It's official I'm a Mug :(

tabithakat64

tabithakat64

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I work full-time have two horses and a home to run and am always exhausted as I have ME.
One of the two people whose don't visit their horses every day (horses are living out 24/7) has just arranged with me to do her horse four days a week for nothing!
She wanted to put hay in the field over night (my two are out at night and in during the day) and myself and the other owner whose horse is out at night said no, as her horse is a bully and it would be a waste of hay and cause fights.
She was like my horse is in her 20's a TB and is losing condition as there's not a lot of grass left but I can't get down to feed her or bring her in! (She is at uni but only has 20 hours of contact time so could fit the horse around this surely).
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Feel sorry for the horse and felt really pressured so gave in to taking care of her horse, even though my opinion is she shouldn't have a horse if she can't take care of it or pay someone else to do so.
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I'm such a mug as I really am struggling to find the time and energy to fit everything I have to do in without taking on another horse
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Ring her say you've reconsidered and you just don't have the time to do it.
It amazing how happy some people are to take advantage of others.
 
Definately let her know that after thinking about it, you either need paying... a fair amount, or your not doing it at all!!
 
Yep agree with Polar Bear, like you I have mug written all over my face. I ended up taking on two ponies I neither had the time or space, but made do because I can't say no!
But I'm fit and healthy, you have ME which I know is absolutely draining. Sometimes you just have to be blunt and to the point, can be hard tho
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I have ME too and I know exactly how exhausting it is. You do your own horses because that is what gives you the motivation to keep battling on & force yourself out of bed in the mornings when your whole body feels like a lead weight. You do not need the responsibility of someboy else's horse because they are too damn lazy to get out of bed. I would either charge her or tell her to do it herself & then just keep an eye on the hrose to make sure it is ok.
 
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(She is at uni but only has 20 hours of contact time so could fit the horse around this surely).
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I agree - I am at uni with a similar workload and a part time job on top and I always find time for my horse twice a day. I would never expect anyone to care for my horse like that, or at least not without pay.

I would kindly suggest that she either pays for full or part livery for the horse, pays you for your time, does the work herself or sells the poor thing before it starts to suffer.
 
Don't do it to yourself or you will make yourself very ill. Ring and politey say that you have reflected and just cannot do it, apologise and let that be the end of it. I would not even be doing it for money either because the pressure you will feel under physically will not be worth any amount. Don't do it to yourself.
 
Dont be bullied into doing it, it's her responcability, get a book called "when I say no I feel gulity" make you realise how people manipulate us so easily.
Assertive doesn't mean being aggresive.
 
I agree with all the other posts. Ring her back and let her know you can't do it. You could make yourself ill with it and its not your responsibility. She will have to make other arrangements.
 
Defo agree with everybody else esp as it's not done on, you feed her horse and then she does job for you (to help you out).......etc

Sorry as much as you feel for her horse it's up to her to either do herself or paid up for mobile groom - harsh but true

Wish all best not a nice phone call to make BUT would she do your horses all time if you made yourself ill doing hers???
 
Have to agree with everyone else, tell her you can't do it. She has the time. She does not have ME (well she may, but I doubt it). I don't think being paid is the answer, as it will still take it's toll on you (I'm another ME sufferer)
 
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