally right or comfortable. Also, I don't subscribe to the idea that compensatory movement patterns are blanket wrong. Sometimes they are, but sometimes just by finding ways to keep on moving, the thing that's hurting can improve. Soundness is a journey that can be an interesting one.

I have a very good horse that is never sick or sorry, and about middling in terms of maintenance, but I've had a few pts young and it is depressing. There do seem to be a good few welshies around that aren't as sound as people expect, I don't know what's gone wrong there but, yeah, there are many around with problems. My arabs have been really bloody sound in spite of both enjoying copious foot pointing. Maybe hunting is the best bet (straight lines mostly on soft ground in winter), especially without jumping, as a way to enjoy riding with the lowest chance of soundness issues showing up (but it's not for me as I'm too much of a fair weather rider).

Very sensible.

 

[Cragrat]

OP - so sorry - you have had such a tough time of it I lost 2 close together, and that was bad enough. (one old age, so expected but still tough , one colic).

I think you have to change your mindset to stick with horses once you know everything is, or goes, wrong with them, or at least that's what's worked for me. Firstly, no jumping - it exacerbates anything the horse might be otherwise comfortably living with. Secondly, avoid scans, x-rays, internal investigations of any kind for anything chronic. Rest, conditioning, rest, conditioning, repeat. Go looking for internal flaws and you will find them and some more you'd never even suspected. If schooling's going badly instead of progressing, just stop doing it for a bit, rest, hack, try again later. It's a long game but better than looking at things day to day over whether, "is he a bit not quite right? Ooh better lunge him on a firm surface until I can see enough lameness to get a vet to come and do internal investigations and find everything wrong...".

I'm a postie, I walk at least eight miles a day, often double that, six days a week. I'm not 100% sound, sometimes I am, sometimes I'm far from it, but, on balance, I believe being so active is a better thing for my physical health in the long run than being far less active. I think the same applies to horses and we should aim to just keep on managing how to give them optimum exercise in spite of the fact that their bodies aren't always totally right or comfortable. Also, I don't subscribe to the idea that compensatory movement patterns are blanket wrong. Sometimes they are, but sometimes just by finding ways to keep on moving, the thing that's hurting can improve. Soundness is a journey that can be an interesting one.

I have a very good horse that is never sick or sorry, and about middling in terms of maintenance, but I've had a few pts young and it is depressing. There do seem to be a good few welshies around that aren't as sound as people expect, I don't know what's gone wrong there but, yeah, there are many around with problems. My arabs have been really bloody sound in spite of both enjoying copious foot pointing. Maybe hunting is the best bet (straight lines mostly on soft ground in winter), especially without jumping, as a way to enjoy riding with the lowest chance of soundness issues showing up (but it's not for me as I'm too much of a fair weather rider).

I think this approach could be used pragmatically and sensibly by many people, especially thise with no time and goal driven agenda. I have heard of pro's who allegedly could 'ride a horse sound' Was that by teaching the horse to move correctly, by freeing up blocks, or by pushing them trough pain and hanging on to their heads??? Jean Luc Cornille has some interesting (though at times a bit inpenetrable)essays on this.


But I also think this approach could be open to abuse by a a few people. Oh, he's not that bad, I'll ride him through it

 

[babymare]

Do you know it’s ok to say I still love horses and want to be involved (this forum is the best) but not ride or own. When my last girl went 9 years ago I know there would be no more. Yes I occasionally think “maybe I could” but head says no. I don’t miss the commitment. I don’t miss the bad bank account and I don’t actually miss owning or riding. You guys give me that fix with posts and pictures

 

[ycbm]

. I have heard of pro's who allegedly could 'ride a horse sound' Was that by teaching the horse to move correctly, by freeing up blocks, or by pushing them trough pain and hanging on to their heads???

Maybe. But most I've seen do it by not listening when the horse tried to tell them that they were in pain and riding until the horse resigned itself to the situation. When it would then follow both a rhythm imposed by the rider and its own genetic programming not to show that it was lame because the lame horse would be the lion's breakfast in the wild.
.

 

[Tarragon]

I agree with Jules!
I am 61 years old, and still reasonably fit. Riding, Pilates and general lifestyle keeps me going.
I know my limitations (especially the usual ones associated with 3 pregnancies!) and I work within them.
I certainly wouldn't pass the human equivalent of a vet test, and I wouldn't be able to (or want to!) run a marathon, and I wake up with some aches and pains on some mornings, but loads of life yet!
So, be kind to your horses and listen to them, and be realistic

 

[eahotson]

Being realistic. That's one of the keys I think.

 

[sportsmansB]

When I feel like this I try and do something that reminds me of why I enjoy riding still - normally for me that's a riding holiday (but I appreciate that's not feasible for everyone) but I have also done a 2 hour xc ride, had a school master lesson, etc
When I get excited about that and enjoy it it relights the flame a bit for me. I had one die (my absolute hero horse) and one retire in 3 years so I feel your pain

 

[Polos Mum]

I usually start to feel like this at this time of year (ridden for 35 years and kept them at home for 18).

I have found if I have a self imposed 'break' a riding holiday for my horse then by the time I allow myself to ride again I'm really keen and that keenness lasts until the weather is better.

I've had old and young horses and never found any of them had a problem with 4-6 weeks off (with 24/ 7 turnout).

I sometimes don't go in the school for months - it's a fun hobby after all so if it's not fun - we don't do it !
My horses don't know what they could be doing, and I don't care.

I have lots of 'helpful people' tell me XYZ should be doing this or that - I just smile and nod ! I'm currently enjoying taking mine for walks in hand - I'd be rich if I had £1 for every time someone has said "you know you're supposed to be riding it love" - or similar.

I don't care, I'm doing what I enjoy to no detriment to the ponies.

 

[Birker2020]

This will be a long post so apologies...
In the last 10 yrs nearly every horse I have bought has been pts. That includes the couple I have sold. It's been heart breaking. I'm going to list them as I want people to understand the point of this post.
One was lost to old age, one to SI problems aged 10. One through cancer aged 8, another due to conformation issues aged 7. One through sycamore poisoning aged 4. Two had major tendon issues. Worst of all was the mare I had bred that I had to have pts aged 7 due to navicular.
When I lost my homebred I went and bought a Welsh Sec D mare. My reasoning was she was 7, very low mileage and native - so hopefully resilient. I also decided that I was no longer chasing any goals and I just wanted something I could enjoy. I love mares and don't mind feisty. We are 18 months on and she has arthritis in both front feet and her hocks.
Before 2013 I had owned 3 horses and they had all been from youngsters to old age and had no issues. I have worked with horses for over 30 yrs and never known this amount of sadness (although I hear more and more that others have)
The point of my post is I am losing the love of riding. I don't want to put the emotional input into another horse that could go wrong. I know I should be schooling the Welshy but I go in the school and just want to turn round and come out again. I still love teaching and running my yard but never imagined a day when I really didn't want to ride and that's how I've felt for a while.
Has any one been through this and have any advice? I am so close to giving up riding

Yes I lost 4, one after the other in just under 7 years. It was heartbreaking, soul destroying and incredibly hard, they were all physically well looking, I had an injury on a fun ride that couldn't be saved, a broken leg whilst loose in the field, a heart attack while loose in the field, and a wobblers horse that couldn't be treated. Prior to the first one I had a mare briefly for three months but we sold her as a brood mare, she had KS. The sixth one Bailey, I managed to hang onto for nearly 17 years, was 24 when pts. Then I bought Lari, I rode him 15 times since owning him and he was unrideable with many physical issues that can't be treated, so he is at retirement.

I will never give up my dream, there are many years left of me riding and every part of my life is geared up to another horse to look after and love and compete eventually.
If its in your blood you can't ever give up hope, or that's the way I look at it anyway.