Is this fair? It's a funny one!

scatty_mare

scatty_mare

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 June 2010
Messages
514
Visit site
I am looking to loan or share my mare. After not finding ANYONE suitable I've been offered share situation. On the surface sounds great as is just across the road from my other horse, but then you dig deeper and see the potential pitfalls. Can't decide if it's fair, not fair, or if I'm expecting too much...

What is proposed is that my horse moves to the sharer's stables. (attached to their house, it's idyllic.)
Sharer has no experience of looking after horses. Has been riding at a riding school for 2 years. Consequently will require a lot of help, guidance and supervision.

Sharer would like to have the horse 3 days a week during school time, and up to 7 days during school holidays. She would like me to fit in entirely with her. I will only ride when she doesn't want to ride.
The sharer requires constant supervision while riding, requires me to teach her and her daughter on my horse. I physically can't be there every time she rides but there are other competent people about. She wants me to be there more because she'll have to pay everyone else.
She will need me to go there every day, twice a day to begin with. I'm hoping that after a couple of weeks she'll at least be able to turn out on her own but not too sure.

Sharer's contribution to horse's keep will be the stable and grazing. I will pay for feed, hay, bedding, shoes, vet's bills and insurance.

My main reason for looking for a loan home for my mare
1. finances and 2. time. I work full time and am starting a business plus training for a marathon and I have another horse at a different yard... so time is precious and supervising her constantly is going to be a bit of a pain in the proverbial. However I'm prepared to put myself out initially if it means that longterm we have a workable situation.It would be great to keep the mare close by, and an added bonus if I could still ride her.

The sharer doesn't seem to realise what it costs to run a horse, and is seeing it that she's doing me a favour by saving me livery. Does not see she is getting the use of a very nice horse as little or as much as she requires plus lessons, babysitting and horse care all thrown in for free. I would be getting free livery but still paying for everything else and not getting to ride my horse much, because I guess that every time I have time to ride her I will be teaching the other lady instead. Hmmmmmm.

What do you think? Half of me thinks great, go for it, and the other half is screaming RUN WHILE YOU CAN!
 
that's a joke, right??? :eek:

She gets......a horse, riding lessons & no responsibility or costs

You get..... a stable & paddock, still pay for everything & have to give your time for free & still do all the work.

No, it's not fair & not a good deal from your perspective.
 
Laugh in her face. Sounds like a selfish, spoilt, deluded......(you get the picture.:D)
Let her buy her own horse, pay for its upkeep and pay for her own RI, saddler, farrier, vet, backman, EDT and feed merchant.
 
OK so I'm not being unreasonable thinking this is a bit much!

I think I've got a bit caught up in trying to find a way to make it work that I've lost my sense of perspective! Thanks for restoring it.
 
scatty_mare said:
OK so I'm not being unreasonable thinking this is a bit much!

I think I've got a bit caught up in trying to find a way to make it work that I've lost my sense of perspective! Thanks for restoring it.
Click to expand...

Yes, I know. I had an offer of someone wanting to 'loan' one of one. Apparently, the deal was, that I pay the bills, muck out etc and the loaner would ride it for me. Hmmmm, now let me think...
 
Gluttonforpunishment said:
that's a joke, right??? :eek:

She gets......a horse, riding lessons & no responsibility or costs

You get..... a stable & paddock, still pay for everything & have to give your time for free & still do all the work.

No, it's not fair & not a good deal from your perspective.
Click to expand...

This!!!

She is making so many demands! What she wants is a part time loan, but to not have to pay for it. Would you really be happy handing your mare over to someone who doesn't know how to look after a horse?

My biggest worry is that she wouldn't be able to spot if something were wrong. I know what normal Bruce is, I know what unhappy Bruce is. Will she think anything of a slightly sweaty horse that isn't weeing/pooing and eating? To me, that's colic. But to her....she might just ignore it? Would she be able to recognize a lame horse and NOT ride it?...

Don't lose sight of what you really want for you and your horse. Sorry, but I think this person is far too inexperienced, not to mention taking you and your horse for granted for zero money and effort.

RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!
 
horserider said:
Yes, I know. I had an offer of someone wanting to 'loan' one of one. Apparently, the deal was, that I pay the bills, muck out etc and the loaner would ride it for me. Hmmmm, now let me think...
Click to expand...

Doesn't sound very fair to me! But it's such a blurry line - some people pay to ride, I'm lucky I get paid to ride - but no wonder people get confused.

I'm really running out of solutions though, bless her she's a lovely mare but she can no longer compete at the level I want to, and I can only really afford one horse. I won't sell her but i cannot find a suitable loan home. At least this way I could keep an eye on her.

Maybe if I was stricter about how much I want to ride, then it would more of a fair share.
So if she has her for her 3 days, and then I have her 4 days including one weekend day each, and I pay for general keep, she provides stabling and grazing, we split vet's bills and insurance.
If she wants her for more days she pays a larger proportion of costs.

Does that sound better?
 
nikkimariet said:
This!!!

She is making so many demands! What she wants is a part time loan, but to not have to pay for it. Would you really be happy handing your mare over to someone who doesn't know how to look after a horse?

My biggest worry is that she wouldn't be able to spot if something were wrong. I know what normal Bruce is, I know what unhappy Bruce is. Will she think anything of a slightly sweaty horse that isn't weeing/pooing and eating? To me, that's colic. But to her....she might just ignore it? Would she be able to recognize a lame horse and NOT ride it?...

Don't lose sight of what you really want for you and your horse. Sorry, but I think this person is far too inexperienced, not to mention taking you and your horse for granted for zero money and effort.

RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!
Click to expand...

^^^^^ These are big and major worries for me. It is why I am prepared to be there twice a day - not for the woman but for the horse.
It is still risky though. Like you say, if she looked colicky and she fed her anyway, or if she was lame...
ooooooh it might all be a big massive mistake. Do you know anyone who wants a lovely mare on loan? PM for details!
 
:rolleyes:

I think that you need to sit down at the table and get some facts and costings straight with this potential sharer and then get it down on paper, I can see this going pear shaped.

OK, so she will be saving you livery fees, that's what? xxx amount per month? If she is riding the horse then it is only fair that she pays all, or a percentage of the shoeing costs, also hay and bedding. You will be 'training' her, yes, this will in the long run benefit you and is necessary for the well being of your horse, but riding lessons cost how much?

Here a share of a horse is, for arguments sake, $350 a month, that covers the sharers part of upkeep and board and they have a set amount of days to ride.

If you think that this arrangement could work out before you get fed up with giving away everything for nothing (which is how I see it from your original post) you need to start at a set sum per month and deduct (board, other costs, wear and tear if you like to put it that way, ) from there until you come to an amount you agree upon.

Good Luck, I am afraid if someone offered me that deal I would be thinking long and hard about it.
 
scatty_mare said:
What do you think? Half of me thinks great, go for it, and the other half is screaming RUN WHILE YOU CAN!
Click to expand...

I hope you are still running!

Offer them to share the mare with you on YOUR prescriptive terms: YOUR livery yard, THEIR money (as a share at £25 approx per week) and THEIR responsibility to do 3 days per week, every week, including holidays as that is when its summer daylight and shock horror you would like to ride your own horse sometimes too. They would be supervised for X weeks and/or until you feel they are competent. I would also put in a clause that they have a lesson with an instructor, paid for by them, once a week.

Honestly, the bleeping cheek of some people! They clearly want a horse for free and need a gentle (or not so gentle) bump down to earth that there is a reason they won't find that arrangement with ANYONE else - its because its completely unreasonable!
 
Enfys said:
:rolleyes:

I think that you need to sit down at the table and get some facts and costings straight with this potential sharer and then get it down on paper, I can see this going pear shaped.

OK, so she will be saving you livery fees, that's what? xxx amount per month? If she is riding the horse then it is only fair that she pays all, or a percentage of the shoeing costs, also hay and bedding. You will be 'training' her, yes, this will in the long run benefit you and is necessary for the well being of your horse, but riding lessons cost how much?

Here a share of a horse is, for arguments sake, $350 a month, that covers the sharers part of upkeep and board and they have a set amount of days to ride.

If you think that this arrangement could work out before you get fed up with giving away everything for nothing (which is how I see it from your original post) you need to start at a set sum per month and deduct (board, other costs, wear and tear if you like to put it that way, ) from there until you come to an amount you agree upon.

Good Luck, I am afraid if someone offered me that deal I would be thinking long and hard about it.
Click to expand...


Enfys, you are so wise and rational.

We sat down and discussed it yesterday for about 2 hours, what I put in the original post is really what she wants, not what we agreed upon. We didn't finally agree on anything - she was going to ask her husband if he was happy to pay for bedding (if I pay for everything else)... but she didn't think he would be.

The lady seems nice, and I don't think she means to be demanding - I think she genuinely doesn't realise just how expensive horses are.

My other worry is that the reality of having a horse at home won't live up to how she imagines it and it will only last for the summer anyway.

I'm getting very cold feet here. Tempting as it might be, I don't think I want to risk my horse's welfare. She's a very tolerant mare but it doesn't mean she deserves to be ridden badly!
 
What a joker! Agree with others sentiments, sounds like a selfish spoilt brat, only she's clearly not a child as she has a daughter! I wouldn't want anyone with that sort of attitude anywhere near a horse that was mine. Imagine how stroppy they got if the horse wasn't perfect?

My first share was a riding school horse that I shared with the school. He was £150 a week. In that price both me and my brother got only x1 hour long group lesson each per week, obviously when he was free and hadn't had his max work for the day we could ride or hack him whenever we wanted to so long as he wasn't scheluded on by the school. We rota'd on a week on week off basis for mucking out, turning out, bringing in, feeding etc.

You and your horse can do a lot better than what's been suggested, that situation would only end in tears.
 
I haven't read everyone's posts, but you need to charge her for your time, and for the hire of your horse by the sounds of it!


Seriously though, they sound naive. They may have bought a lovely house with land and stables and want to live the 'dream' but it's very selfish of them (although they probably have no comprehension of that) to expect you to provide them with a free horse, free tuition while you are still paying for the feed and maintenance and doing the majority of the hard work.

I don't think I would want to be in that situation. If it goes wrong, or you start to get fed up being called upon to assist them every day, it might become a real nightmare for you, and being stuck on their yard could cause problems in itself. They will probably blame you if it doesn't work out.

Also, what will happen if your horse is not happy living alone on their yard - some horses have a real problem with living alone and their character completely changes, and can become spooky and nervy - not good for a novice.

These are just my thoughts - obviously I don't know them, you or the pony, so I might be wrong. :) Good luck with whatever you decide
 
scatty_mare said:
Enfys, you are so wise and rational.

We sat down and discussed it yesterday for about 2 hours, what I put in the original post is really what she wants, not what we agreed upon. We didn't finally agree on anything - she was going to ask her husband if he was happy to pay for bedding (if I pay for everything else)... but she didn't think he would be.

How convenient ;)

The lady seems nice, and I don't think she means to be demanding - I think she genuinely doesn't realise just how expensive horses are.

Doesn't realise or doesn't want to know?

My other worry is that the reality of having a horse at home won't live up to how she imagines it and it will only last for the summer anyway.

I'm getting very cold feet here. Tempting as it might be, I don't think I want to risk my horse's welfare. She's a very tolerant mare but it doesn't mean she deserves to be ridden badly!
Click to expand...

last bit says it all really!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top