I'M SO CROSS I'M SPITTING BLOOD - long rant sorry

God I'm SO CROSS, and I mean really furious. The long and short of it is that my groom quit today, well actually her mother quit for her. Now I know you can't make people happy and that if they aren't happy then everything and anything that you've done for them while they worked for you really doesn't count for much but its the way she's behaved that really p*sses me off.

Basically, she had a fab job, flexible hours, own horse at the yard kept for free, a really good salary, lots of perks, I kitted her out (hunt coat, hacking jacket, boots) and introduced her to hunting which she loved so she came out almost weekly on one of my ponios, opportunities to compete, me happy to take her and her own horse out even when I wasn't going in the first place, lent her the money for a new saddle which hasn't been repaid fully yet, blah blah.

Suddenly she has some contraceptive implant taken out of her arm and from then on she was all over the place, down in the dumps, lack of concentration etc and I let her get on with it until last week when she was really peculiar so asked her what was up? She broke down in tears, said she didn't know if she was coming or going, felt blue etc. I packed her off home, with my best wishes, told her to go to the doctor, let it all out, stay home for a day or two and get sorted. I did add that if she felt she didn't want to come back in time then she had to tell me asap so I could keep any eye out for a replacement (now I know that sounds heartless but this is a job looking after animals and their needs don't wait, she was in quite a state, and I had my suspicions that she had been looking around).

So doctor signs her off for a week. Bad timing for me but if she needs the time then that's fine. I stay in touch with supportive texts etc. I am also taking care of her horse during this time, with no words of thanks or enquiry that the horse is ok. Suddenly the horse has found a loan home and is off, due to be collected tomorrow pm. Lo and behold I get a text saying that the horse is going today (when I'm not there) and that she is coming in to sort through her stuff. Ok, that's fine, she can sort that out and she's due back to work tomorrow so hoping for a fresh start.

I get back this pm and she's pretty much stripped bare all her possessions from the yard, all bar her own wheelbarrow and fork. So I texted to say that it looked as though she had packed and left? And that she needed to ring to let us know what her situation now was (in light of a 2nd doctor's note for the upcoming week which was tucked under the yard kettle).

She texted back that the loan chap had wanted all the horse's kit (and we're talking tonnes of it, and incidentally her hat and boots too?!) and there was no point in her keeping it! X

I repeated that she needed to contact us (my mother actually who does the PAYE etc) and give her an update.

Next thing her mother rings my mother and says that the girl has now given up horses and riding and wouldn't be coming back and her notice has now been handed in...she won't be working the notice...she's just too fragile to talk to anyone in person...and by the way she still has stuff to collect from the yard (is that why she's still kept the tackroom/ yard keys do you think?

Now, back to the first paragraph about you can't make people happy and what you've done for them in the past doesn't count for much in the end.....BUT I just can't believe that she didn't have the decency to pick up the phone or text to let us know, she was happy to let the doctor keep signing her off and even when challenged tonight she still didn't stump up and tell us and resorted to getting her mum to do it (this girl is 20...). Thank god I haven't taken the plunge and bought the 3 horse lorry I've been looking at so that we could include her horse when we go off on adventures...but I am left with my daughter's hunting pony that I bought a year before I needed it so that this girl could hunt it this season and have a great time, which now doesn't have a job for a year and nobody to ride it.

MANNERS - WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? And that's why I have that particular phrase below my siggie.

So that's my rant, If you are still awake I'll send over some champage!
 
The_Henmeister: That's just what I was thinking
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Unfortunately there are some people that are just like that and her mother is not helping her. If that was mine when I was that age I would have been made to speak to you in person.
 
sounds like she is having some major problems etc BUT how rude not to ring and explain
she could have at least said "look im having problems and dont feel that i can come back. im really sorry about this" so that you could have looked for someone else
i will come and work for you as it sounds like a fab job!
 
I was just about to say the same thing as the_Henmeister!

She's mad jacking in that job.
Just don't be so nice and caring for the next one that comes along. Some of them are out for as much as they can get.
 
You poor thing - you sound like a lovely boss! Now i dont work around horses or anything, but i wish my bitch of a boss was like you!!

I think its such a shame though that people cant have the courtesy to be upfront and sounds like her mother certainly doesnt help the situation! Hopefully though you will find an even better replacement, and be thankful that she has gone!
 
It is rude and i can see why you are angry but is there any chance this girl could be seriously ill? It may be that she has had some sort of breakdown and actually genuinely is struggling to talk to anyone.

Or maybe her parents have just made all the decisions for her and she is too mentally stressed to argue?
 
Coming from a person who had the implant I did seriously mess me up but I still don't feel that it is an excuse not to have some common curtiousy left and to talk or even text you. Granted things sound like they are hard for her right now but even so a 2 minute phone call wouldn't have killed her.
Sounds like you gave her a fantastic job, I would kill to have a job like that.
I hope you find a suitable replancement soon.
 
There are many possibilities here, one that she's had a mental breakdown and that her mother is trying to help her, and another is that she's pregnant?? (a reason for giving up riding, why she's been so ill etc?)

A bit rude to not discuss anything with you and leave you in the lurch....
 
Looks like you are going to have a long queue at the door for that job lol.
Sorry, it hasn't worked out and I am sure you will have someone soon who will appreciate having such a good job.
I think you will find that when she manages to get herself together, you will get a visit or a call from her to apologise for it all. I think most people would see how good you were to work for and sounded more of a friend than a boss.
Good luck
 
OMG!!! What a way to treat a fantastic employer - sounds like a dream job for anyone who wants to work with horses. I hope you find someone suitable really soon!
 
I was thinking along the lines of 'pregnant' too Yorkshire lass!lol

Ooh and can you add me to your shortlist too!lol
 
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She's mad jacking in that job.
Just don't be so nice and caring for the next one that comes along. Some of them are out for as much as they can get.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh no, please do be as nice.
She's pregnant or had a breakdown, and her mother is probably worried sick, and too scared to face you, because she knows they're letting you down.
Rise above it and stay nice. Look, you have a queue for the job already, it sounds a super, wonderful job.

Don't let it make you a less wonderful employer than you are! There's a shortage of great employers, and a shortage of great grooms - it should be our mission to pair them up
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We've been in the same boat as you so many times over the last few years that we thought people would think we must be difficult to work for. They've been on jobseekers allowance and not told us and just failed to come to work when their six months is up, started work and then admitted to being 4 months pregnant when they've only been here 4 weeks to give just a few examples.

We tried a lad the last time, great for basic yard duties but useless around horses or tack. I persevered for a whole year trying to teach him things and having to check everything behind him. He couldn't even be trusted to put a girth on a saddle properly when I was standing at the other side of the horse. But he was reliable, turned in every day dead on time. so I made allowances. The last straw came when he c--ked up loading a horse by rushing it and getting on the wrong side of it inside the lorry. Paid £60 for someone to come and sort it out and the very next day, just 22 hours later he made the self same c--k up again

So this one's had the sack. We don't know what it's like to have someone who can actually ride, I've long since given up on that one.They usually have high opinions of their capabilities.

We treat them as family, feed them give them outings and holidays with us as well as their paid holidays and I think £8 an hour part time for 30 hours a week is good pay for a groom, although I've had them come for interviews wanting £15 an hour. I've provided a horse to ride and for competition and given free dressage lessons to boot so it's been a much bigger package than the £240 they earn. I've yet to find one who is both capable and reliable, it seems the two don't go together. You can have one or the other but not both.

I hope you can find someone with good old fashioned values. If you find two send one my way. Good luck.
 
That's a shocking way to behave! I'm guessing this was her first job?

Incidentally, I left my job 6 weeks ago so am free to start whenever you need me
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ETA, I don't plan on getting pregnant, ever!
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Hormones! They have a lot to answer for!

Yep, probably pregnant.
Pregnant and head up backside with not too many neurones firing in the correct way.
I hope she sorts herself out soon, but some common courtesy would go a long way.
I guess you just have to blame her hormones...

Hope you find a replacement soon!
 
Where my horse is now, great place, nice people, the YO's sister said to me the first week I was there, don't bother learning the groom's names because they change so often....

I now after 6 months see where she is coming from, but I do still learn the groom's names.
 
Ok, I've cooled down now, and all your flattering words have helped!

I do think that the implant removal is largely to blame for her state of flux and did suggest she asked the doc for a different contraceptive pill etc, she did go onto one after the implant so doubt she is pregnant - and when i think of all the times I sat with her over a cup of tea and gave her relationship guidance I would be surprised if she was that intimate with her bf anyway - but those of us who have been married and divorced know that's not always the case! I just think the mother hasn't pointed her in the right direction on this one.

I also fully appreciate that when in a mess like she is, the last thing you often manage to do is handle things correctly...but as you generally all have said, a text wouldn't have been too much to ask, especially when I gave her a perfect chance to do so and she still made out like she was coming back!

Anyway, yes hopefully I'll find a new girl soon, or even a couple of girls to job share as I generally am about and get stuck in when things are out of hours etc. I've placed an ad tonight, obviously not guaranteeing hunting etc, and am hoping that some angel will appear and sort it all out for me - let's not hope I have horror stories like those on here with their buying/selling nightmares.

And this time, I'm not going to be such a pal and I'll keep the boss/employee line more defined I think!

PS sorry to disappoint, but I'm in East Sussex!

THANKS GUYS, INTERLFORA ON THEIR WAY
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Damn!! I want that job and I'll fight anyone to get it!!
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I agree, there is NO excuse for a basic lack of common courtesy. No matter how embarrassed I was I'd let my employer know what was what, especially one who has been as accomodating as you have!
 
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