Is asking to use a ménage rude or ok?

[ILuvCowparsely]

There are a few locally to me and at one point or another I’ve been told to feel free to use them.
I never did for one reason or another. My friend now rides my horse occasionally and she wants to, I’d like to now aswell but I can lorry so have more choice.
I’ve asked a few of the people who had offered before and they have just outrightly ignored my message. I could phone but usually correspond by what’s app/messenger etc and just expected a reply!

I’m always slightly stunned when people ask to use my little lorry, we don’t lend it out as it costs us a fair bit to maintain and run, it’s not the easiest to drive and does need a little care, it has air bag suspension, they are a nightmare if you don’t wait for it to inflate long enough etc.
if a friend had an emergency it’s different but in general, we stick to the rule.

Is it the same thing, are people thinking “get your own bloody school’’
If so I’m embarrassed to have asked!
Do you guys with a ménage allow anyone to use it?

A lorry is a whole different ball game.

plaiting
servicing
maintenance
breakdown cover
insurance


I hired a school before when at lviery without one, i paid £ 10 per hour or £ 15 with lights.

 

[silv]

I happily let people use mine, but then I know who they are. If someone messaged me out of the blue who I don't know I would say no and think it was quite rude. I would be fine if they called in and introduced themselves and then asked.

 

[Lucky Snowball]

I do not hire my arena for visiting instructors or for general use any more. I would be afraid of being sued if someone fell off and tried to say it was the surface or something spooked their horse. Also it means I have to be there to unlock, I can't hack out until they've left. One lady took her horse onto my garden grass and was trying to make it wee so that it wouldn't wet in her trailer! Another turned up with a snotty nose. Whenever a visiting horse coughs and the owner says it's 'just hay' I worry. All in all I guess I'm just a miserable old bat. People tie horses to the fence (on my tie ups) and let their horses chew my fence. I have also had to stop people taking their horse over to my stallion to 'say hello'. Not knocking novice owners but these were experienced riders who should know better. Someone tied a horse to the lorry door so long that it got in a tangle and pulled the door off. Can't believe how miserable I sound !

 

[Bonnie Allie]

While I understand your point, the advantage of a message is that it avoids putting people on the spot - some people would say yes in the moment because they felt awkward about it, and then regret it later, and a message gives them time to think before they respond (or not).

OP in the circumstances you've described I don't think you were wrong to ask.

I consider it to be the opposite - but then I’m probably older than you and consider it impersonal if you wanted to chat about something as significant as bringing your horse onto my property and using my facilities by a message.

Ive had a very fortunate career which has allowed me to create amazing facilities for our riding, and really enjoy sharing them, especially with those who may be at a different stage of life and could really benefit. But don’t message me - talk to either in person or call me.

 

[Ceriann]

Yeah the message thing rather than a call I thought ok as the few I’ve asked always correspond this way, In fact the last message off one was “ I really owe you one”
I’m also doing that yard anyway the next fortnight as they are away so had said I’d be there anyway.

All your reasons make absolute sense though and are mostly things that had crossed my mind.

I may pop my own ad up, I’d be very happy to sign a ride at our own risk.
It’s difficult because I said I thought I could borrow a school occasionally and hadn’t considered it was a me only thing.
One work place I know for sure would be fine but it’s too far to take her unless im working and I work for too long for her to ride and hang round.

You can’t waive liability for death or personal injury - the law prevents you doing so. Some people will have public liability cover but most won’t and that may be a factor. I suspect many would trust friends to be sensible etc but not people they don’t know. I let a friend use mine but I wouldn’t extend that to her friend for risk and hassle reasons - arena is by my house, you have to go through my field to get to it etc.

 

[Tiddlypom]

I may pop my own ad up, I’d be very happy to sign a ride at our own risk.

The trouble is, if you or your friend had some of awful accident when borrowing an arena, and are left needing round-the-clock care, then your respective relatives may chase the arena owners for a huge pay out if they can prove some sort of perceived negligence.

As the owner of a private arena with no insurance cover for third parties to use it, it just ain't worth it. It's set up to be safe for me, but the whole risk assessment of access for randomers issue is a biggie.

A yard that already has a few liveries is likely to be much better set up re access and insurance compared to a wholly private yard.

 

[TGM]

I'm another one who would much rather be messaged (whether email, text, whatsapp or FB messenger) than telephoned for such a request. As said above, it gives you time to compose a polite reply if you want to say no for some reason. I had a very slight acquaintance ask to use our school whilst she was serving me at the local shop, which totally took me by surprise and made me feel rather uncomfortable. I also had a total stranger recently pull up outside the yard and ask if they could use our school as they were new to the area and had bought a horse. I now have a standard response ready which is that we only have planning permission for private use and as the school is overlooked we have neighbours who might dob us in to the council!

I have let close friends use it for things like a saddle fitting. And I had one person use it reguarly for quite a while as I knew their facilities and finances were limited. But it was quite awkward as they often wouldn't turn up on time and it often meant we had to change our horses' routine when they came, and I would be hanging around waiting for them to turn up and ride before we would turn out, for example. Also as a private yard we don't have public liability insurance, which is a worry. When we have borrowed schools in the past ourselves they have been at livery yards where the owners have the relevant insurance.

I can also understand that if someone had offered you as an individual the option to use their school, then they would feel different about your friend using it, especially if they don't know them at all.

I think the idea of putting a message on the local FB group is a sensible option as it doesn't make people feel they are under an obligation.

 

[JoannaC]

I won't let anyone use my school as my insurance wouldn't cover them and planning was issued on the basis personal use only. If it wasn't for that i'd happily have people come and use it, especially if I could earn a bit of pocket money from it and have someone to ride out with but it's just not worth the risk.

 

[southerncomfort]

I had a stranger knock on my door and ask if she could use my school to back her young cob. It's not visible at all so I can only assume she'd been looking at Google earth to see who might have an arena in the area.

She was a nice girl and I was sorry I couldn't help, but my school isn't insured for use by others, so I can't take the risk of people I don't know using it.

Luckily their is a lady 2 minutes from here who does hire hers out so I think she went there.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

I let visiting trainers teach my liveries and they do have outside trainers, same as different farriers to me.

Hired mine out before to outside poeple but very very rarely and don't remember when I did last.


If I was asked I would make them sign a contract to say they do so at their risk and the yard and owners are not eresbonsible for any damage to property or accident how ever caused when they are using our facilities.

 

[Goldenstar]

I let visiting trainers teach my liveries and they do have outside trainers, same as different farriers to me.

Hired mine out before to outside poeple but very very rarely and don't remember when I did last.


If I was asked I would make them sign a contract to say they do so at their risk and the yard and owners are not eresbonsible for any damage to property or accident how ever caused when they are using our facilities.

You can’t sign away your rights in English law .
Your waiver could only be used to prove they knew a risk existed but if you can still be sued and found liable in event of an accident .

 

[spottypony90]

I think it depends on the person. I have a friend who said I can use hers as it actually helps as it keeps the weeds down. Sadly I can’t get over to use it as i don’t have transport and it’s about half an hour too far to hack to school and then hack back. There aren’t any others in my area within hacking distance except for one which isn’t well maintained and has rabbit holes in it… else I’d definitely be politely asking if I could use them in exchange for help with horses or money.