It can't be this hard can.it...

JulesRules

JulesRules

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To find a reasonable sharer??

Following on from my "sharer woes" and "Get off my horse" I still haven't found a suitable sharer :-(

Had 3 responses to my ad this week. Surely 1 of them must be suitable right?

Rider 1 - see my prior thread. She'd looked ideal on paper. I could forgive the nagging legs but not her sawing on my girls soft mouth. When I politely suggested trying softening her hands when she couldn't get her to canter she snapped at me "that's how yu get her on the contact " Err , no it isn't!

Rider 2 - rode her lovely and quietly. Arranged to come back Friday to ride again. Feeling positive. Got home and had a text saying her financial situation had changed and she now couldn't afford to make a contribution and would I consider allowing her to ride for free. I haven't written her off totally but have made it clear that while she isn't paying she won't get a weekend day and I'll keep advertising.

Rider 3 - responded to ad this morning. Read through her long reply. She sounded okay, not fantastic but worth a look, until the last paragraph " I can do Saturday and Sunday as that's when I'm in the area staying with my partner" Erm, so you expect to have my horse every weekend, all weekend for around 1/5 of the cost of keeping her. I actually need help in the week but I'm prepared to give up a weekend day in return for the help in the week but I'm definitely not going to slog and rush all week so that someone else can enjoy her all weekend. What planet do people live on?

Sorry for the rant. Just needed to get it out of my system!!
 
People who are paying for something have the right to have what suits them .
So why not see if rider two will do two weekdays plus jobs for nothing .
 
Yep I'd have a discussion with rider 2. You need help in the week, she could provide that in exchange for doing jobs unless you need the financial help too?
 
It really can be that hard I'm afraid.

I've been looking for an age for anyone who would just like to come and ride, no payment, 5 horses to choose from, no jobs.......................NOTHING!
 
If it's the help you need no. 2 sounds ideal?
I had an excellent and extremely reliable sharer on my last horse. She wasn't in a position to contribute financially, but that wasn't my reason for having a sharer and she was invaluable. I know there's a received wisdom on here that people who are paying are more likely to value the share and be reliable, but that certainly wasn't my experience with this particular sharer. She rode when she said she would, rode a bit more on the odd occasion I went away, and at one point for a period of several months her help with care while the horse was lame and off work was an absolute life saver. Couldn't have asked for more, and I now count her among my closest friends.
 
I would take number 2 for week days. I have this deal with a girl for my pony. She rides twice at the weekend for free. I know she and her mum look after him and help out as needed. I prefer have someone that works rather than someone who pays and isn't a good fit for my situation and pony.
 
I just find people are so flaky nowadays. I had similar problems when I wanted a sharer. Now that I am wanting to PAY someone to come and help a few hours a week and also be safe pair of hands on the ground whilst I continue with my mare's breaking in plus do some schooling once I get her going, I am finding it just as hard. I was lucky enough to find the most amazing freelance, but sadly (for me, not for her) she was offered a full time position elsewhere and I only wanted someone 8 hours a week. Since then I have had one girl turn up hardly said a word and so difficult to read and talk to, but left saying she definitely wanted the job. Then heard nothing so I texted her asking if she was still interested and she then said she didn't have time until her daughter started school! Second one contacted me. Really keen. Asked plenty of questions. She was a bit far away from me and so I pointed this out but she said it wasn't a problem. Arranged for her to start last week and purposely left jobs I would normally have done early (she was only available afternoons), then got a text one hour before she was due to start saying it was too far! I give up now. I might look for a livery who could do some of the work in part exchange for full livery here, but I've honestly lost the will with people. I need a break!

OP, I would do what others have suggested and stick with number two. So hard to find a good rider willing to pay to share a horse.
 
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I'd grab rider 2 with both hands as you have already said you need the help and are paying YO, the horse needs work and improving.

As I've said before money isn't everything when other things are more important.
 
Hmm, my issue with number 2 is that I suspect she is trying it on for a free ride. This is based on a bit of digging around where she knocked down the price on a previous share as she "didn't have any money", and then apparently spent money on a pedigree puppy and a holiday.

I'm happy to let her ride and do jobs for now, but if someone SUITABLE who will contribute comes along she'll be out on her ear to be honest
 
JulesRules said:
Hmm, my issue with number 2 is that I suspect she is trying it on for a free ride. This is based on a bit of digging around where she knocked down the price on a previous share as she "didn't have any money", and then apparently spent money on a pedigree puppy and a holiday.

I'm happy to let her ride and do jobs for now, but if someone SUITABLE who will contribute comes along she'll be out on her ear to be honest
Click to expand...

Does she have a partner? If so, spending money on a puppy and a holiday are things they can share. Sometimes people have partners who do not like a regular amount going out each week for a hobby (rightly or wrongly).
 
ester said:
I'd grab rider 2 with both hands as you have already said you need the help and are paying YO, the horse needs work and improving.

As I've said before money isn't everything when other things are more important.
Click to expand...

Rider 2 was competent and would keep her ticking over but wouldn't improve her. I'm happily working with my trainer on that though so I'm not looking for someone to improve her particularly.

Mind you pony face was on her best behaviour yesterday so haven't seen how she would react when she starts throwing toys out of her pram lol
 
JulesRules said:
Hmm, my issue with number 2 is that I suspect she is trying it on for a free ride. This is based on a bit of digging around where she knocked down the price on a previous share as she "didn't have any money", and then apparently spent money on a pedigree puppy and a holiday.

I'm happy to let her ride and do jobs for now, but if someone SUITABLE who will contribute comes along she'll be out on her ear to be honest
Click to expand...

I also thought this when reading your post but thought that if the result is that your horse is exercised and you no longer have to pay YO for chores, then it is worth the annoyance of someone being a bit cheeky. You are in the position where you can take away a privilege as a result (weekend riding) so I would take her on and see how it goes. You may well find someone better who will pay too, but as we all know, it's easier said than done!
 
It might be a bit cheeky changeing her goal posts but nothin wrong with moving her on if someone better comes along but they don't seem to be in plentiful supply currently. By improve I only meant your mare isn't a well schoooled older horse so I guess more that she doesn't sound like she will mess all your hard work up like the others would, and save you money.
 
I feel your pain. I'm struggling to find a sharer too. When I was horseless it was a hard slog finding a horse to ride and any I found I always had to pay at least £50 a week for the privilege (and was expected to bring in, clean, tack up etc which I didn't mind because I enjoyed it). Now I have my own horses finding people who would like to ride for FREE and for doing very little in return is like pulling teeth.
 
As an older sharer who is out of work at moment I don't have the money. But I do weekdays when her owner is at work. I'm happy to do any day times when her owner is busy. No I don't pay but I'm reliable and the horse is excercised, jobs are done and her owner gets some work hobby balance. So speak to number 2 it might work.
 
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Number 2 could actually be perfect if she's happy not to do a weekend. I'd much rather have someone not pay and help during the week than pay and have a weekend day as you'd have her all to yourself for the weekend, and you don't really want to give up a weekend day do you!

I've had a few sharers over the years (all lovely and shares all ended due to unavoidable circumstances rather than problems) and the one thing I've learned is you have to be flexible. The first just paid for shoes as she also had a bogof in foal mare to care for and that's what she could afford. I was more bothered by time at that point as was doing a post grad course, planning a wedding and working full time. It was only ever meant to be temporary and that suited us both.

The next two made a monthly contribution as by this point my boy had gone lame, had time off and started hacking
again so I was sharing a friend's to compete and needed to offset the cost and the time. They stayed for 6 and 2 years respectively.

The next one, on paper was no use at all but was also the best in some ways. She had no car so couldn't help with care but was a brilliant rider. Initially the deal was she'd pay instead and ride with me when I rode my share horse. In the end she paid me with lessons as she's also an instructor back home in NZ. My riding came on loads and both horses improved loads. I made a friend for life and am off to visit her in NZ this summer.

My current one was a friend of my mum's from yoga. She's a bit older and a bit more novicey than I'd like but she's always been 100% honest about that and very willing to learn. She only wants to hack, and my boy is fine with that - he tests riders out in the school but never out hacking so it's working well. She doesn't pay anything as these days with a couple of promotions I'm doing fine financially and I'd rather keep that extra bit of control now. We've always said though that if I get another horse (both mine and my share horse are 21 and have minor age related issues) I might have to ask her for a contribution and she's happy with that.

I've found them all through word of mouth. I've only advertised once and did get a girl whose safety I feared for on my boy. Word of mouth is definitely the way to go.
 
As a sharer I don't want a weekend day, the advantage of not having my own is being able to disappear off to see friends at the weekend otherwise I wouldn't see them.
 
I took on a sharer who doesn't pay. She does jobs for me through the week & understands that if I want the horse she rides to team chase then I take priority.
It's worked absolutely brilliantly. If I was paying a free lance groom (I have my horses at home) I'd have to pay around £60 a week for what she does plus I have a horse kept fit & ready to team chase.
She gets a nice horse to ride for free, free lessons (when I have time) & I take her to competitions for diesel money & some cheesy chips 👍
 
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