It's such a shame :(

[Equestriangirl123]

Have someone at my yard who owns a TB ( ex racer to precise)
She bought him a few years ago with her husband knowing his history and paying well over what he is worth for him , he's their first ever horse they have owned !

Anyway to cut a long sorry short , she's becoming more and more nervous of him as days go on , he's too much for her . He's had her off many times before ( sometimes seriously injured ) to the point now where she's told me she's so frightened of him that they only go out for a hack on the lead rein or go into the school on the lead rein .

However , her husband insists they stick with this horse as it appears to be his pride and joy where as you can tell deep down she wants a nice placid little cob . The words from her husband were ' we are not having a coloured cob !!!'

Just feel so sorry for her as you can tell she's not enjoying her riding anymore and even having lessons etc she's constantly terrified of what her horse may do next

 

[p87]

It is a shame, her husband sounds like a bully. Is anyone forcing her to ride it? Its difficult but she needs to stand up for herself and say no to her husband before she gets seriously injured and loses her confidence for good. Does he ride the horse? Or is he scared as well and bullies her into it instead?

If I was her I would be telling him where to shove it and go and get myself some lessons with a good instructor on a lovely coloured cob

 

[HappyHooves]

Tell the husband to take up riding so HE can ride the horse.... that could change his views a little! And another vote for a gentle horse - though that doesn't necessarily mean a cob ( I have one and I know what they can be capable of!)

 

[nix123]

This is a hard one. Sometimes if people are in relationships with a bullying partner it can strip them of any confidence. This wont be helping her with the horse either. Is there any way she might tell her husband she will not ride the horse anymore. This will leave him with the horse to do on his own and he might see the light then. At the end of the day there's not a lot you can do with regards to the horse, but if you could give her your time to listen to her i'm sure that would mean more to her.

 

[MrsNorris]

If the husband rides and cares for the horse then fine, let him get on with it, if however it is is the wifes horse and said husband just likes the kudos of having a TB to show off about, then the poor woman needs to put her cards on the table, sell the horse to a more suitable home and get something safe that she can enjoy.
Its really not fair on horse or rider to do anything else.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

She should sell. I don't think a cob is necessarily the answer, mine can be spooky as hell. She needs a lovely calm schoolmaster by the sound of it or to be put on a plod to regain her confidence. I lost the plot with mine some years back and got on the slowest ex-racer I've ever known. I was so bored at his lack of forward ness that I saddled mine up and got straight back on!

 

[MyBoyChe]

The exact same thing happened to a girl I worked with about 15 years ago. Hubby agreed to her having a horse as long as it was a nice looking one! They bought a racehorse straight out of training (before they became so popular). They were advised to let him down for a few weeks and then bring him gently back into work. As he became fit and well he also became very feisty, a lovely horse but not at all suitable for a middle aged lady who wanted a nice hack/ridingclub type. She came to work in tears day after day after yet another episode! Hubby all the while insisting that she perservere as it must be down to her and 'they' were not buying a cob. Eventually the very sensible yard owner stepped in and told the hubby in no uncertain terms he would be paying for his wifes funeral if they carried on. This did the trick and the TB was replaced with a lovely fell type gelding. He was by no means a plod but he did everything a bit more slowly and gave her time to react. She went on to enjoy many years with him and her hubby did have the grace to admit that it was the right decision.

 

[Adopter]

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Poor woman I lost my nerve when I was over horsed on TB that got too much for me as she got fitter when in my 20's. I ended up back on a 13.2 to regain confidence, but then went on to have a lovely gelding who was by no means a cob but good looking gent at15.2. He was very successful at showing and dressage. TB went to a rider who got the best from her and was very successful show jumper!

Do hope YO or YM /or instructor can intervene and get through to the husband just how dangerous this situation could be. He obviously is not listening to his wife, but is his pride staying intact and not be seen to back down more important to him than than his wife?

 

[rascal]

My hubby likes lively horses, I like sedate cobs so I know how she feels! Could they not have two? Solved our problem.

 

[Equestriangirl123]

Totally agree with all comments . Her husband has ridden once and the horse scared him , he also tells her that she's rubbish at riding which I don't think helps at all

 

[rascal]

If he says the lady is no good, why is HE not riding the horse? If they are going to get no fun out of it, why not sell to someone more confident/experienced. Sounds like they bought the wrong horse.

 

[pennyturner]

She doesn't just need a new horse, she needs a new husband.

 

[Adopter]

She doesn't just need a new horse, she needs a new husband.

Yes!!!

 

[rascal]

She doesn't just need a new horse, she needs a new husband.

Well I was thinking along those lines, but didn't like to say.

 

[showpony]

What a horrible man, if my oh acted like that he would be firmly shoved out door. If she has been badly injured before shouldn't he be more concerned about his wife's safety!

Totally agree with all comments . Her husband has ridden once and the horse scared him , he also tells her that she's rubbish at riding which I don't think helps at all

 

[mulledwhine]

If she is getting seriously hurt, plus loosing confidence , then how much longer does he expect her to continue with the horse

What a sad story for rider and horse

 

[alainax]

What a horrible man! Imagine putting your wives safety in jeopardy like that! Shouldnt he care to love and protect her? Not put her life at risk in riding a horse that she is clearly not suited too! What a poor woman, she seems totally downtrodden by this bully. Think she needs a new horse and a new man..

 

[Equestriangirl123]

UPDATE: the lady has quietly come and had a word with my friend and I , she's told us she's absolutely terrified of her horse she said to me that he really scares her and she doesn't want to canter in the school anymore ( she fell of on the road a few weeks ago) . Ahh I feel so sorry for her

 

[RubysGold]

Poor woman, i really feel for her

 

[Patterdale]

Glad I'm not on a livery yard is all I can say.....imagine if the poor lady logs on and sees people effectively gossiping about she and her husband?

I just offer advice if asked, and otherwise keep my snout out.

 

[Abby-Lou]

Think you should stick the husband on the horse ! few incidents and a couple of falls should change his mind ! poor lady

 

[putasocinit]

Cant you encourage her to get someone else to ride it, make sure it gets a lot of turn out, feed it magnesium, change its feed, does its tack fit, take her under your wingt to get the horse sane again and help her build up her confidence, then encourage her to sell it when its going nicely, tell hubby she can make money out of selling it, then she can get the cob. Either way tell hubby to bog off, prat

 

[paddi22]

she should sell it.

but if she can't/won't then why not encourage her to get into in-hand showing, that way she can still show the horse off but is in no danger. or horse agility where its on the ground? Some work with a natural horseman type person could be good to get her confidence on the ground. there are tons of stuff she can be doing with it without riding.

 

[Morag4]

I really think the lass needs to tell her husband to do one and sell the horse and get something she is happy to ride or alternatively hand all care and control of said horse over to the great wazzack and get herself a nice happy hack, preferably out of the divorce settlement!

 

[hnmisty]

She should tell her hubby to stick his head where the sun doesn't shine. End of. Unless he wants to take over riding the horse.

I don't know how people can actually put up with people telling them what to do like that. I recommend she goes into Argos and orders a backbone. Poor lady, I know how it feels to lose your confidence and not want to ride, and yes sometimes you want someone to be a bit bullying to tell you to get on...but not if you're not that scared, and not (IMO) if you actually keep getting injured! Tbh with an attitude like his she should stick the horse up for sale and the divorce papers in the post. No one should have to put up with a bully like that.

I hope she tells him where to stuff it and gets her nice coloured cob

 

[Patterdale]

Again, I wonder if this poor woman would be happy to have complete strangers discussing her marriage and situation on the Internet?

This kind of yard gossip never ceases to amaze me.

 

[YorksG]

Again, I wonder if this poor woman would be happy to have complete strangers discussing her marriage and situation on the Internet?

This kind of yard gossip never ceases to amaze me.

To be fair to the OP there is little to identify the woman by and it may actually help her to re-evaluate her situation if she sees it written down. Many people allow themselves to not see they are in a bullying relationship, until some external event opens their eyes. I have to say that I too am glad I'm not on a yard, couldn't be doing with it all!

 

[Patterdale]

it may actually help her to re-evaluate her situation if she sees it written down. Many people allow themselves to not see they are in a bullying relationship, until some external event opens their eyes.

Then surely it's for her to decide whether to write her marital problems (or lack of, as how can any of you be sure?) out and post it to the Internet for evaluation by the general public?

 

[Pinkvboots]

UPDATE: the lady has quietly come and had a word with my friend and I , she's told us she's absolutely terrified of her horse she said to me that he really scares her and she doesn't want to canter in the school anymore ( she fell of on the road a few weeks ago) . Ahh I feel so sorry for her

Maybe she told you this in confidence! Its now the subject on a public forum for all to pass judgement, I would be mortified if someone did this to me.

 

[YorksG]

Then surely it's for her to decide whether to write her marital problems (or lack of, as how can any of you be sure?) out and post it to the Internet for evaluation by the general public?

I rather think you missed the part about external event, but never mind, neither of us know this person. One reason for being glad I'm not on a yard is the "holier than thou" brigade!