Is this gonna get better ?

Flossy1

Flossy1

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This is so hard to admit but ,my mare who I've only had 4 months I just don't seem to get along with her and Im trying so hard ,
I have a 16:3 Irish draught who is a total gent and whom I know inside out ,he loves country but not showjumping so much ,that's why I bought my mare cuz she's an amazing jumper , she's Irish sports horse , I put her on schooling livery so we could get experience together ,the lady who teaches me says she's an ace horse and once I get her we will be a good team ,she can whizz her round jumps and no have a bother ,I've fallen off her so many times I just don't know if I can do it anymore ,she reared which she's never done before and I fell off ,and really hurt myself , and I've fallen off when she spooks and she seems to really take the mick out of me ,I do keep getting back on but I'm more nervous every time I do , I've never fallen off my other horse and I know they are completely different rides and she is lovely in stable and everything else ,is it gonna come are we going to click ? Cuz right now I don't feel it :(
 
I'm not an expert at all but when I read your post the thing that sprung to my mind is that some of my friends mares are definitely 1 person horses, they will do anything for their rider but can be temperamental with other riders.
Maybe your mare is one of those and is bonding with your instructor.
Once you get her home and are riding her and looking after her by yourself, things will improve.
If she is talented it's got to be worth trying :) Good luck with her
 
If I were you, I'd stop jumping her and ride her out on some really long hacks, three or four hours a day for a couple of weeks.
Ride her till you are really confident on her, then start the jumping again, but slowly over low jumps. If you have problems, back to long rides.
If you carry on doing what your doing you will lose confidence and so will she and you may as well get rid.
You need to build your confidence and she will take confidence from you.
 
It isn't good that every time you get back on you are more nervous, and obviously that can't be heped (heck I'd be shaking in my boots!) because she will feel that and think there's something wrong when you get on. Therefore playing up. So the vicious circle needs to be broken, that is the first thing.

Swampdonkey is right that she may be bonding with her instructor, though you don't say how much she rides her. Mares are tricky like that though, they either love you or hate you. To be honest a lot of mares hate me, so I've never owned one, but recently I've come across a beautiful 3yo mare where I'm training in Gemany, and we clicked immediately and now you won't get me off her! So sometimes you have to be lucky.

But it is worth a try to have someone ride her (like your instructor) to put the respect back in her again. She may not like you, but that doesn't mean she can be rude and spook and rear! If she learns again that under saddle she MUST behave, then that is a starting point because you will feel more secure when you ride her.

Believe me, you CAN train a horse out of spooking, my gelding did it a lot and jumped around squealing just to take the p**s and once I got some intensive training on him to sort his respect issues out, now he is an absolute doll.

She sounds lovely though and has good potential, a very exciting horse to own! Good luck :D
 
I think mares can be as difficult as stallions, both are a bundle of hormones and can be very sensitive, try bonding with her and working from the ground for a few sessions, leave the jumping until youre both happier with each other
 
I think you are being very brave, I wouldn't keep getting back on the way you are. I dont have any advice on the riding but I have owned mares for years.

Mares can take a long long time to settle into a new home. Our old mare, who moves with our other two and us, can take 6 months upwards to settle into a new yard. When we first bought her my daughter did not bond with her for 18 months. Once they did the mare would do anything for her.

Mares are often less tolerant to pain issues, saddle fitting etc, has she been checked out.

Our younger mare can be a total stress head. We found major improvements by feeding Yeasac and Chaste Berry. One acts on the gut the other on hormones. Dont know which is working but I wont mess things up trying to find out :D

You say you have her on schooling livery. I would also look at whether her schooling / management is aimed at making it work for you or the yard. Have you looked at how much turnout she is getting, exactly what they are feeding her and how much exercise. Not looking after her yourself will also make bonding take longer.

If non of that works, I would think about trying another instructor. Might sound harsh but you might need a different perspective.

Good luck.
 
Alongside all the issues with mares I wonder if you have also bought a competition horse rather than an all rounder? The first transition onto an animal bred and trained to compete can be quite jarring. Some Irish Sports horses also come with some interesting quirks which have thier roots in how they are broken and trained. (Mine included!)

All new horses go through the "new pony horrors" to some extent and some take a while. There will be an element of that. It took our ISH competition pony a good 6 months to gel with our daughter and I did have my doubts during that time that he was the right pony for her - and we knew we had bought a top flight competition animal. But it did come good eventually.

4 months isn't a hugely long time. But there is also no point in damaging your confidence or risking serious injury. It might be worth talking to your instructor and possibly also getting another instructor for a different view point.
 
Hi

I'm with Pale Rider, if i were you i would try to take any pressure off of you & the mare & just enjoy being around her & getting to know what makes her tick. Going for long hacks is a fantastic way to start to build a relationship with her as you don't know what you'll come across & will have to deal with all sorts of situations. She needs to start to trust you & look to you for leadership, then i think that you'll be fine together.

I love mares & we've had lots of them but the old saying is often true 'you tell a gelding but ask a mare' (nicely!)

Good luck with her.
 
I persume with a name like cruz she is by crusing. All of crusings are difficult to ride, sharp is what you'd call it, its in the breeding. the more you ride sharp horses the better they get, but they will always be sharp. Lunge before you ride and riding every day will help.
 
Rockysmum makes a good point re the schooling livery, I would question whether they are actually doing the job correctly, they should be helping to get her more settled and right for you not having her sharp so they can enjoy her.
You should ask how much feed she is getting, does she get plenty of time turned out, are they riding her to get her more established for you or trying to improve her way of going in general. It could be that with some sensible changes to her routine she settles down and becomes the horse you want not the sharp competition horse they are making her into. You are the client so you can ask them to make some changes and see if it helps.
 
Pale Rider said:
If I were you, I'd stop jumping her and ride her out on some really long hacks, three or four hours a day for a couple of weeks.
Ride her till you are really confident on her, then start the jumping again, but slowly over low jumps. If you have problems, back to long rides.
If you carry on doing what your doing you will lose confidence and so will she and you may as well get rid.
You need to build your confidence and she will take confidence from you.
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Thanks for all the advice ,but I think long hacks is gonna be the answer for now ,I had my first hack out today and it was a lot less pressure ,I didn't mention the fact she was chestnut ,people keep telling me chestnut ares are difficult anyway ,I just hope in time we click and I get to know her inside out ,I think it's just gonna take some time !
 
people keep telling me chestnut ares are difficult
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^ Utter rubbish - don't let them put doubts in your head based on silly old wives tales.

I wish you lots of luck with your horse, enjoy your hacks and take things from there. :)
 
rockysmum said:
Mares are often less tolerant to pain issues, saddle fitting etc, has she been checked out.

You say you have her on schooling livery. I would also look at whether her schooling / management is aimed at making it work for you or the yard. Have you looked at how much turnout she is getting, exactly what they are feeding her and how much exercise. Not looking after her yourself will also make bonding take longer.

If non of that works, I would think about trying another instructor. Might sound harsh but you might need a different perspective.
Click to expand...


I agree. IMO all horses but mares in particular think they belong to the person who feeds the/turns them out, rather than the rider, especially if more than one person rides.
If there is no improvement soon, I'd take her home and do her yourself for a while then get a good instructor to come to you.
 
I agree that colour is not really a factor in a mares behavior, lol.
My mare is a chestnut, coincidentally, and can be a stress head, and was a bolter, but now if she starts to lose her confidence, it's me she turns too, both under saddle and on the ground. It feels quite empowering when you know she is unsure, and finds comfort in just standing close to you.

Your horse sounds like she will be a cracker once she decides, your the leader. Horses like this when ridden well, do what you want virtually when you mearly think about it.
Once you have got over the initial problems, this sort of horse is a brilliant, easy, exciting ride.

Your lucky to have her, good luck.
 
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