Individual cremation

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StarcatcherWilliam

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As some of you may recall, I lost my lovely horse in February. He was PTS at the vets and I opted for individual cremation at a cost of £600. I was somewhat shocked when the time came to collect his ashes, to be handed a small wooden box (about the size of a paperback book) containing a tiny sample of the ashes.

This has upset me a bit because it leaves me wondering what happened to the rest of his ashes? It's left me with a bad feeling about something that was bad enough to go through anyway. The vet's receptionist seemed surprised that I was expecting to get all the ashes back.

When I collected my mare's ashes from individual cremation two years previously, from a different company, ALL the ashes were returned to me and this was what I was expecting this time.

I feel guilty that I have done the poor boy a disservice :-( Am I being silly?
 
StarcatcherWilliam said:
As some of you may recall, I lost my lovely horse in February. He was PTS at the vets and I opted for individual cremation at a cost of £600. I was somewhat shocked when the time came to collect his ashes, to be handed a small wooden box (about the size of a paperback book) containing a tiny sample of the ashes.

This has upset me a bit because it leaves me wondering what happened to the rest of his ashes? It's left me with a bad feeling about something that was bad enough to go through anyway. The vet's receptionist seemed surprised that I was expecting to get all the ashes back.

When I collected my mare's ashes from individual cremation two years previously, from a different company, ALL the ashes were returned to me and this was what I was expecting this time.

I feel guilty that I have done the poor boy a disservice :-( Am I being silly?
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Bless you. You DEFINITELY haven't done your boy a disservice.
But I do understand why you are questioning the service you received - I always thought you got all the ashes back too.
 
Of course you haven't. What was important to your horse is what you did for him during his life, not after his death (not that this was your doing). I have no doubt you were a loving and attentive owner and that's what matters.

When my boy was cremated (11years ago now) I was amazed how big and heavy the box his ashes came back in was. I have no idea what I expected really, but it certainly wasn't something that big! I didn't really know what to do with them and I decided then not to ask for ashes back again. He's not in that box, he's in your heart and memories.
 
I was given the option of having all his ashes back or just some. I am shocked you weren't given this option and only given a part of his ashes back.

You definitely didn't do him a disservice. I saw it as the rest has gone with the other horses as a group rather than on his own.
 
This happened to me too when I had my old boy cremated 11 yrs ago now; I wasn't expecting the small box I received either :(

I couldn't have the Hunt to collect as he'd had medications which made this not possible.

In the end, I decided to bury his ashes and plant a pear tree over him - tree is now flourishing beautifully and always gives us a lovely crop!

But like OP, I felt very shortchanged at what was a horrible time.
 
I lost my wonderful boy whilst I was away. I still feel incredibly guilty that I wasn't there for him when he needed me. The sitter arranged for his ashes to be returned to us, something I have never felt the need to do when I lost my previous horses. He arrived in a large polished box with his name on and he is really heavy. However, my intention to turn him out with his field mate has still not happened. I just can't bring myself to let him go again.
You aren't being silly. At that price you would think they would offer you the choice. So sorry you lost your boy. It hurts.
 
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StarcatcherWilliam said:
As some of you may recall, I lost my lovely horse in February. He was PTS at the vets and I opted for individual cremation at a cost of £600. I was somewhat shocked when the time came to collect his ashes, to be handed a small wooden box (about the size of a paperback book) containing a tiny sample of the ashes.

This has upset me a bit because it leaves me wondering what happened to the rest of his ashes? It's left me with a bad feeling about something that was bad enough to go through anyway. The vet's receptionist seemed surprised that I was expecting to get all the ashes back.

When I collected my mare's ashes from individual cremation two years previously, from a different company, ALL the ashes were returned to me and this was what I was expecting this time.

I feel guilty that I have done the poor boy a disservice :-( Am I being silly?
Click to expand...
How heartbreaking for you, I found out after my husbands horse was put to sleep went for rendering and not the individual cremation we had requested.
 
I got a huge box back when I sent my horse for individual cremation so yes I would like you be annoyed. It is such a personal service that it is terrible that they did not give you the option but I would always expect that you would get all the ashes. Are you going to make a complaint?
 
StarcatcherWilliam said:
As some of you may recall, I lost my lovely horse in February. He was PTS at the vets and I opted for individual cremation at a cost of £600. I was somewhat shocked when the time came to collect his ashes, to be handed a small wooden box (about the size of a paperback book) containing a tiny sample of the ashes.

This has upset me a bit because it leaves me wondering what happened to the rest of his ashes? It's left me with a bad feeling about something that was bad enough to go through anyway. The vet's receptionist seemed surprised that I was expecting to get all the ashes back.

When I collected my mare's ashes from individual cremation two years previously, from a different company, ALL the ashes were returned to me and this was what I was expecting this time.

I feel guilty that I have done the poor boy a disservice :-( Am I being silly?
Click to expand...
Do not feel guilty! It’s what you do during their lifetime which is very important, not afterwards. My 16.3 Clydesdale x Highland was cremated and he’s now in the living room in a huge box. You haven’t done anything wrong!! I think cremation is the most dignified thing to do.

This is your grief speaking, for years I was beating myself up and second guessing my decision to let Jake go with dignity. It will pass
 
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