Instructor for nervous nelly

[sherbet]

I have been riding for years but normal story took a break for kids, have now owed own horses for about 5/6 years and have been having lessons on and off.
Have a very nice instructor who has also become a friend and I really enjoy my lessons with her, but feel that maybe she is not pushing me as much as she could. This may be because I can have periods where I have no confidence and she takes it back to basics.
So was thinking of having a lesson with another instructor to see how it goes.
Please can you recommend someone who will push me just outside my comfort zone, but not shout at me. I am based in east sussex/kent border

 

[becca1305]

perhaps you could say to your instructor how you feel and see if she can adapt her lessons slightly since you already have a good relationship with her and trust her . It may be difficult if its not her natural teaching style but having trust in her not to overface you is a good starting point as you may find you have to develop trust with another instructor first . I teach a few "nervous nellies" and am happy to say they have come on leaps and bounds whether in areas such as hacking or jumping. When I was younger and as a student I suffered at the hands of firstly a shouty shouty instructor who overfaced me, and then a lovely instructor who let me pootle along at a level I was confident and enjoyed but after a while I realised I just wasnt progressing. These experiences made me opt for a happy medium when I teach, I never shout or "bully" clients and try not to overface them taking small baby steps upwards that I know both they and the horse are more than capable of and in the occasional case of an unlucky confidence knock taking a couple of steps back for a lesson or two but not restarting at the bottom again. This middle ground of relaxed but firm instructions and often continually instructing so they are more focussed on making sure they are following instructions than on what they are nervous of seems to work for me. Followed by a "get on with it you nellie" or a "ride it the same as last time its no different" if I see them tense up! I also tell them to concentrate on breathing in and out several times if they feel themselves get nervous which seems to work well! Unfortunately Im not in your area as "nervous nellies" is my specialist area having been there myself in the past, however I am sure you can find someone who adopts a similar approach in your area if you dont feel your current instructor is right for this .