Starman
Well-Known Member
...got that, kids? So why come up to me and tell me all about how 'quirky' your horse is. How he bucks and broncs ALL the time, how you're always getting took off with out on hacks, and can't control it out hunting so you're always taking over the master. And not be asking for advice. You're telling me this because you think it is impressive?!
I've got much more respect for a rider on a calm, happy, relaxed horse than for someone desperately attempting to cling on to their spinning and frothing beast. Yes, you look terrified whilst your riding it, we all see it, so don't then attempt to laugh it off afterwards and BOAST about how you sooo nearly fell off. And then blame it all on the horse of course (which will usually be being referred to as 'it'). Bugger off and buy a horse that likes you and that you can manage. And don't go hunting on it and attempt to stop it by ramming it up my horses arse and therefore causing my horse to overreach. Or go show jumping with it and lose control of it in the lorry park so i, being the respectable gentleman, have to go and get it for you and end up getting kicked in the thigh.
Teach it some bloody manners before you inflict it on the rest of us who have trained our horses properly.
Oh and whilst i'm on a roll - this is to another person: Don't buy a 5 year old warmblood that hunts every week, competes every week and is otherwise ridden every day; and then attempt to hack him out once a week calmly. Ain't gonna happen. DON'T buy one of the best natured horses i've ever broken in, and then tell all your comrades in their matching Joules polo shirts how naughty he is. Don't get on said horse and jab him with your spurs whilst hauling him in the mouth, just to get him to move around and look 'fresh'. Don't deliberately make the horse dance around at the traffic lights just because someone you know is driving past, and you want to look like you're a good rider riding a mental horse. Don't tell everyone how bad the horse is to hunt, when he wouldn't ever run off with you even if you shoved a hedgehog up his arse. Oh, and when you haven't even hunted him yourself! And don't then tell them that you bought him from me, and that you think he mustn't have been 'fit and healthy' when you bought him, which is why it's being so flighty and naughty to ride now, since you've built him up to 'perfect health and fitness'. (Please refer back to "hunting every week, competing every week, ridden every day" - that's what the horse was doing with me.) Oh and then don't ring me on a Saturday night questioning where i got the horse from, saying you think he must have previous issues and have been handled badly in the past. No love, i bought him from the breeders as a 3 year old - he's being badly handled in the present, that's what the sodding problem is. And by the way, someone from your yard has been keeping me up to date with all the above observations so don't try and act like Mother fecking Theresa and simper down the phone to me. Oh and just because you've competed up to pre-novice doesn't put you on a par with Mark Todd.
Can you tell i've just got in from the pub? Best wishes to you all.
I've got much more respect for a rider on a calm, happy, relaxed horse than for someone desperately attempting to cling on to their spinning and frothing beast. Yes, you look terrified whilst your riding it, we all see it, so don't then attempt to laugh it off afterwards and BOAST about how you sooo nearly fell off. And then blame it all on the horse of course (which will usually be being referred to as 'it'). Bugger off and buy a horse that likes you and that you can manage. And don't go hunting on it and attempt to stop it by ramming it up my horses arse and therefore causing my horse to overreach. Or go show jumping with it and lose control of it in the lorry park so i, being the respectable gentleman, have to go and get it for you and end up getting kicked in the thigh.
Oh and whilst i'm on a roll - this is to another person: Don't buy a 5 year old warmblood that hunts every week, competes every week and is otherwise ridden every day; and then attempt to hack him out once a week calmly. Ain't gonna happen. DON'T buy one of the best natured horses i've ever broken in, and then tell all your comrades in their matching Joules polo shirts how naughty he is. Don't get on said horse and jab him with your spurs whilst hauling him in the mouth, just to get him to move around and look 'fresh'. Don't deliberately make the horse dance around at the traffic lights just because someone you know is driving past, and you want to look like you're a good rider riding a mental horse. Don't tell everyone how bad the horse is to hunt, when he wouldn't ever run off with you even if you shoved a hedgehog up his arse. Oh, and when you haven't even hunted him yourself! And don't then tell them that you bought him from me, and that you think he mustn't have been 'fit and healthy' when you bought him, which is why it's being so flighty and naughty to ride now, since you've built him up to 'perfect health and fitness'. (Please refer back to "hunting every week, competing every week, ridden every day" - that's what the horse was doing with me.) Oh and then don't ring me on a Saturday night questioning where i got the horse from, saying you think he must have previous issues and have been handled badly in the past. No love, i bought him from the breeders as a 3 year old - he's being badly handled in the present, that's what the sodding problem is. And by the way, someone from your yard has been keeping me up to date with all the above observations so don't try and act like Mother fecking Theresa and simper down the phone to me. Oh and just because you've competed up to pre-novice doesn't put you on a par with Mark Todd.
Can you tell i've just got in from the pub? Best wishes to you all.
