in a similar vein to 'When was the last time you laughed at your horse?'.......

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Ginge Crosby

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when did your horse last do something to embarrass the hell out of you?

my comedian of a horse has done a number of times, including:

* HOT new farrier for emergency refit of front shoe before a show. I stood with my back to neddy in his stable, talking to said farrier. neddy grabs elastic toggle on back of puffa bodywarmer neck and starts walking backwards to the rear of stable, strangling me, then...... lets. go. pttwang goes elastic on back of my head - ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuch. hot farrier - p*ssing himself.

* one of the first times i introduced neddy to OH, OH stupidly stood next to rear end. neddy with his comic timing decided now would be a good time to empty contents of rear end. cue girly scream from OH and swift diving in opposite direction.

* entering a jump off, go through start timing gates, neddy decides he cant hold it and has to have a wee RIGHT NOW. needless to say, we even got beaten by the lead rein ponies.

plenty more i can think of, but now its over to you lot!
 
18 month old mini shet filly notices her mum tucking into a bucket of chaff and gallops down the paddock as fast as her fat little legs will carry her. Stucks in bucket and finds every last morsel has been eaten.Squeels and proceeds to buck and rear around the paddock in disgust. Bless.
 
Another farrier one.

Few years ago now, lado was being shod, was a bit of a fidget bum as he was only young and getting used to the whole shoeing business, away he lifted his head up really quickly and accidently head butted me in the face, boy did it hurt! but I didn’t say anything just took the pain (as you do) and carried on as if nothing had happened (farrier didn’t see it happen as he was bent over busy seeing to the foot) farrier then stands back up and turns to talk to me, looked at me strangely and asked if I was Ok, I grinned and said yes why (playing it all cool etc), he said what’s that on your teeth he asked, (me looking confused) goes in for a closer inspection and says urrrrrrrrhh it’s blood, yes Mackenzie and split my lip open and I didn’t realise I was bleeding all over the place, I was quite embarrassed. :o:o:o


When Mackenzie decided to be an idiot napping and decorated someone’s lovely lawn with his shoes and nearly sat on there very expensive car, had to go round to apologise and bribe them with a bottle of wine.:o:o:o


Once when a saddle fitter came (few years back), he decided to put on a fine rodeo display and be as naughty as you could imagine, saddle guy vacated the arena very quickly to the other side of the fence, the colour drained from his face and said ''you're not seriously going to get on that are you?''...err yep, just let me give him 5 minutes on the lunge! :o:o:o Never felt so embarassed in all my life, I did explain he's not normally like it but I don't think he believed me.
 
***at a dressage comp and withdrew from prelim as pony recovering from injury and decided it was too much so would stick to the intro. As we walked away from explaining this, pony suddenly flew forward and charged down the warm up field. Trying to work her in was a nightmare as she kept trying to take off.

***went to exercise pony bareback, literally just got on and pony took off around yard, broncing.We did a full lap of yard before mummy fell off in full view of everyone. (later learned someone fed pony handfuls of sugar cubes).

***same pony was having a nice, steady canter when again, took off down long side, through arena gate (knew I should have closed it) and straight through the stables, sliding to a stop with one hoof in the water trough and nose, inches from the wall.

***a novice was riding pony for confidence jumping, when pony decided she couldn't be bothered and stopped beside the jump and stomped on the jump pole, snapping it in two.

This is all the same pony....oh dear....
 
The best horse I ever owned, Shaggy, would have me in stitches regularly, he was such a character... although sometimes they were nervous giggles as I stood and watched him defy death

He'd give the farrier a proper wedgey, and delight in doing up/undoing zipped jackets.

He'd give Houdini a run for his money in escaping... He'd jump the wheelbarrow when I was skipping him out, so I reorted to hobbling him, he still jumped the wheelbarrow and merrily bunny hopped down the yard and into the hayfield while I watched not knowing whether to call the vet or just be done with it and have the kennels come out as he was sure to break a leg....and he would delight in bounding to the top of the muck heap, which at it's highest was 15' and then threatening to roll. Heart was in my mouth as I watched, thinking any moment he'll be down and roll off the top. He had an extraordinary sense of self preservation though and never actually did it. Escaping at shows - now that was fun!

Demanding polos. Rummaging through every pocket, bag etc until he found it - bummer if you had just cleaned your teeth as he'd go for your face, licking away!

There was a sand paddock between the stables and the horsewalker, and my YO's husband had fenced the walker off, planting cherry trees. There was really long lush grass here as it was spare ground Shag would be turned out while I did his stable (the safest option!) and he would get down onto his knees and edge forward, underneath the fence (the botton rung was just under a metre from the ground) and he would kind of do a horsey limbo to get to the grass, kind of shuffling on his kness with his bum in the air until the rung (incidentally made of iron) was over his withers. I would watch, petrified that he would spook, leap up and smash his withers. He never did, he'd graze for about three minutes until his knees had pins and needles then edge back until his withers and neck were clear of the railing. Genius!

He's get cast as a matter of routine in his stable, I has cast bars around the sides, and would sort himself out - never needed ropes, but you would know as the bed would be everywhere, and walls scraped.

He'd follow the tractor up and down when chain harrowing - couldn't be turned out with a friend as he'd insist on eating the same blade of grass as them, and really annoy them. This is how (I believe) his front teeth were kicked out... He only had one front tooth so was really pretty when he smiled!

I am sure he was hand-reared as he had ADD, I tried everything to stop him kicking the door when someone was on the yard, from electrocuting it to nailing doormats (prickly) to it. What is needed is a ritalin supplement as he was one of those naughty kids.

He was seriously talented, and they say the good ones are always quirky. He was too good for me and it broke my heart letting him go, but it was for the best. He went from skipping around foxhunter courses to being placed in 1.50m and world cup qualifiers within two years. I have been to see him jump in La Baule and Portugal, and he hasn't lost any of his cheekiness, he still kicks the door if you aren't petting him and throws his feed at you, but the boy that rides him has harnessed that and got it to work for him, which as an amateur one-horse rider I hadn't a hope of ever doing.

My dream come true would be to have him back once his competition life is over, that is if he hasn't killed himself! This has brought back so many memories!
 
Aww WoodTiger, he sounds like an amazing horse and definitely one of a kind! Haha, he must have some character about him. Hope you get him back in retirement :)
 
I have a 11.2hh pony who I taught to stand on things with his front legs on cue. Looking back probably not the best idea but ..
Lunging over fences one day with a crowd around the arena, I turned round to adjust the fence and turned back to see said pony stood on top of a 1m high oil drum, enjoying the applause so much it took me 10mins to get him down! :)

this pony has also taking to standing on things with me on board, including climbing in the door of a mobile home and on top the large xc steps at MKEC!! :D
 
Kenzo said:
Once when a saddle fitter came (few years back), he decided to put on a fine rodeo display and be as naughty as you could imagine, saddle guy vacated the arena very quickly to the other side of the fence, the colour drained from his face and said ''you're not seriously going to get on that are you?''...err yep, just let me give him 5 minutes on the lunge! :o:o:o Never felt so embarassed in all my life, I did explain he's not normally like it but I don't think he believed me.
Click to expand...


Mine did this yesterday. Had the saddle fitter trying the saddle in the stable, he was fine..then suddenly started bucking and squealing and rearing (which he does on occasion)...bucked the saddle straight off. Got his tack on to try new saddle..cue my horse bucking and spinning around me, trying to kick the pony in the head when he was lead past. Saddle fitter 'Orange thoroughbreds..they're always mad..should we do it another day? You have to have a trot..but it doesn't have to be now. I don't want you to get hurt..' 'no no, it's fine' 'REEAAALLY don't want you to get hurt, do falls hurt when you're 19?'
To be fair..after I managed to get on in between the exuberance, he behaved reasonably ok :)
 
When I was younger, I was riding my first pony home from a pony club rally, and going past a pub with loads of people sitting outside drinking. My pony decided that he absolutely had to wee - the longest smelliest one ever! Everyone was laughing their heads on and commenting on his anatomy - I was only 14, and was so embarrassed that I nearly got off and abandoned him!

Another time I was riding a livery in the snow,and he tripped over a kerb that was hidden under the snow, depositing me onto a perfect white picket fence around someone's garden, which broke. The horse promptly turned round and walzed back to the stables, leaving me to face the livid house proud owner (who didn't even ask me if I was ok) alone and then a walk back!
 
I laugh at my horse on a daily basis :rolleyes:

Last night it was when I was walking around the arena in hand to stretch her legs (been in all day) and she was trying to roll. When I'm schooling her I often laugh at how awful her canter is.
 
My big lad is so jumpy it's hilarious. I'll give him his tea, which goes in the same place everynight. If I talk to the OH he'll look up and bang his head in the process, then look confused..

He falls over things all the time

If something scares him he does this trallop, no kidding its the fastest trot ive ever seen n when he's 17.2 his legs go everywhere. It's priceless when he's in the field :')

Pooing on a cars bonnet... embarrasing!

Pulls faces when he's hungry

Walked into a bus stop

Drank some random persons coke at the pub (priceless)

Standing on my finished cigarettes (i'd say that's just wll trained :p)

Every day I laugh at him because he's a complete moron... mother definitely gave birth standing up....
 
Not my own horse, but a friends horse at the weekend - 3 livery girls decided to sit and watch me, horse was being a cowbag and decided to flip out (mare... this is why I own geldings!) - rearing high and broncing on the spot, ended up having to bail out. Landed on my feet but she threw me about so much I landed my ribs on the pommel, winding me but I didn't want to make a fuss! Its always embarassing falling off. Was in front of my OH too, I think he's a bad ohmen as I seem to always fall off in front of him (and I dont fall off that often!) - last time he came to an event with me my horse went nuts broncing due to a saddle problem (starting slipping sideways) and I landed right on my coxynx, was in pain for weeks! I think he thinks I am the most atrocious rider... lol.
 
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