It’s taken me 6 months to sit on my pony. Am I being kind and sensible or do I need a kick up the ass?

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Babypony

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I have a beautiful, kind, show bred 4 year old Welsh who came to me in April. When she arrived I realised she was essentially feral. I couldn’t get a headcollar on her for a good few days. It took weeks to be able to groom her and pick out her feet. And really a good three months before I could groom her all over unbothered. She acts like a wild pony who’s been lassoed from the plains. I can catch her now, lunge her, tack her up (she’s still only 87% relaxed about this, and has a, no thank you, approach to it). Ive taught her voice commands, and to stop and steer from the bit while on the ground. I’ve chucked a tarpaulin on her multiple times and done lots of desensitisation with various objects (plastic bags, umbrellas etc) I’ve put all my weight in the stirrup. I’ve leant on her and slid down the saddle multiple times. But she is still a bit tense. And I’m wondering at this point if I’m just a ninny who needs to realise I’ve done all the ground work and just get on, or if I should keep going and wait until she’s totally relaxed with everything. I’m loath to send her away to be backed after all the work I’ve done, and potentially send her back to square one in terms of her trust and confidence. But this is so, so much longer than the time it’s taken me to back other welshes that I’m doubting myself.

I’ve backed about 10 other welshies and just haven’t encountered this attitude before. But then they also weren’t show bred. I appreciate they need to be more “dragon” for the show ring. I want her to be comfortable and unafraid when I get on her. For my safety as much as her happiness. But also the only way she has gotten over fears is to be pushed into them a little.
 
You can do whatever you want, shes your horse and you don't need to work to anybody's timescale but hers and yours.

Completely relaxed is the ideal, obviously. If you kept going as your going, your only regret might be "hmm could have done this thing a few months sooner", where if you push her she might go backwards, might hurt herself, might hurt you. If you need a justification to keep going slowly. There is a middle ground of "relaxed enough to try" tho and it sounds like you know her well enough to know when she's there.
 
smolmaus said:
You can do whatever you want, shes your horse and you don't need to work to anybody's timescale but hers and yours.

Completely relaxed is the ideal, obviously. If you kept going as your going, your only regret might be "hmm could have done this thing a few months sooner", where if you push her she might go backwards, might hurt herself, might hurt you. If you need a justification to keep going slowly. There is a middle ground of "relaxed enough to try" tho and it sounds like you know her well enough to know when she's there.
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Thanks, really appreciate this. I am feeling pushed because of someone else’s (well meaning) timescale, but in all fairness she can’t show until next spring, so really there’s no harm in taking a little longer to make sure she’s right when I get on her.
 
maya2008 said:
If you’re doing this completely alone then it honestly takes the time it takes. There is no one but you to give the pony confidence so you need to be 100% sure it’ll be ok before you proceed at every stage.
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I am pretty much. I’ve tried to beg, borrow and pay for help and it’s been tough to find anyone remotely reliable. It’s just the time scale is such a contrast to my others that I’m doubting myself.
 
If it makes you feel better I have a 5 year old that I’m literally only starting next week
She leads, loads and good for farrier + vet but never did much else
So your miles ahead compared to her timescale!
Isn’t a race should be enjoyable take your time 🥰
 
JBM said:
If it makes you feel better I have a 5 year old that I’m literally only starting next week
She leads, loads and good for farrier + vet but never did much else
So your miles ahead compared to her timescale!
Isn’t a race should be enjoyable take your time 🥰
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Thank you! That makes me feel so much better. Good luck with your five year old! Message if you want to exchange moral support
 
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The ones you’ve backed more quickly were I presume less feral to start with and took less time to get comfortable with initial handling?

From sounds of it you’re actually only a few months into being in a place where you could start pre backing training because before then you were still instilling basic handling?

Sounds like you’re doing well to get as far as you have tbh!

Honestly I’d just go with the “it takes the time it takes” mindset and if you feel she needs more time to be ready then I’d give her that. You’ll waste more time of you push before she’s ready and knock her confidence / your own and then have to undo the consequences

With a few forced yard moves, Covid, horse injuries & illness , rider injuries etc it took me 3 YEARS to get the Highland properly backed. He was most definitely NOT feral and had a fairly good grounding in groundwork. So yeah you’re doing WAY better than I was (although I’m really hoping it doesn’t take me QUITE that long with current 3 year old who may or may not be sat on next year depending on maturity as he’s deffo not ready for proper human carrying right now)
 
Have you had a Welsh pony before? Their temperament seems to be a bit more prone to over-reactions than some other breeds, so that needs to be taken into account. Also, some breeders of Welsh ponies do VERY little handling with them when young, so yours may indeed be feral! I bought one to keep my youngster company and she was very nervous of human contact, although very good to lead. she did NOT want to be touched. I got a trainer out who specialises in feral ponies (Sarah Weston: No Fear, No Force book) to help me and that made a difference.
 
No need to stress about it. Has she gotten any time off to process everything? If not, maybe that would help getting her relaxed. I find that they often get better after a few weeks of just being horses/the necessary handling, when they've processed everything that's happened to them.

One unhandled horse I had took me a few weeks to back and he was completely fine with it. Very calm horse, that's just how he was. One of my current colts, who is handled a decent amount, will need much more time. He'll get that time.
 
My sister had a youngster, handled but prone to panic. Came to her at rising 3 and she worked on her for the next year before finally backing her. First time went well but next time, we probably rushed her and my sister was sitting on her bareback and I tried to persuade her to just take a step forward, she lurched my sister inadvertently gripped to keep her balance and the mare exploded. My sister was catapulted through the air and landed head first. Fortunate not to be more than bruised. That was the last time she tried, mare is now 18.
Take whatever time is needed to get her ready, nothing to be gained by hurrying her. Read the Mylo and Myka thread some interesting info there.
 
i think you’ve done the right thing by taking it at her pace and making sure she’s comfortable with every step!

i did so much groundwork with my baby welsh, sometimes she was a gem and sometimes she took me skiing, in the end i said sod it im getting on, if she chucks me off she chucks me off😂 never looked back!
 
Some horses take longer than others, I wouldn't move on to the next step until she is 100% relaxed. As long as there is gradual improvements I would be happy. If you get stuck at one stage and she doesn't improve then I would consider doing things differently, but not faster
 
I started the backing process with my 3-year-old in June - she's pretty much taken it all in her stride but I still haven't sat on her and probably won't now until the spring. I don't want to do it until I know I have a clear run at it in terms of time - for the past few months, life has just kept getting in the way! In any case, I think she'll benefit from a few more months to grow into herself and we can spend the winter 'playing' in the school so that she doesn't forget everything. There's no rush, once the better weather comes in next spring (hopefully!), we'll be ready to crack on!

Someone on here pointed me in the direction of Richard Maxwell's book "Train Your Young Horse",and I'd really recommend it. In it, he makes the distinction between 'resignation' and 'acceptance' when a horse is faced with a situation that it doesn't like or understand. It sounds like your horse is possibly still in the resigned stage and hasn't quite reached acceptance - Maxwell recommends multiple repetitions until the horse realises that the best way to deal with the situation is to accept it.
 
Don't get on til you are certain

If you've backed others you know they tell you when they are ready


The last two I backed were 6 years old , one well handled, one wild west job

How does she react to tying something on the saddle for weight, very securely of course years ago I would tie on a weight each side of saddle

Personally I would never try getting on without a saddle, knowing they had responded well to lunging and long reining therefore under some control, backing is getting on and sitting quietly perhaps talking to someone while patting horse and not taking mind off the job, when confident they are not tense after some perhaps couple of weeks, when they feel happy then just put on the leg the horse should just walk on forwards, that's what you are aiming for, then repeat daily if horse relaxed

I suggest someone on the ground, not holding the horse, for assurance they like the comfort of the presence and the voices are calming
 
Why beat yourself up.

I have someone at my yard who had hers at 3yo. Needed a lot of time to sort out ground-issues; and this summer she sent it away as a 5yo for backing, just come back to my yard and she's now riding-on with it.

Another friend at another yard hasn't backed hers yet; I think he's 6, maybe 7?? She's still walking-out in hand. He just isn't ready for anything else just yet plus has had some lameness issues so she's taking her time.

You are not accountable to anyone; this is your pony, so you should not feel pressured.

One of my liveries recently said goodbye to her old boy of 26: she'd had him since 6 months old, he had been backed and she had ridden him, but he was by her own admission way too much horse for her and after a few scary falls on him she didn't ride him again for the rest of the life, he was a very much loved field ornament.

Your horse, your decisions. Enjoy.
 
tristars said:
Don't get on til you are certain

If you've backed others you know they tell you when they are ready


The last two I backed were 6 years old , one well handled, one wild west job

How does she react to tying something on the saddle for weight, very securely of course years ago I would tie on a weight each side of saddle

Personally I would never try getting on without a saddle, knowing they had responded well to lunging and long reining therefore under some control, backing is getting on and sitting quietly perhaps talking to someone while patting horse and not taking mind off the job, when confident they are not tense after some perhaps couple of weeks, when they feel happy then just put on the leg the horse should just walk on forwards, that's what you are aiming for, then repeat daily if horse relaxed

I suggest someone on the ground, not holding the horse, for assurance they like the comfort of the presence and the voices are calming
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This 100%

I've backed 15 plus young horses, so I get a general feeling when they're ready for first sit. But never assume anything, always have a person present with you.
 
Don't get on until you are 100% sure. And with someone on the ground. My current 'baby' I paid a freelancer to be the 'man on the ground' and she took control of the whole situation with me as the crash test dummy. It worked well.

Sounds like your lovely girl has has a very steep learning curve in the last few months. If she were mine I've be looking to give her some to settle her stomach as the stress that will have naturally come with moving homes etc 'could' have caused some ulcers. Some welshies have the 'dragon' trait and naturally seem to always be on high alert - this must cause anxiety and stress too. If you already are then sorry to preach.

My youngsters have come to me at 9 months old and from then onward's their education is to prepare them for their ridden (and driven) adult lives. So walking out nicely in hand, voice commands, standing to be groomed, standing at a mounting block, wearing different things, tack etc., trips out in the box, showing in different environments. This is all done in bite size chunks over 3 years to get them to the point of being ready for the backing process (in my opinion) so I really don't think you need to rush with getting on. I think you get tot he point where the only 'new' thing is you being sat on instead of on the ground so it becomes such a small change they just sort of shrug it off like 'mum's giving me a cuddle now' and get on with things.
 
SEL said:
I wouldn't rush anything that sounds as unhandled as yours - if something went wrong it is a giant leap backwards. Totally different to a well handled youngster who has had humans mucking about with them for 4 years.
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Completely agree with your comment on the difference between unhandled and well-handled. I think it's such a shame when people don't handle their youngsters. It just sets them up for problems for later on in life and is doing them a great disservice. It's really difficult to get over the "feral" mindset of a youngster that has just been left to its own devices. I could do anything with my well-handled homebred youngster; the feral one I bought in was very difficult. I sold her back to her breeder in the end (for a loss) as I just couldn't do much with her and despite all my patience and the help I paid for, she wasn't having any of it.
 
I bought a youngster who sounds very similar to yours, though only a bit Welsh not full and its taken a year to get to the point I can sit in him. It took ~4 months before he was comfortable being brushed all over.

Tried getting on back in July when we thought he was ready, by the standards of everything else I've broken in, and got ejected. So took a step back and did 3 more months of groundwork and prep.

Have a look at the "3 & 4 yr olds thread" in competition riders, some great suggestions of desensitising activities.

100% take as long as you need and don't let others pressure you into going faster. Getting this but right will set your horse up for life, equally getting it wrong could create a host of future problems.
 
My now 19 year old Welsh is show bred and came to me newly gelded and unhandled at 3 years old. He was hyper-reactive and would explode at anything that was out of his comfort zone. It took me 2.5 years to sit on him... I long reined him everywhere with haynets on his saddle and a cone to get him use to something being behind him - he was great until a human leant over him and he would revert back. He just didn't get it.

Interestingly, he hurt himself and was on box rest for a winter right next to the arena and it was the spring after then when I was just leading him around the mounting block and he wasn't reactive, so I just got on and he was fine. Like he watched horses being ridden and thought 'oh it doesn't look too bad!'. He became my horse of a lifetime and the ultimate adventure pony, so brave our hacking, a blast to hunt and an armchair ride. He's been retired now for a while (fetlock arthritis) but i do sometimes hope back on to do the odd errand and sometimes he's fine and loves it, other times, he reverts back to feral and launches me off haha

Just go at your pony's pace and you will reap the rewards - not riding doesn't mean you can't keep progressing. You can do pole clinics, hacking, beach rides all on the long reins - once you're on board, everything will be easy :)
 
I have been reminded time and time again by my physio not to be in a hurry as their backs aren't developed until they are 6. So mine was very lightly backed at 4, turned away, backed again but hacking out more at 5, turned away again, and will start grown up training at 6. I want a sound horse at 25 so im in no hurry if her to start work. So 1/ no harm in leaving yours to grow and 2/ get someone else to back her (I did)
 
I agree with take your time but it might be helpful to get a lesson (preferably several) off someone who backs horses and get their opinion. A 2nd pair of eyes can be useful and help get the groundwork in place and build your confidence that you are doing the right thing.
Further along the process and i had reservations about sending mine away for jumping. I didnt think he would settle. It was the best thing i could of done. He did settle and the professional was able to give him clearer instructions and built his confidence up quickly.
 
Thanks very much everyone for your kind responses. I’ve read all of them and they’ve really helped. I’ve decided to do a really thorough month of training and reevaluate after. If I feel she’s no further ahead (and this is just as much about her mental state as being ridden) I’ll look to send her away. I think I’m also going to write down exactly where she is now so I can compare after a month, as it’s easy to take for granted how far she’s come. I’m also going to put her on a valerian calmer. Which feels like admitting defeat somewhat, but it can’t be nice for her being anxious all the time. Thanks again everyone.
 
tristars said:
Don't get on til you are certain

If you've backed others you know they tell you when they are ready


The last two I backed were 6 years old , one well handled, one wild west job

How does she react to tying something on the saddle for weight, very securely of course years ago I would tie on a weight each side of saddle

Personally I would never try getting on without a saddle, knowing they had responded well to lunging and long reining therefore under some control, backing is getting on and sitting quietly perhaps talking to someone while patting horse and not taking mind off the job, when confident they are not tense after some perhaps couple of weeks, when they feel happy then just put on the leg the horse should just walk on forwards, that's what you are aiming for, then repeat daily if horse relaxed

I suggest someone on the ground, not holding the horse, for assurance they like the comfort of the presence and the voices are calming
Click to expand...
What would you suggest for weight? I initially bought 20 kg sandbags but couldn’t lift them onto the saddle (I am a weed). I’ve heard about the backing dummies but haven’t found any available to rent. I think that would really really help her.
 
Babypony said:
I have a beautiful, kind, show bred 4 year old Welsh who came to me in April. When she arrived I realised she was essentially feral. I couldn’t get a headcollar on her for a good few days. It took weeks to be able to groom her and pick out her feet. And really a good three months before I could groom her all over unbothered. She acts like a wild pony who’s been lassoed from the plains. I can catch her now, lunge her, tack her up (she’s still only 87% relaxed about this, and has a, no thank you, approach to it). Ive taught her voice commands, and to stop and steer from the bit while on the ground. I’ve chucked a tarpaulin on her multiple times and done lots of desensitisation with various objects (plastic bags, umbrellas etc) I’ve put all my weight in the stirrup. I’ve leant on her and slid down the saddle multiple times. But she is still a bit tense. And I’m wondering at this point if I’m just a ninny who needs to realise I’ve done all the ground work and just get on, or if I should keep going and wait until she’s totally relaxed with everything. I’m loath to send her away to be backed after all the work I’ve done, and potentially send her back to square one in terms of her trust and confidence. But this is so, so much longer than the time it’s taken me to back other welshes that I’m doubting myself.

I’ve backed about 10 other welshies and just haven’t encountered this attitude before. But then they also weren’t show bred. I appreciate they need to be more “dragon” for the show ring. I want her to be comfortable and unafraid when I get on her. For my safety as much as her happiness. But also the only way she has gotten over fears is to be pushed into them a little.
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Babypony said:
What would you suggest for weight? I initially bought 20 kg sandbags but couldn’t lift them onto the saddle (I am a weed). I’ve heard about the backing dummies but haven’t found any available to rent. I think that would really really help her.
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Well not so much actual weight, something stuffed and anchored firmly so it moves a bit as a rider might but not in a scary way, like stuffed sacks i used to use, with some weight but not very heavy

How does she react when you stand on a mounting block as if you were going to mount so you are above her, and have you leaned over her while on mounting block?
 
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