Impossible to find a sharer?!

timbobs

timbobs

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I’m in the process of looking for a sharer for my ginger ninja and have come across a range of riders! Why is it so hard to find a decent sharer?! I know they are out there, as I was one for 5 years!

My boy is lovely and is suitable for most people to ride- he has taken riders on from riding school to the point of being able to buy their own horse and has brought my own ability and confidence on so much in the last two years!

The most recent person came along saying they were a confidence novice, able to walk, trot, canter and do small jumps and looking to start sharing a horse to get a bond with a horse and take the next step up which you can’t do in riding schools. So far, so good. I am really happy to help people along and we have a great instructor on the yard. I don’t mind novices at all as that’s exactly how I was when I came to the yard for my first share- I didn’t even know how to put a headcollar on!

She turned up without a hat to ride so I leant her mine (after checking it fit!). This should have been my first warning sign! I rode for about 10min-15mins to warm up and show her that Fi is safe and sensible and she got on. Shortened the stirrups so much that her feet were just past the saddle flaps and started to walk. She couldn’t get him to trot at all so I had to get him moving from the ground. Once he was up in trot, she didn’t know how to rise at all and was bouncing everywhere.

I got her off, and got back on him to finish off the session and he behaved perfectly bless him. She was really keen to share him so I said I would speak to my YO and confirm. I agonised over the decision, but decided that she was probably too much of a beginner and needed to gain more experience having lessons on school horses first and sent her a message explaining that I didn’t think Fi would suit her at the moment and that I hoped she found something suitable. She has since put a post of FB advertising for a share again saying that she’s looking for someone who is willing to teach her and not judge her riding in the first 5 minutes and saying that people are really unfair.

It’s so frustrating to see a post like that as she is clearly not ready to be outside a riding school and is saying her abilities are more than they are. She also says she used to work on yards, but has no idea how to tie up a horse even!

Think I’ll be taking a break from sharer hunting for a while!
 
People have been passing on my details if they hear someone is looking for a share horse, but nothing has really come of it.

I'm not in desperate need, but the money would be helpful!
 
I think sometimes people over estimate their own abilities. I've very recently got a share I advertised my horse and was inundated with replies. Think the wording is crucial.
I did get a few, "just wanting to get back into riding" and "I may aswell pay for a share rather than lessons"!!
Luckily a friend of mine asked if she could share and so far it's working great.
I'd try advertising again, I pointed out how lovely my boy is and what I wanted in a sharer then shortlisted. I asked loads of questions before allowing to view, and even asked to watch them ride first.
 
Nativelover said:
I think sometimes people over estimate their own abilities. I've very recently got a share I advertised my horse and was inundated with replies. Think the wording is crucial.
I did get a few, "just wanting to get back into riding" and "I may aswell pay for a share rather than lessons"!!
Luckily a friend of mine asked if she could share and so far it's working great.
I'd try advertising again, I pointed out how lovely my boy is and what I wanted in a sharer then shortlisted. I asked loads of questions before allowing to view, and even asked to watch them ride first.
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Yes I think they do. I had a lovely girl come and see him who under-estimated her abilities and was really calm and gentle, but she ended up finding something closer to her.

The other two have sounded really nice and competent on the phone and asked the right questions and seemed like they knew what they were talking about, but just had no idea when they got here.

One even bought him polos and gave them to him without asking me which I thought was a bit rude! Luckily he's ok to have them, but what if he hadn't been?!
 
Have you done it the other way round and replied to any horse share wanted ads? equine ads (was ridemyhorse put that in google) is a good place to look/advertise and its quite cheap.
 
Think of it this way, how would you have felt if she fell off and injured herself? Or even injured your horse?

Chalk it down to experience and take it as a close call but one you escaped from unscathed...

keep looking and do analyse everything. I found the perfect sharer through word of mouth rather than online advertisements. Anything I got online turned out to be a waste of time and completely overstated their experience.
 
I think a lot of people are pretty clueless when it comes to sharing, they think it'll be cheaper or something and doesn't really matter about knowing/learning anything!

I would love to share again, have health issues stopping me from owning my own atm. Where abouts are you? X
 
kamili said:
Think of it this way, how would you have felt if she fell off and injured herself? Or even injured your horse?

Chalk it down to experience and take it as a close call but one you escaped from unscathed...

keep looking and do analyse everything. I found the perfect sharer through word of mouth rather than online advertisements. Anything I got online turned out to be a waste of time and completely overstated their experience.
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Yes that's a good way to look at it :) I'm not in a rush to find anyone so will take me time, I just want someone who is going to enjoy spending time with him and not just treat him like a machine to suit themselves!
Cobi said:
I think a lot of people are pretty clueless when it comes to sharing, they think it'll be cheaper or something and doesn't really matter about knowing/learning anything!

I would love to share again, have health issues stopping me from owning my own atm. Where abouts are you? X
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I'm in Surrey :)
 
It does seem to be slow going at the moment, I have had 610 hits for my horsemart advert looking for a sharer for my older horse, and little serious interest.

Very much think with sharers, it is worth waiting for the right one, who is a good fit. Good sharers are brilliant, but setting them up to succeed with your horses involves as fair bit of time and effort.

I'd rather carry on struggling to ride both, than have the wrong person!
 
I had a bit of a strange one myself recently where a family member wanted to share my horse. He's done his BHS stage one and claimed himself to be very competent, and has been doing lessons for years.

Roll on the day and I handed over my quiet mare and she immediately spotted something she could work to her advantage, her rider to be was too soft and let her away with murder. So anytime he lifted his foot for the stirrup, she side stepped. Anyway helped him on board and let him do his thing. the next time he tried to lunge and she was having none of it, amidst rather weak please to ah would you go on... and the pathetic shake of a stick.

I knew if I continued I would have had a horse with bad habits that could potentially get dangerous with my relative simply because he had no concept of who boss was.
I decided against taking that chance!
 
Nativelover said:
I think sometimes people over estimate their own abilities. I've very recently got a share I advertised my horse and was inundated with replies. Think the wording is crucial.
I did get a few, "just wanting to get back into riding" and "I may aswell pay for a share rather than lessons"!!
Luckily a friend of mine asked if she could share and so far it's working great.
I'd try advertising again, I pointed out how lovely my boy is and what I wanted in a sharer then shortlisted. I asked loads of questions before allowing to view, and even asked to watch them ride first.
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Is tricky. I’m looking for a sharer for an older schoolmaster, elem / medium dressage and hacking – lots to give the right person, but doesn’t suffer fools, and not really for galloping / jumping etc.

I’ve been very specific in the advert, – e.g. no one over 13 stone, no one under 18, need to have reasonable flat work skills and basic lateral work in place (though lessons available with my instructor). I’m asking for either a regular commitment to sharing chores or a financial contribution.

But then I’ve had far fewer responses, than when looking a few years ago.
 
There are good sharers out there - but there are also a lot not so great. As others have said - chalk it up to experience and keep looking. I don't personally respond to "share wanted" ads. Partly because I'm looking to share an outgrown PC schoolmaster who is too good to retire yet has a home for life and who I won't loan off yard - but he does tend to attract a lot of teens who haven't asked their parents yet. And partly because I've found they tend to have overstated their ability - although that too might be a product of the market area I'm looking into. All my sharers come by word of mouth now - but good PC ponies are like that.
 
I really feel for you! It's such a shame that people are so dishonest about their abilities. And unreliable too. I've spoken to quite a few people who have had bad experiences with loaners and sharers, and it obviously puts horse owners off. Which is such a shame because there are a lot of honest riders out there for who loaning and sharing works better for them. I hope you manage to find a sharer for your lovely horse soon ��
 
I'm a sharer and I'm always so confused when people fib about what level they are at.
If anything I try to under sell myself as I'm always useless riding a new horse in front of it's owner.
Good luck I hope you don't get too many time wasters!
 
Wizzkid said:
I'm a sharer and I'm always so confused when people fib about what level they are at.
If anything I try to under sell myself as I'm always useless riding a new horse in front of it's owner.
Good luck I hope you don't get too many time wasters!
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I don’t think many people are intentionally dishonest, but there are very different levels of capability, and understanding of capability. Some horses have a greater ability to carry passengers, and some need riding / have their own opinions / are quick judges of rider and character.

I have a greater issue with reliability and commitment, in all weathers, year round, in relation to sharers.

Am with you in terms of not being much fun riding in front of new sharers / owners.
 
Keep looking OP and you'll find the right person eventually. I think finding someone is like finding a good partner.... you have to sift your way through the bums and then the right one will pop up when you least expect it.

You sound really reasonable too, so a great owner for someone who wants to take the next step. Unfortunately people do over estimate their abilities, I don't fully understand why? And it's always everyone else's fault that it didn't work out.

I'm on my first share horse, and been riding him for two years now. I'd been at a riding school for a year & half and felt i'd exhausted my learning there and wanted to take the next step. Had helped out a couple of times at the school but didn't find them very helpful tbh. I placed an honest ad about my ability as a novice and that I was hoping someone would show me the ropes. I could tack up etc as we did that ourselves at the RS (i think a lot of places don't and just bring the horse ready?).

Tried a couple of horses who weren't right for me (one reared and one bucked me off and that one the owner was a novice herself). I basically didn't gel with them. Although it's fair to remember people will be nervous riding a new horse, so may not show their best abilities however it's easy to judge if its nerves or they're just plain terrible.

With my current share though I just got on with him instantly. And I was honest with his owner about my ability and she was willing to show me the ropes initially. Rode him in the school and out on a hack & he was fab. And that was that... two years later i'm still there and love him just as much as if he was my own horse! His owner even lets me have lessons and take him to shows.

When we won our dressage with the RC last week, his owner was thrilled and is super supportive. He's brought on my riding so much.... he's safe but has just enough cheek to keep me on my toes :)
 
gembear said:
Keep looking OP and you'll find the right person eventually. I think finding someone is like finding a good partner.... you have to sift your way through the bums and then the right one will pop up when you least expect it.

You sound really reasonable too, so a great owner for someone who wants to take the next step. Unfortunately people do over estimate their abilities, I don't fully understand why? And it's always everyone else's fault that it didn't work out.

I'm on my first share horse, and been riding him for two years now. I'd been at a riding school for a year & half and felt i'd exhausted my learning there and wanted to take the next step. Had helped out a couple of times at the school but didn't find them very helpful tbh. I placed an honest ad about my ability as a novice and that I was hoping someone would show me the ropes. I could tack up etc as we did that ourselves at the RS (i think a lot of places don't and just bring the horse ready?).

Tried a couple of horses who weren't right for me (one reared and one bucked me off and that one the owner was a novice herself). I basically didn't gel with them. Although it's fair to remember people will be nervous riding a new horse, so may not show their best abilities however it's easy to judge if its nerves or they're just plain terrible.

With my current share though I just got on with him instantly. And I was honest with his owner about my ability and she was willing to show me the ropes initially. Rode him in the school and out on a hack & he was fab. And that was that... two years later i'm still there and love him just as much as if he was my own horse! His owner even lets me have lessons and take him to shows.

When we won our dressage with the RC last week, his owner was thrilled and is super supportive. He's brought on my riding so much.... he's safe but has just enough cheek to keep me on my toes :)
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Sounds like you've got a great horse there!

I really don't mind novices as everyone needs to start somewhere and my boy is bombproof. It's just frustrating when people over-estimate their capabilities.

I'm hoping I can have a similar relationship with a sharer as you do with your horse's owner! Am totally happy for sharers to have lessons/compete etc. Just need to find the right person!
 
timbobs said:
Sounds like you've got a great horse there!

I really don't mind novices as everyone needs to start somewhere and my boy is bombproof. It's just frustrating when people over-estimate their capabilities.

I'm hoping I can have a similar relationship with a sharer as you do with your horse's owner! Am totally happy for sharers to have lessons/compete etc. Just need to find the right person!
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Thanks he's fab :) he's recently turned 20 & a sec d, he can be a scaredy pants out hacking sometimes (squirrels fart very loudly doncha know?) he never does anything out of badness. I get on with his owner really well and i'm always open and honest about everything I do which I think she appreciates.

He did have another sharer around the same time I started, and as much as she was a lovely girl she was very unreliable. That's when the owner replied to my add. The other girl would often cancel at the last minute or not turn up and the owner or the rest of the yard would have to sort him out last minute etc. I would also have gone down those days but didn't because she had already said she would be there etc so in the end the owner just gave me first dibs & eventually the other girl stopped coming.

Anyway, i digress.
Try putting an ad up in any tack shops and RC notice boards (fb?) as you might weed out a few numpties that way.
 
Oh I can relate to this!!!

I've been finding sharers for a variety of horses over the past year or so and you really get a mixed bag but inevitably everyone over-states their experience. It's not necessarily that they mean to do so. In some cases they are worried they'll be overlooked if they aren't experienced and are honest about it so they want a chance at least. But in other cases they REALLY just don't know! This is especially true of people who have only ever ridden in a riding school or had the occasional ride on their friend's bombproof pony... They don't understand that it is a totally different thing to ride a horse that is a bit sharper and sensitive and can't just be yanked about and thumped along on. I give everyone a chance - often against my better judgement, even with teenagers/kids - because I remember being a horse-obsessed little girl and how much I'd have given for the same opportunity. But the reality is that it just doesn't work out a lot of the time.

Just to make you feel a bit better, one of my recent bad experiences was believing a mum who claimed her kid was an amazing rider and progressing very fast. Comfortable in walk, trot, canter, jumping a bit and really confident to boot. When I arrived, I talked to her a little and sure enough she said she could walk, trot and canter and had just started jumping small crosspoles (ok so that was a bit less than the mum suggested but ok, still workable). Then my litmus test - had she ever done a leg yield - nope. So then I thought ok, let's see about her confidence and asked her how much she'd ridden (since young but had a long gap and just been a few months now - bad sign as she was only a kid as it was), how many times had she fallen off (once when little - bad sign; I want them to have fallen recently at that stage), was she afraid at all (definite nope, absolutely full of herself).

I put her on a pony that used to be ridden by a kid but is forward-going so does need someone capable. He immediately ran off with her. We tried again a few times after that with a different horse and she was just cantering around jerking the poor animal all over the place. Tried lessons on the original pony. Disaster there too. Fell off every time. In the end we had to just say sorry nope... And her confidence was knocked down a peg or two by then (probably a good thing mind you).

Adults aren't much better. One girl has left one of the horses totally dead to the leg after sharing (very unreliably) for a few weeks. Should have just said no to start with - big mistake on my part as she was nice and I felt sorry for her since she wasn't very confident in general and I didn't want to let her down but the horse didn't deserve to be nagged constantly and she got pretty full of it by the end. Another one was convinced she could come up with some friends, refused to even tack up the pony on the first day but wouldn't admit it was because of nerves - never even got in the saddle, that one. She also had a phenomenally bad attitude and smacked one of them for no reason so was out from that point. And all of these people presented themselves well to start with and were the best of the ones that expressed interest in some rather decent horses... Just have to be careful and be picky is the moral. Don't feel guilty at all for turning people down. In the long run they won't be happy either.
 
Barnacle said:
Oh I can relate to this!!!

I've been finding sharers for a variety of horses over the past year or so and you really get a mixed bag but inevitably everyone over-states their experience. It's not necessarily that they mean to do so. In some cases they are worried they'll be overlooked if they aren't experienced and are honest about it so they want a chance at least. But in other cases they REALLY just don't know! This is especially true of people who have only ever ridden in a riding school or had the occasional ride on their friend's bombproof pony... They don't understand that it is a totally different thing to ride a horse that is a bit sharper and sensitive and can't just be yanked about and thumped along on. I give everyone a chance - often against my better judgement, even with teenagers/kids - because I remember being a horse-obsessed little girl and how much I'd have given for the same opportunity. But the reality is that it just doesn't work out a lot of the time.

Just to make you feel a bit better, one of my recent bad experiences was believing a mum who claimed her kid was an amazing rider and progressing very fast. Comfortable in walk, trot, canter, jumping a bit and really confident to boot. When I arrived, I talked to her a little and sure enough she said she could walk, trot and canter and had just started jumping small crosspoles (ok so that was a bit less than the mum suggested but ok, still workable). Then my litmus test - had she ever done a leg yield - nope. So then I thought ok, let's see about her confidence and asked her how much she'd ridden (since young but had a long gap and just been a few months now - bad sign as she was only a kid as it was), how many times had she fallen off (once when little - bad sign; I want them to have fallen recently at that stage), was she afraid at all (definite nope, absolutely full of herself).

I put her on a pony that used to be ridden by a kid but is forward-going so does need someone capable. He immediately ran off with her. We tried again a few times after that with a different horse and she was just cantering around jerking the poor animal all over the place. Tried lessons on the original pony. Disaster there too. Fell off every time. In the end we had to just say sorry nope... And her confidence was knocked down a peg or two by then (probably a good thing mind you).

Adults aren't much better. have to be careful and be picky is the moral. Don't feel guilty at all for turning people down. In the long run they won't be happy either.
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Having learnt from experience, I wouldnt consider someone under 18 as a sharer, too many dramas, and too much hassle. I equally look for reliable committed adults, that can stick to same days each week, or plan well ahead if they cant.

I look for sharers to be solo responsible for riding decisions and chores, one end of the day, not people who need a lot of ongoing support, after setttling in. Not to say my sharers dont e.g. message me with a photo of a cut, and ask thoughts etc.

It all depends what you want from a sharer, what the sharer wants from the arrangement, and finding a good fit where all are happy. No standard arrangement as the requirements and wishes of different owners are different.
 
I feel for you, especially given your horse is probably perfect for what most sharers want (safe and sane etc). I will be looking to put mine up for a sharer/loan at home in the next few months and am bracing myself for disappointment. Mine will be far more difficult to place than yours as she's young and green from a schooling perspective (though im looking to get her worked by a professional etc now). I am also determined to be honest about some of the problems i have had with her in that ive had a couple of nasty accidents with her (having only fallen off her 4 times, twice its resulted in broken bones). None have been her fault (shes not nasty or even naughty) but I have to be 100% honest though as unlike my last horse she doesnt forgive mistakes and i need any sharer to understand that. She is however pretty bomproof and fantastic to hack etc. If i feel i have to be 100% honest i expect the proposed sharers to do the same - its not the sport to big up your ability given the potential consequences of getting it wrong.
 
It is a total minefield looking for a sharer. I had a lovely sounding lady email me last night so will keep my fingers crossed!

Ceriann- good luck finding someone for your mare! I'm sure the right person is out there for both of us, just takes time to find them! As someone mentioned earlier in the thread it's better to take time to find the right person than rush into something with the wrong person.
 
timbobs said:
It is a total minefield looking for a sharer. I had a lovely sounding lady email me last night so will keep my fingers crossed!

Ceriann- good luck finding someone for your mare! I'm sure the right person is out there for both of us, just takes time to find them! As someone mentioned earlier in the thread it's better to take time to find the right person than rush into something with the wrong person.
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I've had two horses a while, and a range of sharers, my experience is there are great sharers out there, but they take time to find. And you quickly know on first visit the ones that arent worth investing in / trusting with your horse, it is learning to be a bit more ruthless up front to weed out the ones that you know wont work, but are being polite / giving them a chance. .

It isnt for me the knowledge necessarily, one of my best sharers, did something very strange with my horses's breastplate first time tacked him up, but she's turned into a fab sharer.
 
wingedhorse99 said:
I've had two horses a while, and a range of sharers, my experience is there are great sharers out there, but they take time to find. And you quickly know on first visit the ones that arent worth investing in / trusting with your horse, it is learning to be a bit more ruthless up front to weed out the ones that you know wont work, but are being polite / giving them a chance. .

It isnt for me the knowledge necessarily, one of my best sharers, did something very strange with my horses's breastplate first time tacked him up, but she's turned into a fab sharer.
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I've been really good (well apparently not!) about weeding people out on the phone and have only had 3 people come and see him.

I started off as a sharer and currently have a lovely girl riding him once a week so I know there are some great ones out there! Just need to take the time to find them.

I think it's because he's such an easy horse- maybe more experienced riders think he wouldn't be enough fun and I'm attracting the beginners. I re-worded the ad yesterday and hopefully this will help a bit!
 
Kaylum said:
Have you done it the other way round and replied to any horse share wanted ads? equine ads (was ridemyhorse put that in google) is a good place to look/advertise and its quite cheap.
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Equine Adverts is free if you're advertising for a share/loan - that's where I advertised and found my sharer :)

She's shared B for almost a year now and I consider myself very lucky to have her. It's such a minefield, best of luck, OP!

Good sharers are out there, but are indeed very rare!
 
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