Its not bitching....its just general horsey talk apparantly

alsxx

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Or so I was told this morning.....

For the last few days I have been subject to a bit of 'gossiping'/'bitching' behind my back at my yard by 3/4 middle aged woman who should probably know better.

My new horse developed cellulitis and was slightly lame from a cut (the day after I got him, just my luck) - someone else very kindly told me some of what had been said - and they had apparantly been saying how they weren't surprised that he's lame as he's an ex racer and you cant do anything with an ex racer blah blah blah and how I only have lame horses (my mare has been lame now for almost a year and is turned out at grass - she's field sound, my other one however is very much not lame!) - they didn't actually know why he was lame, and only found out that he was about 4 days later when I told one of them in passing. I wont even go into the fact that most of theirs are broken....

I had already gathered it was happening just by the reaction I had been getting from them, and had decided to just ignore it, exchange pleasantries (is that a word?) and keep out of the way.

So anyway, he's all better now (yay!), so this morning one of them asked how he was, I said he's fine, all better thanks, so I guess everyone will have to find something else to talk about now!! And get this, she said that they were only talking horsey talk about him, and that there was nothing meant horribly. So I asked her why if that was the case they felt the need to do it behind my back and not to me, and she said well its not bitching its just general horsey talk!

WTF!?
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Meh, ignore the BOH's (Bitter Old Hags) and just smile sweetly. Sadly there is no escaping the bitchiness on yards, though calling it general horsey talk isnt an excuse nor does it make it right.

They are probably just jealous you got such a lovely new pony....
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... and as for ex-racers being useless... now I KNOW you guys will be proving them wrong on that one, that little boy is far from useless.
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I love ex-racers, I don't have one but my friend has and she's brilliant really tries hard to please. Silly people!! If it was general chatter then I would have thought you would have been included in on the conversation! Also, don't you love people who tell you other people are talking about you behind your back just because they're trying to be helpful and it leaves you really upset!! Ignore them all and get on enjoying your new boy!
 
It just made me laugh that she had the nerve to say that, I was like right, o k then dont think I need to continue this conversation!!

But yep must do the proving them wrong bit....going for our first hack tonight, cant wait! Lunged him last night and he was a star, and very 'look at me arn't I pretty'!
 
why are yards/people like this. It really gets up my nose. I have a few at my yard. one young woman is a complete nutter, needs to be booked in the Priory clinic (im sure she can afford it as she is on benefits). Another man called my beautiful sports horse a giraffe. This is a person that doesnt know the back end of a horse from the front. At least my giaffe can jump like a stag, do flying changes, half pass .................................. bet he dont even know what that is . Keep your chin up and ignore the miserable shi*s. You and your horse are better than they will ever be.
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Poor old you. I know its hard, but ignore them, the horsey world seems to be full of people like this, trying to put their own point of view across.

We had something very similar on our yard recently. I was sharing my horse with the sister of one of our liveries. I have to say I was unhappy with the fact that i paid full livery on him, and she expected to ride him 5 times a week (she didnt pay me anything). We are on quite a small yard and I expressed my concerns to a friend, which was over-heard by the yard gossip. It all got distorted and I was accused of slagging the sharer off (which I hadnt been) and said sister spent two days screaming at me down the phone and sending texts. One other livery (yard gossip) got involved and it got to the point that I had to tell our YO in floods of tears that I was leaving. She refused to let me do it and promptly gave yard gossip her notice. The sister apologised profusely but decided to leave anyway.

Our lovely yard was totally rocked by all this rubbish - why do people on yards have to be so vile! All is ok now and said people have gone and all is peaceful again.

I dont know much about ex-racers, being a warmblood and irish cob owner, but I would say take no notice of it. If it gets bad then try and involve your YO, if they are supportive (whicb ours is). Most importantly, dont go down to their level and always remember that we have horses to enjoy them and relax.
 
Well done for confronting them about it. I've done similar when people were talking about the fact that my lad doesn't go out much (the fact that he's horrendously prone to laminitis has something to do with that). I said to the main culprit 'I hear there's been some disquiet about ...'s turnout arrangements. Just so everyone is straight, I'm not prepared to compromise my horse's wellbeing for my own convenience.'
Cue red faces all round...
 
Bitching occurs through every walk of life.

Doesn't make it pleasant or right, or anything really, its just annoying and its there.
I think you did the right thing smile sweetly whilst thinking about what you would like to say to them in reality (mwahahaha!) but getting on with life and enjoying your new pony!

Glad he is better! Hopefully have some lovely pics posted soon of him showing them how "useless" he is!
 
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Also, don't you love people who tell you other people are talking about you behind your back just because they're trying to be helpful and it leaves you really upset!!

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That's just what I was thinking. Hopefully you have cleared the air now and can get on and enjoy your horse (and show them a thing or two!) Ex-racers are great.
 
Don't you just lo ve them; I wish my horses were as perfect as theirs obviously are that they have so much time to critiscise others and not work on their own!
So much satisfaction to be had when you can stick to fingers up at them with a success. i get it all the time, "I don't know what I am doing, i'm clueless etc " and some kind sole chooses to tell me that it is all being said about me
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Won a comp at the weekend that was tough and they know it and came back to them asking how I had done (hoping I had done terribly) and they almost choked when they had to congratulate me!!
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Gives us an even bigger incentive to be even better though doesn't it! sad wenches. Good luck with you new horse, sounds great
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L - I have texted OH and told him not to let me leave the house tonight without the camera!!!! I keep forgetting....

But let me know when you want to come over and see him!

And re the girl that told me, I actually feel quite sorry for her as they rip her to pieces behind her back (although I wont be telling her that!).
 
I really wouldn't give it a second thought, besides who wants to listen to someone talk b*llocks to your face when they can do it behind your back.

Tell her to take her face to the yard toilet and give it a good squeeze!
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Kenzo - such a nice image there!

Alsxx - dont worry I have a puppy constantly doing entertaining things when I don't have a camera, the moment it comes out he sits and looks at me like "huh?!!"
 
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