I'm scared of my horse!

A

AJmoss

Member
Joined
20 March 2008
Messages
26
Location
South Lincs
Visit site
I bought my horse on 1st March. He was advertised as '100% bombproof', 'anyone can ride him' etc. I rode him before I bought him and he seemed to be just what I wanted - calm, quiet. I am a novice after having a 20 yr break from horses. I told the girl this when I went to look at him and she said he would be fine for me. A few weeks on he began to show signs of 'misbehaving' - he would try and lead me wherever he wanted to go (he is a strong 16.3hh). I got in touch with a behaviorist and he gave me some exercises to do with him. he seemed to respond well to these if he and I were alone without distractions, but if the other horse who is stables next to him was there, then he would ignore me and I would become invisible again. Yesterday we put my horse in the same paddock as the other gelding. The other gelding is a 20 yr old amiable chap without a bad bone in his body. All seemed good until later in the afternoon we happened to see my gelding 'attacking' the other gelding. He was like a thing posessed - he was literally on top of him biting, pawing at him and chasing him from one end of the paddock to another over and over again. When we managed to get a gate between them the older horse was almost on his knees and I think if we hadn't been there my horse would've killed the other one. This was yesterday and today he has been running up and down the fence all day, not interested in grazing, just bothered where the other gelding is. It's really knocked my confidence and I don't feel comfortable around him. I phoned the girl I bought him off who said she'd love to have him back but she doesn't have the money. What can I do? I've been crying for the past 24 hours since it all happened. I've been told by the owner of the stables to get rid of him, but I don't know how. He's lovely looking and he may be ok with someone stronger, but that's not me.
 
Oh dear I feel for you I really do - is there anyone at your livery yard who can help bolster your confidence for a while.
I have a big horse 16.3+ and I know how scary it is when they play up - but you have to be boss, its uneqivocal. Can you get some lessons with him with a local instructor to help you?
 
Get some help and get him sold!
frown.gif
 
How much did you pay for him? how much would you be willing to accept back? How old is the horse? pm me if you would prefer...
 
Post on www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk website and see what suggestions there are.

You HAVE to be the leader. That doesn't mean beating him or being nasty, but if you don't take the lead, he will (as you have found out.)

As for attacking the other horse, maybe it is spring in the air/hormones. Some geldings are more stallion-like than others.

"I would love to have him back but haven't the money" is a pretty standard reply. Was it a private purchase or from a dealer. There is more protection from a dealer, as you can say " it is not as described" if not suitable for a novice owner.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Which dealer did you buy him from??

[/ QUOTE ]


If it's a dealer......then this poor girl has been given the impression it was a private sale,by how it is expressed in the post!
 
I didn't pay much for him, £2200. He was worryingly underweight when I bought him, but the vet said he'd be fine afer putting on some. He came with a KWPN passport which I found out at a later date wasn't his. The ex owner managed to get hold of his real one.
 
If he was bought from a private home it is a little more difficult but you still have rights, did you keep the advert stateing he is quiet for a novice? did you get something signed to this effect? your other option is to get a professional rider to assess him and if they feel you have been sold something not true to description then you have a claim, this can go through small claims court if he was less than £5k. You need to seek proffesional advice. Tell the girl you bought him off that you are going to speak to your solicitor and that may be enough to scare her into taking him back. I will just point out that you have only had him a short time and it does take them quite a bit longer to settle in to their new homes, I have a newish horse (5months) that is still unpredictable to ride but I know he will come good as he is improving each month. I truely believe it can take up to a year for them to really settle, however, you will not be able to get your money back if you leave it any longer. The courts usually allow 6-8wks for a private sale and 3 months for a dealer although I was told by an equine solicitor (where my sister works) that they have made claims of up to a year before now. Good luck
 
i didnt read everything i will be honest, but if your scared of him sell him, its extremly hard to go back once youve got to the point tht your actually scared of your horse!
frown.gif


send him to a yard tht can sort him out and sell him on, get yourself something tht is a pleasure to own, its a hobby, you must enjoy it, and dont see it as failure, not every one gets on, there will be a horse out there for you.
grin.gif


ok, i decided to read your post in full now, hes a big lad! is this first time hes done anything like tht? if he's not been agressive with you could you find somewhere where he could have individual turnout, and you get some lessons?
 
I don't think she is a dealer. She's offered to come and ride him for me and try and sort him out, but I can't get near him on the ground. Given the mental state he's in, he'd trample me in a heartbeat!
 
I had to threaten her with a solicitor's letter in order to get his real passport. I contacted Trading Standards yesterday and they advised me to write a letter and what wording to use etc. I have given my solicitor this info today and he is going to write to her. As I mentioned before, I can't keep him as stable owner has told me to get rid.
 
I'm sorry to hear this. There is something suspicious here..... I wonder if he was very underweight when you bought him because she kept him half starved in order to keep him manageable. Suddenly he is on decent food and he has reverted to type. He was also very cheap for a so called 'bombproof' novice ride. They are worth a fair bit of money.
Please seek some professional help - where exactly are you based - PM me if you prefer. I would also call this lady again and say you are seeking legal advice. The fact that she initially supplied him with the wrong passport is also a worrying sign.....
 
can you not move yards? I wouldnt sell my horse because someone told me to. Is individual turn out poss? And how about walking him out in his bridle for a while?
 
Get the behaviourist back out, try and understand why he is behaving like this. If you feel that he is too much for you then sell him. If you are scared of him the problems could escalate, and you could have a huge problem on your hands, he's a big boy! Its not fair when you have spent 20years out of horses to have to deal with a problem horse, at this stage you want a calm quiet convidence giver, if your scared of the horse then he isn't a convidence giver. I hope this helps Izzi xx
 
Is he having a lot of feed and getting above himself .
How long did the previous owner have him and was he out with other horses .Weird about the passport ,if it was a genuine private home!
My horse [ who we bred] is not to be trusted in a field with anyone but his mare ,who is not his mum but he has been with her all his life.
I feel for you but you will have a problem selling as you know about these problems,try to send back or sell to a dealer, maybe get your vets advice if he vetted for you.
 
I think it sounds like he has begun to take the mickey a bit. I woudl get the old owner up to ride him and see what she says as he may revert to his old behaviour with you.
If you were thinking of selling him this would be a positive as it would suggest that you could safely sell him to someone more experienced.
Also the fact she is offering to come ride him is positive as she is not just washing her hands of him.
It sounds to me like you just are not confident, perhaps get an instructor or experienced person out to help you with him as it also sounds very recent, he is probably just testing the boundaries.
 
I'm really sorry to hear that.

I know how heartbreaking it is, but I would be inclined to advertise him for sale and find yourself something a bit smaller and more laid back. If he scares you, that doubt about him will always be there at the back of your mind, he knows it and will take advantage of you. ALWAYS probably.

Good luck.
 
I will email the behaviorist tonight and hopefully get him back to take a look. It's not as if he's a young horse, he's 12. Thank you everyone for your advice and concern!
 
I'm so sorry to hear this it must be awful. I don't really have any advice, except that I'm a novice owner and although George (also 16.3) is a star he can take the pee sometimes. It has taken me months to learn to be firm and consistent with him even when he is his usual saintly self. I also have a lovely instructor who is happy for me to phone / email if I have a problem and talking it through helps me.
 
For a while why don't you take the old owner up on her offer? You haven't had him very long and it took my horse longer than that to settle in.( still i sometimes wonder what the hell i have done) How was he kept before-alone or with company, maybe he was just not used to having another horse in with him?
I got back into riding after a long break and thought i was fine then suddenly after a while horses started behaving more and doing as i asked and i realized it was proberbly actually me giving off vague signals that they were able to pick up on and use to their advantage. A good RI will help with on ground issues aswell as ridden. Take the owner up on her offer and see how he behaves around her.
The very best of luck- I hope it all works out for you xx
 
I would definitely get his ex owner over to help sort him out as opposed to paying anyone else just yet. After all it’s not like you’ve bought a £500. project horse, you have spent enough money for him to be a reasonably safe animal, let her help you, if he doesn’t improve then make a decision whether you like him enough to pay for outside help and persevere with him or just to sell him to someone more suitable.
Granted it does sound a little like you may need to be a more assertive with him but its definitely help that you need with him not an ultimatum to get shut of him, however if you feel that he’s not the horse for you, you’d be well within your rights to walk away from this now before you loose any more confidence.
 
Caveat emptor - you have a lot fewer rights with a private seller than with a dealer....and you have had him for 8 weeks...and bought him for comparatively little.
I don't think taking legal action will do much for you except increase your stress levels....
I suggest you either send him away to be sold, or get a riding instructor to help you with him....
Good luck either way.
S
grin.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
Caveat emptor - you have a lot fewer rights with a private seller than with a dealer....and you have had him for 8 weeks...and bought him for comparatively little.
I don't think taking legal action will do much for you except increase your stress levels....
I suggest you either send him away to be sold, or get a riding instructor to help you with him....
Good luck either way.
S
grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]
I agree with getting an instructor,although he a big lad he only doing what they all do in a new home(try you out)!!!
depending on how much confidence you have lost it is possible to get it back,sounds like you just need some experienced help!!
smile.gif
 
A behaviourist is a great idea....also maybe a good instructor but I would do the behaviourist first.
I lost my confidence and then my husband bought me a 16hh horse as a surprise...his owner had not ridden him for ages due to losing his confidence so he did play up with me for the first month or so in having him.
It took me about a year to get a really good bond with him....
I had a good instructor come down and give me some lessons and she really built my confidence and made me realise that he wasnt being nasty, he was just being lazy and trying it on....
I use all gentle but firm approaches with my horses and it seemed to work...
A natural halter is also a good way of having control and a chifney...
Do you have any friends who could come along and support you...I know it is scary when the horse is playing on your nerves anyhow so having someone else coming along and helping with give you support and build your confidence...
I would start from the basics again...and then re-train him in an arena....get some of that energy off of him...I wouldnt ride him until you have all your confidence back...
Can he just have a seperate field...? He might have been out with others in the past and is missing them or having issues settling in....
sounds like he is angry about something....
Get a behaviourist out....
Good luck
 
I would say don't bother wasting money with a behaviourist or an instrutor.

Seems you have simply been unfortunate to buy a horse that ultimately is not for you. It happens - and is sad when it does. It's not your fault in any way.

Sounds like the horse is now getting plenty of grub, grass and attention and is showing his true colours. Not necessarily bad colours - just not those suitable for a novice owner.

Advertise him for sale today.
 
why not get the owner to ride him for you but also advertise him then when people come to see him she can show him to them for you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top