It’s taken me 6 months to sit on my pony. Am I being kind and sensible or do I need a kick up the ass?

[Babypony]

Well not so much actual weight, something stuffed and anchored firmly so it moves a bit as a rider might but not in a scary way, like stuffed sacks i used to use, with some weight but not very heavy

How does she react when you stand on a mounting block as if you were going to mount so you are above her, and have you leaned over her while on

She’s grand with me standing on the mounting block and waving like a lunatic, tapping her neck and poll and rump while I’m up there, moving her saddle around quite vigorously. I’ve leant on her for a second and then slid down. I’ve done that repeatedly. I’ve hopped on the stirrup and put my full weight on it, again for a second at most. She doesn’t do anything. She’s very, very kind. She just doesn’t seem to relax. It’s hard to describe but it’s still a “thing” to the point where I don’t feel ready to move onto the next step. But again, she has had to be pushed into things (albeit gently, cheerfully) to be ok with them. Her bridle is a good example. It was “no thank you” for a good 20 minutes, until I said this is happening, and put it on her while she was pulling back away from me. Now she will still pull back all bit. But it’s very much “no thank you” rather than “I’m having a conniption”.

 

[tristars]

I usually lean over while on mounting block and when they are accepting that I sort of lie over and drape arms over opposite side and start to lean weight on, if it's not a problem I stay like that for while and let them think about it so they get used to it happening, if it goes wrong it's not so scary, but ive never had a problem

Perhaps she thinks , this is new then it ends too quickly to process, but you must be guided by your gut

I think it's natural for her to brace a little under weight or move a foot to rebalance just don't get on til sure, and they can tend to lift the head to see what's happening behind

Just be calm and repeat until you are happy with her confidence, if takes 2 or4 weeks that not much to set her up for life

When putting foot in stirrup make sure saddle is girthed up tight enough, put foot i and let the weight down so she feels it, while you hold the reins

The week I back them is intensive lunge, longrein and run through all the leaning foot in stirrup, the whole works daily til getting on

 

[Horseysheepy]

She sounds a sweet little mare and you will lots of fun on her, it's just the getting her through this sitting on stage!.

Do you think she may be sensing a little uncertainty from you and us picking up on that? Mares are very knowing.

 

[foxy1]

I always check the breathing and the eyes- if they are staring and not blinking then I don't get on, and if they are not breathing normally, eg holding their breath, then I don't get on.

 

[Babypony]

She sounds a sweet little mare and you will lots of fun on her, it's just the getting her through this sitting on stage!.

Do you think she may be sensing a little uncertainty from you and us picking up on that? Mares are very knowing.

Thank you, that’s really kind. Yes I think she may be sensing uncertainty. Which definitely comes from how she was at day one. And the fact she’s show bred. Which I didn’t even realise was an issue until I happened to google it.

 

[Babypony]

I always check the breathing and the eyes- if they are staring and not blinking then I don't get on, and if they are not breathing normally, eg holding their breath, then I don't get on.

I would guess she is staring and not breathing. Subconsciously I feel there will be an explosion. So perhaps those are the signs I’m picking up on.

 

[Babypony]

I usually lean over while on mounting block and when they are accepting that I sort of lie over and drape arms over opposite side and start to lean weight on, if it's not a problem I stay like that for while and let them think about it so they get used to it happening, if it goes wrong it's not so scary, but ive never had a problem

Perhaps she thinks , this is new then it ends too quickly to process, but you must be guided by your gut

I think it's natural for her to brace a little under weight or move a foot to rebalance just don't get on til sure, and they can tend to lift the head to see what's happening behind

Just be calm and repeat until you are happy with her confidence, if takes 2 or4 weeks that not much to set her up for life

When putting foot in stirrup make sure saddle is girthed up tight enough, put foot i and let the weight down so she feels it, while you hold the reins

The week I back them is intensive lunge, longrein and run through all the leaning foot in stirrup, the whole works daily til getting on

That’s a very good point. Because she’s not relaxing I’m sliding off before she can (possibly) explode. But in doing so I’m not allowing her to process it. I’m going to work on extending that time and see if that cracks it and gives her time to think. Not sure why I didn’t think of that, thank you! Also cheers for the run through. That tallies with what I expected so it’s good to know I’m doing things right.

 

[foxy1]

Yep sounds like it, so you need to move her feet to get her to relax, take a breath and blink. Take your time and trust your instinct

 

[Babypony]

Yep sounds like it, so you need to move her feet to get her to relax, take a breath and blink. Take your time and trust your instinct

Thank you so much

 

[Suechoccy]

If you take things too slowly, there's no harm done to her or you at all, apart from a tiny gremlin in your head saying "I could have done thsi morequickly."

If you take things too quickly, you would wreck her confidence and trust and be injured.

In your position I'd continue with taking it slowly. And when the day comes to sit on her, have good trustworthy hands on the ground with you too who will be posiitive and calm and reassuring to her.

 

[maya2008]

Thanks very much everyone for your kind responses. I’ve read all of them and they’ve really helped. I’ve decided to do a really thorough month of training and reevaluate after. If I feel she’s no further ahead (and this is just as much about her mental state as being ridden) I’ll look to send her away. I think I’m also going to write down exactly where she is now so I can compare after a month, as it’s easy to take for granted how far she’s come. I’m also going to put her on a valerian calmer. Which feels like admitting defeat somewhat, but it can’t be nice for her being anxious all the time. Thanks again everyone.

I have honestly never backed anything without someone on the ground. The ex feral ones I use a jockey and I, as the person who got their trust in the first place, reassure them from the floor (with carrots to make it an extra good experience!). Perhaps it is just the lack of reliable help that is slowing you down so much?

 

[poiuytrewq]

I think you have done it completely correctly. I’d say you’ve come a long way in 6 months and getting her confidence is the most important thing.
I’m going Kind and sensible for sure.

 

[Babypony]

I have honestly never backed anything without someone on the ground. The ex feral ones I use a jockey and I, as the person who got their trust in the first place, reassure them from the floor (with carrots to make it an extra good experience!). Perhaps it is just the lack of reliable help that is slowing you down so much?

Thats definitely a huge factor to be honest. I'm on my own land now whereas before I was at yard. Considering offering one of my non green ones for share just to have someone around for backing. I don't mind being the jockey, but having someone there in case of emergency seems sensible.