IS IT REALLY THAT BAD????

[lil'chesnut]

Hi I'm pretty new here so not sure if this should be in New Lounge or not... but anyway, first post, here we go

I've been riding now for six years and have always wanted to and i thoroughly enjoy doing so. But i have had a number of incidents where my confidence has been knocked through being made to ride horses who i did feel comfortable on and being made to do things which i simply can't e.g jumping too high out of my comfort zone on a horse who i have no control over.

i switched riding schools last year and was told that five years of lessons had been wasted as i could not ride properly at all. this shattered my already broken confidence.

now i have a shared ride who i love but he can a bit bolshy at times. but not once have i ever been told that i'm a "good" rider or what i do well... only what i CAN'T do well. i understand that you weaknesses need to shown to you in order to improve but also you need to tell people what they do well too to keep the balance. so can i really do nothing right?

shall i just keep going as i'm starting to feel like riding isn't for me

thanks

 

[FionaM12]

A good teacher will build confidence by giving praise where it's due. I can't believe you have NO good points! It sounds like you've been unlucky in your teachers, or your own lack of confidence has made you "deaf" to any praise.

Have you tried sitting down with your instructor and telling them you feel this way?

 

[tallyho!]

Oh no, this is not nice to hear. Poor you!

I feel much sympathy, I have been in this dark place where poor riding schools are so blinded by the light that shines out of their bottoms, they lose the ability to treat people like humans and end up looking like jabba the hut, shouting orders through an in-built loudhaler.

Don't lose confidence. What is it you really want to do? Dressage? Jumping? XC? Shows? If you can find your goal and be determined to reach it, my advice would be to find recommendations for private teachers specialising in your area and go to them instead of a school.

Just my opinion.

 

[Shantara]

I'm sure they're just being snooty!

I was told I was an awful rider because I didn't care much for getting an outline with Ned and as far as dressage was concerned, I was happy enough just getting him to move up and down paces in the right spots. I'd rather do endurance (Can't with Ned though, it's a future dream) and I was told there's no skill! HAH!

I'm sure you're much better than they say Keep at it!

 

[MrsMozart]

Hard to say without seeing you, but on the grounds that you stay on top, and so long as you're not jabbing the horse in the mouth, then you must have good points

As others have said, a good instructor will find something good to say at some point, so try different riding schools 'till you find one you're happy at.

 

[E_Lister]

It might be possible that because you are still rebuilding your confidence and have been told you are rubbish in the past that you are hyper sensitive to negativity and deaf to positivity.

My friend is exactly the same. She does dressage and will scan a sheet ONLY reading aloud the constructive criticism and is apparently unable to see the positive comments! It doesn't matter if her score is 68% at novice level, she can only see bad things.

She is one of the most driven people I know to improve her riding in order to get people to see her as good, so in a way it is helping her however she has no confidence in her ability and this can drag her down so it is important that you get a good balance of drive and confidence!

If you enjoy riding then surely it doesn't matter if nobody thinks you are any good? However there is some evidence in your post that that isn't true.
-people were giving you difficult horses at your old riding school
-people were expecting you to be ok to jump big jumps at your old riding school
-you share someone's horse... look at ANY thread on sharers, horse owners won't let any old person share their precious baby!

Remember the saying, one person will be told about a good thing but ten about a bad. It is true! Most people struggle more to be positive so you might hear a lot more bad than good for that reason!

Hope this helps

 

[lil'chesnut]

Thank you all.

Unfortunately my parents cannot afford to keep a horse so the horse that i have on share belongs to a friend of my dad. she has very little experience with horses and has only just learnt how to walk of the lead rein. so she just wanted me to keep him ticking over for her.

I would love to get into dressage but after leaving my third riding school earlier this year i thought that perhaps riding was only going to be a hobby for me. Especially as i said before that I had been told that people were "disappointed" by how i rode considering my six years of lessons.

My last instructor who was a freelance tought me on my shared ride and he was amazing. we got to grips with lateral work and collecting and extending and really started to teach me how to "ride". due to work commitments now he can no longer teach so now i'm just riding in the manege.

I'm just hoping that now i'm riding a horse who isnt much of riding school plodder, i may develop more confidence.

Thanks again, it's nice to know that not all peope think the same. and that it is just bad experiences.

Sorry it's so long... AGAIN!