Is it always wrong to

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eahotson

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Sell a horse because you realize you have made a mistake and have overhorsed yourself? I ask this because of a post in New Rider.I don't want to comment on this specific post but in general.Someone has written that it takes guts to stick it out. but I think that it can take more guts sometimes to admit that you have made a mistake.Try and rehome the horse appropriately and start again for both your sakes.I hate this idea that you are giving up on the horse or some such rubbish.You are not you are helping all of you.
When I overhorsed myself someone said to me Out there is the perfect horse for you and out there there is the perfect home for him.This turned out to be absolutely correct.
 
Personally if I had over horsed myself I would find a suitable home for it - I value myself too much to get hurt, and the horse too much to sour it trying to achieve something that someone else is better placed to achieve. People need to realise that sometimes it is a case of "square peg, round hole" and I'm not about to make myself square to avoid "giving up on the horse".
 
Of course not - I did exactly that, sold a safe, older cob and bought a younger, sportier tb x which I couldn't ride one side of.

I invested £100's pounds in lessons, having him schooled, but after 6 mnths my confidence was in tatters and had to admit I just wasn't good enough to ride such a high maintenance horse.

I sold him on to a far more experienced home and bought another cob! However I bought a young cob which has a quieter temperament, but within my capabilities of bringing on, and hopefully progressing with.

I definitely think it takes guts to admit you have made a mistake, and sometimes comes down to a matter of pride. But in the long term you need to feel comfortable on the horse you ride.

I also think it does no favours to the horse if you try to persevere - and maybe this is why people end up trying to sell on a 'problem' horse.
 
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I was massively over-horsed a few years ago, lost all my confidence very very quickly. Everyone on the yard/all horsey friends told me to "stick it out, don't give up, have more lessons, when you look back in a few years time you'll have come so far together!" Well no, in a few years time I would have probably ended up in an accident. It's a nice thing, when you and your horse go through a lot together and you come out shining, but its also a good thing to accept your limitations and accept that the horse will be much better off in a far more experienced home. People asked me why I gave up so easily; I did not give up, I gave the horse a chance. Now, the horse I owned is in a very experienced home where she goes out doing all-sorts most weekends and is going to the HOYS qualifiers. Would she have done that with me? No way.
 
My horse I have now is a youngster who will be started this year. I love this boy to the moon and back BUT I also have a little girl who is sevetely disabled...I cannot risk getting broken. So if my lad turns out to be too much for me then I would have to seriously consider parting with him for something safer x
 
Good heavens, surely it's a no-brainer? Do yourself and the horse a favour and let someone else have a chance at a horse which may suit them down to the ground, while you continue looking for "Mr Right-horse-for you". Not an iota of shame in that.
 
It's also possible for the right horse to become the wrong one, I had a lovely dutch warmblood - he was great when I rode hard 6 or 7 days a week, competing/ lessons etc every week - then my job changed and I could only ride 3/4 times a week so less fit to compete all the time - our nice partnership turned into a nightmare, I did 3 months of falling off every time I rode - literally.
He was miserable and so was I - so we went our separate ways, why would I keep him knowing I was just making both of unhappy???
 
If you know the horse isn't for you, sell it. I think some partnerships take a while to develop though. As I've said before my horse put me in hospital 5 times in the 2 weeks I had him on trial. I brought him and have had him 9 years. I got him and persevered because I never felt unsafe and never dreaded riding him. That's the difference I think, and it's when you know you've overhorsed yourself. If you feel unsafel, sell. Absolutely no shame in that. If you're having teething troubles, but still feel confident then work through it is my theory. My sister got a horse she felt unsafe on, she didn't even have to fall off for it. She now doesn't ride. I value my confidence too much for that
 
If you are clearly over horsed and completely out of your depth, then of course it's sensible to move the horse on to a more suitable home. However, if the horse is basically safe and hasn't done anything wrong but you are experiencing nerves then giving yourself time with the right support, can be the way forward. When I bought my present horse I was fine hacking out in company but struggled to school him (he was actually, quite naughty) and I'd bought him as a dressage schoolmaster. I worked really hard on my riding and found ways of working with him where I was assertive but not confrontational. I'm happy to say it's worked for me, he's still not an easy horse but he has taught me more than any other horse nd I feel safe on him now. Some folks would have moved him on but despite shedding a few tears and having a few wobbles i felt we would get there eventually. I think you need to follow your gut instinct and have someone you respect to advise you rather than the "girls on the yard" many of whom, just love to see people fail
 
Had this T-shirt ! tried to stick with it for a year but wasn't happy confidence rock bottom, lots of falls couple while having lessons one ended in a visit to hospital for broken rib. Last straw was rearing up and falling over and that was after he had ditched my instructor twenty minutes before. Quite upsetting deciding to call it a day on this horse, but five years on I know it was the correct decision to make.
 
I overhorsed myself about three years ago, my confidence was in tatters and I hated the sight of the animal. It was a massive thing for me to admit I had messed up, especially as the some on the yard thought I should crack on! Strangely enough, I offered a couple of them a ride on her, and they never took me up on it..... Go and get yourself something you enjoy, that's what its all about!
 
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