Is anyone else's partner/husband a bloody idiot?

FoxTrotx

FoxTrotx

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Sorry, probably a bit of an OTT title but my partner is frustrating me slightly.

Our four year old son has started to take quite an interest in horses (honestly no pressure from me ;)) but my partner doesn't like it. I've taken boy for a riding lesson at my lovely little local RS (perfect place for kids, I have wonderful childhood memories from there myself), he was scared at first but really enjoyed it by the end if the lesson.

I'm sure partner just thought it was me pushing horses on him until this evening when I discovered the book he's brought home from the school library is one about "how to care for your pony".

I am of course secretly thrilled but partner thinks son will get bullied for liking ponies / turn gay / become "all consumed like me".

Anyone else have this issue?
 
Yeah, tell me about it. This is coming from a 37 year old man btw.

I obviously don't want the boy to get bullied either but I am glad that he has an interest in animals rather than fighting or computer games. He loves our dogs and handles them very well (better in fact than I see most adults handling theirs) and is getting more confidence with the horses, he even led little cob to the field at the weekend :)
 
My brother said he didn't want my nephew sitting on my horses. I asked if it was from a safety point of view, he replied 'no, I trust the horses.'
I knew straight away that it was for the same 'reasons' so I told him not to be so sexist and we both left it at that.

What can be manlier than sitting on a creature that has the power to kill you!? It sure is more 'macho' than kicking round a bag of air! :confused:
 
What a shame - surely its his job as a parent to encourage any activity he wishes to take part in? Can you take hubby along to watch his next lesson? Maybe the huge grin on his sons face might make him change his mind! Maybe you should say to husband that you were thinking about sending your son to ballet lessons instead! Wonder what he would rather....
 
EmsHooper said:
I would be more concerned about my child picking up my partner's apparent homophobia!
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Yes, good point.

As for being bullied, I don't think I'd want my child putting off whatever interest he might choose due to fear of others' intolerance.


ps Your title seems a fair assessment to me. ;):p
 
Boys/men who like horses are very popular with the ladies, and my boys ride I do not believe they have been bullied for that. Horse riding won't make him gay - he will either be gay or not.

The boys did not tell everyone that they ride at school, but most people who know them would know that they do. Both sons have been seen by their friends in jodphurs from time to time.

With respect to bullying - well if it happens for whatever reason, and you know about it, then you address it at the time. You can't really sit there guessing what might or might not make your kid a target.

My OH was not that keen on the kids riding, but more a time and money thing.
 
My OH says horse riding is a fantastic thing to get into for boys - he was always jealous of his friends who rode as they had constant access to a stream of girls in tight jodphurs! Tell your OH to think Pony Club camp, rallies ;-)
 
My eldest boy gave up riding when he was 8 then at 15 started again, he realsied it gave him a HUGE head start with the girls. Hes not gay I don't think, I walked in on him and his girlfriend just the other day (hes 18 now).
 
Thanks so much for all the reassurance. I worry myself because I have always been completly horse mad (still am, the novelty of owning STILL hasn't worn off, doubt it ever will) but was from a non-horsey family. My Dad always supported me but my Mum activley discouraged it, I'd love to be able to offer my boy what I never had but its difficult at the minute. Maybe OH feels pushed out, which is stupid really because he used to like coming up to do the horses but doesn't really anymore. Its a shame for all of us :(
 
He's obviously being a twit! I grew up with about 5 lads who used to ride. None are gay and they all still ride now.

It wouldn't matter how he turned out (gay or not) as long as he's happy and having fun!

Some men eh!
 
I would be taking him to task about his homophobia never mind his seemign intolerance to being 'different'. Quite disgusting and potentially very damaging to your son.
 
Refer your OH to Ricky Belshaw para dressage rider, he said something like "dressage is the perfect passtime for a straight man, predominantly women and all the men are gay"

Prince Charles made a similar but slightly more polite comment about leaving pony club because it was full if girls then realising a few years later that the best thing about pony club is that it is full of girls.

You may wish to refer your OH to a few male equestrians who are obviously not gay or bullied or obsessed - like maybe prince harry.......

And then maybe give him a slap
 
OH has never mentioned not liking gay people in the 8 years we have been together, one of his friends is actually that way inclined so not sure he has a problem with the gay community as such it was just one of the stupid excuses as to why he's not keen on boy being into horses. He does spout some rubbish to be honest, I honestly think he's worried about the bullying side more than anything.

Oh and boy has already had two 'girlfriends', he split up with the first one because she wanted to play cats too much.....ooookaaayy....they are funny at that age :D
 
Horse riding can be part of a rounded childhood. My nephew rides, just lessons at a riding school, but also does scouts, plays football a couple of times a week, plays cricket in the season, he also enjoys a bit of cycling, hiking and climbing and swims. He's a well rounded 10 year old, although it does irritate his step-dad when he turns down football to ride :D

He has a "step-uncle" who is a polite well rounded and hardworking 18 year old. When his mum was asked how she managed to raise a boy who turned out nicely and never got into trouble or in with the wrong crowd she said the key was keeping him busy with lots of productive active out of school activities. He's done allsorts over the years, including riding, and although he doesn't have a pony any more he's able to ride his girlfriend's horse.
 
My 4 year old son rides my horses quite often,to the point we were haveing arguements who was gonna ride first ha,ha.Ive never pushed or encouraged him hes just taken to it and to be honest im glad as ill have a hacking partner once hes older.His dad has never had a problem and regulary comes out with us and my mare on his quad which always turns in to a great day(all off road hacking) out for us all.I think if your happy and your sons happy I would continue,i too would rather my son be out in the fresh air enjoying him self than being stuck in doors playing computer games although he does sometimes.I think its great that your sons interested and by sounds of it keen to learn,so me personally I would leave at home sulking whilst you and your son enjoy your time together,hes the one whos missing out. :)
 
Boy is starting to ask to come to the yard with me more often and I'm happy to take him as long as he behaves (he usually does and I have a secret sweet drawer that he can pick from if he has behaved the whole time). I'll have to try and get OH involved again and maybe he'll change his mind quicker.
 
FoxTrotx said:
Sorry, probably a bit of an OTT title but my partner is frustrating me slightly.

Our four year old son has started to take quite an interest in horses (honestly no pressure from me ;)) but my partner doesn't like it. I've taken boy for a riding lesson at my lovely little local RS (perfect place for kids, I have wonderful childhood memories from there myself), he was scared at first but really enjoyed it by the end if the lesson.

I'm sure partner just thought it was me pushing horses on him until this evening when I discovered the book he's brought home from the school library is one about "how to care for your pony".

I am of course secretly thrilled but partner thinks son will get bullied for liking ponies / turn gay / become "all consumed like me".

Anyone else have this issue?
Click to expand...
Well I have a 14 year old son who isn't interested in horses at all but all the girls are interested in him because I have horses so far from being bullied for being gay he is a girl magnet, tell your husband that it should settle his mind.:D
 
hubby doesnt want me getting daughter involved in horses, tough s**t i tell him. He thinks he will spend every weekend for the rest of his life going to horse shows and being bored by it all and never getting to do what he wants and having no money. This is true but i dont tell him.
 
You could point out some of the top riders in show jumping, eventing, horse racing etc are definitely not gay. Think Tim Stockdale, Frankie Dettori (sp?) etc.

I would just like to say that personally I don't judge anyone on their sexuality and don't care a jot what they are.
 
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