hessy12
Well-Known Member
I need my horse to stop me from being a serial killer
So I am not alone after all!!
Is your horse more important to you than people?
- Thread starter lauraanddolly
- Start date
So I am not alone after all!!
MiCsarah
Well-Known Member
I come second to football with my OH and he comes second to my horse. Works brilliantly
eatonbraynat
Well-Known Member
My ex (lol!) once said to me that 'it feels like your having an affair even though i know yor just at the yard'. He was actually likening my time at the yard to having another fella...hence the ex part.
claribella
Well-Known Member
Sorry about your relationship ending This is a really interesting subject.
Personally I think, just like I love my husband and my children in very different ways, I love my horse in a different way again. She is my peice of refuge when things are hectic, when I've had a fall out with my partner, when the kids are hard work and sometimes I think she's more intune with me than any other human being.
I think one major thing is that, like children, they need to be cared for. A partner or husband has the basic skills to live and survive ie they can cook a meal, bath themselves but the children and the horse doesnt. Well, the horse could if it was in the wild but putting on a livery yard, well they are in the same position as kids. So in our house I would say that the kids and the horse comes first and yes I do beleive it was detrimental to some stuff in my hubby and I's relationship UNTIL i sorted out a routine with my horse and made special time for my husband. When I first got her I didn't really know how she was going to fit in, it's like how everyone warns you before you have kids how hard it will be but you don't know until they come along. I have found a path which mostly suits us all as a family. My routine with my horse doesn't affect my time with my husband as much as it used to because I try to do her at times when he is working. I ride when he works and I feed her when he works. He is a teacher so over the summer holidays I tend to give her a break or ride in the evenings sometimes. It's been a real learning curve for us all as a family but he knows how much joy I get from her and wants to bless me with that.
This is a really interesting subject. Personally I think, just like I love my husband and my children in very different ways, I love my horse in a different way again. She is my peice of refuge when things are hectic, when I've had a fall out with my partner, when the kids are hard work and sometimes I think she's more intune with me than any other human being.
I think one major thing is that, like children, they need to be cared for. A partner or husband has the basic skills to live and survive ie they can cook a meal, bath themselves but the children and the horse doesnt. Well, the horse could if it was in the wild but putting on a livery yard, well they are in the same position as kids. So in our house I would say that the kids and the horse comes first and yes I do beleive it was detrimental to some stuff in my hubby and I's relationship UNTIL i sorted out a routine with my horse and made special time for my husband. When I first got her I didn't really know how she was going to fit in, it's like how everyone warns you before you have kids how hard it will be but you don't know until they come along. I have found a path which mostly suits us all as a family. My routine with my horse doesn't affect my time with my husband as much as it used to because I try to do her at times when he is working. I ride when he works and I feed her when he works. He is a teacher so over the summer holidays I tend to give her a break or ride in the evenings sometimes. It's been a real learning curve for us all as a family but he knows how much joy I get from her and wants to bless me with that.
Mlini
Well-Known Member
My horse comes first. OH can look after himself.
Suppose they are just as important as each other, in different ways.
I can imagine it would be hard having a partner that didn't want anything to do with your horse and moaned about how much time you spend with the horse. At the end of the day, you have a horse, he has to like it or lump it. There is no way I would ever sell my horse because OH wanted me to. I would get rid of him instead!!
Its not like saying 'you spend too much time at the gym etc etc..' it is a horse, the horse needs looking after.
Suppose they are just as important as each other, in different ways.
I can imagine it would be hard having a partner that didn't want anything to do with your horse and moaned about how much time you spend with the horse. At the end of the day, you have a horse, he has to like it or lump it. There is no way I would ever sell my horse because OH wanted me to. I would get rid of him instead!!
Its not like saying 'you spend too much time at the gym etc etc..' it is a horse, the horse needs looking after.
PolarSkye
Well-Known Member
charliecrisps
Well-Known Member
Ive had several men saying if i invested as much time in them as i do my animals and was as affectionate to him as i am towards my dogs then we wouldnt have split up.
Know who i choose every time!!! !
Know who i choose every time!!! !
stormyDcup
Member
So, all you people who put your horse above your partner... what would happen if you were badly injured, say you were confined to a wheelchair. Would your horse help you out? Would it spoon feed you? Would it wipe your bum and take you on outings?
Or would you hope that the partner you have ignored all those years would take pity on you?
Horses are great, but they are animals. We can look after them, make them the centre of our lives and yes, they make us exceedingly happy. But for god's sake don't neglect your human relationships. They need looking after too - and they can make us just as happy.
Or would you hope that the partner you have ignored all those years would take pity on you?
Horses are great, but they are animals. We can look after them, make them the centre of our lives and yes, they make us exceedingly happy. But for god's sake don't neglect your human relationships. They need looking after too - and they can make us just as happy.
mcnaughty
Well-Known Member
OP - your ex - What a waste of good space on the sofa where you could put your feet up! Funnily enough my first husband moaned that I spent more time on the horse than him. This is coming from the man that when I met him had lived away from home for at least 5 years but his mum still did his washing and cleaning for him! She was an old dragon too!
Anyway, if you were going to ask me seriously "family or horse" then I would always say family. I would never jeapardise my family for the sake of a horse but it would be for financial reasons only.
My OH would never make me choose because he was jealous - he plays golf far too much to rock the boat ;-) !!!
Anyway, if you were going to ask me seriously "family or horse" then I would always say family. I would never jeapardise my family for the sake of a horse but it would be for financial reasons only.
My OH would never make me choose because he was jealous - he plays golf far too much to rock the boat ;-) !!!
seoirse
Well-Known Member
I come second to footy, cricket, golf and tennis, he comes second to horse!!
We both know where we stand!Sorry to hear about your relationship break up OP. I've been in exactly the same position and several years ago ended a 7 year relationship, which frankly I should have ended much earlier than I did. He constantly made me feel guilty about time spent at the yard, despite the fact the horse was already in my life when he met me. I didn't realise how much it was actually affecting my enjoyment of the horse either til we actually broke up. The problem was he was hugely miserable with his own life, frustrated that he couldnt go and do the activities he wanted (he was too tight and indecisive to buy the mountain bike he wanted, and too up himself to join a local club to meet other bikers), he hated his job, never went out, and was generally wholly dissatisfied with everything, it was easy to blame it on my horse, but the reality was he needed to get his finger out and go and do something he enjoyed like I was. It was the fact I was enjoying myself, even if only for part of the time that he resented more than anything.
I am now happily married to a wonderful man who is a sports fanatic and who 100% appreciates how much joy I get from my horse as its the same joy he gets from golf (not sure how - I don't have to understand to appreciate!?), tennis, cricket etc.
I'm not sure I can really say who is more important as they are both hugely important to me in totally different ways and I would hate to have to chose between them and am so grateful they are happy to share me!