I'M SO CROSS I'M SPITTING BLOOD - long rant sorry

Don't be too hard on her.
I know it's rude not to be in touch but it does sound like she has had a breakdown or something.
Sounds like she had a fab job too.
 
*rolls up sleeves*
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You're cruisin' for a bruisin' missy!!
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She's pregnant or had a breakdown, and her mother is probably worried sick, and too scared to face you, because she knows they're letting you down.

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Yup!
 
I would imagine this girl is just to frightened to tell you in person, especially if you have done alot for her, dont worry you will soon find another groom, her problems could be far worse than yours.
 
Can I come and have her job it sounds great! I have been i similar situation in the past(like your ex groom) and handled it badly myself, if only I come tell this girl how much it affects you in the future for employment, I still have not come out of the unemployment doldrums and am now totally regretting my actions, I've learnt my lesson I can tell you. Hopefully one day she will too.
Hope you get a replacement soon.
Did I mention how much I'd love to go hunting ?
 
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Ooops forgot the whole point of me posting on this thread...

Yoink

Champagne and Interflora all for me since nobody else has bagged them!
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I'd definitely change the lock too "just in case". Sounds like she is having some kind of breakdown. She is going to kick herself walking away from everything you had going for her I am sure.

Where do we send our CV's?!!!
 
Welcome to the world of employing people. I am afraid this happens all the time in the real world. You must always be prepared and have a second bow to your string as far as staff are concerned. Put it down to experience. Get advertising for a new member of staff.

Ask her for her written resignation in writing as otherwise you may end up paying for her maternity leave or worse unfair dismissal or even worse having to keep her job open until she has her baby (if that is the case) and then having to re-employ her. You may need some employment law advice if she does not give you her resignation in writing.
 
Advertising in Friday-Ad...

Incidentally, if any of you have groom type jobs, what would be considered a good hourly wage?

Also forgot to mention that when it's a dull day and energy is low, I often say "right, time to go to the pub for lunch but first let's hit the tack shops for a mooch".....thinking about starting an auction for the job!

Bless the lot of you!
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So if she was pregnant then, you wouldnt expect her employer to pay her her rightfull maternity leave then? What a lovely attitude that is!!
 
erm .. not if she quit without notice, no.
different matter if she had come to her employer and either worked her notice or had a doctors certificate saying the pregnancy was high risk and she was unable to work. Sounds to me as if this employer would willingly have played ball, payed maternity and employed a temp to keep her job open, if she had behaved accordingly.
Poor girl, we've already got the kid in nursery, and for all we know, she's just had a funny turn!
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It's always sad when what seems to be a good working relationship ends on a sour note. But that's life.

You sound angry and hurt - but something pretty major seems to have happened to this girl, so I wouldn't be too hard on her.
 
stupid girl, I feel bad for her if there is a real problem, but I think she'll regret walking out on a job like that! From the sounds of it I think I should jack in my job and come and work for you!!
 
If you quit verbally then do you still have to hand in a letter of resignation
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I think the girl has been very silly over this. After all angelbones, you don't exactly come across as the boss from hell that CL has and to most of us the working conditions sound like heaven
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By removing her horse and all her personal effects from the yard I would say as far as she's concerned she no longer works for you so why is she handing in sick notes? Do you pay her sick pay? If so and she doesn't work for you any more why are you paying her sick pay?
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Where do I send my CV which has absolutely NO horsey qualifications on it but plenty of office skills
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Gosh I'd of killed for a job like that when I was 20!, grooming for someone, hunting/competing, someone to look up, take you under their wing and go off for days doing what you enjoy!!! I'd of been like a pig in sh*t lol
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but maybe she's having some kind of break down, maybe in a few months she will realise what she has done, what she has lost and feel pretty bad by the way she went about it all....who knows, yes she's certainly treated you with no respect and having to get her poor mother doing the ringing about and explaining things...but you never really know what is going on in somenes head, perhaps she has put a brave face on for a long time and pretended to everyone that everything was ok and she was happy.
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As long as you know you didn't do anything to upset her or bring it on, hold you head up high and find someone else who will jump at the chance of working for you so you can become a good working team again.
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QR to be honest I think people are being too hard on the girl in question.
Now while angelbones may seem a really nice person, genuine and all that and the job sound fantastic. Her reaction on this thread in public suggests to me that this could be partly the reason why this girl never spoke in person who could not even text, because she was too afraid.
Maybe she was scared of angelbones?
Maybe she was too fragile that she feared she may get talked into staying in a job she no longer wanted or could cope with.
She may even have been too scared to say so in person as she had so much guilt for letting people down. I know there have been times in my life when I have had to say I am going or moving on and have dreaded saying it to the very people whom I liked.
Has anyone ever thought she may even have some serious condition like CANCER, it does happen to the young you know.
We all have secrets. There are things I would not even tell my best mate or partner to be honest.
Why should this young lady be so different?
She may even be pregnant as others have suggested which was what I first though when reading through the thread. She could be pregnant and doesn't know what to do, go through with it or terminate?
She could have had a breakdown.
I have had two in my life and so can wholly understand the thought processes involved. You either want to explode or else feel totally numb, totally oblivious to the world and everything that it entails.
Even now when I have what I call bad days I ignore people even friends and family. I just don't want to speak. I have nothing to say at all. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. I don't want people to speak to me because I don't want to talk back. I either feel that low or else have no impulsion to drive a conversation. Being usually a good talker, my partner knows when I am having a bad day.
Maybe this lady is having a breakdown. We all deal with it in our own way.
Sadly people around us may not even know we are having a breakdown or feeling depressed, or even have the comprehension to understand what it all means. I mean really means and not some stereotyped condition/behaviour as dreamed up by the media and other individuals. Depression is far deeper than that. It is not a quick fix situation. You cannot just take pills or go and have a chat to a CPN and it will all go away. It really does not work like that at all.
Only the other day a friend who has feelings of depression and being low etc was told by one GP to go out and buy or read a book by Paul McKenna. How professional was that? If some GP's cannot even grasp the meaning of the word depression then what chance does Joe Public have of doing so.
Like I have said don't be too hard on her. She has her reasons. It would have been better if she could have said so in person but she didn't. Maybe in time she will.
I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt until I see they are p**s taking and then my attitude changes. I think this lady should be given that chance.
Yes you are angry about it all I can understand that but please try to be a little more understanding of her situation. As others have said her situation at the moment MAY be far worse than your own.
 
agree with staffoatcake - after she did behave so nicely for so long give her the benefit of the doubt, leave a message saying you arent cross you want to chat and see how you get on. even say that to the mum.
 
Sounds to me like this young lady is having some kind of a crisis and probably is depressed.
The fact that she was crying/all over the place would suggest that she was not making this sickness up.
She obviously (for whatever reason) did not feel up to facing you and explaining her leaving.
I expect she is also being influenced/affected by other people - her mother, partner etc. If she is feeling especially weak I guess that could make her more vulnerable to other people's direction.
It is sad though when you give you all to someone and you go out of your way to help and it seemingly gets totally abused. (And you have been very generous many many times by the sound of it). I just think you perhaps have to take into account how she may be at present - Although it is difficult to understand the situation when there is no contact.
Very difficult. I would be very cross too, but reading between the lines there is more going on here I think???
 
If all of the above is so, then of course, the poor girl deserves our sympathy.
However, she (or someone) seems to have been together enough to talk to the person to whom she loaned her horse, and to collect all her stuff quite cannily.
Someone, somewhere is coping - if it is the mother, what's her excuse for having no manners?
 
I dont think you should be too hard on this girl. you sound like a wonderful employer and it sounds like a great job but I cant help thinking that if everything was fine and then suddenly this girl was so unhappy, getting rid or her horse, too insecure to face you then she must have had serious problems. I feel really sorry for her. People dont just change suddenly (like horses) unless there is something really wrong.
I also think that perhaps you should be a little less emotionally attached next time, remember its a business agreement between yourself and your staff I would keep to the perks set out in your contract... for instance when I worked in my insurance job I would never have expected to be lent money by my boss! even though we got on, the relationship wasnt like that.
Also this is a rare situation and im pretty sure if your next stable hand leaves, they'll give you notice.
 
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