It can be so tricky finding a new yard!!

Q

Quartz

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11 April 2010
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I just can't believe how difficult it can be find a good yard, or know if you are moving for the right reasons, or if you will be happier at the next place. I really hoped that when I brought my horse I would become a part of the yard where I am. I have ridden there since it opened 2 years ago, and at the the beginning of this year got my own horse who I keep there. Like many others of you on here I am faced with dilemas and after reading some of your posts don't know if I am best to stay where I am or move.

My YO is quite young being 28, and to give her her dues she is brilliant with the kids there and I am 100% happy with my kids lessons. However, she seems to have taken a disliking to me, always shouting at me in lessons (I do admit I am slightly crap), and little silly things where I just end up feeling like I am back at school being excluded from the in gang. Anyway, found another yard further away (woudl have a 10 minute drive) only a bit more expensive but with loads more facilities like a cross area and indoor arena (neither or which are at mine). So should I leave and go there and risk burning my bridges or should I just stay and be miserable ut make the most of it. What if I move and end up just as miserable? Dilema, dilema. Wish I could move to this other yard to try it out without my YO knowing, but yes thats impossible!!!
 
I'm afraid it's bitchy yard politics everywhere. I have been at so many, and as I have got older and my career has progressed so I have found it harder and harder to put up with snidey put-down remarks and being made to feel like an idiot! It's got to the stage now where I won't put up with it from anyone - I have a very well paid responsible job where I manage and give advice to people from all walks of life, so I won't take c*** from any snotty YOs!!!
I think you have to either put up or get out. I tended to put up with it, but inevitably you get pushed to the point where you can't hold your tongue any longer, and then it's too late to save any burning bridges! If I were you I would think of an excuse - it's coming into winter so maybe the new yard has better facilities? And try to save friendships that way. That's what I did, because if I hadn't I would have given voice to all the things I was thinking!!!
Hence I am now at a private yard, just me and one other professional full-time-working lady. Neither of us take any c*** and so any problems are voiced and sorted, and we move on.
However there are no guarantees the new yard will be any better so get thinking of a viable 'excuse' for you moving, and then you could still possibly go back.
 
it sounds like you're not happy. Horses cost us alot of money and at the end of the day you should enjoy them not feel awful everytime you set foot on the yard. Go and visit the new yard a few times, both at quiet and busy periods. Speak to the other liveries and get a feel for the place. If it's a respectable and good yard they won't mind you doing this within reason. Then make your choice and move. Thank old yard owner for all they have done and say you want to further your riding using the facilities at the new yard. Excuse given (not that you should have to give one!) and you've not burnt your bridges
 
I will go and visit the other yard this week to have a chat and look round. I will still keep my kids at the current yard for their lessons. I think if I decide to make the move I will do it in Jan, then I can blame the bad weather. Also only just moved him back to the yard as he stays at mine during the summer. Unfortunately can't keep him in my field during winter as it floods. Was so happy during the summer with no worries about seeing the girls at the stables. I'm an adult with two young children I shouldn't be feeling like this because of a bunch of 20 somethings, it just makes me mad. I don't want to be their best mate I only want to have a quick chat occassionally, maybe a hack out and not feel like they are sniggering behind my back. Anyway good to get it off my chest!!
 
Why not be honest about the things you can be without offending like the indoor school which is important to you for keeping up with lessons come rain or shine and that if possible you would like to move back in the spring.

Also if you do like your yard and just would like to be included then analyse what it is that makes you or others make you feel excluded and try to forge better relationships, be positive and happy, dont be a victim and allow others to rule your decisions. Take control. We are all the same and have the same potential weaknesses but strengths too so let yours out and shine:D
 
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