Is My Horse, Really My Horse?

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Mystical

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Okay so I am used to keeping my horses in a free private yard that my friend owns which is only 2 minutes from my house (Good Deal Huh?) and I could go there everyday and look after and ride them, somehow I did know it was too good to be true and recently due to the owner needing to sell the yard I had to find somewhere else and had to downsize horse wise. The only place I could find was a livery yard about 15 mins from my house and also due to a change in work commitments I can only make it down there 4 days a week (saturday, sunday monday and friday) The other 3 days the people who work at the yard feed, turnout and put my horse on the horse walker . Now, I know I have the papers and his passport which technically makes me his owner BUT I now am not his primary care giver and I dont think he sees me as that either anymore. I really do love him but I don't know whether he now has the bond that I used to have with him due to me not being around as much. So am I his "Owner" or am I his proper owner? (Please note I have never boarded my horses at a livery stables as I have always kept them privately so if everyone thinks I am being a bit melodramatic over it I am trying not to be but It is just a bit of a change as I went from giving him love and caring for him all the time to only seeing him 4 days a week, sometimes more if I can though)
Thanks Xx
 
I think you are overthinking this you are paying for him and meeting all his needs or paying others to do so .
That's what you give your horse the best care you can .
I went through all this when I first started having staff to care for my own horses but I had to be practical and that meant help .
I still love time alone on the yard though.
 
As a yard owner who only does part and full livery, I can categorically say that horses definitely know who their special human is, and that is normally their owner. This is providing they visit a few times a week and not leave them for weeks on end. It's the quality time you spend, talking to them, grooming them and riding them which is far more important to them in terms of bonding than turning them out, mucking them out and even feeding them.
 
Thanks for the replies, they make me feel a whole lot better about boarding him :) My horse is very smart (As everyone probably says about their horse hehe) so I think he knows that I am his special human and not the people who tend to not even look at him when giving him a haynets or mucking him out thanks again you don't know how much these helped me with the whole issue when It comes to livery!
 
Maybe this will help. The other day I drove into the drive up to the yard , past my horses field . Coincidentally ,the girl who looks after him (and who he has known for 8 years ) went out to catch him . As she described it, she was pleased how he trotted up towards her but then totally dismayed as he kept on going..............towards my car !Good boy Bob the notacob!
 
Used to do unpaid work at a yard that offered full and part livery, I have to say they definately know who their owners are and that the hands that provide a bucket of food and water will never be quite as special.
 
Mystical said:
Okay so I am used to keeping my horses in a free private yard that my friend owns which is only 2 minutes from my house (Good Deal Huh?) and I could go there everyday and look after and ride them, somehow I did know it was too good to be true and recently due to the owner needing to sell the yard I had to find somewhere else and had to downsize horse wise. The only place I could find was a livery yard about 15 mins from my house and also due to a change in work commitments I can only make it down there 4 days a week (saturday, sunday monday and friday) The other 3 days the people who work at the yard feed, turnout and put my horse on the horse walker . Now, I know I have the papers and his passport which technically makes me his owner BUT I now am not his primary care giver and I dont think he sees me as that either anymore. I really do love him but I don't know whether he now has the bond that I used to have with him due to me not being around as much. So am I his "Owner" or am I his proper owner? (Please note I have never boarded my horses at a livery stables as I have always kept them privately so if everyone thinks I am being a bit melodramatic over it I am trying not to be but It is just a bit of a change as I went from giving him love and caring for him all the time to only seeing him 4 days a week, sometimes more if I can though)
Thanks Xx
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Don't worry - horses aren't that fickle - due to injuries I cannot visit my horse too often now - yet when I do the moment she hears my voice she whinnies and races to the gate threatening all who dare talk to her mum. Your horse will still think of you as his best buddy - the others sre just food providers - they probably don't give him the cuddles you do.
 
Tnavas said:
Don't worry - horses aren't that fickle - due to injuries I cannot visit my horse too often now - yet when I do the moment she hears my voice she whinnies and races to the gate threatening all who dare talk to her mum. Your horse will still think of you as his best buddy - the others sre just food providers - they probably don't give him the cuddles you do.
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So True!
 
My daughter's horse comes to her call. Some years ago she went away for six months, leaving me in charge. Our voices are very similar, and at first he would come to my call, but he soon realised I wasn't her and stopped coming. When she returned, we went to the yard and she called to him in the field. The first time, he ignored her - presumably thinking it was me. The second time he lifted his head, and the third time he galloped up the field to her. He definitely knew who his human was.
 
I tried out a part loaner a few weeks ago for my girl, we rode to the pub, me on another liveries horse, potential part loaner on my girl. We 'parked up' in the carpark and had a drink. My lass kept untying herself and coming to find me if I was anywhere other than stood next to her :D
 
My girl is on full livery at the moment due to me having surgery to remove my gallbladder. I had visions of her whinnying with joy the first time I saw her after a week, and all I got was a quizzical look and she stopped chewing her hay for about 3 seconds. I believe in hindsight this may have been a deliberate punishment.

There is a happy ending though as the YO rode her for me while I was there and she is a MUCH stronger rider, so madam had to work very hard and after she was done I got a cuddle and I think a 'please get well soon'. Grass ain't always greener, eh missus.
 
Personally I think your horse will know exactly who you are, his very own property! You already established the bond, it's there and as long as regular contact is still maintained, I can't see that changing.

I have a similar worry, although completely different circumstances, in that I don't know how I can establish that bond in the first place. I bought a mostly wild pony that is being stabled at my friend's yard (I pay full livery, but she's lovely enough that she's giving me reduced rates), and my friend who is experienced in such things will be breaking/backing her for me come spring. Thing is, due to family commitments (I have three children, two of whom are very little and not safe around horses yet, plus the yard is a good 20 minutes drive from home and completely the opposite direction to work so I can't even pop in there on the way to/from work), I cannot get up to see her more than once a week at the moment, and even then most of the time she is turned out so other than coming over out of curiosity to see what I am (and if I bear gifts, I expect), she has no clue as to who I am. It's my friend she sees every day, that mucks her out, turns her out, brings her in, feeds her etc, and I'm just a passing stranger I guess. Now hopefully this will change over time and I will be able to see her more often in the warmer weather, but she will have already formed that 'special human' bond with my friend, so I despair at ever being bonded to my own horse. I knew this when I chose to buy her at a time of my life when I don't have spare time to dedicate to a horse, but she was a special case and I wanted to rescue her from the situation she was in at the time, so I did what I thought best.

As I say, completely different to your situation OP, but just my tuppence worth.
 
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Arianrhod said:
Personally I think your horse will know exactly who you are, his very own property! You already established the bond, it's there and as long as regular contact is still maintained, I can't see that changing.

I have a similar worry, although completely different circumstances, in that I don't know how I can establish that bond in the first place. I bought a mostly wild pony that is being stabled at my friend's yard (I pay full livery, but she's lovely enough that she's giving me reduced rates), and my friend who is experienced in such things will be breaking/backing her for me come spring. Thing is, due to family commitments (I have three children, two of whom are very little and not safe around horses yet, plus the yard is a good 20 minutes drive from home and completely the opposite direction to work so I can't even pop in there on the way to/from work), I cannot get up to see her more than once a week at the moment, and even then most of the time she is turned out so other than coming over out of curiosity to see what I am (and if I bear gifts, I expect), she has no clue as to who I am. It's my friend she sees every day, that mucks her out, turns her out, brings her in, feeds her etc, and I'm just a passing stranger I guess. Now hopefully this will change over time and I will be able to see her more often in the warmer weather, but she will have already formed that 'special human' bond with my friend, so I despair at ever being bonded to my own horse. I knew this when I chose to buy her at a time of my life when I don't have spare time to dedicate to a horse, but she was a special case and I wanted to rescue her from the situation she was in at the time, so I did what I thought best.

As I say, completely different to your situation OP, but just my tuppence worth.
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The bond will happen once you are her sole career, horses are bought and sold all the time and and they do develop a bond with their new owner.

Surprisingly they have a long memory for their past careers. I sold a horse I had owned since a yearling. I had her several years. I always used Polo's as a reward/treat. Several months after I'd sold her I went to visit. She neighed to me then immediately mugged my pocket for Polo's.
 
Tnavas said:
The bond will happen once you are her sole career, horses are bought and sold all the time and and they do develop a bond with their new owner.

Surprisingly they have a long memory for their past careers. I sold a horse I had owned since a yearling. I had her several years. I always used Polo's as a reward/treat. Several months after I'd sold her I went to visit. She neighed to me then immediately mugged my pocket for Polo's.
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Thanks, but I won't ever be her sole carer, as she will always have to be on full livery at my friend's yard, since there will never be a time (well, not in the next 9 years or so until my little 'uns go off to secondary school) that I can get to the yard every day to see to her. My friend will always be her primary carer, as full livery yard owner.
 
I've had mine on various livery types over the last 12 years and he's always been clear that I'm a special person to him - the one that grooms, rides and fusses him and most importantly gives him treats.

He's currently looked after by a friend and she treats him very much as one of her boys and he definitely sees her as a special Auntie but I'm ok with that as that makes him happy and that makes me happy.
 
I don't understand the obsession with people worrying if they are their horses favourite person? Surely from the horses point of view they are entitled to prefer whoever they like. Just because your buy a horse doesn't necessarily mean you have the right to make you their favourite human or that you have to be?

I keep my horses at home, but one was on livery at one stage and hand on heart he genuinely adored the livery yard owner. She schooled him occasionally and they just had a lovely bond. I was delighted as you WANT your horse to be happy and like the people that care for them. At the time I could only get up to ride an hour or so a day, so if he was happy with that person the other 22 hrs then that was good for him.

What difference does it make if the horses prefers the yard owner to to the actual owner?

is it not just ego on the owners part to want the horse to prefer them?
 
I treat my horses with a lot of love and respect, and the ones i compete on are my partners and we do have a good bond. But if one of them went off running up a field to get a cuddle off someone else it wouldn;t bother me. I'd be more interested in seeing what trait in was in them that the horse seemed to like
 
paddi22 said:
I don't understand the obsession with people worrying if they are their horses favourite person? Surely from the horses point of view they are entitled to prefer whoever they like. Just because your buy a horse doesn't necessarily mean you have the right to make you their favourite human or that you have to be?

is it not just ego on the owners part to want the horse to prefer them?
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It means an awful lot to me as I have MH issues, and she is in many ways my saviour. Of course there's an element of ego as well
 
but just for debate sakes (not aimed at any poster) isn't that all human ego? or course you WANT your horses to love you, but at the end of a day its not a hollywood film and horses personalities and who they react to differ.
It's like hiring someone (who hasn't had a choice in the matter) to work with you and then putting pressure on them to be best friends with you, even if your personalities mightn't match.

One of mine is a super horse and we have had great success competing and are a super team, but as soon as i'm off his back we just become respectful, mannered partners to each other.If i had a bad day and went bawling into his shoulder he would be horrified and is really uncomfortable with stuff like that, hes just very self contained and not a one on one horse on the ground. And i don't expect him to work as some kind of counsellor. On the other hand i have a fairly untalented rescue mare who is a complete intense bonder and she would love nothing better than hours of hugs.

I just don't think its fair to expect a horse to love you above all others and get upset if they don't. I've seen people have horses gallop up to them and hug for hours and proclaim about their bond, and at the same time they can't get a horse out the gate because it naps or doesn't trust the rider. I just worry that somewhere along the line our relationship to horses has become 'hollywoodised' and theres too much expectation put on the horse 'loving us' and the relationship becomes more about us than them.
 
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Ours are kept at home, officially all four belong to Sis and I, but she has a draught horse and a cob, I have two Appy's, while we chose them this way, so have the mares :)
Many years ago we bought an Appy to share and then a year later bought a Welsh Cob X Tb, with the intention that we would alternate who rode who. The first time we rode out, I rode the Appy and Sis rode the new mare, we had a great ride out, with all horses and riders happy, we then swapped for the next hack. This was a disaster, the Appy was rude and ridiculous and upset the new mare, we swapped horses half way round and peace was restored and although we did each ride both horses we never rode them "the wrong way round" out together again. The Appy had made her feelings clear :D :D I belonged to her until her last day, age 33
 
I witnessed a lovely moment yesterday. I've got a little mare here, who belongs to a forum member. She's here on a R&R livery basis, and has been for around 18 months. Her owner lives a long way away, so isn't able to visit all that often. She came over yesterday - the mare saw her walking across the yard, and went from dozing in the sunshine, to wide awake, staring at her visitor approaching- she doesn' do that to anyone else, including me. She is very happy here, and I'm clearly considered to be her primary source of food/hay/cuddles, but she DEFINITELY knows who her person is!
 
I belong to my Appy. She gets ridiculously jealous if she sees me with another horse and will take a chunk out of my gelding if she feels he's had too much attention.
 
SEL said:
I belong to my Appy. She gets ridiculously jealous if she sees me with another horse and will take a chunk out of my gelding if she feels he's had too much attention.
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Haha! My mare gets arseeey and starts pulling faces and moving her bum around if I give too much attention to her Shettie baby! She adores him but hates him getting attention off me - mares are the best!
 
paddi22 said:
but just for debate sakes (not aimed at any poster) isn't that all human ego? or course you WANT your horses to love you, but at the end of a day its not a hollywood film and horses personalities and who they react to differ.
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She unties herself to follow me around like a puppy, and gets grumpy if I give the Shettie attention, she trusts me and I trust her out hacking. I am very lucky indeed! Like I said of course there is an element of ego. I don't know if she 'loves' me, I doubt it, but she trusts me and sees me as 'hers' Thats enough for me
 
Wagtail said:
As a yard owner who only does part and full livery, I can categorically say that horses definitely know who their special human is, and that is normally their owner. This is providing they visit a few times a week and not leave them for weeks on end. It's the quality time you spend, talking to them, grooming them and riding them which is far more important to them in terms of bonding than turning them out, mucking them out and even feeding them.
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Absolutely agree with Wagtail :)

They know THEIR person/people.

I did full board and those horses never pricked up their ears and came running to me (chief cook and bottle washer - ingrates - kidding ;) ) as they would when they heard their owners truck, or they were called. Mind, although I gave them every care and they wanted for nothing I didn't have the time or inclination to do much else than see to their needs. I didn't give them treats or spend hours brushing them. I often ended up actually knowing them better than their owners because I saw them all the time - but I never let on about that :)
 
Arianrhod said:
Thanks, but I won't ever be her sole carer, as she will always have to be on full livery at my friend's yard, since there will never be a time (well, not in the next 9 years or so until my little 'uns go off to secondary school) that I can get to the yard every day to see to her. My friend will always be her primary carer, as full livery yard owner.
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I worked in livery yards for years and the horses definitely knew their real owners, they do develop a bond with their carers but it does depend on how the human interacts with the horses. DOn't stress your horse will love you too.
 
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