Is this taking the pee..

[Getoutmypockets]

Hi all

Bit of an essay I'm sorry. Recently I changed jobs however my horses are at my old place of work on DIY liver with paid for services if I choose (staff permitting). Whilst I was still there (predominantly a riding school as income) my horses went through the vetting as few of my friends (mostly other staff) ride there for lessons and wanted to ride them
So on owners suggestion went through the vetting. It cost me nothing and no issue with this.

I have recently left however all friendly and horses remained there. No requests for use of one of my horses until last week. I agreed an apprentice could take him for a ride with the yard owner. Previously in lessons we had discussed trying a different bit, he's a cob with good breaks but does hang on you going into canter, and loves a good old gossip with anything he passes craning his neck to reach! he's very green schooling wise so to be expected however I just mentioned this as a pre warning for the ride. I see pictures of him in a Pelham, he's usually in a full cheek snaffle but I see him in a Mullen mouth Pelham with roundings. We never discussed something along these lines.

Since that day I've had requests for taking him to shows for someone entirely different with promise they'd practice for a discipline he's never tried (xc) with not even an offer for me to come. I did say no. But frankly I'm paying diy and on the odd day paying for a turnout yet my horse has been ridden in a Pelham from s snaffle (that he works nicely in) when breaks are not an issue and now requests to take him to shows. He's never done xc before and isn't great over poles as no respect (not seen them really) so the first few he trots through sending poles all over the school.

I just think it's really cheeky to a. Ask for them to take him offsite without me and b. Change to such strong bit with s rather novice rider on board.

I realise it's good for him to have exercise when I'm not able to but really?! Not even a free turnout/muck out in return and my tack being thrown back in tack room not to mention the horse! Funnily enough they aren't do bothered on my pony that tries it on with new people!

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here but this isn't entirely right surely?

Wine and cake to anyone who reads I'm just s bit confused and ranging from fuming to 'I'm over reacting'

 

[SusieT]

I think asking isn't off bounds at all - you said no. It would be a problem if they asked and then went anyway!
So are you on DIY and no longer doing the care or paying full livery? What is your long term plan?

 

[Getoutmypockets]

Paying DIY doing all care but id say once a week paying for s turnout as extra due to shifts

 

[SusieT]

ok. if you're not happy with them asking (and in fairness if you let them do the vetting many places would expect to get some use from your horse for that) then move.

 

[JennBags]

I think you're over reacting. Just say you don't want him used in the riding school any more, simples.

 

[Dave's Mam]

Changing bit is out of order.

 

[mytwofriends]

I don't like the Pelham/novice rider on board bit.

So is your horse on working livery? If so, I guess that's all fine (although some proper schooling with a pro before going XC would be required in my opinion). If he's on pure DIY, then no, I'd say no and mean no. Or I'd move.

 

[Jingley]

I would be irritated to be honest OP. If there is no contract in place to say your horses are used in the riding school regularly and its just ad hoc then i think changing the bit and asking to take to shows is a bit cheeky. ESPECIALLY as there is no reduced rate on your DIY livery or favours for you if you know what i mean. It is after all wear and tear on your horse. If my horse was regularly used in lessons, i would want a reduced rate of livery bill. It is common courtesy to ask your permission about bits too.

 

[Arzada]

It's very simple. Just say No to every request or if you prefer to address the issue up front once and for all say that your horse is no longer available.

 

[Theocat]

I think you need to decide what it is that's actually bothering you, and what you want out of it, before you speak to them. Is it that you don't want him ridden? Or is it that you don't actually mind him being ridden, but feel you ought to be getting something (help with care) in return?

Even if it's the latter, they shouldn't be changing tack without asking you first, but to be honest I'd be hearing alarm bells that they want to take him xc when he hasn't worked out trotting poles yet - I'm not sure I'd let anyone with that mindset have any involvement with him under saddle!

 

[Getoutmypockets]

He's on DIY. Thanks everyone a broad range of opinions! Certainly something I have to think about

 

[rhylis]

Is it at all possible that they've been using him a lot more than just when they've asked too? Maybe I'm just cynical but I couldn't help but wonder that as I read your post.

 

[Getoutmypockets]

Well I'd like to think not but I suppose it's possible :/ I massively doubt it as class the YO as a friend but I suppose I've inadvertently opened that up as 'oh she won't mind' luckily I have found a good friend who is more than happy to do jobs in return for riding so hopefully this will no longer be an issue. Also found my avacello gel seat saver ripped today on the seam so not overly happy as it was pretty much new... bit crusted in crap. Lesson learned! Obviously horse more important than equipment but for such rare occasions i expect my things to be returned as leant. If it was a regular thing yes wear and tear happens but.. For once in a while, I'd atleast expect a sorry xyz happened and this is why is broken or whatever.

 

[LadySam]

Is it at all possible that they've been using him a lot more than just when they've asked too? Maybe I'm just cynical but I couldn't help but wonder that as I read your post.

Yeah, I wondered the same thing. As you say OP, if you are friends it might be a case of "Oh she won't mind."

At the beginning of this thread, I thought changing the bit was out of line but might have been a one off, and asking to take the horse to a XC event when he can't trot over poles was a stupid thing to ask, but no harm done. Having had a bit more of the story now, I think they are taking advantage of your good nature and don't have any respect for your property, whether it's the horse or the tack.

I hope it's no longer an issue for you OP, with your good friend riding. You are entirely justified in making your horse off-limits for the riding school.

 

[SEL]

I took one of mine off working livery. They used him when he was lame (another owner told me he was lame under saddle, not the school), I found he had been left in a stable tacked up without water or hay (again, another owner found him), more than once I found him tacked up without any sign of being groomed or having his feet picked out plus he has a weight limit which was totally ignored. I could never find his bridle and my saddle was scratched quite badly when chucked back in the tack room.

It was helpful because he needed the exercise, but he's arthritic so was limited as to what he could do and I think if I wasn't around they just ignored the instructions. Never again!

 

[smja]

What does your preferred outcome actually look like? Do you mind them using him as long as you get something in return, or do you not like them using him except in extremis? You need to work out what you would be happy to accept before discussing with them.

If YO is a friend, maybe a quiet non-confrontational word to understand why the pelham - it could be that student was nervous and wanted a 'safety net' but didn't really use it, or YO wanted to minimise risk. How I'd go from there would depend on how plausible the explanation was - it could just be a misunderstanding of your previous discussion about bits.