abaddon_1974
Well-Known Member
Your horse, Your rules.
Simple
Craig
Simple
Craig
Interfering family member...
- Thread starter milesjess
- Start date
Doormouse
Well-Known Member
I love this idea! It could be the only way to get through about other peoples things.
Kellys Heroes
Well-Known Member
I'd be raving mad!! You've had the patience of a saint so far!
I'd deff hide the key where she can't find it or remove the tack each time I left the yard (I know its a pain) but no tack = no ride.
I'd even go so far as to lock up headcollars and leadropes too - just to make a point - after all aren't you afraid of them going walkies on the yard?
Have a word with YO. Everything that everyone else has suggested
Deff point out the insurance thing. I don't think you're overreacting at the end of the day, its YOUR horse.
K x
I'd deff hide the key where she can't find it or remove the tack each time I left the yard (I know its a pain) but no tack = no ride.
I'd even go so far as to lock up headcollars and leadropes too - just to make a point - after all aren't you afraid of them going walkies on the yard?
Have a word with YO. Everything that everyone else has suggested
Deff point out the insurance thing. I don't think you're overreacting at the end of the day, its YOUR horse.
K x
milesjess
Well-Known Member
Thank you guys! I'll have a word with her and get my point across to her and hopefully come to an understanding.
Tack has been locked away and I have all the keys now so no-one can access his tack but me.
I'll have a word with the Y/O to bring him in the loop.
Polopony - Thanks for sharing your experience! I'm definitely putting a stop to this now before it reaches that stage
Tack has been locked away and I have all the keys now so no-one can access his tack but me.
I'll have a word with the Y/O to bring him in the loop.
Polopony - Thanks for sharing your experience! I'm definitely putting a stop to this now before it reaches that stage
sugarlump121
Well-Known Member
I was wondering this- how old are you if you dont mind me asking and are you living with your mum? As I think these could be strong contributing factors.
I would go CRAZY in your situation- my ex wasn't even allowed to ride my horse without me being there- we had 3 between us and I would say what gos!!
This is your horse though and its not fair- Im wondering if she's tried to take over in other situations too- sounds like she has no respect for you or your wishes...
How about past situations with horses- have you ever helped her with a horse of hers or anything- or both shared the same one maybe?
I feel for you, its like someone taking over the mother role with your children!!
ETA
didnt realise there were more posts than first page so sorry if have repeated anything...
**goes off to read other posts**
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milesjess
Well-Known Member
Sorry just seen your reply!
I'm 20, living at home with parents (houses are far too pricey
) and my sister is 25, but she doesn't live at home anymore. We haven't shared a horse together and she hasn't owned one before, just both rode/ loaned. This is my first 'official' horse.
She doesn't help with his chores when she comes down, just leaves me to sort him, then expects to ride him. She can't take no for an answer, never has been able to but my mum makes this situation worse by encouraging her then telling me I'm the one in the wrong
Yeah it feels exactly like that! That's a good way to describe the feeling
onemoretime
Well-Known Member
Oh please save us from family members, I have a half sister and a very gobby cousin who are in cahoots most of the time. Bearing in mind half sister in 70 and cousin is nearer 80 but that doesn't stop them from interferring in family matters which have nothing to do with them.
As other posters have said take your tack home or keep it in your car and speak to yard owner as well and hopefully this will put a stop to it.
As other posters have said take your tack home or keep it in your car and speak to yard owner as well and hopefully this will put a stop to it.
narkymare
Well-Known Member
she is taking mick - its your horse, your responsibility so you and you alone are responsible for his welfare and well being
I bought a horse to share with my daughter - one day in the school said daughter had a proper paddy whilst on his back, shouting being a total madam - my poor horse so did not deserve that - so i calmly walked over, pulled her off him straight onto the floor and led my poor horse quietly back into his stable whilst said silly daughter (13 years old so should know better) sat crying and sulking in the school
Point is i love my daughter to bits, but she has choices, horses dont - if you own a horse he has to come first
By the way, my daughter who was so upset at the time has now forgiven me - she understands animals are innocent and have noone to look after them but us - do what is right for your horse xxx
I bought a horse to share with my daughter - one day in the school said daughter had a proper paddy whilst on his back, shouting being a total madam - my poor horse so did not deserve that - so i calmly walked over, pulled her off him straight onto the floor and led my poor horse quietly back into his stable whilst said silly daughter (13 years old so should know better) sat crying and sulking in the school
Point is i love my daughter to bits, but she has choices, horses dont - if you own a horse he has to come first
By the way, my daughter who was so upset at the time has now forgiven me - she understands animals are innocent and have noone to look after them but us - do what is right for your horse xxx
Echo Bravo
Well-Known Member
Tell your mum to butt out nicely and tell your sister to back off, just because she's family doesn't mean you have to bite your tongue or ask her for money towards his keep and double it. I've never taken any crap from my family and I'm the oldest and told many times I should know better(from my mum) and I took note and I believe I do.
TJP
Well-Known Member
Family can be a nightmare but sometimes you have just got to tell people (then duck lol).
I had a similar situation, for a short time my horses were in a livery yard. I rode during the day sometimes and rode out a few times with a guy who had a horse there and gave him a few lessons. One of my horses went lame - boxrest and meds. Came up one day and noticed he was a bit sweaty, on asking yard staff I was told the guy lunged my horse on the mornings I wasn't there!! Hello People - BOXREST?????? One very sharp conversation later he never touched them again.
I had a similar situation, for a short time my horses were in a livery yard. I rode during the day sometimes and rode out a few times with a guy who had a horse there and gave him a few lessons. One of my horses went lame - boxrest and meds. Came up one day and noticed he was a bit sweaty, on asking yard staff I was told the guy lunged my horse on the mornings I wasn't there!! Hello People - BOXREST?????? One very sharp conversation later he never touched them again.
Luci07
Well-Known Member
Actually the insurance really IS the card to play and I do mean that very seriously.
If your sister has an accident riding your horse, it is HIGHLY unlikely that your insurance would cover her accident. When checking with NFU about people riding my mare WITH my permission, I was surprised (maybe nievely) to find that my own insurance did not cover them. This is also meant that if anything happened to a 3rd party, ie, car, when they were riding I WAS 100% LIABLE AND NOT COVERED UNDER MY INSURANCE!
So, check your insurance, get a statement which confirms that no one else is insured to ride your horse and give that to your parents and to your sister. Emphasis the 3rd party liability that all horseowners are now landed with. Tell your parents that her helping herself to your horse uninsured is the same as your driving without insurance.
And if she says she will pay for her own insurance - thats when you have the opportunity to say you are not sharing your horse.
Also bring this up with your YO and good idea about not leaving your keys out.
If your sister has an accident riding your horse, it is HIGHLY unlikely that your insurance would cover her accident. When checking with NFU about people riding my mare WITH my permission, I was surprised (maybe nievely) to find that my own insurance did not cover them. This is also meant that if anything happened to a 3rd party, ie, car, when they were riding I WAS 100% LIABLE AND NOT COVERED UNDER MY INSURANCE!
So, check your insurance, get a statement which confirms that no one else is insured to ride your horse and give that to your parents and to your sister. Emphasis the 3rd party liability that all horseowners are now landed with. Tell your parents that her helping herself to your horse uninsured is the same as your driving without insurance.
And if she says she will pay for her own insurance - thats when you have the opportunity to say you are not sharing your horse.
Also bring this up with your YO and good idea about not leaving your keys out.
Pedantic
Well-Known Member
You bought it, you pay for it, it's yours, hide key tack or both, tell YO no one else allowed to ride "your" horse, and ffs sake grow some balls and tell her to
**** off, whats the worst that can happen, she stops talking to you, oh dear.....
**** off, whats the worst that can happen, she stops talking to you, oh dear.....
gonebananas
Well-Known Member
I'd suggest doing as everyone else has suggested about the tack, YO and insurance etc etc but if she doesn't get the idea after that I'd blatantly tell her to F off. your horse not hers.
you could move yards and not tell anyone....
i personally would have flipped the first time!
you could move yards and not tell anyone....
i personally would have flipped the first time!
Fii
Well-Known Member
You say she is your older sister??
It sounds to me like she is very used to bossing you around since you were kids, am i right? And she is just carrying this on into adult hood, using her seniority to overpower you.
She needs a strong talking to, sit her down and calmly TELL her that you are an adult, and will not have her trying to rule your life.
TELL her that maybe in a few months time, when YOU are ready, you will sort out one day a month ( or whatever time you want) for her to come over and see the horse.
GOod luck, and enjoy your horse.
It sounds to me like she is very used to bossing you around since you were kids, am i right? And she is just carrying this on into adult hood, using her seniority to overpower you.
She needs a strong talking to, sit her down and calmly TELL her that you are an adult, and will not have her trying to rule your life.
TELL her that maybe in a few months time, when YOU are ready, you will sort out one day a month ( or whatever time you want) for her to come over and see the horse.
GOod luck, and enjoy your horse.
sugarlump121
Well-Known Member
You say she is your older sister??
It sounds to me like she is very used to bossing you around since you were kids, am i right? And she is just carrying this on into adult hood, using her seniority to overpower you.
She needs a strong talking to, sit her down and calmly TELL her that you are an adult, and will not have her trying to rule your life.
TELL her that maybe in a few months time, when YOU are ready, you will sort out one day a month ( or whatever time you want) for her to come over and see the horse.
GOod luck, and enjoy your horse.
Agree- I'm wondering also if your mum is seeing this as sisterly time youre spending together which in her eyes is a good thing in relation to past issues, which will make things worse.
Going back to the times she rides your horse- would you be wanting to ride then? I suppose im asking if shes taking your riding time away which isn't fair.
Could you say the yo has said people are only allowed to bring visitors once a week or every 2 weeks- unless they're the ones paying the livery ie parents of kids.
Sounds like its deeper issues than just this horse one and only you can weigh up the consequences if your mum sides with her etc but maybe this is your chance to stand your ground and tell her to back off!
Keep us updated x