Is this too cheeky to ask?

Mince Pie

Mince Pie

Well-Known Member
Joined
13 June 2011
Messages
9,756
Visit site
I sold my pony last year to a lovely lady who lives nearby. She is more than happy for me to pop up and see him (I had him nearly 10 years and only sold due to injury) but would it be a bit too cheeky to ask if I could hop on for a ride? It wouldn't be a regular thing but I've recently started sharing another pony who is lovely but I find myself really wanting to get back on my old pony for an hour or so. If you were his new owner would you find this a bit rude?
 
For me it would depend entirely on how you asked. It would be important to me that you knew it was a gift, not some sort of right.

I had a horse where the previous owner retired, then informed me that he now had time to come and ride the mare, and was quite put out when I said no.
 
Oh definitely, I wouldn't assume anything at all. They have had him now for over a year and he is definitely their pony, I see photos on Facebook and I'm delighted that they are enjoying him. I think that it's just very strange to be riding again but not on him as I had him so long. It definitely wouldn't be a regular thing.
 
I think if I was the new owner I'd be a bit freaked out by this. I'd be wondering if this was the start of ever more requests, and I'd probably start to be less encouraging about you visiting. I'm sure you wouldn't take advantage, but if I was in this position and didn't know you very well I would start to worry a bit.
 
Cowpony said:
I think if I was the new owner I'd be a bit freaked out by this. I'd be wondering if this was the start of ever more requests, and I'd probably start to be less encouraging about you visiting. I'm sure you wouldn't take advantage, but if I was in this position and didn't know you very well I would start to worry a bit.
Click to expand...

They've had him a year and we've been in regular contact over FB, I have popped up for the odd visit - maybe 3 or 4 times since they bought him. I don't want to be the overbearing old owner at all which is why I'm asking :)
 
I let my horses old owner ride occasionally. I would let a friend ride so it's similar for me. She doesn't take the mick and we are just both open about it (if I want to ride that day I would tell her another day would be better for example)
 
I wouldn't like if old owner asked, but I would probably offer if old owner came to visit (and secretly hope they didn't say yes lol!)
 
I'm not sure that it's a good idea to ask, it could come across as needy and pushy, and make the new owners anxious.

I've told the former owner of my new mare that she's welcome to visit and ride her (it was a reluctant sale), she didn't ask me if she could, but I feel comfortable offering her the chance. IMHO wait and hope that the new owners offer you a ride, rather than ask outright.
 
Tiddlypom said:
I'm not sure that it's a good idea to ask, it could come across as needy and pushy, and make the new owners anxious.

I've told the former owner of my new mare that she's welcome to visit and ride her (it was a reluctant sale), she didn't ask me if she could, but I feel comfortable offering her the chance. IMHO wait and hope that the new owners offer you a ride, rather than ask outright.
Click to expand...

Yes I think this is probably the way forward, it's the same situation in that I really didn't want to sell (and it was also a case of home more important than price and I sold him for peanuts) and I am genuinely really happy that they are enjoying him. I guess I just need to come to terms with regular riding on a different pony, it's just a bit difficult to wrap my head around it at the moment. Don't get me wrong my share pony is great fun and I'm really enjoying him, it's just that he isn't Ollycob :/
 
In view of the health issues that you have posted about previously, I think if I were the new owner, I would be pleased that you felt well enough to feel that you would like to ride the pony and Happy to accommodate you, occasionally. I would also be pleased that you felt that I was approachable enough to feel comfortable about asking.
 
Could you perhaps word it so it slips into a general conversation next time you're there - put feelers put.. " he's looking really well. I'm really pleased you bought him. If you ever need any help exercising him do let me know, he was such a lovely ride..." Kind of word it so that you're helping them, if they want help, not as a direct ask for a favour..
 
Going against the grain here apparently but it wouldn't bother me in the least and I'd say yes without hesitation.
I'm having a new horse next month and I will mention that the old owner is more than welcome to have a ride if she ever wants too.
 
Interesting replies, thank you so much guys. When I see her next I'll see how things go, if it feels right I might bring the conversation round to me getting on board :)
 
I don't think it would bother me if I were the new owners but I can understand why it would bother others.

What I do wonder, though, is whether this will actually help you. I know you say that you miss riding him and it was a reluctant sale...but won't riding him again just make you miss him more, especially as it is highly unlikely to be a regular thing?
 
poiuytrewq said:
Going against the grain here apparently but it wouldn't bother me in the least and I'd say yes without hesitation.
I'm having a new horse next month and I will mention that the old owner is more than welcome to have a ride if she ever wants too.
Click to expand...

It wouldn't bother me at all either, but I think I'm quite unusual in that mine is predominantly a pet and I'm happy to let anyone within reason have a sit. Saying that, back in the day when I had horses for riding, if an old owner came to visit, and I had a few do that, I always offered them a ride. I think if you can work out how to phrase it properly then even if the answer is no, then there wont be any offence taken :)
 
Honey08 said:
Could you perhaps word it so it slips into a general conversation next time you're there - put feelers put.. " he's looking really well. I'm really pleased you bought him. If you ever need any help exercising him do let me know, he was such a lovely ride..." Kind of word it so that you're helping them, if they want help, not as a direct ask for a favour..
Click to expand...

This is how I would do it too :)

Fiona
 
I sold my youngster a few years ago I'd had him since a foal and it was a difficult decision as I was moving abroad, his new owners let me go and ride him when I came home for holidays I didn't expect to ride just wanted to see him, they offered. In your shoes I would let them know that you were riding again after your health issues and hope they offered.

I have since come home and bought my boy back and the people I had sold him to have visited and ridden a few times, they sold him back to me due to injury (human not horse) and given they let me ride I don't think it would be reasonable for me to say they couldn't do the same
 
Wouldnt worry me to be asked, but then Im confident enough to say no if I wanted to. As it happens, my ponies breeder and the lady that did a lot of work with him in his early years, came to visit him recently. They live about an hour away so we made a date for them to come over, at my suggestion. They took lots of pics and had a little ride as well. Was a lovely afternoon and they have an open invitation to come again. Honeys suggestion is good, offer your help if its ever needed and hope they pick up on the subtle hint :)
 
HashRouge said:
I don't think it would bother me if I were the new owners but I can understand why it would bother others.

What I do wonder, though, is whether this will actually help you. I know you say that you miss riding him and it was a reluctant sale...but won't riding him again just make you miss him more, especially as it is highly unlikely to be a regular thing?
Click to expand...

Yes I did think about this as well, I'm not sure how I feel at the moment to be honest. The new owners are away at the moment so by the time I get back hopefully I'll have more of an idea. I'm swinging between asking to get back on board to walking away from him all together.

Don't get me wrong, I am loving riding my share, it's just after nearly 10 years of riding the same pony it's strange to get on something else!
 
Does the owner ride the horse? I do think its pretty cheeky to be fair, I'd be very shocked if a previous owner asked me! Its basically like someone selling me a car then asking to come and take it for a spin every nown and again... If you noticed the rider was struggling to ride or something then perhaps she'd appreciate it but otherwise I wouldn't ask...
 
I've offered my previous horses owner if she ever wanted to ride she could and also offered my new horse (not sold by her) if she ever wanted to ride, she could. I wouldn't be bothered if she asked me as at the end of the the day, she sold her, shes mine and I don't have to sell her so personally can't see any issue.
 
I think if you had a really good reason it might be different. Like, you had lost confidence on your new horse and wanted to sit on something you knew was safe - once - to help you along. Just doing it for 'recreational' reasons isn't quite right after you sold the horse, even for a really good reason.

That said I have been offered the same by my previous horses new owners before and also went to ride my old chap a couple of times while he was out on loan. But it was offered by the new owners / loaners rather than asked for by me.
 
I don't think it's cheeky at all. I've always said to old owners they can come and ride any time etc. and I've always been told the same by people I've sold to. I think it's just a genuinely nice thing to do and helps put everyone's mind at ease.
 
I get the impression for your own sake it might be better to try and let go.

I'm friendly with one ex owner of mine and I often offer her to come and ride as I've got several horses, but she only wants to come and visit, she's been once in over a year (I didn't buy her from her the horse was passed on twice but I had coincidentally viewed her when she was selling her then ultimately ended up with her a year later when she had been ruined). She also came to see her competing. She's happy I've got the horse and only wanted to see she was OK after the horse had had a bad time between her selling and me buying.

You've been there quite a lot I think and I'm wondering if riding the horse will just make you have further regrets.
 
I think that if they genuinely were happy to offer you the odd ride they would already have offered it.
Id say don't risk the current access you have by putting them on the spot
 
ihatework said:
I think that if they genuinely were happy to offer you the odd ride they would already have offered it.
Id say don't risk the current access you have by putting them on the spot
Click to expand...

This - 3-4 times visiting an old pony in a year is a lot and I would probably have started to feel put out now if I was the new owner.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top