Is it my face?

Caol Ila

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What is it with this week, middle aged men, and them feeling entitled to stop me whilst hacking to grace me with their opinion?

Four or five days ago, we were trotting along a trail and saw a guy and a dog some distance off. Pulled sharply to halt to let man collect his dog. SOP. Once he had it under control, we walked on past and he stopped me and said, 'I hope you're going to pick up all the dung." I said, "Yeah, sure." He said, "You'd better, or I'm going to complain and get horse riders banned from the trails." I was like, "Okay, fine." (as per Scottish access laws, he can't so, whatever). He continued to rant, saying stuff like, "There are children on these trails!" At which point, I urged Hermosa into a trot and we ran away.

The wise-arse answer would have been, "I hope you stop every other dog walker you see and give them a hard time about the vast amounts of dog-shight in baggies hanging on trees, fences, and chilling on the side of the trail." I only thought of that much later. Probably wouldn't have had the gallus to say it anyway.

Then today, we were plodding along the road at 3:30pm (sunset is at 4:54, so it was still mid-afternoon daylight, albeit cloudy), minding our own damned business, and a guy driving a Land Rover came up behind me, stopped, rolled down his window, and said, "You know, I can't see you." I was like, "What?" He said, "I couldn't see you. It's the light. You're not visible in this light." I have a huge hi-vis road worker (actually, Network Rail) jacket on, Hermosa has hi-vis orange and yellow and streamers in her tail, and she has a huge hi-vis breastplate (okay, can't see that from behind, but that's what the tail thing is for). I looked at him a bit blankly and said, "Even with all this orange?" He said, "Yeah, in this light, you're invisible." I was like, "Okay, thanks for letting me know."

Because I am far too non-confrontational to say, "Dude, if you can't see this get-up at f**kin 3:30pm, then you should probably get your eyes checked."
 
In fairness to the second one, at certain times of day, with low sun on wet roads and glaring on the road and windshields, even the best viz-ed up horse and rider combo can be hard to spot so he was probably trying to be helpful knowing that you would have assumed you were easy to see. I know you say it was cloudy but it could still be the case. My friend had a similar comment the other day and she always wears loads of high vis. I drove home at around 3:30-4 the other day and thought how easy it would be to lose a horse or cycling as the conditions caused a lot of glare. He may have been genuinely concerned that others who didn’t lower their speed according to visibility may have hit you. I wouldn’t brush that one off, I’d be grateful he let me know.
 
In fairness to the second one, at certain times of day, with low sun on wet roads and glaring on the road and windshields, even the best viz-ed up horse and rider combo can be hard to spot so he was probably trying to be helpful knowing that you would have assumed you were easy to see. I know you say it was cloudy but it could still be the case. My friend had a similar comment the other day and she always wears loads of high vis. I drove home at around 3:30-4 the other day and thought how easy it would be to lose a horse or cycling as the conditions caused a lot of glare. He may have been genuinely concerned that others who didn’t lower their speed according to visibility may have hit you. I wouldn’t brush that one off, I’d be grateful he let me know.

The road wasn't wet, the sun wasn't that low, or indeed visible at all.

I have LED lights but from what I can see, they do f-- all unless you are in seriously low light conditions. Which we were not. I saw a fellow livery hacking in her similarly orange-outfit from about half a mile away.

Lots of walkers, cyclists, and other riders use this road. Most of which have less hi-vis than me. Just don't drive like tw--.
 
The road wasn't wet, the sun wasn't that low, or indeed visible at all.

I have LED lights but from what I can see, they do f-- all unless you are in seriously low light conditions. Which we were not. I saw a fellow livery hacking in her similarly orange-outfit from about half a mile away.

Lots of walkers, cyclists, and other riders use this road. Most of which have less hi-vis than me. Just don't drive like tw--.
I guess if you choose to believe he stopped purely to be an ass to you, that's your call.
 
I said “Morning! Thank you” to some (middle-aged male) walkers who stood to the side of the path to let me past on a hack at the weekend, delaying their walk by all of ten seconds. They glared at me and turned to each other to continue their conversation (in English) without any kind of acknowledgement 🤷‍♀️
Rude!!!
 
I guess if you choose to believe he stopped purely to be an ass to you, that's your call.
I have had other drivers and cyclists in similar vis conditions comment on how good our hiv-vis is, so yeah.

If you seriously can’t see a large amount of road construction orange bobbing down the road in average Scottish light conditions, then should you be driving? Most vulnerable road users have a lot less hi-vis than me. I'm not riding down the f88in A81.
 
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I wish I could keep some good put down lines in my head for these occasions. It’s so random they always catch you unawares.
My face when I can remover it when someone is giving me an opinion I didn’t ask for is thanking them and saying interesting viewpoint. I’ll give that some thought!
 
I said “Morning! Thank you” to some (middle-aged male) walkers who stood to the side of the path to let me past on a hack at the weekend, delaying their walk by all of ten seconds. They glared at me and turned to each other to continue their conversation (in English) without any kind of acknowledgement 🤷‍♀️

I'm so sorry I replied with a LOL, but it's a sort of laugh or cry thing sometimes isn't it!! Better to laugh than carry the negativity around with you I guess!
 
Some men are just weirdly wired and think it is safe and even fun to hassle women. I have had it mostly with dog walking men, from the one telling me I should let a new foster bull lurcher off the lead as he 'needed to run' on the New Forest to the two elderly idiots sniggering while their labrador ran to me, hugged my leg and started humping frantically. You could not make it up. Yuck!!

P.S. It is not your face.
 
Well now

Start on me, first word starts with F and ends in K, second word starts with O and ends with F.

No further discussion is engaged in

Generally they pass out, look mortally wounded, lost for words or for all I know could be peeing themselves, either way I don't take that kind of crap
 
The second one may have had a point. Maybe different colours of high viz combined would help? The first one was just being a male karen. Although its becoming more common for people to complain about horse poo. They do not seem to realise that horse poo is mainly grass/hay. Dog poo I can understand but not horse poo.
 
Any interaction with the public causes my latent "Customer Service" alternate persona to come to the fore. Big smiles and how are you, isn't that a lovely/ awful day. I wake up after with no memory of what the f either of us said*.

*This is not 100% a joke, I just say whatever I think they want to hear
 
What is it with this week, middle aged men, and them feeling entitled to stop me whilst hacking to grace me with their opinion?

Four or five days ago, we were trotting along a trail and saw a guy and a dog some distance off. Pulled sharply to halt to let man collect his dog. SOP. Once he had it under control, we walked on past and he stopped me and said, 'I hope you're going to pick up all the dung." I said, "Yeah, sure." He said, "You'd better, or I'm going to complain and get horse riders banned from the trails." I was like, "Okay, fine." (as per Scottish access laws, he can't so, whatever). He continued to rant, saying stuff like, "There are children on these trails!" At which point, I urged Hermosa into a trot and we ran away.

The wise-arse answer would have been, "I hope you stop every other dog walker you see and give them a hard time about the vast amounts of dog-shight in baggies hanging on trees, fences, and chilling on the side of the trail." I only thought of that much later. Probably wouldn't have had the gallus to say it anyway.

Then today, we were plodding along the road at 3:30pm (sunset is at 4:54, so it was still mid-afternoon daylight, albeit cloudy), minding our own damned business, and a guy driving a Land Rover came up behind me, stopped, rolled down his window, and said, "You know, I can't see you." I was like, "What?" He said, "I couldn't see you. It's the light. You're not visible in this light." I have a huge hi-vis road worker (actually, Network Rail) jacket on, Hermosa has hi-vis orange and yellow and streamers in her tail, and she has a huge hi-vis breastplate (okay, can't see that from behind, but that's what the tail thing is for). I looked at him a bit blankly and said, "Even with all this orange?" He said, "Yeah, in this light, you're invisible." I was like, "Okay, thanks for letting me know."

Because I am far too non-confrontational to say, "Dude, if you can't see this get-up at f**kin 3:30pm, then you should probably get your eyes checked."
I just tell folks like these to f@#£ off
 
I'm sorry it was your turn to deal with them today, there are days where they just crop up and start. If the person driving the machine can't see it's their problem and they need to adjust their driving. It's basically victim blaming to blame the one hi-vized up to the nines. If he couldn't see you then he wouldn't have seen walkers, cyclists or even other cars!
 
Middle-aged man checking in here: at this time of life I think we reach this kind of metaphorical fork in the road.

One way is kind of an epiphany that leads to being a chilled out old bloke, who admits that he hasn't really got a great deal of skin in the game, takes life as it comes and tries to put about some good karma - as by god this world needs it.

The other way is to get increasingly wound up about stuff in the world you have no control over (and usually doesn't matter anyway), moan about everything (even if you've won the lottery of life and are a white man living in a developed nation) and generally not see the wood for the trees.
 
Any interaction with the public causes my latent "Customer Service" alternate persona to come to the fore. Big smiles and how are you, isn't that a lovely/ awful day. I wake up after with no memory of what the f either of us said*.

*This is not 100% a joke, I just say whatever I think they want to hear
Since you’re on a flesh and blood, vulnerable horse, and they’re in several tons of weaponisable steel - very sensible, de escalate.
You can always take your hat-cam footage and evidence to the police, later.
 
Well now

Start on me, first word starts with F and ends in K, second word starts with O and ends with F.

No further discussion is engaged in

Generally they pass out, look mortally wounded, lost for words or for all I know could be peeing themselves, either way I don't take that kind of crap
I'm usually too polite for that, but on occasion that has been my reply - usually to middle aged men in lycra on bikes.

Not to all though before I get accused of cyclist rage, some are very kind and considerate they always get a nod smile and thank you.
 
I said “Morning! Thank you” to some (middle-aged male) walkers who stood to the side of the path to let me past on a hack at the weekend, delaying their walk by all of ten seconds. They glared at me and turned to each other to continue their conversation (in English) without any kind of acknowledgement 🤷‍♀️
I normally follow those encounters up with a comment to my horse, "Well, aren't they a grumpy bastard, today?" and go on my own sweet way. 🤭
 
Unless he was driving into low sun he'd have seen you - if he was paying attention. My get up is all 3 shades of high viz & the amount of people who brake late because their heads were somewhere else is unbelievable.
Yep. A couple of years ago I had some old bloke brush my leg on the lane, despite my pink (plastic runners) tabard, neon orange hi-viz rug with reflective bits, yellow/reflective hat band...when I caught up with him outside the village shop he was genuinely confused and upset that some horse woman was ranting at him. He really didn't have a clue I was even there, much less that he'd technically hit me!
 
I’m so sorry you have had to experience this. I recently had a bloke berate me loudly and obnoxiously about my parking. Apparently I was too close to the lines.

Once he had finished his rant which included a dig at women having poor spatial awareness, I put my compassionate face on and softly said “everything ok mate? Is there someone I can call for you?”. There was about good 5 second silence before he huffed off. Not another word.

It was a public area with others around, so I was pretty confident he wouldn’t hurt me if I embarrassed him about his behaviour. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.
 
I’m so sorry you have had to experience this. I recently had a bloke berate me loudly and obnoxiously about my parking. Apparently I was too close to the lines.

Once he had finished his rant which included a dig at women having poor spatial awareness, I put my compassionate face on and softly said “everything ok mate? Is there someone I can call for you?”. There was about good 5 second silence before he huffed off. Not another word.

It was a public area with others around, so I was pretty confident he wouldn’t hurt me if I embarrassed him about his behaviour. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.
I love this response. Being cool and calm in the face of someone who is ranting away is the ultimate win. It gives them exactly what they don’t want.
 
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