it feels so real *soppy sad post*

[E13]

Like everyone I worry about things happening to my 'pack' (no horses yet) - aging, illness and accidents. I now work in a vets and for the first time I have seen dead bodies (I have had animals pass on before) and the stark reality of the aftermath. The worst thing I have seen was not a PTS but an RTA - traumatic, pretty much a nightmare come to life. A bit of a silly me post really - now I have seen these things it makes worrying and imagining worst-case scenarios much more visible. And visualising us in that position - the trauma and the aftermath - is terrible; believe me, with a strange animal it's difficult enough. I was just thinking about this after reading a couple of threads about PTS tonight. Does anyone else have that minor panic that something is going to happen soon, or just dread that time coming? (Not in a takes-over-my-life kind of way, just obviously at work I have plenty of opportunity to be reminded of it!) I honestly don't know how I will survive it when - if!!!! - the time comes.

 

[tankgirl1]

Like everyone I worry about things happening to my 'pack' (no horses yet) - aging, illness and accidents. I now work in a vets and for the first time I have seen dead bodies (I have had animals pass on before) and the stark reality of the aftermath. The worst thing I have seen was not a PTS but an RTA - traumatic, pretty much a nightmare come to life. A bit of a silly me post really - now I have seen these things it makes worrying and imagining worst-case scenarios much more visible. And visualising us in that position - the trauma and the aftermath - is terrible; believe me, with a strange animal it's difficult enough. I was just thinking about this after reading a couple of threads about PTS tonight. Does anyone else have that minor panic that something is going to happen soon, or just dread that time coming? (Not in a takes-over-my-life kind of way, just obviously at work I have plenty of opportunity to be reminded of it!) I honestly don't know how I will survive it when - if!!!! - the time comes.

Oh Honey! I have worked in vet practice for years before I decided to jack it all in and go self employed.

Yes you see a lot of RTA's, but what really got me were the OAPs who brought their bestest mate in to be PTS.... beyond heartbreaking....

It's supposed to get easier to deal with... I found it the opposite... I was very clinical when helping with PTS's at first, not so much after a few months/years......

It's a difficult job x

 

[E13]

I wonder if you are right - the PTS's we have had in so far (I've been there 2 months), I have been clinical, just in work mode - to be honest, they still haven't sunk in, I'm in denial as I just can't get my head around it. And with them I kind of feel that we are doing the right thing, ending suffering. I feel like a heartless bitch sometimes though for not feeling upset, because I am switched off and can't accept it! But I know I'm upset, it's especially hard when you have to do the things afterwards!

 

[tankgirl1]

One thing I always do (did) is see any body entrusted into my care, into the necessary storage with the most dignity I possibly could manage - I treated them all as I would wish mine were treated x

 

[DonskiWA]

Yes I can relate. Everything in my life is great at the moment. The better things are the more I worry and imagine things going wrong! It's not severe, but every now and again I imagine all the disasters that could befall my partner and furry family.

I have done some training in 'mindfulness' though (a practice of thought/self mind control). I just try and be aware of my thoughts before the run away with themselves and bring myself back to full focus focus and awareness of the current task at hand.

You're not alone in your worries.

 

[Ptolemy]

It helps to see the bodies as just that, bodies.

As harsh as it sounds, they are just a bag of bones and meat. Ofc you should still treat them with respect, but once the light has gone, that's all there is.

Are you literally just seeing the aftermath or are you seeing them whilst they are still alive and suffering?.

I worked in the vets, and it was hard at times, but in some cases you just know that it's the best thing. One dog in particular sticks out in my mind, he was abused, came in with a ruptured spleen, the vet reckoned he'd been kicked. When they operated on him I have no idea how he was still alive, the amount of blood that just came pouring out of the poor guy... He fought for a good 12 hrs after that, I stayed with him as much as I could. When he died there was almost a sense of peace though, that he didn't have to go through any more of what he'd already been through. No more pain. No more hurt. No more abuse.

I found the harder part dealing with the people. Whether it be, like tankgirl said, the little old lady who's just lost her last link to her dead husband and her only real company in the world, or the morons who abuse their animals, or the idiots who have a dangerous mixture of ignorance and arrogance.

In the end I found it made me appreciate what I had more. Take solace in the fact that you are doing the best for your animals and no matter what happens they will have had a good life and will have been loved.

We can't control 'life', we just have to make the best of the hand we are dealt.

I'm not sure what job you have there, but if you are literally just seeing the remains, I would see if you can ask to stand in on an operation or two, see them whilst they are still fighting. You'd be amazed at how resilient some of them can be, that may also help. I've seen pets that I thought didn't have a hope in hell pull through against all odds. You never know.

 

[scewal]

I lost my best friend of 12 years last week. It all happened very quickly and had expected to be together for so much longer to come.
He was so much more than just a dog, and was at my side at some difficult times in my life.
It's going to take a very long time for me to get over loosing my soul mate.

 

[SillyMare]

I lost my 2 boys in the last 18 months (unrelated - they were just oldies sadly).

The first one had 2 or 3 weeks of illness which we worked with the vet to try to treat - sadly it became very clear to me what needed to happen and once the decision was made, it had to be as soon as possible.

The second collapsed on a walk - presumed heart attack or stroke - anyway, he was breathing when I picked him up but had gone by the time we got him to the local vet (10 mins away). In many ways that one was so much easier - his number was obviously up and he went really fast.

The professionalism of the vet and the practice staff on both occasions was a massive help.

From my perspective as an owner, all I want is a professional service that makes the whole process as straightforward as possible. I would also like to think that the bodies of my two boys (both of which were left with the vet - I'm not terribly sentimental with what is left after they have 'gone') were treated with some level of respect as they were disposed of. I would never ask that question though as I know it is not a given!

Please keep your chin up - people who work in vet practices do a great job at a horrible time and can make things so much easier.

 

[bgb]

My gorgeous lab died very suddenly in the middle of March. She was perfectly healthy, happy and her usual self when I left her to go to school one morning. When I got back from school, she was in the vets. By 11pm she was dead.

It was a traumatic experience but I will never forget how amazing the vets were. We went in to see her while she would still be warm. I can still feel her coat and smell her. The next morning, we got a call from the vet saying how very sorry he was, he had known Jura for 10 years. They sent us a lovely card and when she was cremated, they put her in a lovely wooden urn with a brass plaque engraved with her name.

It is the small touches that really go a long, long way so treat every animal as if they were your own and in time I am sure it will get easier.

 

[Ginger Bear]

I used to be absolutely paranoid about my horse, every time he did something silly, I would panic that this was it! I became paranoid after he had a ringbone operation & he turned into a nutter. Vet had said that if he didn't calm down he could cause further damage that would result in pts.. Even a year or two after he fell over in the trailer I literally lost the plot, my first thought being the vision if the vet having to pts in the back of the trailer & ending with me with my head through the open car window of a driver who refused to slow down while we tried to get the horses out! My worry has lessened now but I still hate travelling although I do it!

 

[E13]

tankgirl - yes I do that too, I can't just get on with it I have to give them respect.

Ptolemy - I see either or both. I am a veterinary receptionist but it's a small practice so I do a bit of everything and will be trained up in assisting ops etc. I do watch the ops but to be honest all but one PTS so far have not involved ops. Sometimes it's a consultation, or an RTA, or a sick animal inpatient that has died or been PTS. And I understand the sense of peace, horrifyingly I find myself almost wanting a PTS to happen, with say an old emaciated cat or an inpatient, just to relieve suffering.

And what keeps running through my mind is that I must be awful to not care - I do care, I know I do, but it just hasn't sunk in so it's like a dream that isn't real - so I'm not really getting upset, apart from at certain moments when it hits me a little bit. And when a situation is quite vocal, that's strange to hear.