Is the owner messing me about?

At the end of the day, the horse is the owners resposibility if she didnt want that she should have sold 3 years ago or gifted the horse to the op, then it would have been her resposibility to rehome and maybe when she realised her cicumstances had changed she would have sorted something straight away, rather than letting it carry on to the stage where she cant afford to feed.
I dont disagree with loaning, i loaned out daughters first pony for a year before selling as it was an easier step for a young girl than selling, but when they gave me notice i collected 4 days later. What i disagree with is when people loan out because they have no means of keeping the horse if it comes back because you end up with situations like this.
 
Delicious_D said:
Can she not take over the costs for the short term, after all, it is her horse?

I feel for you, sometimes you dont know what life has coming around the corner, but what i would say was, do you not having any savings just to cover for the time being and put her on basic livery? As for the owner, it is grossly unfair to brandish her and messign you about, from a devils advocate pov, you are messing her about.
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No I don't have any savings. OH cleared out bank account on his day of departure! She is on basic livery in as much that she has a stable and grazing only. Given my circumstances I don't think I am messing her about I am concerned for the horses future and well being knowing full well that I'm no longer able to provide for her properly.
 
First of I really feel for you and hope your ok and every thing turns out the best it can :(

Is the month notice youve given her ended yet? If not maybe your just starting to panic with every thing thats going on and it may all be sorted before the months up? I dont see how anyone can say your being your in the wrong not giving 3 months, its not like youve just decided your bored of the horse and want to give her back, you actually have genuine reasons and its also not like your saying you want her returned in a weeks time so I feel a month is more the enough notcie! Such a shame for you to have had her all that time and sorted her out and spent the money on her and its come to this :( You obviously loved her enough to do all of that and to keep her with her kissing spines etc - going back to the notice its not like you found this out and want her to go back because of that and just expect her to be taken back in a month. I hope it all goes well and every thing sorts its self out x
 
I have been trying to contact the owner, but she hasn't answered any of my calls or txts.

I do have plenty of food for her for the time being so she won't be going hungry, I may well do though so I can continue to feed her as I'm not that heatless to let her get into the same state as her previous loan home did.

I too have battled with cancer over the last few years but it never entered my head to return her then, but this situation is completely different. I would move heaven and earth to keep her if I could
 
Fairycupcake said:
First of I really feel for you and hope your ok and every thing turns out the best it can :(

Is the month notice youve given her ended yet? If not maybe your just starting to panic with every thing thats going on and it may all be sorted before the months up? I dont see how anyone can say your being your in the wrong not giving 3 months, its not like youve just decided your bored of the horse and want to give her back, you actually have genuine reasons and its also not like your saying you want her returned in a weeks time so I feel a month is more the enough notcie! Such a shame for you to have had her all that time and sorted her out and spent the money on her and its come to this :( You obviously loved her enough to do all of that and to keep her with her kissing spines etc - going back to the notice its not like you found this out and want her to go back because of that and just expect her to be taken back in a month. I hope it all goes well and every thing sorts its self out x
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Thank-you for your kind words!
No the notice will end on the 28th Feb so I suppose I could be panicking for nothing! I just wish she would give me a definite date so I know where I am so to speak.
 
Well you have taken on an old and unsellable horse really so done her a favour. I think I'd say you have no where for the horse to go after the 28th and you would like to know the plan. I had my permanent loan horse thrown back at me with a weeks notice during the worst winter for 30 years between Christmas and New Year. When I went to pick her up I saw the loaner had got a new youngster hence wanted rid of my now older horse, she had her for the best years of her life as well. Your situation is rather different so I'd just put your foot down with the owner. Or say if she pays the livery you will look after her?
 
In answer to the question in the subject... no, your husband is.

He is the one who had the financial responsibility (if not loan contract) for this horse.

Can you post again asking for advice on how to get him to pay for the next two months so that you can give the owner the notice you agreed to (in cash after the fact to cover her extra costs even if not up-front)?

I'd also suggest that you try posting about how to get the most cost effective loan possible to cover immediate outgoings. Whatever Sopabox is now called may be able to help.

Good luck.
 
Tickles thank you for the suggestions but I think that may be a little difficult on both counts as I have no idea where he is or even if he's still in the country and I won't be able to get a loan if I'm having to claim benefits.

The horse in question will be fine where she is until the end of the month and a bit longer with the help of my YO and friends. I really only wanted to know what to do about her owner being evasive about when she would collect her.
 
No the owner isn't messing you about unless they are still not taking the horse back at the end of 3 months. A legal agreement is just that and the post title is out of order IMO.

It would be nice if they took the horse back earlier given the bad circumstances you find yourself in but they aren't under any obligation.

However I would be very firm about getting the return organised as soon as they are able to take the horse.

BTW I am really sorry about the circumstances and think the owner should try to help but that's as a favour to you, and they aren't messing by not jumping to it.
 
I think op has more pressing financial concerns than providing for somebody elses horse for a further 2mths..such as feeding herself & son...& getting some legal advice. Looks like she has done everything possible to sort the horse in the circumstances.
 
However I would be very firm about getting the return organised as soon as they are able to take the horse



And how would you suggest I do that when she won't answer my calls or txts?
I cannot visit her in person as she lives miles away and OH has taken the car!
 
If your children are also your ex's children, then the money he took out of the joint account may well have been theft. If you claim benefits, and your OH is working, then the CSA will find him and if necessary take some of his earning to pay for his children. I would strongly suggest that you go and see a solicitor as soon as possible (there is a free initial consultation scheme). This is about much more than the upkeep of a horse!
 
Oh Jaycee, your circumstances were way beyond your control by the sounds of it.

Imo, you have the best interests of the horse in your heart. Surely it is better to break the contract than to let the horse suffer as you struggle more and more and the owner should realise this.

You took the horse on, poured money, time and love into her, to repair the damage done by a previous loan home, which is a HUGE thing to have done.

If it were my horse i would be frantically doing everything i could to get her home.

I really dont like these owners who have horses for the kids, dont want to seel but will long term loan, and then go into shock when asked to take them back!!
I really hope all turns out well for you your son and the horse.

best wishes E,C,J,Z & LM XXX
 
I really do despair of this forum sometimes. It wasnt so long ago there was a thread bashing people keeping horses on benefits yet here some of you are suggesting she should struggle on for the next 2 months. OP i really hope you sort the situation soon, for what its worth i think the owner should be picking the horse up asap.
 
I loaned my old boy out when I was at uni and had a fair few false starts until I found the right person. She had him for nearly 2 years until she got into unforseen financial trouble. I paid his livery for 3 months with her continuing to care for him until I was in a position to have him back around 6 months earlier than originally planned. I got myself into a fair amount of debt through doing this as was hit with a fairly hefty vet bill not long after he came back to me (luckily my parents were able to loan me the money which I'm currently in the process of paying back). Had I not been in the position to be able to take him back and had I not been able to find the money for his livery then I'd've worked with his loaner to find another loan home for him. I think 3 months is an excessively long notice period personally, sudden changes of circumstances don't usually come with that much warning. Fingers crossed you manage to sort something with her owner.
 
Thank you for the above last 3 posts and your understanding of my situation. Funnily enough I had posted on the "owner claiming benefits" thread saying that I was having to give up my horses for that reason ( I didn't at that time divulge the whole sorry saga) and received comments sympathising and saying I'd done the right thing (in not so many words) by my horses! At that time I did think they were both going, how wrong can one be!
 
Just wanted to say I feel for you OP, it sounds like you have had a rough time of it all and I think that it's a little unfair that you should be expected to give such a long notice when things have happened out of your control. We read so many stories on here about loans that have gone wrong and it sounds like you are just trying to do the right thing by the horse. Good luck OP.
 
I'm about to loan my horse and I have always said that she can come back any time, in any circumstances. However I'm lucky to have my own land.
It would be hard for me to juggle it if I didn't-also you don't know the owners circumstances, maybe they are having issues too?
I think you both need to help each other as much as possible and cut each other slack-these are exceptional circumstances for BOTH of you!
 
Jaycee said:
Thank-you for your kind words!
No the notice will end on the 28th Feb so I suppose I could be panicking for nothing! I just wish she would give me a definite date so I know where I am so to speak.
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She may come forward by then but she should be in contact either way shouldnt she!

I understand fully where your coming from as this happened to me! I loved my horse more then I could ever describe but my partner decided that he couldnt handle being a family any more 2 weeks after my daughter was born, cleared out bank account and took it all leaving me with a 2 week old daughter, all of our regular joint bills and my beloved horse. I had to make a very hard and regretable choice to have to sell him there and then as I couldnt even keep myself or my new baby let alone him to the standard he had always been kept in and was I hell going to let him suffer for it! In hindsight I would of found him a full loan home but with every thing going on and other people in the back ground taking over he ended up being sold and it broke my heart and still hurts to this day 6 years later so I understand fully where your coming from! x
 
OP I can't help with regards to the horse, but if you have put a claim through can you speak to the jobcentre about getting a Crisis Loan?
 
If she wont take your calls, send her an email or text, or signed for letter advising her that her horse will be dropped off at her place on the 28th feb at x time and at her expense.

Then get a transporter to take the horse there and tell them the owner will be responsible for the costs. Dont let on there could be issues about her paying, it is not your problem. It is her property and her responsibility.

What has happened to you could not be foseen and you have to provide for yourself and your son, without watching a horse starting to suffer as well, because somewhere down the line she will get less and less food to try and make it last, this is what happens! Its called survival.

Then see a solicior and get that man of yours to take responsibility, pay up for yours and your childs upkeep.
 
For all those people saying it's their property, would you expect to walk out of a year rental without appropriate notice and not expect a bill from the landlord? Or cancel a phone contract part way through and not pay the rest of the line rental?

I have to say I'm with the owner in this. She's built in a sensible time to sort out a horse returning and you agreed to it. A landlord wouldn't care if life got a bit rough, you've signed a contract.

It will be nice for you if owner takes her back sooner, but without it yet being a month I think your title and complaint is a bit out of order.

I'd move mine in a heartbeat in this situation but legally you signed a contract which you are breaking and she's already being fair letting you do a month without complaints about it.
 
She may have signed a contract but the horse is the one that is going to suffer if she is forced to keep it for 3 months with no income and not able to buy hay etc for it.

I don't think paying for a phone etc is the same as taking a horse on loan. After you have finished paying for the phone it becomes yours whereas the horse will always belong to the owner until she choses to sell it and it is therefore ultimately her responsibility.

It sounds like the owner is unable to care for the horse either at the moment but hopefully he/she is sorting out a new loan home asap. :(
 
Line rental isn't yours? I don't pay for my phone as SIM only but I sure as hell couldn't decide to just switch with no notice.

Yes the horse may suffer and the owner should come get it as I would... But to complain I think is out of order. She's already broken contract and owner is removing with a month rather than 3. Expecting it at less than that and slating an owner who hasn't broken contract is frankly taking the piss.

Why do any of us bother with contracts if they mean nothing?
 
PandorasJar said:
Line rental isn't yours? I don't pay for my phone as SIM only but I sure as hell couldn't decide to just switch with no notice.

Yes the horse may suffer and the owner should come get it as I would... But to complain I think is out of order. She's already broken contract and owner is removing with a month rather than 3. Expecting it at less than that and slating an owner who hasn't broken contract is frankly taking the piss.

Why do any of us bother with contracts if they mean nothing?
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Wouldnt it be a responsible thing for the owner to actually discuss with OP - from what I have gathered reading it all, OP has given (will have by end of feb) 1 months notice, but heard nothing back from Owner

Its still Owners horse regardless of contract - surely these exceptional circumstances should be taken into account when loaning out? and regardless of this, Owner sticking her head in sand isnt helping the horse.......


ETA: Just wanted to say Im sorry youre going through a really ***** time OP. I think you should seek advice from CAB x
 
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PandorasJar said:
Line rental isn't yours? I don't pay for my phone as SIM only but I sure as hell couldn't decide to just switch with no notice.

Yes the horse may suffer and the owner should come get it as I would... But to complain I think is out of order. She's already broken contract and owner is removing with a month rather than 3. Expecting it at less than that and slating an owner who hasn't broken contract is frankly taking the piss.

Why do any of us bother with contracts if they mean nothing?
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Have to agree with this. A contract is a contract. I wouldn't dump this poor horse back on it's owner without any forewarning as it may well end up being returned back to you to live out the other 2months of your notice period

It sounds like the owner is arranging things so she can take it back quite a lot earlier than she legally has to, even if she is doing it a bit slowly. If you start complaining that she isn't doing it quick enough, she may well turn round say say that she still has another two months to get everything sorted and then you truely are up **** creek without a paddle!

Is there anything you can do to help her get things ready? Maybe the stable just needs a bit of fixing up, or some things haved to be moved around. Offering a hand could help the job get done quicker

OP truely sorry to hear you are having a bad time, I hope the situation resolves itself soon
 
From the way I read it a month's notice has been given, owner is sorting somewhere (so contact has been made) and loaner keeps contacting owner in the meantime to get rid sooner than the month.

I just don't think it's fair on the owners side to have someone break a contract which the op shouldnt have signed and then be slated for it.

What is the point of having a sensible contract to arrange a return and then having that broken, they may as well not have bothered with it.
 
russianhorse said:
Wouldnt it be a responsible thing for the owner to actually discuss with OP - from what I have gathered reading it all, OP has given (will have by end of feb) 1 months notice, but heard nothing back from Owner
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It isn't the end of February yet, so it hasn't even been a month and OP is already complaining and saying owner is messing her around.

Its still Owners horse regardless of contract - surely these exceptional circumstances should be taken into account when loaning out? and regardless of this, Owner sticking her head in sand isnt helping the horse.......
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How do we know what the owners circumstances are at present? Seems a bit presumptious of people to think that it's only the OP who might be going through a hard time :confused: A contract is a contract, how the owner chooses to deal with this is up to her. If OP lets the horse become emaciated or doesn't feed it whilst in her care, then the authorities would most likely become involved. It is OP who legally has the duty of care for this horse at the moment although one would hope the owner would not allow this to happen.

I totally agree with you PandorasJar. OP signed a contract to give 3 months notice, just as you may have to with a rental house or telephone line. If I was the owner I'd have taken the horse back immediately but my situation would allow that, the owner's may not.
 
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