In a bit of a mess- don't know what to do :(

BethanT

BethanT

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Getting a bit overwhelmed with people having a go at me down my yard and wondering if I did the right thing.

Having got involved in turning people's horses out for them in the mornings, I turned one horse out the other day. He is a generally rude and bolshy hose who knows his strength and how to use it - all of which I presume comes down to his basic lack of ground work and manners (he is only 4).

Anyway, got to the field and had to open the electric fence, horse touched fence with his nose despite me pulling him back, and then proceeded to barge into me, knocked me through the fence and breaking it then knocking me over and kicking me in the head. After all this I politely text his owner to tell her what had happened saying that in the grand scheme of things he could generally do with some more general manners, not that this incident was generally down to lack of manners (though I think had he respected my space, it would not have happened but oh well). In response I get a very childish reply and one about how her horse is no different to the others and is in no way dangerous. Now I should point out here that I am not the only one on our yard to handle him and have similar problems in his manners, and although currently he is not dangerous, if not nipped in he bud it could escalate. I would be able to handle this as I can understand she would be feeling a mix of emotion, but her friend (another livery) is also giving me s**t about it and saying that I was lying about what happened and should stop causing trouble.

I honestly didn't say anything no one else would as I hate conflict, but just wondering did I do the right thing???

Thanks for reading if you got this far :)
 
In which case, stop turning out their horse, if you turnout the "friends" horse also stop.

I would have told the owner the same, otherwise there would have been gossip about what happened
 
Stop being too nice! Say your not comfortable handling it and get her to turn her own horse out.
I wouldn't expect other people to put themselves and my horse in harms way doing something as a favour that I should be doing anyway.
I honestly think its so rare that these 'shared duties' work out, more hassle than worth.
 
Say from now on you will not turn out their horses! If they give you grief....you can respond back with what they had said to you...

If you have been accused of lying then let 'em think that! Just stop helping out and keep yourself to yourself, it really is the best way....!
 
Aw bless you, you had a lucky escape. The tactful thing to do is not to mention the handling problems and just say feel that you feel he is above your capabilities and therefore you think its best if she arranges for someone else to turn it out, then its not your problem.
People often are very defensive about their animals, its a bit like criticising someone's children
so if you don't want bad feelings avoid it as much as possible.
 
its very difficult to comment someone else's horse without them taking it personally-whether criticism was meant or not. Stop turning out their horses and let them got on with it.

If you are ever in a similar situation, don't comment other than 'I'd rather not handle other people's horses anymore' or give an account of what happened without offering an opinion as to why or what should happen next (unless asked and even then, probably don't). The only way IME to get on in a livery yard is to mind your own and keep a low profile (and then they'll still talk about you but wont have any ammo).

chin up, glad you weren't badly hurt.
 
Always best to have these sorts of discussions face to face.

But I too would stop turning other people's horses out. Let them do it themselves, or pay for the service of the YO.
 
A kick to the head can result in permanent debilitating injuries for which you may suffer permanent disability or even worse.

Don't ever handle this horse again - it clearly has not been trained properly and is dangerous to handle.

Politely tell the owner that you do not wish to turn it out anymore.
 
Had I receieved a text like that my reply would have been a BIG apology and a "I hope you gave him what bloody for?" If my horse is being rude and bolshy then the handler has every right to put him in his place.

Stand up for yourself, tell them to turn there own horses out and if they want to b**ch about you then tell them to pi$$ off!
 
I suspect you got short-thrift from the owner as it sounds like you were passing judgement on how they handle their horse. If you're ever in such a situation again perhaps just recount what happened and leave it at that. That said in your situation I would be telling both the owner and her friend that I could no longer turn their horses out in the morning.
 
You poor thing. I ditto whoever else said that these 'sharing' duties rarely works.

I would stick to your guns & politely say you are not turning their horse. If it's DIY they should either so it themselves or pay the YO or a freelance groom.

I wouldn't get more involved in the ins & outs from here on in - livery politics is a funny old thing!
 
I think perhaps the text you sent seemed a bit critical of the owner and therefore she got defensive. Just have a word and tell her that he zapped his nose on the fence and it all went downhill from there.
I'm glad you are ok, it could have been much worse, but TBH, unless other peoples horses are beautifully behaved, I'd leave them to put their own horses out in the morning or pay for the service.
It's not fun battling with bargy horses on a dark winters morning and as its your hobby, don't make it miserable. Just do your own.
 
one thing i learnt - never criticize an owner of a horse like this as it's 99% their baby...

like everyone else said :Stop handling the horse simple, you can't risk your own safety for someone that sounds like that don't care about your safety, and also they will soon understand the problems themselves as they will be having to deal with it.

Hope your okay :(
 
Don't get involved with other peoples horses unless it is your employment. No truly appreciates it and as has happened when things go wrong many will believe it to be your fault. Sounds like the kind of owner who would be coming after you for payment had her darling been hurt as well. Best leave to arrangement to yo except where you have a very good friend.
 
((((((((Hugs)))))))

Check out my recent threads on DIY and getting shafted by other liveries. I am currently in the silent corner as I have said i will not do any more turning out/in/mucking out/feeding/rugging/picking feet out/bedding down. Nope, nothing. It was just a chore.

I have my horse on DIY, I do my own horse, I enjoy it - but i HATED "helping out".

Further, that horse is not safe for you to handle, so DON'T. If they want to own a horse, they can do the work themselves.
 
Lol I was just about to post about that situation Shysmum

Unless you desperately need the others OP I would stick to doing your own horse, it will make life a lot easier - you can simply say that the incident bought it home to you how things could be affected if you got injured (no sick pay for example if that applies...)

From now on it should be called 'Doing a Shysmum'
 
Sometimes you just have to say your bit... I had a woman going around the yard saying things behind my back about my newly bought youngster. I just politely asked if she had anything she wanted to say to me about my horse, to which is said no. She backed down as soon as it was obvious that I wasn't prepared to be bullied by her. I would ask this friend what the problem is, explain what that you haven't lied and you acted out of the safety of the owner and whoever else handles the horse. I'm not a great one for conflict either but sometimes you need to be upfront so people don't gossip or talk behind your back. Once they know that you are happy to politely discuss the matter most bullies back down, because they are whimps :)
 
BethanT said:
After all this I politely text his owner to tell her what had happened saying that in the grand scheme of things he could generally do with some more general manners,
Click to expand...


There's your problem, really. I would have just text saying 'He's knocked me through a fence, broken through it himself, knocked me down and kicked me in the head, so I won't be available to help you out any more'. End of.

To be honest, that's awful behaviour, you'd think the YM would be wary of having a horse like that on the yeard, he's capably of really hurting someone and they may be liable.
 
Thanks for all the lovely replies. Problem is is that it is sort of part of a job as I work for the YO in return for livery so have to do it. Plus need people to bring my horse in due to work. YO did have a word with owner and agree that horse is bolshy and rude but main problem came from friend who is also YO daughter (whole other story and issue there) who already has it in for me at the moment.

The other issue is that she NEVER turns out herself and relies on other people so very rarely sees how e behaves. It's not so much that he's too much for me. I just worry for everyone else's safety if someone else has to handle him one day. I think will be seeing her in a bit but need a chat without friend as I never meant to be harsh or critical as I personally would never take something like that to heart as I now my horse should always behave.
 
If it's part of your job to turn out - then your YO needs to address this situation, not you. And you should most definitely not be sending texts to owners, as it's unprofessional.

So put the whole thing in the hands of your employer and let them sort it out.
 
I agree with Amymay . Your YO needs to sort this. in hind sight no you shouldnt have text owner but hind sight is a clever thing :). But you must stay safe and i seriously ask you to sit down with yo to get it sorted. big hug and glad you ok x
 
Prob best not to comment on other folks horses behaviour even though u didn't mean any offence by it. People can be over sensitive about these things. I wouldn't put the horses out anymore & if u want to clear the air just say ' I hope u didn't take any offence to my comment, sometimes things come a cross wrong via text'. Probably best just for the sake of a quiet life.....I'm sometimes shocked by what behaviours people put up with regarding horses but each to their own. I just wouldn't handle the horsesyself as I would feel the need to instill some manners in them & it's not my place. On the other hand I'm not happy about someone else Instilling their idea of manners on my horse as we all have different levels of tolerance.
 
the horse is only 4, have yet to meet a perfect 4yo plus it got a zap from a fence. Its not for the OP to sort out though. plenty of livery horses are less than perfectly behaved IME.
 
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Safety first. Tell her to turn her own horse out in future. She is on the defensive and her and her friend probably wont change their opinion of you now. I would just steer clear of them both and their horses. Karma will come round to bite them on the backside.
 
If thats the case, advise the YO of what the horse did, and that you won't be handling it anymore as you are concerned for your safety, but that you will continue with all your other duties. No need to comment on the horse's behaviour, outside that one incident.

Again, the YO should be concerned about the possibility of people getting hurt, and them being held liable.
 
Is it an electric fence 'gate'? I hate the things with a vengeance, having a horse in one hand and a live tape in the other (with an insulated handle obs) is asking for trouble IMHO, especially if the horse is at all bargey. It's so easy for the horse or handler to get an accidental 'zap', as happened here. Electric fencing with proper gates is fine.

Your YM has a duty to have safe working practices. If that means changing her fencing, then so be it.
 
BethanT said:
Thanks for all the lovely replies. Problem is is that it is sort of part of a job as I work for the YO in return for livery so have to do it. Plus need people to bring my horse in due to work. YO did have a word with owner and agree that horse is bolshy and rude but main problem came from friend who is also YO daughter (whole other story and issue there) who already has it in for me at the moment.

The other issue is that she NEVER turns out herself and relies on other people so very rarely sees how e behaves. It's not so much that he's too much for me. I just worry for everyone else's safety if someone else has to handle him one day. I think will be seeing her in a bit but need a chat without friend as I never meant to be harsh or critical as I personally would never take something like that to heart as I now my horse should always behave.
Click to expand...

are you covered by insurance as you are technically being paid to work on the yard?

If the horse managed to touch the fence despite you trying to stop it, then knock you to the ground, break the fence and kick you in the head then you are out of your depth with this one-tell the YO you will not be handling this horse any more, I got caught (just) on the arm by a mare I was turning out earlier in the year, the owners were very irregular in how often this mare was turned out and it was messing with her mind. I work with horses self employed and if I am injured then I cannot earn money and look after my own family and animals, so I told them I won't be helping them out with her until they addressed the problem-it resulted in the mare being turned out for a week then coming in evry night and having a routine so was a joy to handle after that. the owners need to make sure that the horse is safe to handle or send it to a training yard
 
Ah ok, actually a completely different situation to mine. You need to tell the YO that you do not feel safe handling this horse, and hand the whole thing over to her. With hindsight, contacting the owner wasn't the right thing to do. It was the YO's responsibility. Sorry.
 
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