Interesting read: People who stick to the wrong horse for too long !

[cobden99]

That made me laugh TarrSteps about the relationship part . I had my sec D from a foal and loved him to death. However, as he went through the naughty youngster stage he gradually eroded my confidence - I ended up still loving him, but I didn't like him ! Luckily I have a fab friend who was more than capable of sitting on his giant leaps and bucks, and she got him up to medium level very quickly, as he loved having lots to think about. I was a lot happier as an owner than a rider, and he always used to look for me when he was out competing LOL. I bought a 4yr old welsh x WB, which sounds mad but when I sat on her she just felt safe . But it's taken a long 4 years of 'unlearning' my bad habits and getting my confidence back with the right horse and the right trainer. In fact she is so great I now have her slightly bigger half sister as well . My Norty welsh Is sadly no longer with us ( lost him last year) but I'm just lucky I had the right rider for that particular horse on my doorstep. So well done OP on making the right decision - lovely picture btw.

 

[~ Clear Light ~]

Rachyblue I'm serious lol. I am not in a huge hurry to sell him as he's my "main horse" so to speak, but if someone wanted to swap I would definitely consider a trial run! He is too well behaved for me, a real amateurs horse, I prefer horses that make me a tiny bit apprehensive, ones you can't get your leg on initially as they are so fresh! Maybe I should start a "swap your horse thread" lol.

 

[TarrSteps]

Don't laugh, I've seen it work!

Mind you, I also know two people who did a very successful husband swap!

 

[~ Clear Light ~]

Husband swap LOL!! Would love to know how they started the conversation about it in the first place.

 

[DabDab]

I also knew two couples who had swapped partners and there were children from the marriages both before and after the swap. So the children from after the swap had half siblings on both sides... or something - the mind boggles!

 

[TarrSteps]

In this case, my friend's husband had an affair and decided pretty early on in the game he wanted to be with the other woman. My friend met the other husband though the circumstances and got interested in his hobby - voila! Now they are all buddies and have even been on holiday together. Well done, them, I say.

 

[soulfull]

Lol re husbands

I stuck with the wrong one for 8 years. Mainly because I didn't realise just how difficult he was until I got the next one. Suddenly I realised not only how much easier everything should be but also how much more fun it should be too
It made me see that there are horses out there that don't argue about everything
I now have a lovely WB who tries his heart out and rarely argues.
It's amazing

Never again would I stick with a horse that was as difficult as my first one

 

[Lolo]

Husband swap LOL!! Would love to know how they started the conversation about it in the first place.

Was going to say I doubt it started as a conversation, lol!

 

[~ Clear Light ~]

Haha Lolo too right!!

TarrSteps that's fantastic it all worked out so well. Horse swapping must be a doddle compared to all this!

 

[1life]

In this case, my friend's husband had an affair and decided pretty early on in the game he wanted to be with the other woman. My friend met the other husband though the circumstances and got interested in his hobby - voila! Now they are all buddies and have even been on holiday together. Well done, them, I say.

Oh My Life! It just shows that you never know what is around the next corner....which can make life very exciting .

 

[Firewell]

From sticking with the wrong horse to successful husband swapping in one swoop...got to love HHO

 

[Suziq77]

However if you aren't a complete numpty and you've got a horse that you think is a serious risk to your safety, you have to bear in mind that the horse might be a serious risk to many other people's safety if you sell it on. I just thought it a point worth making.
(

Re a horse being a danger to others, that is definitely an issue in some situations and requires careful thought. I'm afraid there are some people though, who do not want to admit that a horse they struggle with might be just fine in another situation with another owner. This is a very tough conversation to have.

I have a horse who I think the absolute world of (well, I have two but I'm only talking about one of them here). She lives with me because for some reason she just didn't get on with her previous owner, who is a competent rider, and the two of them didn't see eye to eye to such an extent that her previous owner considered the situation to be dangerous.

I fell in love with her the minute I saw her, as soon as I sat on her I knew I could happily ride her forever and I hope I never have to let her go. I have no idea what broke down between the two of them but she is "my" horse and I trust her.

I wasn't looking for another horse but she found me and the three of us just work together, even better than my first mare and I did when it was just the two of us.

 

[rachyblue]

Rachyblue I'm serious lol. I am not in a huge hurry to sell him as he's my "main horse" so to speak, but if someone wanted to swap I would definitely consider a trial run! He is too well behaved for me, a real amateurs horse, I prefer horses that make me a tiny bit apprehensive, ones you can't get your leg on initially as they are so fresh! Maybe I should start a "swap your horse thread" lol.

Maybe we should continue this discussion via PM?

 

[Holding]

Rachyblue I'm serious lol. I am not in a huge hurry to sell him as he's my "main horse" so to speak, but if someone wanted to swap I would definitely consider a trial run! He is too well behaved for me, a real amateurs horse, I prefer horses that make me a tiny bit apprehensive, ones you can't get your leg on initially as they are so fresh! Maybe I should start a "swap your horse thread" lol.

If you fancy a short term swap for a just backed oversized baby WB, let me know. He's stunning with fab paces and a lovely person, but would likely make you more than a tiny bit apprehensive to ride.

 

[rachyblue]

If you fancy a short term swap for a just backed oversized baby WB, let me know. He's stunning with fab paces and a lovely person, but would likely make you more than a tiny bit apprehensive to ride.

Oi get in line

 

[Holding]

Oi get in line

We could always do some kind of three way swap... as long as it's me who ends up with the Advanced schoolmaster.

 

[rachyblue]

I'm afraid there are some people though, who do not want to admit that a horse they struggle with might be just fine in another situation with another owner. This is a very tough conversation to have.

This isn't my problem, I worry more that I will sell him to someone else who he is too much for and he will suffer because of that. I would need to find him an excellent new owner who I knew would be able to deal with him properly. Hence why I bit Clear Light's hand off, as she is clearly such a person.

He's such a nice guy and a sensitive soul, I'd hate for him to be passed from pillar to post.

 

[TarrSteps]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that, rb. It's clear from all your posts on the subject that you are very fond of the horse and want the best for him. Your issue comes from the possible problem that YOU may not be the best for him! I think this is a very brave thing to consider.

My point was to the general question about why people may choose to stick with a horse even when the situation gets dangerous. Obviously there are many very admirable reasons why people make this choice but I have also had people tell me privately that they would rather soldier on or turn the horse away or even pts, rather than have someone else succeed publicly where they have failed. I don't think this a common main motivation but I suspect grain of it might be in quite a few people's minds, even if they don't even admit it to themselves.

 

[ridefast]

I have sat on a LOT of horses. Some just 'fit' for no real reason and if I had to spend everyday with one, it would be one of those. I think it's a bit like a marriage - there are many people in the world you can appreciate, admire, be attracted to, love having dinner with, even date. But only a few are going to be a good prospect for a long term relationship. It's not a failing in either party, it's just one of those things.

That's exactly how I feel about men! Haha. My mare is my horse of a lifetime, however she is complete opposite to what I always imagined, and I imagine it will be the same when I meet the right man. He may not be perfect, he may not be what I'm thinking he should be, but he'll be right for me.
Changed the subject a bit

 

[rachyblue]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that, rb. It's clear from all your posts on the subject that you are very fond of the horse and want the best for him. Your issue comes from the possible problem that YOU may not be the best for him! I think this is a very brave thing to consider.

My point was to the general question about why people may choose to stick with a horse even when the situation gets dangerous. Obviously there are many very admirable reasons why people make this choice but I have also had people tell me privately that they would rather soldier on or turn the horse away or even pts, rather than have someone else succeed publicly where they have failed. I don't think this a common main motivation but I suspect grain of it might be in quite a few people's minds, even if they don't even admit it to themselves.

I've known those as well - I'd love to see him out doing something, hopefully that will be with me (I'm helping out at yard as from tomorrow to get some more riding in - very nervous haha) but if not I will just have to find him a suitable new friend. I certainly wouldn't sell him to anyone who won't get on to try him, even if they bring someone to try for them who will be helping them!

 

[Baggybreeches]

I keep both my horses because they make me smile whilst riding them, and as a few of the HHOers who have ridden them will agree the may not be world beaters but they are pleasant and safe to ride by almost anyone.

 

[livingthedream]

I had a young Welsh d who ruined my confidence but I tried and tried to make it work. I loved him with all my heart but 2 years of trying is quite soul destroying.

When I finally decided enough was enough was when I was eating dirt again after a pretty horrid fall. Who knows next time it could have been my neck?

He's gone to a fantastic new home now and I couldn't be happier for him. The relief I felt was immense the day he left.

I now have a bombproof coloured cob and my confidence has returned. Life's too short and our horses should be fun

I know how you feel OP, go with your gut instinct and try to ignore your heart xx

 

[horse.love92]

Livingthedream I too bought a bombproof coloured cob to replace my Welsh D . Best decision I ever made !! Here he is ...

 

[emeraldbeach]

what a brilliant story.its alot harder on the owner than it is on the horse when things don't go to plan,and you have to part company.but it sure doesn't feel like that at the time.my friend said to me don't waste time getting upset over it,the horse won't show any remorse when its kicked your head off.

 

[LR2904]

In guilty of this too bought a welsh d mare just over a year ago with the intention to hack her, so far only ridden her in an enclosed area a handful of times lost most of my confidence as she is spooky and unpredictable...yet I cant bear to part with her....x

 

[Cobs Can Jump]

This story reminds me alot of myself! I had a pony who I broke in myself and brought him on to comete with, he was very nervous though and I just couldn't get him to be confident until it all came to a head last february when he spooked at something while we were out hacking, slipped and knocked me out on the road and I ended up with a nasty concussion and a night in hospital.

I lost all of my confidence. Then one of my good friends offered to let me borrow their cob for the summer. As it turns out the cob (who is also called Joey ) was the best thing that has ever happened to me! I never thought you could click with a horse straight away like I did with Joey, it was like he knew how vulnerable I was feeling and he has restored my confidence to even more than it was before

I definately agree that you are not a failure if you cannot bond with a particular horse because they are all diferent, like us people

 

[Cobs Can Jump]

This is my little super cob

 

[horse.love92]

Awww some lovely stories

 

[Cop-Pop]

I 'stick' with my mare because while I'll never be able to do any of things I want to do with her I love her to bits and the only other option with her is pts as she's not the type you can sell She's showing signs of coming right tho so might not be a total loss

 

[oldie48]

Glad I'm not on your yard . . . perhaps you can be the one to gently suggest to those who are generally passing judgment that either she needs some kind people to hack out with so she and horse can gain confidence together or they should all mind their own beeswax.

P

You are very kind and are welcome to come to my yard anytime you like. Why does riding bring the worst rather than the best out of so many of us?