It pains me to ask this; Other DIY's expecting you to "help out"

I can see how it's easier (not making arrangements between liveries) though I've been lucky it works for me/us most of the time. We used to have people that you could pay to do chores but they've moved on and no one has taken their place so we have no choice. I think it's the expectation of the livery at Shysmum's that would get my goat, it should not be a problem if someone only wants to do their own horse, it is time consuming to turn out or bring in extra horses and no one should ever feel they have to. I do it because it suits me

Also, it can be politically fraught. Example, horse I turn out in the week is headshy and difficult to headcollar, so usually undo it and gently re-do it rather than slip it on, horse is fine with that. Apparently, the owner feels that this action of mine has made the horse worse to bridle, apparently you need to fight with the horse each morning to slip its headcollar over its ears so it "gets used to it" Horse is in its early 20s. My instinct is to say "you know what, that's all to complex for me love, do your own"
 
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Wow, have you been doing her horse since you arrived?! I don't mind helping out occasionally, but I don't like it becoming a routine; there are some days when I just can't get there like Parents' Evenings that start straight after school.

Crikey, SM, did she think you should carry on forever? Was she doing anything for you?
 
I am really so grateful for all these replies. The YO has been so nice about it, what a star - every yard should have a YO like her !!

I've been on four yards with my lad, and have been DIY Shafted on three of them. The worst was when the yard paddocks were split by an A road, and the other livery decided to bring her two horses across first, and then WITHOUT my permission, bring Shy over. At four years old, of course he went bonkers, got away from her, and Thank God, started tucking into the grass on the verge. She simply said "oh my shoulder is weak on that side". We left within days, I was so gobsmacked. So yes, I am precious about who handles my pony, which is why others sorting him out won't work for me.

Oh dear. Thanks again. x
 
horserider said:
I was at a yard where liveries were not allowed to help with each others horses. All services had to be done by the YO.

TBH, it was a relief. There was no resentment, no one being taken advantage of and everyone either had to get off their backsides or pay extra for services.

I think this particular YO was fed up with some liveries making a sizeable cash in hand income for mucking out/clipping etc when she was providing cheap DIY livery. Plus, the arguments caused by lazy owners always leaving others to bring their horses in.
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if I had a yard, this would be my rule. Potential clients would be told and if they didn't like it....well, they wouldn't have to come, would they?
 
I totally agree DS - if I ever had to move yards, I think I would seek one out that had a rule like this, OR I would make it clear when I arrived that it was my own private rule.

I have planned out what i will do in emergency situations, so i can get to Shy, or he will be looked after (PAID) whatever.
 
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I'm currently at a DIY yard (previously had horses on part livery) and it has never occurred to me to ask other liveries to help out and do chores. Some have very kindly offered but personally with a youngster I would rather pay someone to bring in or muck out. I'd feel more comfortable and not have the guilt of remembering who I owe favours.
 
Oh dear :( I had a similar problem earlier this year. I didn't realise people were EXPECTING me to do their horses. argh! Glad you're moving away from the loon.


Hope your little terrier is okay too.
 
When I was at a DIY livery many years ago, I didn't mind bringing horses in if the owners were stuck somewhere or having to work late have never asked for anyone nor will do for someone to do mine, have helped a so called couple of friends when they had to leave their yards and never again, as they did take my good nature to the limit like not turning up at all Xmas day, so I had to feed and water said pony and the other would turn up hours late and her pony going bonkers as he'd not been fed or watered and mine had, so started doing them as my own and then after several weeks of them taking the piss gave them notice and these 2 were at different times, I've learnt my lesson.
 
I would be really upset if the yard rule was only staff could catch in/turn out etc. why shouldn't mates do each other favours? I dread to think what my bill would have been for that after the accident. I'm very fortunate in that a friend or two did my boy brilliantly while I was immobile. One mate still turns it for me, she works at a business on the yard. I pay her back with bedding, presents for her, the horse, favours if she wants the weekend off etc. I think it's a fair exchange. It's obviously not fair that SM has been screamed at because of an expectation which she shouldn't have to abide by.
 
My reason for saying about not helping out any more is simply because I have been shafted many times... as i find it hard to say "NO" as i always want to be liked and keep the peace. OK, here goes.....

I've brought in two horses through snow drifts and done their stables for a week (no thankyou).. I have struggled to help bring in a "three legged" mare late on Christmas Eve, due to owner negligence of a severe abscess, and get the vet out. I then had to do the injections as the owner couldn't. The hubbie had just been looking over the fence from the car and hadn't realised the horse hadn't moved for two days...... I have been asked to take THREE ponies out at once, and when I said I couldn't manage three, had my barrow left full of muck on the yard, the only one with a working wheel. I have broken water for gypsy cobs stuffed in a field during a very hard winter, and have even had a vet down to one when she hit a body score of 1.

I've been told when I bring a horse in that I mustn't "tell them off" if they are naughty, but reassure them (17hh, yeh right), and that I have taken a muzzle off wrongly on another horse and how to do it. URGH.

I have been expected to ride with a very nervous rider every sunday (she was a VERY scared rider), and when one sunday I was ill, i got the silent treatment afterwards for a very long time for having to let her down. YO saw it and did nothing. It was a total relief tbh, as she was too nervous to ride with. I have had hay, straw and feed stolen. My stuff has been used and broken.. and get this - when my barrow was broken by someone else, the YO took it upon herself to mend it, and then charged me £2 for the bolts !!!!!!! :eek: i thought she was joking, but nope. God knows what else.

So yes, I guess sticking on my own is the way forward:D until I can buy myself my own stable and field, and breathe a HUGE sigh of relief. x
 
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DIY is DIY IMO Ive always done my horses myself normally on a yard myself or with on other. Mutual arrangements were agreed but only really for holidays and or turning out.

My parents did my horses if I went on holiday but it was just to check they were ok and give a feed in summer as they were out.

However on the course of the YO doing all duties and charging I wouldnt be on a yard like that. If I wanted someone else to come in and do my horses then i would prefer the choice not told that the YO would do all chores I couldnt if on holiday and thats as Ive came across some YO's who i wouldnt want to muck out my stables after seeing the state of theirs and Im rather particular.
 
DIY is just that Do it yourself. Our yard is DIY, but there are 2 of us that work well together. Mod-fri we do DIY but then one weekend day I put out and the other weekend day she puts out. It does mean that we can both have a lay in, also she has 2, so if I was turning don out without hers he would be out alone.
 
Oh Crickey, Shysmum, I could have written a very similar story, as I suspect, many of us DIYer's could too.

Perhaps that's why, we gradually learn that the only way to survive on a yard, is to keep a low profile and keep moving at speed to avoid those conversations that end with you walking away and wondering how you just managed to get roped into becoming a full time groom for someone else's horse.
These users also seem adept at never having a phone switched on when a crisis strikes.
 
I always thought DIY meant you rent a stable and/or field an do everything for your horse yourself but many folk seem to think otherwise, I'm always up yards at least twice a day and seemed to have got roped in to many jobs I shouldn't be doing in the past (generally as I think I'm helping out the odd time but find its apparently permanent) think there's too many folk willing to take the P an take the lazy way out
 
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