Is your horse more important to you than people?

L

lauraanddolly

Well-Known Member
Joined
21 June 2005
Messages
649
Location
Isle of Wight
Visit site
I'm confused, having just split up with my boyfriend of 7 years he is now saying it was because of my horse and that he can't deal with the fact she is more important than him, I wouldn't say she was more important they are both important in different ways.
Got me to thinking about how other people deal with the horse/partner balance.
To be honest he is being unfair as he slept all day then expected me to be home to cook and eat dinner by 5pm, this didn't apply if I was at work earning money to keep him laying in bed all day. Just if I was out sorting the horse, which to be fair if not at work that is where I was.
Very confused about his points in this conversation! He is now saying I have no room for any humans in my life - I wonder how friends of mine that I see regularly would see that, in fact I sat and had coffee with a mate the other day!
 
Good Lord! Sounds like you are well shot of him tbh - sorry

I wouldn't have lasted 7 days (to get past the honeymoon period, let alone 7 years!) :eek:


My horse was always number 1 in my life, before having children. Now he's jointly in there with them :D
 
Horses are more important than just socializing to me. I could only have a relationship with someone who accepted the fact I have horses, don't think its healthy to have no outside interests anyway, all my ex's have had lives of their own anyway. There has to be some give & take in a relationship but your ex just sounds selfish.
 
Why do we not have a like button yet!!!!! I was very upset about his departure at first but now I am confused and a bit angry. He keeps quoting all he did for me, like what, we never went out or did much as a couple mostly because I apparently was at the horse! Not because he was in bed or glued to his computer!!! Getting angry now which is better than sad and upset!
 
Sounds like a whiny little b***h to me, as well as a lay-about waste of space. How insecure must you be to be jealous of a horse?! I wouldn't worry about his comments, he was clearly just trying to "hit you where it hurts" by making comments about your horse.

Tell him it's not people you don't have room for in your life, just him specifically ;).

I wouldn't say my horse was more important to me than my other half, but I think if my OH made me choose between him or my horse, my OH would quickly find himself and his things on the front lawn :D. Luckily I can't see my OH doing that!
 
Horses or any animal come to that, are totally dependant on us and so should be more important than other humans, the grown up ones that is!

Don't see the problem.
 
Lol.. Better of rid.. I love my partner (12 years) very much.. He is perfectly aware not to ever try to make me choose between him and the horses..

My horses win over him any day, no questions..

They win over most things to be fair.. I would rather chew my own arms and legs off than have children so horses rule I guess :)

As someone else said, having outside separate interests is healthy anyway.. What else is left to talk about otherwise, if nothing else?
 
My OH says he knows that Kelly is number one in my life and doesn't even let me try and dispute that he's actually joint 1 - good job he likes her too! ;)
Sounds like you're better off without OP!
K x
 
horse wins over people everytime. i chose to have a horse and it would be unfair of me to not keep my side of the bargain on that, i chose to care etc for the horse and without me doing the day to day stuff the health of the horse would suffer. a human can manage just fine with neglect and can be seen in the warm and dry when its dark outside and horsey can't be attended to ;) :p
 
My hubby of 12 years recently threw a huge paddy because Doris wouldn't load for him. He said he was sick of his life being ruled by horses, he wasn't going to take it anymore and stomped off.

I was quite upset. I sat in the field thinking "How can he leave me? I'm pregnant!". It honestly didn't occur to me until he came back that he thought the horses would be the ones who were leaving! (which, btw, would NEVER happen. I'd rather be a single parent!)

Men, know your place!!!!! :D
 
heavens above, there's no question :eek: No man ever comes before the horses. Mind you, that might be why I'm always single :p
 
I think a large part of it depends on the type of relationship you have/want and if there are children involved. If I were younger and no children, a boy friend of only a few weeks who was getting huffy at me riding would soon be told 'There's the door'. However as I've gotten older, and now married with a family, priorities naturally change.

The horses come second in my life to my family - always will. Let's look at this another way, would you like it if your boyfriends/partner put their interest/hockey game/best friend/family before you ? I wouldn't. I expect our children and myself to come first to my husband in every situation and vice versa. Before we had children the horses were still a big part of our lives but they weren't our lives if that makes sense.

Every relationship has to be about give and take, and I think outside interests should be persued, it keeps our own relationship with each other healthy in that we have our 'me time' but not to the deteriment of family time. But that is what works for my family and I. The horses are kept in a lower maintenance way in that they live out 24/7 on a large livery yard where they are checked daily by the YO, so if I can't make it up there, then I still know they have been checked. Obviously in the winter I need to be up there each day for rugging/feeding etc but it's easily planned in as the livery yard is on the way to work. It's all about compromise :)
 
Last edited:
One lad I dated came to the yard with me one day, because I wanted him to meet Neddy. The YO came over and said "I've seen your facebook status! You soppy git"
The boyfriend looked at me and smiled, but YO replied "Don't know why you're looking so happy, she was talking about Ned!! You really do love Ned more don't you?"

My reply? "Of course!!!"

Caught him cheating a few weeks later, but I honestly couldn't care less.

If men act like that, they don't deserve our love!
 
For me, my horse is not more important than my partner. I might like him to believe she is ;) but when the chips are down, my man is much more important than my horse.
Doesn't mean she doesn't rock my world though but a relationship with a human being, for me personally, beats a relationship with a horse :)
 
I waited a lot of years for my own horse, he's very special and I love him dearly. But at the end of the day if it was a choice between him and my husband the horse would be on his way!
 
Very much depends on the person, but my husband knows that if for any reason i cant afford my horses, the house goes and we move i to a flat, or buy land and
Stick a mobile chalet home on it
 
Phoebe said:
I need my horse to stop me from being a serial killer :)
Click to expand...

haha and me but yes my horse is number 1 in the pecking order of my life (all the rest are animals to) though have to say my x husband said to me many years ago it s me or the horses (bearing in mind it was my business then) so i said ok where will you go ? that was 15 years ago happy to be on my own most the time have a 29 year old son who i adore but in different ways though the other thing is i couldnt go out with anyone who wanted to come to the yard with me as thats my space :D
 
To me that just sounds like he has thought of an excuse to make it seem like it's not his fault for splitting, if you get what i mean?

If you've been together 7 years and you already had horses before you met him the he pretty much would have known the situation from the start and you don't stay with someone 7 years if you're not happy about it!

If what you're saying about hims is true it sounds like he is lazy and also has not grown up if he's still computer obsessed and can't sort his own dinner out!

Are horses more important to me than people? No, I wouldn't say so BUT I would put them first in many situations as, as said they depend on me to feed them and care for them, a human can do that for themselves in most circumstances. If a boyfriend asked me to choose between horses and him then the horses would win I'm afraid but if someone (a friend for example) needed my help and it happened to fall around the time I needed to feed the horses or something then i would of course go and help them.

There was apost on here the other day about someone emigrating to Oz and having to sell some of her horses. There is no way I would do anything like that to be honest (well, i wouldn't move to Oz anyway, have been there and don't feel it's all that special). I just wouldn't do it. My sister just moved out to India with her bloke for a couple of years and ended up having to rehome her two rescue cats so she could move -again, that is something I just would not do. If I couldn't take my dogs, horses or whatever with me I wouldn't go to be honest.
 
Embrace the anger.
"You love the horse more than you will ever love me!"
Tended to come up in arguments.

Answer being...
Bailey has been there for me in the worst times of my life, and he has given me the best times of my life. He is turned me from a mess into a masterpiece. Both he and I have had blood sweat and tears to get to where we are. I can get away from everything with him, he will not ask me questions, he understands how I am feeling, he comforts me and doesn't answer me back. He would risk his life for me, like I would risk mine for him.

So yes. I do love my horse more than I love you. :D

Blokes are just stupid to be jealous of horses.. I mean of course we love a horse more than we love a guy :p
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top