Im trying to help her out!!

ShowJumperBeckii

ShowJumperBeckii

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so this girl at my yard is 12 and im helping her with jumping ect
i know the basics [whats shes doing atm] and stuff people on here and in lessons i learnt but the thing is she ingores me?
i say dont jump that jump so she goes and jumps it?
and tbh she has no control i shout at her 'GET CONTROL' she gallops off around the corner ingoring me?

what would you do, im trying to help her because she wants to start competing? we are only doing smiple x polls but shes so rude she turns her back and starts showing off?
i dont want to stop helping cause incase she gets hurt?
 
Stop helping her. Simples! Sit her down, tell her what will happen if this behaviour carries on (i.e. you'll stop helping her) and go through with it is she continues.

Sounds like you're wasting your time with her!
 
Is she your responsibility? If not, then personally, I would stop helping her! I can see she'll hurt herself when your teaching her, and she'll just blame you.
Tell her unless she is prepared to listen and learn then you don't want anything more to do with her!

she sounds like a liability!
 
ahem. Did she ask for your help?
Are you a qualified instructor?
Do her parents know you are 'helping' her.
And are you CRB checked.

Cos if no to the above, I'd probably leave it if I were you, or you could be in a lot of trouble, just through trying to help.
 
well first of all - does she really want your help? If she doesn't then she isn't going to listen to you really is she?

If she doesn't want your help then leave well alone, if she does then you have to come up with a better way of 'helping' than shouting GET CONTROL. Maybe if you tried to explain how she can be more controlled you would have a better outcome
 
skewbald_again said:
ahem. Did she ask for your help?
Are you a qualified instructor?
Do her parents know you are 'helping' her.
And are you CRB checked.

Cos if no to the above, I'd probably leave it if I were you, or you could be in a lot of trouble, just through trying to help.
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yes she ask for a some mini tips and advice, no im not a intrustor but its just for a bit off help
 
Very frustrating.

Did she ask you to help?

I'd be tempted to ask her why did you jump that? Did you not hear me? Give her a chance to concentrate but don't let me take advantage.

At the end of the day you are doing her a favour so she should have a little respect and acknowledge you. If she disagrees with what you are saying then maybe she should have a lesson with an instructor - maybe she'd listen more?

But, perhaps she doesn't know exactly how to do what you are saying? Maybe rather than 'Get Control' you could say 'ok, shorter your reins up, sit back, turn him in a circle, etc etc. Or perhaps I've misread and you were paraphrasing?

Sounds like the pony may be quite strong so maybe she's not being given that much of an option by the pony? Or perhaps I'm giving her too much credit??!

Either way I'd be very miffed if I was giving my time up and trying to help and she was being rude and ignoring me.
 
I would leave her to it to be honest. I was once asked to help a girl of a similar age (just basic things as I was also schooling her pony), she listened for a while and then stopped. I carried on schooling the pony as her mum hoped the daughter would look and learn but she never really seemed to.
 
suzi said:
Very frustrating.

Did she ask you to help?

I'd be tempted to ask her why did you jump that? Did you not hear me? Give her a chance to concentrate but don't let me take advantage.

At the end of the day you are doing her a favour so she should have a little respect and acknowledge you. If she disagrees with what you are saying then maybe she should have a lesson with an instructor - maybe she'd listen more?

But, perhaps she doesn't know exactly how to do what you are saying? Maybe rather than 'Get Control' you could say 'ok, shorter your reins up, sit back, turn him in a circle, etc etc. Or perhaps I've misread and you were paraphrasing?

Sounds like the pony may be quite strong so maybe she's not being given that much of an option by the pony? Or perhaps I'm giving her too much credit??!

Either way I'd be very miffed if I was giving my time up and trying to help and she was being rude and ignoring me.
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soo annoying,
no i tell her sit up streight dont pull so hard on his mouth, shes jankin it off and today she was hitin with a whip then telling him off for going faster
yes i have told her MILLIONS of times to sit up straight stop leaning ect but no after every jump she just gallops around in her jumping postion and wonders why the pony goes fast?
hes not as long as you know what you what he will do it the only problem is the opens hes mouth ALOT coz shes pulling so hard

yes i might no bother anymore i just fell like shes being rude and i dont want to bother with her
 
thing is if she breaks her neck doing something stupid and tells her parents you were 'helping' her, her parents (who however reasonable they are will at that point be distressed beyond all sense, and looking for someone to blame/pay) will turn on you.
That is why qualified instructors have insurance, crbs etc - it's not just to protect the client, it's to protect you, and you don't have any of that protection.
 
Judging by what you've said - she's asked for your help and is now just ignoring you and being rude.

TBH I'd just say to her 'look, I'm giving up my time here, I'm willing to help but it's slightly pointless if you don't listen to what I have to say. If you want me to help then you'll need to listen to me otherwise I can't spare the time to sit here talking to myself!

It's not being rude it's stating the facts.

I'd give her one chance and then say no if she doesn't change.
 
Swift08 said:
I would leave her to it to be honest. I was once asked to help a girl of a similar age (just basic things as I was also schooling her pony), she listened for a while and then stopped. I carried on schooling the pony as her mum hoped the daughter would look and learn but she never really seemed to.
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thats why shes like
i can get on tthis pony and jump 3ft corses but she gets on him and raggs him around and wont take help from no one :confused:
 
Personally unless you're insured to give lessons I'd be very careful, she may turn around and say you told her to do something if she gets hurt.

Its very hard, but you have to learn to bite your lip and walk away, let her carry on and learn for herself, it will happen soon I expect and she'll look a right idiot if she's going to compete
 
just walk away, it's not worth the effort. If she asks again just say you don't think you can help anymore and you think she should try a qualified instructor. It was nice of you to help her but you don't need to spend your time helping someone who sounds completely ungrateful, it could be that she doesn't understand you in which case you're probably doing more harm than good but either way i'd advise her to try a qualified instructor.
 
NOISYGIRL said:
Personally unless you're insured to give lessons I'd be very careful, she may turn around and say you told her to do something if she gets hurt.

Its very hard, but you have to learn to bite your lip and walk away, let her carry on and learn for herself, it will happen soon I expect and she'll look a right idiot if she's going to compete
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thats what im worried about cause if she not going to listen somethings goin to happen and if shes ingorin me? its still going to be my fault

im going to try help her one more and if she starts ignoring me ill was walk straight out even tho if its half way thru helping her
tbh im not taking this risk x
 
I would really quit now. From what you say it seems clear that working with her isn't helping so I would leave it. Walking out is rude, explaining before why you are no longer going to be helping her isn't.
 
If you have involved yourself then expect problems.

It's not really for us to tell you what you should be telling her is it really?

Best thing you can do (for both you and this young girl) is to suggest to her to get some proper lessons, otherwise unless you have the knowledge and the qualities (teaching skills etc) of good RI, you wouldn't be coming on here asking for help.

I know your only trying to help but the best help you could give is to be mature about it and advise her to have proper lessons before there are any injuries or fall outs etc.:)
 
glosgirl said:
I would really quit now. From what you say it seems clear that working with her isn't helping so I would leave it. Walking out is rude, explaining before why you are no longer going to be helping her isn't.
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I agree with Glosgirl, stop now and tell her why, what if the one last time is the time she gets hurt ??
 
Please look at three pages worth of people telling you to stop trying to help this person. It won't be rude, as long as you explain that why, and as everyone has pointed out, teaching with no insurance or qualifications is incredibly dodgy! Seriously, stop now, not 'one more go' at all!
 
It is annoying, isnt it, when someone asks for advice and then they ignore the good advice given to them...

And shouting "Get Control" Isnt teaching... You need to teach her HOW to get the control - Try saying something like sit up and use her seat to slow down.

Not everyone does things the way you do - it can be hard trying to find simple, easy terms that everyone can understand - That is the art of teaching.

If she asked for tips I presume she meant things like walking the course and little tips such as look beyond the fence etc. not for you to actually TEACH her...
 
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