Interfering? help what would you do

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HOWEN

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My pony is on part loan to a mother and daughter; they have had him for 8 months now and look after him very well. They have gone on holiday so I have him full time for the next two weeks. I love having him to myself and been able to ride or spend time with him without feeling guilty.

So I went to the stables last week and was told by a lady at the yard (she is the yard know it all & keep my distance from her) to leave his haynet outside the door in the evening and she will put it in when she leaves as he had finished his hay before she left the night before. My pony puts weight on fresh air especially this time of year, so he gets one net a night and I have always done this for the past 8 years and it works out fine and he is alive, happy and always been a picture of health. So I kindly said thank you but no thanks and explained the above. So I went up yesterday to find out through the day she has taken my horse out his stable for a wander to eat some lush grass as she thought he would be bored in the stable and not getting enough attention! Firstly I would never take anyone’s horse out of there stable with out asking and she knows he is on a diet and the last thing I want him to have is lush grass. Then when I was explaining to a friend at the yard about this she informed me the same lady had been in his stable the other day and was brushing sweat marks of him as the mother who have him on loan wouldn’t be to pleased! It totally got me thinking errr what the hell … who’s horse is it. I am sure this woman thinks I am incapable to looking after my own horse. So am I over reacting, what would you do?
 
tell her to F.U.C.K off!

I would be so angry with her. she has her own horses i assume, so she must realise just how unacceptable what she is doing is.
 
Tbh I'd be straight up with this person and just tell them straight up "excuse me love but who owns this horse? Yeah, now mind your own business!"

Or you could ask her why the loan lady would think this and what business of hers is it to do such things with the pony as its not her responsiblilty? :eek:
 
No you are not over reacting. I would say thanks for your concerns but my pony is being restricted to prevent laminitis etc etc.
Also speak to your loaner so she does not leave an extra haynet out for the pony either.
Brushing sweat marks off that's total interference and she should not be bothering other peoples horses.
 
Tell her to stop. Put a notice on the door(I know you shouldnt have to but..ie that the horse is being watched/please report if anyone is seen feeding etc)

Some people, I know an owner who gave her stabled sore foot laminitic shetland polos on a string to stop it getting bored, when challenged she told them she was a member of the pony club!!!

I bet you could despair..some people!!urghhh
 
ThePinkPony said:
tell her to F.U.C.K off!

I would be so angry with her. she has her own horses i assume, so she must realise just how unacceptable what she is doing is.
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^ This is what I would do....

I dont mind people offering advice or to lend a hand but I would expect that if I declined the helping hand or explained why I was doing something the way I was that it would be left at that and I would also NEVER move anyone's horse for its stable without asking unless there was an urgent and safety need to.

The only time I have ever moved someone's horse was a couple of years ago when one of YO horses had got his rug off in the field in the middle of winter and it was chucking down with rain and it was about 5pm. He was soaked fully clipped and shivering so I got both of her horses in from that field, bedded down and rugged up. I also rang her to tell her what had happened and where I had put the rug that he had got off...
 
I would flip out! Tell her hands off, I can't believe she took him out of the stable and was in the stable with him brushing his sweat marks off - er is he her pony - no!!!! I would be mental!

Re the hay net thing, was she perhaps asking if you would like his one net put in later rather than when you were leaving so it would last longer into the night and leaving him less time with nothing rather than suggesting putting an extra one in?
 
You must tell her straight to leave your pony alone. And also speak to YO and tell him of her interference and tell him to speak to her as well.
 
You could make use of this person in a way. Why not give your pony a much smaller net and leave another small one for this woman to put in later? Much better for him than gorging it all at once, and would be a good way of getting this interfering woman on side. But as for taking him out to eat the lush grass, then this is a terrible thing for her to have done. Does he not have a bare paddock to go in during the day?
 
Hang on, just had a brain fart...

Is this at your loanees yard.. because maybe they let this woman do it... just a thought.

Otherwise its a severe whatthehelldoyouthinkyouaredoingwomman!
 
Wagtail said:
You could make use of this person in a way. Why not give your pony a much smaller net and leave another small one for this woman to put in later? Much better for him than gorging it all at once, and would be a good way of getting this interfering woman on side.
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That's a good idea. If I was you I'd just walk up to her with a smile and say pleasantly 'Hi, please don't handle or feed my horse any more, I prefer to have just one point of contact dealing with him, so thats just me or (loanee). Is that OK?' She'll probably stammer and agree at which point you beam and say 'Great' and promptly change the subject, some pleasantry about her horse or the weather.

It's things like telling people to **** off or putting up $hitty signs that causes goodwill to evaporate and makes some yards not very pleasant places to be.
 
Mmmm, can see where you're coming from OP. Something like this happened to me a couple of years ago (not hijacking here) where I'd put mine on summer loan to a "friend", with the proviso that I could have him to myself for set periods each week - and everything was OK until her mother showed up and started interfering on "my" days; in the end I felt totally demoralised as everything I did she would criticise it and I didn't know how to tackle it without making an awful atmosphere.

Agree with post above, that the "nice" approach is the best one. You could try being ultra "nice" with her, word it carefully but firmly, THEN if she still persists you could move up a gear and say i.e. "please Don't ....." etc etc., then if you're still not feeling happy then go to the YO.

What you need to convey is that this is YOUR pony, not hers, and that you want things done according to YOUR wishes.

Often, in a situation like this, there is often jealousy. Perhaps this woman always wanted a pony, or whatever, and couldn't, and she's dealing with it by being like this? Am not trying to be a psychoanalyst but maybe there is a reason, and if you can just somehow make a "friend" of her, for now, it might be the best way forward. Difficult I realise!

The other thing is to try and find out how she is with other people's horses on the yard? Does anyone else have problems with her? If so, how do they deal with it? Whats the general "vibe" on the yard concerning her?
 
No body should be moving your horse, feeding it or going in the stable without your permision... unless there was great need to, such as a hay net was on the floor or his water bucket was empty...

Thank her kindly and ask her... in fact no, TELL her not to continue what she has been doing... I know your immediate feeling who be to tell her where to go but you know what it's like, it can cause an uncomfortable atmosphere if you go in guns blazing... I would in all honesty tho speak to her infront of another yard member, simply so she can't turn around to others and say you were really nasty to her...

Be firm... but polite :)

Maybe mention it to the YO and ask them to keep an eye out for you :)
 
SOOO!! Take her horse out for a graze or give it extra hay and see what she thinks to that.:D:D:DBut seriously have a word with YO or the loanee when she comes back and just say you were made to feel that you were YOUR ponys worse enemy.:(:(:(:(:(
 
Ive got one of these to deal with atm. Always putting her nose in where its not wanted,:mad: she does it to everyone at the yard. However she does things at are not required, made up a little book of things she has done and for who.:eek: And bloodly tried to tried to invoice everyone for things,:eek::eek::eek::eek: and no she doesnt own/run the yard just another livery on diy!
The cheek!:mad::eek::eek:
Needless to say that no-one has paid, they diidnt ask her do those things(not me might i add as got my little one, so didnt have a horse she could do jobs for). But we told her not to do things, who wants to go down the yard when everything has been done for you, and you could of done something else, and on another note people like doing their own horses, its why we have them.

I think she will be gone next week!:D
 
sorry i would be there telling the woman politly but firmly Do not mess with my horse- I have a girl who helps me if I need it and have notice on door not to feed my horse - how can I manage her weight/diet/sight if people interfer - but people on my yard are pretty good ( did have to tell one wimsical woman not to feed sugar lumps) and as know me well would not interfer phew im so lucky :)
 
I would very quietly and calmly tell her not to interfere. And if your horse gets laminitus you will be forwarding her the bill.
Also tell her that she is not allowed into your horse's stable as you feel she is irresponsible and interfering. Tell her straight.
As AmyMay said also tell your YO, mention it to all other liveries too so that if they see her doing this they will tell you or stop her.
I would be fuming.
A girl did this to me once and my horse was a 3year old TB. Kept going in and just grooming him, he was nothing to do with her!!! I told her to back off pretty sharpish!
 
Mucky Shavings said:
Ive got one of these to deal with atm. Always putting her nose in where its not wanted,:mad: she does it to everyone at the yard. However she does things at are not required, made up a little book of things she has done and for who.:eek: And bloodly tried to tried to invoice everyone for things,:eek::eek::eek::eek: and no she doesnt own/run the yard just another livery on diy!
The cheek!:mad::eek::eek:
Needless to say that no-one has paid, they diidnt ask her do those things(not me might i add as got my little one, so didnt have a horse she could do jobs for). But we told her not to do things, who wants to go down the yard when everything has been done for you, and you could of done something else, and on another note people like doing their own horses, its why we have them.

I think she will be gone next week!:D
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She tried to invoice people for little jobs... omg thats hilarious! what a muppet :D
 
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