in need of help (im a stupid child :S )

[eventing09]

right,
so...
i have my mare, throughbred. good start ey

but she is really special to me, probleys 'the' most special i will ever have. we were very succsessful in the small time we had transport to compete. weve shared some AMAZING times. but now, 7-8 months on from these amazing times, we arnt working out. she has had problems at the start with her back which was a main cause of our downhill journey. but then i got it sorted, and for about 3 weeks we were hacking out and having fun, for the first time in ages. but now shes back to her ways, and to me not worth it anymore, what she 'does' (sj is her bast) i no longer want to do. ok so she hasnt been ridden for about 10weeks (weather related) and the 1st time i rode her was last saturday as we didnt have snow. which was infact THE worst day for a long time (bearing in mind i have left her before for a long time and she was NEVER like this). so i lunged her the next day as all the problems i had were when she had a bad back (the physio warned me she might remember and try to take the p*ss.) and again, lunging was just unbarable, she was grunting, kicking out, refusing to move with her head like a giraffe. to me, i think shes taking the p*ss. but i do understand she might still be in pain. i just dont no what to do, i start college in september, and my plan was to sell her before that so someone who wanted to sj succsessfully would have a horse to do it on. however, i just feel im no longer prepared to put all my effort into her to sort her as i havnt been getting anything back. i just have NO motivation anymore for her. i bought a fizzy showjumper to turn her into an eventer, which then she went like a dressage horse, then now, which i believe shes always going to be a fizzy fiesty showjumper, and i cant change that. my problem is though, would anyone buy her as she is. i dont believe so. im just really confused and feel as though everyone has given up on me as i feel ive 'ruined' her

please, anyone, im at the point of giving up all togther :'(


1st day home with me -

Happier times, i miss them

 

[missyme10]

I've been in a similar situation, I bought my daughter a pony just over 3 years ago, turned out to be totally unsuitable, and no way anyone would have bought her. I sort of gave up on her in the end, I took responsibility and kept her and didn't palm her off, she became a field ornament basically, and a petting pony.
But I decided to bring her back into work about 6 months ago, I've had battle after battle, and many a time wanted to just throw the towel in and accept she's just the way she is.
But I've stuck to it, and I'm now finally starting to see the rewards, she's turning out ok. She'll never be a first pony, but will be a decent 2nd pony for a competent rider.

Guess what I'm basically saying is dont give up, I know its hard to find the motivation, but you will get there. Concentrate your mind on the good times, you know how wonderful she can be and you will get back there, it just may take time.

 

[Three]

Your post is a bit hard to read (sorry, I know it's difficult when you're pouring your heart out

) but, what I think I'm reading is that she had a bad back 7 or 8 months ago which you treated.

She was then fine for 3 weeks.

She's then had 10 weeks off and mis-behaved first time you rode.

You've now lunged and she looks to be in pain.

If that's a reasonable breakdown of the story I'd be getting her back checked again (just in case), her saddle checked (with all that time off there's bound to be some muscle changes). Apologies if you've done this bit!

And only then, if all is well, start walking her out - trying for straight lines rather than circles.

It's quite tough to ask a horse to lunge in small circles when they've been off work - and effectively se's been out of work for 8 months.
My vet has always suggested walking out in hand to start with but I know from experience if she's a fiesty girl you're probably safer on top!

She's a lovely looking mare too.

 

[eventing09]

I no it is, i just read thorugh myself haha
yes, she had a bad back, i got it treated, got a new saddle which was fitted, during then she had abit more time off then started hacking again. she was fine for a few weeks, indeed had 10weeks off and the 1st time i rode she reallyyy mis-behaved (she scared me which she never has before)
i didnt lunge, sorry i shouldnt have sed this, ive just gotten a pessoa eventually after the physio encouraged me to get one. instead of 'lunging' i just walked her round the school with it on loose, not doing anything expect her wearing it. after the comotion we had during this, i took it all off her and attempted to just lead her round and wouldn't even do this. ive been down again today and noticed on one side of her neck i was brushing she was pulling faces at me. now ive just noticed this and during her physio her tense neck was also the problem. and thankyou, she really is lovely. i just wish it would turn out for the better. shes a really special horse

 

[SVMel]

Sounds like she's crying out too. You said she is pulling faces when you're on one side of her and I think you may have twigged that's a big signal that she's unhappy with something. This could of course be her neck, but if that gets the all clear then consider other things. Something could have happened to her on that side. May not appear to have been traumatic to you, but I had a very sensitive gelding who got thoroughly upset because he stood on my foot and when I was on that side and I was very vocal whilst hurridly trying to get him off (it was extremely painful!!!). He didn't forgive me for weeks and was touchy when I pottered about on that side. And I didn't even lay a hand on him!!!!
Its also not even beyond the realms of possibility that there is a sight problem in that eye. I do however, think that its most likely muscular. She doesn't sound nasty, just unhappy, and she's trying to tell you.
After you've had her physically checked,and know all is ok, it may be worth just doing the stuff she loves. I know you don't want to do that discipline but if you try it out, and she's much better, it may be worth letting her go somewhere that she can get on with what she sees as her purpose in life.

Hope this makes sense, i know what i'm trying to say, but don't know if I managed to get the message across!!!!

Good luck!!!!